When was the first time you left DS/DD for a vacation?

[mattysmom]

DS is now 10 months and we are thinking about taking a vacation in March. I'm really torn - do we leave him for 5 or 6 days (with my parents or in-laws) or find a vacation spot where he could join us. He'll be about 13 months and probably walking (he's getting close now). I'd love people's input! Thank you!

[amp]

Maybe I'm too attached, but i couldn't leave DS several months from now. At least I don't think I could. Maybe when he gets a bit older I won't feel that way. Additionally, if we went on a trip, I think I would love to watch him explore a new place. I just think that even though traveling with a babe could be harried, the trip wouldn't be the same and I wouldn't enjoy it as much without him. In a few years, ask me again...I bet I'll be aching for a trip without him just for a few days!

[flagger]

Our take is we travelled the world for almost nine years on our own before DD came into our lives. At this time, we do not want to take a vacation without her.

[emilyf]

We're debating this too right now-pre-baby I didn't think this would be such an issue! I think 2-3 nights would be my limit right now (ds is 13 mos) I think we are leaning towards taking him on our vacation, but I would be willing to leave him if we go for just a weekend. We left him for 2 nights when he was about 8 months, and it was actually very nice-I was scared I'd be a wreck, but it went very smoothly. I was glad to see him when we got back though!
Emily \r\nmom of Charlie born 11/02

[MinnieMouse]

Dh and I talked about this a lot since we have friends that have taken vacations w/o their kids.

For US...a vacation is a family event and that means the entire family goes on it. We have left Beth (now 2.5) with her godparents or my sister for lengths of time....but not more than 3-10hrs, never overnight. WE aren't ready to leave her overnight and I don't think she's ready as well.

We are about to go on a cruise next month. My sister works for Carnival so we are cruising on her ship. I have no problem with letting Beth go to their "camp" for a few hours at a time, but she won't be there all the time. My sister warned me though that kids LOVE the camp and usually want to be there instead of with their parents :-).

HTH

Christine

[etwahl]

absolutely take him with you!!! this is a great time to start with "family vacations". mil has asked us on more than one occasion when we're going to take a vacation and leave dd with her. i said never! now that we're a family, i can't imagine going on a vacation without her.

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[justlearning]

Interesting thread because I've just been thinking about what we should do for our summer vacation when DS will be around 14 months old.

On the one hand, DH and I could REALLY use some alone time right now. On the other hand, I can't bear the thought of leaving DS alone with my parents in Phoenix while DH and I go to Hawaii for a week. For my own comfort level, that's just being too far away in case of an emergency and also too long to not be around him.

One idea I've come up with is going to San Diego just for one night (possibly two) while DS is at my parents' house so DH and I can have some alone time but then take my mom along with us to Hawaii to be our "nanny." That way DH and I can still go off by ourselves everyday and have fun doing the things we enjoyed doing pre-baby (e.g., snorkeling) but can then still be together with DS and my mom in the evenings. We had my mom come on a trip with us before to serve as a nanny (while we were house-hunting in a new town) and it worked really well. Because she doesn't get to see DS often, she LOVES just staying back at the hotel and playing with him all day and then she also really appreciates getting to spend time with all of us in the evenings. Although going off for the week by ourselves would be much more romantic, having my mom go with us as a nanny seems like a good compromise.

[Piglet]

We have done both -

We went away for 5 days when DS was 11 months. DH had to go to Toronto on business and my mom suggested that we leave DS with my parents so I could go with DH. I was going back to work 2 weeks after that, so it was really nice to reconnect with DH and get a bit of RnR before going back to full-time work. We also left DS for a week with my parents when he was 16 months old. We had originally planned to fly with him to Vancouver/Seattle, but my mom again suggested we leave him with her - he was in dayhome by that time and she thought it best we don't mess with his schedule too much. We had a nice time and were able to drive, instead of fly, which was beautiful!

We went to Hawaii as a family when DS was 7 months old and we specifically picked Honolulu because we didn't need a car to get around. DS was great on the flight and we have some great memories of going to Hawaii as a family. We also went to Montreal when DS was 22 months old and stayed with DH's grandparents - of course we brought DS for the fantastic bonding with his great-grandparents. That trip was exhausting because DS will only sleep in his crib, not in his stroller, so we had to stop everything between 12-3 for his naps. Not too bad, but it meant we were really limited in what we got to do in Montreal (sightseeing, etc.).

I guess it depends on your baby, your family and your destination. Some kids would be more flexible than others to a disruption of their schedule/sleeping location/etc. My parent live up the street from us and spend a lot of time with DS. They know his routine and stick to it. Also, some destinations are better than others - we were very mobile in Honolulu, because we could put DS in his stroller and walk everywhere, or take a bus. I didn't like the idea of taking cabs in Toronto with DS in a poorly fitted carseat and parking/driving in TO is crazy. Just some thoughts...

[khakismom]

I've done both too. Kathleen took her first plane ride at 8 weeks when she and I visited my parents in Florida--just the 2 of us! :) Since then, she's been lots of places. But we have also traveled without her. The first time was when we moved from Indy to KC when she was 13 months. My parents took her for a week to Florida so DH and I could finish packing the house, make the drive, and start to unpack the new house--without a toddler in the middle of it. Then when she was 16 months, DH and I went with my brother and SIL, and his SIL and BIL to Vegas for 4 days and my parents watched her at our house. Kathleen went back to Florida with my parents for a week and a half right before Ellen was born. And earlier this month, she spent 2 weeks in Florida with my parents! (As you can see, my parents cannot get enough of her and love to have her! :))

Ellen we haven't left yet or traveled with. But we are all going on a cruise together in May and are so excited!

IMO, it's wonderful to travel with kids, but it's also nice without them. I think the parents need some alone time while the kids are growing up. We took *tons* of vacations every year with my parents (Dad was a pilot so we flew free :)). But my parents took many by themselves too. I just think every marriage can use some quality alone, just-the-parents time.

As for your question, 13 months is a really fun age. You guys could have a great vacation. But if you want it to be just the 2 of you, that's nice too. :) Good luck!

[mattysmom]

Thanks for everyone's posts - I think I'm convinced that I don't want to leave ds!! Maybe a compromise is that DH and I go to a b+b for one night this winter - we've been talking about doing this for a while now... And, we may have the option of vacationing with my parents who could help out as nannies (well, my mom, really). DS is NOT good with change - so I want to find a vacation spot that would be easy for him (and us). Maybe somewhere in the carribean?

[NancyJ_redo]

That's a tough question. Have you spent any time away from him yet? If not, I suggest a one or two night trip away from him before the big trip to see if you and he can handle it.

We're struggling with a similar issue right now. Friends of ours are getting married in May in Cabo and in theory, we'd like to go for the 3 day trip and leave DS with my mom (DH and I have had zero alone time since DS was born in June...colicky and now with separation anxiety means no date nights either). But, I've had to take a couple of two day business trips since DS was born and it really kills me when I have to leave. I miss him terribly the whole time I'm gone. So, although a 3 day Cabo trip sounds romantic, I honestly think it would be very hard to leave DS for that time. Thus, my suggestion of a 'practice' trip to see if it works for all of you.

Good luck, it's a tough decision!

[Sarah1]

We've also done both--we went away last summer for almost a month and were "based" at DH's parents for about 2 1/2 weeks (DD was about 8 mos old at the time). We went away for two LONG weekends--first for 4 nights, then for 3 nights, and left DD with the in-laws. The ancipation of leaving her was MUCH worse than the leaving itself (I was pretty stressed thinking about it, but in retrospect I am SO GLAD we did it--it was an important first step, I think, and it was SO WONDERFUL to be on our own schedule again...wake up whenever we want, eat whenever we want, just do WHATEVER we wanted--we had a GREAT time!

We also spent part of that month on vacation at a hotel in L.A., for a week with DD. We got a suite so that DD had her own area and we had alittle more privacy. We also arranged for ababysitter thru the hotel 3 nights that we were there. It was expensive, but it worked out great, and that's a nice compromise if you want to take a family vacation but also have some alone time as a couple, too. If you decide to go as a family, I recommend staying somewhere that can arrange a babysitter.

I also recommend that if you do leave DS, allow for a few days of "transition" time with whoever will be watching him. That really helped in our case. DD did great while we were gone.

[Calmegja2]

We don't go on vacation without our children.

We've had a weekend here or there, when no one's nursing, but that's been rare.

[mamahill]

We've only gone overnight without Ainsleigh. I haven't read other replies yet, but we bring Ainsleigh on any trips we go on. Yeah, the travelling is a little different, but we absolutely love showing her new things and having more pictures with her. She's my buddy. Heck, I flew cross-country with her, but not DH, when we had our retreat in NC in August. And while I don't think I'll do that again (by myself), it just goes to show I was more inclined to vacation with her and not DH, than vice versa!

[Momof3Labs]

I love the idea of having a close family member come along as "nanny" - even to give you a few hours' break now and then (dinner alone while baby sleeps in the hotel room, etc.).

We're contemplating Disney World next December, and will probably take my mom and dad along as an extra pair of hands!

[Momof3Labs]

We haven't traveled without Colin yet, though I've taken a few business trips (max 2 nights) alone - and was miserable being away from him!

One thing to think about at that age is baby-proofing. If you leave him at your parents or in-laws house, are they fully baby proofed? And if you travel with him, pick a place where you will have some baby-safe space - it is exhausting to be chasing a toddler around everywhere worrying about every hazard (we did that last May, visiting MIL and FIL).

[brubeck]

I couldn't bring myself to leave Amy until she was 18 months but at that time we left her at our house for 10 days with her grandparents and we went to Hawaii. This June when Andrew is 18 months we'll be doing the same thing and going to Asia.

It IS important to have alone time with your spouse. We have taken the kids on trips before and we were just never able to relax. You'd be amazed what a few days alone on a cruise ship does to revitalize the marriage and make you look at your spouse as someone other than 'Mommy' or 'Daddy'.