I am interested in sleeping with my baby when he/she arrives.

[rorycam]

However, I don't know the logistics of how to do it. I use a big down comforter, plus one of those body pillows, plus I move around a ton at night and pretty much tear up the bed. I have to have my pillows and blankets positioned just so to even fall asleep. I have seen articles that say no bedding, but I don't know how to do that in real life as DH doesn't wear pajamas (sorry if that is too much information). We have a queen size bed, but are thinking that we should get a king size if we plan to do this. Is there any hope for me at all, or should I go ahead and plan on a crib next to the bed? How do you do it and still sleep comfortably, or am I just an extra-picky sleeper? Thanks!

Rory

[mrmansmom]

Hmmm... the way you describe your nightimes (lots of pillows to sleep and lots of tossing and turning) I would be a bit hesitant to cosleep. I don't think the size of your bed is an issue (we coslept with a regular full size bed), but I would worry about your baby getting lost somewhere in the covers and pillows. When my DS was a newborn, all he did was sleep. Newborns can't move themselves around at all, so they can't let you know if they are being jammed with an elbow or covered by a pillow. I slept with my arm around him each night with my wrist arched in the most uncomfortable position to keep myself from rolling over on him. No kidding- I think I gave myself Carpal Tunnel from sleeping like that each night. It was worth it to know that I wasn't going to smash him. We used a blanket on the bed but I had it tucked in at the bototm so it couldn't be pulled up above our mid-chests & couldn't cover DS's face.

I would recommend trying to sleep now without all your pillows to see if you can do it. When your baby comes would not be a good time to try out new sleep situations- you'll be exhausted and need every bit of rest you can get. Maybe you should get a cosleeper. While some might say that your maternal instinct will kick in and prevent you from tearing up the bed while your newborn is in it, I don't know if I would take the chance. You can start with the cosleeper and see if your sleep habits change with your baby near by. It's definitely better to err on the side of caution. Plus, if you get a cosleeper you can use that as a travel bed for your child. They pack up nicely and don't take up too much room in the car.

[jojo2324]

I think a co-sleeper would work well for you...You can have the baby near your bed, but you still have the freedom to move and adjust through the night. We co-slept with our first...he was born in the summer, so blankets weren't a huge issue for several months. When we did need covers, we kept them down low, like mid-chest level. I always sleep with my arm wrapped around DS, and like the other poster, I woke up each morning hurting! Honestly, I don't think my arms have recovered from it. (Just in time for #2...:)) We didn't use a co-sleeper, but in hindsight I wish we had. (We have a cradle for DD-on-the-way.) We also don't really move much during the night. (Gannon is the thrasher in the family. :))

We have a Snuggle Nest for our daughter being born in a few weeks. I have never used it before, so I can't tell you how it works. It's like a 3-sided box that your baby sleeps in.

[Melanie]

I was wanting to co-sleep at first, but nervous, too. We actually did not co-sleep with Ds as a newborn (probably b/c we never slept! LOL!), but ended up doing so eventually.

I also used to be a big and wild sleeper, but that changed in me once my little one was by my side...I didn't conciously make a change, I just changed...KWIM? Also your Dh will probably lose his nighttime sleeping freedom a bit with baby anyway and start wearing his PJs, unless he likes changing diapers and rocking in the nude. ;-) Honestly, all I can say is how you sleep will change dramatically once you have a baby, whether or not they're in your bed. It's just what happens, not a bad thing, just a big change.

A co-sleeper sounds like a good idea. I think with our next baby, so that we are comfortable co-sleeping from the start we'll probably get the snuggle nest. I was so so so afraid with Ds...afraid of every single ill you ever hear of so I just wasn't comfortable. Ironically Dh was comfortable co-sleeping in some ways that we've since learned are not safe at all (i.e. on the couch with Ds on a pillow).

Here's a good Dr. Sears article on Sleeping Safely with your Baby:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

and another co-sleeping article:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000.asp

When Ds was small, he slept between me and a bed rail, some feel bed rails are not safe, so if you can put one side of your bed against the wall, you may prefer that. If you can get a king-size bed, then why not? We co-slept in a queen until Ds was probably about 7-8 months and started moving on his own in his sleep (at which time he was moved between Dh & I instead of next to the edge).

Lastly, I highly recommend the Dr. Sears Baby Book. We called it our baby encyclopedia and I don't even know how many 2 am's we spent dog-earring the pages.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

[spu]

I started cosleeping with my babies when they were 6 mos old. Prior to that, they slept partly in their cribs, and partly with me as I nursed them in a semi-reclined position. When they did officially sleep the night with me, also asleep, in our bed, I made sure to remove the down comforter and keep only a sheet and a coverlet on us.

If I were you, I would consider a side-car at first and as you get more comfortable, you can keep your baby with you more throughout the night. Also, napping together at first is very helpful.

If your DH is a deep sleeper (and aren't they all?) then make sure you're in the middle and your baby is on the outside. Make sure your mattress is firm and doesn't have one of those soft pillow-tops and your sheets should fit snugly, esp. the fitted sheet on the bottom.

All the books listed above have great safety recommendations for cosleeping, and if you're planning to nurse, it's a wonderful way to raise a baby. Just make sure you're keeping all the safety issues in mind.


susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte + else

http://sunger2.home.comcast.net/bash/nonflash/year.html

[lizajane]

it sounds as though you have answered your own question- that co sleeping is not going to work for you. if i were you, i do not think i would feel comfortable having my newborn in my bed, knowing that i would thrash around. BUT you do have a heightened sense of awareness when you officially become a mom. so perhaps you would become a lighter sleeper, and therefore a more "still" sleeper. i would not feel comfortable with the pillows and comforter, either way.

my story- when i was having a horrible first 6 weeks of nursing, a lot of people told me to try co-sleeping "so that i could get some rest." um, no. just the opposite. i HATED having him in my bed. i could NOT sleep with him there. i was physically uncomfortable, unable to roll back and forth, without enough room to sprawl, and feeling like i had to move gently as to not disturb him. i was mentally uncomforable, because i was always worried about how he was doing, if he was safe, when he would wake up next, etc. as he got older, and i would pull him into bed to nurse every now and then in the am, he would move around, wack me in the face, kick me in the stomach, etc etc and drive me nuts. now don't get me wrong- i love him, i love having him sleep on my chest sometimes or in the rocker or on the couch... but never in my bed at night. i just didn't get any sleep at all.

we had a basinett by the bed, and even there he made a lot of noises that kept us up. we slept much better when he went into his own room. so please don't think i am insensitive. i just wanted to be brutually honest, so that you could have something to think about.

i think the co-sleeper that attaches to your bed is a GREAT idea for you. i really hope you find an arrangement that works for you!!

[ethansmom]

I had the same experience as Liza.

Now, there's nothing I like more than snuggling or having him nap on my chest, but if we have another baby, s/he will not be spending the night in our room.

[daisymommy]

Get the Arms Reach Co-sleeper, you'll love it! (we did). It sounds like it would be the perfect solution for you. You would still have the benefit of having your baby close by, which is so reassuring knowing they are okay, they are breathing (without having to get out of bed 100 times in the middle of the night to check). It’s great when you are breastfeeding, just being able to scoop baby into bed with you to feed him and not get up. Also, when he/she is fussing at night, no trips down the hall way to sooth him, just reach over, give a loving pat, and they calm right down. Waking up to your little sunshine smiling at you each morning is the icing on the cake. I liked having a co sleeper so that I could have my baby in my bed when I wanted, but if I needed more space, or wanted to snuggle with my husband, I could put my DS safely into the co sleeper and have more room in the bed. It was the best of both worlds, and I highly recommend it!

There are two sizes of Arms Reach co sleepers. A full size (which is what we have--and will use with future children), and the mini size. I have heard that babies quickly outgrow the mini size (it's the size of a bassinet). But if that’s all you have room for, or you only want to co sleep for a couple months, it would be fine. We used the full size version till our DS was nearly 1 year old, and there was still room in it. Portable crib or Pack and Play sheets fit the mattress in the co sleeper well.

OH! I almost forgot--We started out with the Graco Triad co sleeper/bassinet in one. It was really nice, and only about $100. You can get it at Babies-R-Us. The Gerber cradle sheets fit it great. We only switched to the Arms Reach co sleeper when our son outgrew the Graco one (at about 3-4 month--but he was a BIG boy for his age!). I wish we had of just started out with the Arms Reach model, since we co slept for so long. But in the beginning I only thougth he would sleep next to us for 3 months, max. But we loved it so much, we decided to continue on for several more months.

Hope this helps!

[kransden]

You have described me and our bed situation completely. Except for the fact I didn't want to co-sleep but dd did. Guess who won? I bought a Snuggle Nest. It is great. BRU carries them. You can't roll over on the baby or cover their face with the comforter. Easy to BF too. You really need a king size bed for them though. My baby hated to be close to plastic. So I wrapped the snuggle nest mattress in a nice towel and covered the whole thing with a king size pillow case and pinned it in the back. This was the only thing that gave me piece of mind so I could sleep and made her happy too. (the co-sleeper didn't work) She also had her own set of baby covers so dh and I wouldn't freeze her.


Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[alleyoop]

Me three! Exactly what Liza said!