do you ever watch other parents and kids...

[sntm]

and want to interfere so badly?

at the pediatrician's office today, saw a man leaving with his toddler girl (probably 1 1/2) who was crying after vaccinations. he doesn't say a word to her as he is gathering her things and as they walk into the hallway he tells her to shut up!

it's not like it was abuse, but i felt so bad for that poor little girl! first, to tell a kid to shut up, and second, one who just got a bunch of painful shots!

shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[etwahl]

ACK! that breaks my heart. i had to tell evan the story. how sad. and i don't know, it does sort of sound like abuse to me - emotional abuse at least.

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[lizajane]

I KNOW!

my mom works at a hospital (your hospital, shannon, as a matter of fact... you are at UVA, yes?) and she sees that kind of stuff all the time. she has a lot of experience, so she knows that it is better to keep your mouth shut and then lead by example than to correct a parent. she explained that if you correct a parent who does actually abuse a child, the parent is likely to beat the child for "embarrassing" the parents. (ie the parent blames the child for misbehaving and requiring the abuse in front of the stranger, who corrects the parent, who then hits the child later because the stranger scolded him/her for "spanking" the the "bad" child.) make sense?

she tries to talk to the child in a positive way in front of the parent to show them how well it works with their child. i guess i do that, too, now.

yes. very frustrating.

[starrynight]

Poor kid :(. I always wanted to cry with my kids when they got shots. I think some guys just get frustrated with crying, my dh does. I hate it and often complain to him to be understanding when the kids cry. But he isn't abusive. I hope for that little girls sake her dad just had an off day and isn't abusive. Although what he said wasn't right no matter the reason.

[kristine_elen]

That *IS* abuse. Emotional abuse is just as bad. I once heard a man tell a little girl, who was maybe 3 or 4 years old and appeared to be his daughter, to "Shut up ... bitch!" My heart broke and I still think about it, although it happened several years ago.

[egoldber]

I still remember a woman I overheard at Target. It was noon-ish, her little girl (maybe 2 1/2) was in the cart, and was complaining that she was tired and hungry. (It was after all, lunchtime and nearly naptime). The mom was trying to shop, but the girl kept complaining and the mother slapped her and told her that she couldn't have anything to eat yet. I still think about that poor little girl.

[sntm]

yes, i'm at UVA! Where does your mom work?

i've always heard that to, that you shouldn't say anything because it could make it worse and that's why I don't, but it just breaks my heart. it's like you have to let it get so bad that you need to take the child away from the parent before you can do anything, so all of these instances of "mild" abuse or just mean parenting go unchecked. i thought about that little girl all night.

shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I'll never forget the child that I heard a mom in a store say "stop that or I'll bite you"... How sad for the child and then to almost be assured that they'll then go out in society with that behavior.


Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[amp]

Yes, cases like that just break my heart. You'd like to run up and hug the little ones, wouldn't you?!

[Melanie]

heartbreaking!

I've never done it, but I've heard a suggestion to say something to the parent, like you feel bad for them, to alleviate some of their stress. Maybe like, "it's hard when you are running late into lunchtime and try to shop, isn't it. I have some snacks I'd like to share if that will help."