OT--Who do you tip at Christmas time?

[justlearning]

A couple of days we got a note stuck into our newspaper from our carrier (whom we've never met), wishing us a merry Christmas and saying that he would appreciate tips and would put them towards buying a new car. I couldn't believe it! First, he provides horrible service (we usually have to hunt our paper down--either out in the street or on the neighbor's lawn) and secondly, that he'd have the audacity to ask for a tip!

Then, today, there was a note stuck in the lid of our garbage can from our "waste management team" that also wished us a merry Christmas. I'm wondering if they did that so they'd get tips too. Interestingly, today was the first day since we moved here 4 months ago that the trash cans were left actually standing up on the sidewalk rather than lying down in the street!

So, it got me wondering...does everyone else besides me tip mail carriers, newspaper carriers, garbage collectors, etc. at Christmas time? If so, why do you tip them? Do you tip them only when they provide you with great service? Who else do you tip at Christmas time? Just curious... (I guess part of this post could've qualified for the bitching forum! :) )

[pritchettzoo]

Ummm...that's so rude! You should call the newspaper office, especially about the cruddy delivery service.

I've never tipped anyone. I always read Dear Abby, etc. about tipping, but I've never done it. I may just be a cheap so-and-so, but oh well. The past few Christmases we've been concentrating on budgeting our family and friends' gifts, so I don't feel like "wasting" money on people I don't even know! I might stick some homemade goodies in the mailbox this year--we have a new carrier who actually gives us the right mail. Woohoo!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[egoldber]

I can't even tell you how much this irritates me! I don't really "tip" any service provider for the holidays. This year I got gift certificates for my DD's preschool teachers and that was it. I usually also get my hairdresser a little something if I have a hair approintment in December, but I feel like I really know her and have a relationship with her. I have never seen my "waste management team" (LOL!!) and I've spoken to the mail carrier once or twice. I'm sorry, but neither of those merits a gift in my book. And I got a simlar letter from my newspaper delivery guy, but I'm sorry, that is just not going to happen!

The one I always waver about is my cleaning service. When I lived in CA, I used a big national company, so I never did. In VA, I've been using a small company. Its owned by a husband and wife and then they have a small staff. But it could be any one of 5 or 6 people who cleans my house on any given day and I am not buying gifts for all those people! And I've honestly only seen them a handful of times since I prefer to not be home when they are here cleaning. So I don't give them anything. I think they are a bit PO'd by it too, since they seem to do a lousy job in January. But oh well. I will not be intimidated into forced giving, especially for a holiday we don't even celebrate!!!!!

[jojo2324]

I leave a tip for the postal worker and delivery men. Unfortunately, I never KNOW when the UPS/FedEx person is going to be here, and don't want to leave a taped envelope on my door, KWIM? And I did just get a delivery, but didn't want to make him wait while I filled out a card and added a bill to it. So, for the delivery companies, it's hit or miss. But I do leave something for the mailman.

I've heard it's appropriate to tip your doorman, hairdresser, child care provider at this time. But I like Anna's idea of cookies! I would LOVE some cookies right now, LOL. :)

I do think it's pretty ballsy for the newspaper carrier to leave a note! Especially when he seems to provide such shoddy service!

[Calmegja2]

Considering that my postal worker has been known to throw packages out of truck at the house, or at least in the general direction of the house, rather than get out of her truck, no tip for her.

I don't really tip anyone at the holidays. I give gifts to the teachers (not personal items, but things they canuse for the school, like gift certificates to stores), if I have a hair appointment, I have been known to give her something (but she and I go to movies together, since we're both nutso over the same actors).

I've never heard of tipping a trashman, and soliciting for a tip? What????

[amp]

Maybe I'm a Scrooge, but I don't tip anyone at the holidays. I always wonder if I'm the only one, since you always read about who you're supposed to tip. Our paper carrier attaches a letter every year. She does a good job and specifically says that "tips are truly not expected or necessary", but then tells us where to send them! LOL! We've never sent one and I felt kind of bad, but not bad enough to actually write her a check! And as for our mail carrier, I'd consider a tip if s/he didn't leave behind a patch of oil at our mailbox or in our driveway everytime s/he comes through. I guess s/he maybe really does need a tip then! I even went to the hairdresser yesterday and she only got $S1 more than usual, because it's what I had in my wallet.

[cuca_]

We tip our cleaning lady and the doormen in our building. I thought I once read somewhere that you are not supposed to tip the mailman since its illegal for them to accept cash from customers. Maybe some sort of statute that applies to federal government workers. Has anyone else heard this? Sadly I am a lawyer and used to work for the government at one point (not federal though), but my post baby brain is mush.

[tarheelmom]

From what I understand, the Post Office allows a maximum gift value of $20 for mail carriers, and I think they frown upon cash.

My mail carrier is a very nice man who does an excellent job for us -we moved temporarily to another state for a few months this year and he really took care of our weird mail situation for us. We live in a historic neighborhood and all our mailboxes are on our houses, so he has to get out and walk to each and every front porch no matter what the weather is like. So, I did tip him a $20 bill this year, but in past years I've just given a small gift (like cookies, etc.).

I also always tip our news carrier at Christmas, since I don't tip throughout the year. Again, she does a great job and I feel deserves a tip at Christmas.

I have never tipped garbage collectors or hairdressers. Pre-baby, we had a cleaning service and I did tip them at Christmas, but they were a husband and wife that did it all themselves.

All that said, I certainly would not tip anyone who I did not feel was doing a good job!!!

Carmen

[bluej]

The only person I tip is the oh-so-cute young hottie that delivers my groceries (yup, I look my best Thursdays!). I don't know if I tip him b/c he's so gosh darn cute or b/c I despise grocery shopping so I'm just thrilled beyond belief that I don't have to do it anymore!

[lizamann]

We tip the doormen in the building and the valets at the garage. (Oh to live in the suburbs!) The problem is that there are a lot of them and there is a HUGE difference in quality - one doorman hates to help me with the carseat stroller, whereas another one always cheerfully volunteers to haul it up the stairs. Some valets bring the car right up and even adjust the front seat the way I like it, while others leave it in the back where I can barely open the door. So I feel bad giving them the same tip. And even at 10 dollars per person (I have no idea what's appropriate) that adds up to a TON of money because there are so many of them. Not to mention the huge maintenance staff in the building that does a fantastic job. We wonder what to do every year.

I used to be a teacher at a private school, and you should have seen the gifts I got then! Cashmere gloves, $50 gift certificates for anything and everything, L'Occitane products (they got me hooked), Veuve Cliquot champagne, Radko ornaments, really fancy gourmet baskets, 3 months of fruit...ok, now I'm missing my job a little! I always liked getting the gifts but never expected them (maybe 20% of the kids brought them in), and I much preferred them to cash, which would be a little weird.

[C99]

I always assumed that it was illegal for postal carriers to accept tips, so I haven't ever really considered tipping the mail carrier. Last year, we got not just a note from our newspaper delivery person, but an *envelope* addressed to the carrier. Needless to say, we didn't use it. The weird thing was that I had been debating tipping the person until I saw the envelope. I also had only been getting newspaper service for about 2 months, so I wasn't so inclined. This year, I may leave a small tip for the newspaper guy (it's a different person).

[lukkykatt]

I think it is highly rude of your newspaper carrier to leave such a note. I think it would make me want to go out of my way NOT to tip him/her, even if I had been thinking about it!

We DO tip our cleaning people, and we give a gift certificate to our babysitter (she has been with us for 3 1/2 years and we try to treat her VERY well!). My cousin is a mail carrier in NYC and I was shocked when he told me that he receives presents from some people on his route.

BTW, our trash cans were left upright today by our "waste management team" too, LOL!

[C99]

>for us. We live in a historic neighborhood and all our
>mailboxes are on our houses, so he has to get out and walk to
>each and every front porch no matter what the weather is like.

OK, why is this unusual?? Every neighborhood I've ever lived in (in 3 different states) has had this type of mailbox situation. I just consider it part of the job.

[tarheelmom]

Hmmm..you're lucky in my opinion! This is the first house we've lived in that the mailbox is not at the street, where the mailperson can just stick it in from his truck!! Someone told me that unless your house has a box on the house, pre-existing, you can't get it moved to the house unless you are handicapped. I don't know if that's true or not, that's just what I heard. Since I'm not handicapped (ours was here when we bought the house) I consider it a bonus for us that we don't have to walk to the street to get our mail. Man, do I sound lazy or what?!

Carmen

[justlearning]

That's how our mailbox was when I was growing up, but in both of the homes I've lived in with DH, the mailbox is on the street so the mail carrier just drives right up to it and sticks the mail in it. Much easier on them that way! In the event that it won't fit in the mailbox, the mail carrier just leaves the package on our front porch without ever knocking so sometimes we only realize that it's out there (we leave through the garage) after a few days. I really wish they'd at least knock when leaving a package. (Sorry for complaining again about shoddy service!)

[lisams]

I do not tip these people. I don't believe this is what the holidays are about. It's sad that people have come to expect monetary gifts or even beg for them. When I was teaching, the best gifts I ever got were letters parents spent time writing telling me what a difference I have made in their child's life, giving specific examples. I have and will keep those forever and will never forget the kindness and thought that was put into such a gift. These are the kinds of "gifts" I feel are appropriate for these people, not money. Just my opinion!

Lisa

PS Here's what my mail carrier would get if I got a note asking for tips from him: Dear Paper Carrier, here's a tip: asking for money is rude.

[miki]

We used to live in a huge apartment building in NYC--over 900 apts. The building management always sent out a facebook around the holidays specifically for you to know the names of the building employees so you could give them tips. I always thought it was a bit rude. A lot of people would just tip no matter what. Imagine if just half of the people gave just $20. It must be a big chunk of change they rake in!

[June]

I tip my newspaper delivery person. I am appreciative of the person who wakes up in the night, regardless of the weather, and delivers my paper. I think that the note about the new car was inappropriate. I remember tipping the waste management workers in the past when we lived in a house where they would walk to the back of the driveway to cart the trash away. I was impressed with the service. I tip my hairdresser or give her a small gift. I love her work! We even exchange Holiday cards. I tip the petsitters who watch my cat around the Holidays. They make my life easier. And, I give my cleaning person a small gift. We chat from time to time when she arrives. I guess I do all this because my father delivered newspapers as a boy and my grandmother was a hairdresser. Sometimes a small token can mean a lot.

[pritchettzoo]

LOL--I'm picturing a Chippendale dancer carrying brown grocery sacks!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[mspacman]

Our paper carrier doesn't just solicit tips at Christmas - EVERY bill he sends us has a blank for tips on it, all year round! And he is lousy. If there's more than an inch of snow on the ground, no paper. (Maybe it's because we never tip him, but if he wants tips he'd better EARN them.)

As for mail carriers, it seems like more and more of them these days are contractors rather than USPS employees (you can tell because their vehicles don't have USPS logos on them) so maybe the contractors are allowed to accept tips, I dunno. Our old house had a very nice mail lady and I tried to tip her, but she turned it down.

LOL at that note in the lid of your trash can. What are you supposed to do, stick a roll of money into your lid when you set it out?

[s7714]

The paper carrier at our old apartment used to include a professionally printed Christmas card with his personal "holiday greetings", name, address and a printed return envelope with his address on it! No mention of a tip, but it was quite obvious that's what he was after. We lived there four years and never once sent him a tip. The carrier at our new place hasn't ever asked.

We do tip our gardner every year though, because we're really happy with his service and he's always willing to do extra things at no charge.

Jennifer

Annalia 03/03/03

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I tip my hairdresser well during the year, and I NEVER ASSUME ANYONE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS, or for that matter don't appreciate strangers at the grocery store assuming I do...so to tip special this time of year isn't even in my thought process. I feel like I am a generous person to causes...but I do have trouble tipping everyone and anyone for the jobs they do, you have techs in hopspitals barely making minimum wage who might have jsut done CPR on a family member and they don't get tipped (and expose themselves to contamination) so why would I tip a driver who is not mamged all day, not stuck in a cubicle, gets good benefits etc...

I think what they did was RUDE, and I am suprised the post office allows that!!!!

With that said...when I vacation I always go out of my way to tip the cleaning ladies (or any women who helps me) well. I am amazed we will throw $1 or $2 a bag at a guy who carries our bags up, but that many leve nothing to a women who spends an hour cleaning you room and who really effects my stay...and who gets no money to begin with. I want to break the habit of men gettign more than women do...
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[mamahill]

I hate it when people ask for tips. Our newspaper person used to do this, and then we quit taking the paper, so problem solved!

That being said, my UPS guy is fantastic. I joked with him that he was Santa this year because he's been delivering so much stuff. I kid you not - I saw him EVERY day this last week, and probably 1-2 times every week since Thanksgiving. So I gave him a big ol' tub of homemade fudge and other candies. He was very appreciative.

I think tips (and gifts in general) are best given when heartfelt by the giver, and unexpected but appreciated by the receiver. I hate it when I give people gifts or send people cards and they say, "but I didn't get you anything." Duh, that's not why I did it.

[new_mommy25]

I don't subscribe to the paper and I consistently b***ch them out because they won't stop soliciting me over the telephone. I really need to figure out how to block anyomous numbers,lol.

Anyway, my mother does get the paper and she is the type who calls everytime she has a problem. "My paper was wet this morning, can they put it in a sack tomorrow". "My paper was in the grass today, can they aim it more towards the garage". She is always nice about it and they are always very accomadating. So to anyone who has shoddy service I would advise giving the office a call.

I'm not tipping anyone this year because I don't really get any special services and I am cheap and broke to boot.

Growing up in Hawaii it was always a tradition to leave out a case of beer for the garbage men. They didn't have the automatic ones at the time, the guys had to run behind the truck and haul each can's trash in the back. Now that I think about it thats probably not very safe and I hope they weren't drinking and driving, lol. My husband told me that when he was a kid him and his brother used to steal the garbage men's beer and run off and hide to drink it. Boys..tsk..tsk..

[parkersmama]

I'm glad you asked this! I always wonder about tipping. It's a practice that I believe is *way* out of hand! I got small gift certificates for volunteers at church who work with my kids every week and slightly larger ones for their school teachers. We don't get the paper so that's not a problem. Our garbage pickup is done by the county prisoners so I'm not sure that a gift is appropriate! The ones that I wonder/worry about are my hairdresser and our cleaning lady. I'm just not sure what to do about them! I guess that at least a token gift would be good, but what?? I tip cash to the hairdresser every time I'm there and he is the owner. I've only been using the cleaning lady for a couple of months and I have no idea what's appropriate.

[C99]

Oh that's a good idea. I love our UPS guy. Very courteous and friendly and helpful.

[cinrein]

I don't tip anyone either. I would get a gift for my hairdresser if I have an appt in December.

I'm now wishing I had tipped my mail lady. If she had a package for us and it looked like it might rain, she'd put in in a plastic bag so it wouldn't get wet sitting on our doorstep! Once she had a certified letter for us that needed a signature and when we didn't answer the door, she noticed our garage door was open with 2 cars in there, so she walked around to the back of the house and found us doing yardwork. I really appreciated that. Now we have another mailman who is just terrible.

Federal employees can keep gifts that are valued less than $25.

For those of you that give baked treats, how did they go over. I am a Fed emp. and years ago my office got some brownies from someone who was happy with the help our office gave her. While we were thrilled with her effort, we threw them out cuz we were afraid of "taking treats from strangers". They probably were fine, but we literally deal with millions of people and you never know.

Cindy and Anna 2/11/03

[dogmom]

I have to say, I usually don't tip, but it's out of sheer laziness more than anything else. Yes, my paper delivery person pisses me off by leaving a card with my paper. On the other hand, I know that delivering papers doesn't pay much and the AVERAGE price for a single family home in my state is $350,000+. So, they have to get up really early, drive in lousy weather in the dark, for only slightly more than the wear and tear on their car would be my guess. I'm not sure where that leaves me in in the whole tip calculation.

Probably something like this:

$20 starting tip
-15 For pissing me off
+10 Guilt $$, because I'm a have & not a have not
+5 Reminded that the holidays should be a time of giving
-5 Wanting the holidays to be less material
-------------------------------------
Total: My head hurt's, I'm going to just spend the $ on eggnog & rum ;)Maybe I'll tip next year.

Jeanne
Mom to Harvey
1/16/03

P.S.-My Dad's a retired letter carrier. I think he would have given up all his tips if he could have avoided surgeries on both his hands and feet and chronic arthritis from his job. So, I find myself biased about the whole Mail Man issue and will remove myself from discussion.

[papal]

I love our UPS guy too... i am not tipping anyone but him... and its not a $$ tip... i just picked up this nice looking jar filled with cranberry relish from Crate and Barrel. We walked to the Crate and Barrel Outlet especially to pick something up for him (and I dont even know his name!)... he is always so friendly and has a nice word to say and works really hard, more so at this time of the year.
What i like is that it is always the same guy.. with FedEx it seems like we get a different person for each delivery!
Go UPS!

[toomanystrollers]

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone. Besides the holiday tipping non-sense, I get annoyed by the "tip" cups at the local Dunkin' Donuts and pizza joints around here. Come 'on!!!

For the holidays:
I give $20 to our milkman and $10 to our paperboy who gets a reg. weekly tip added into our prepaid subscription. I also buy small gifts for dd's preschool teachers - usually something that dd and I add hand-decorated embellishments to. THAT'S IT!