Should we hold DS's 1st Birthday party at home or a restaurant?

[LD92599]

Help me decide!!!

Here’s the dilemma….DS will be one on March 5th (one word…ALREADY?). We’re trying to decide where to hold his party. The choice is either a local steakhouse for lunch (price fix…comes to a bit less than $300 including tip and tax; the meal would include a salad/salad bar plus either a burger platter, sandwich, etc.) or our home.

We’re looking at 20 or 22 people; 19 would be adults. It would be a tight fit in our home for that many people; if we did it at home I think I’d order cold cut platters or a 6 foot sub along w/ usual deli type salads.

I can’t decide if it’s worth my time, effort, cleaning, etc (I work FT…DH is a SAHD but the cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc would be my job!) to do it at home….or should we just pay to do it out of the house and actually enjoy the few hours w/ our guests and not have to run around cleaning up, etc.

HELP!!!!!!

Laura
Mom to William
3.5.2003

[cchavez]

If your DS will enjoy it I say go for the restaurant.

[Tondi G]

I would say.... if it's a private room where children can be contained then go for the restraunt.... let someone else do the cooking and cleaning! I would say if you will just be at a table where you can't put your little one down on the floor really then maybe at home would be better! Be sure to bring a blanket or something with some toys for the little ones to keep them occupied a bit!!!! Good luck

~Tondi and Mason 7/8/01

[dogmom]

I'm going to dissent here. I'm planning to have a few people over for my son's birthday. My (current) idea is to have a few people over in the around one, serve, some cake and have some food. Play with Harvey, then put him down for his nap and socialize with the adults. I might actually have it early evenng and do the same. (You know, I got so much time left.)

I guess the only reason I hesitate to have something big is will everyone expect the same for the following years? I'm sort of in shock at how big the birthday thing has gotten. I only had 2 "big" parties when I was growing up, and they were always at our house.

Jeanne
Mom to Harvey
1/16/03

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Our plan is at home so I voted "at home" but I don't totally know your limitations on space etc...so it's easy for me to say :)

We THINK we are doing a home event in late afternoon and then doing a clam bake that follows. Ours is going to be an adult party for the most part...then again I don't really know what I am doing yet...

Keep us posted as we are planning about the same time we can bounce ideas off of eachother :)
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[momma_boo]

I voted for the restaurant. That way you can have it outside and not have to worry about cleaning up. It is so hectic trying to clean up the house for "guests." I end up cleaning for an entire week (a few hours every night after work) if we are having company on the weekend. I know you aren't cooking food, but you still have to prepare the serving area, get together the utensils, get the drinks/soda, etc.

If you have it at a restaurant, you can DH can relax and enjoy it. B/c I'm sure you won't have a problem finding people to hold/play with William!

We are actually having a fairly large shin-dig for Sarah's First Birthday. In the Korean tradition, it's a pretty big deal, so my parents are throwing it (meaning they will be footing most of the cost...Ithink/hope). It'll probably be at least 50 people, I think.

[parkersmama]

Another vote for at home here. We have always done birthday parties at home (or at the *free* neighborhood swimming pool/pavillion). I like the homey feel and everyone is very relaxed. Our standard setup is to do parties that are mostly our friends and their children until the 4th birthday. The 4th birthday starts "real" parties...the child chooses which friends to invite and we have a theme with games, cake, and favors. So, for a young child (age 1, 2, or 3) I invite our friends and their kids to our house and we have appetizer type foods and cake and ice cream. There are no planned activities, just food and fellowship. It's always been fun and no complaints from anyone. One thing that a lot of parents in our circle do (including us) is put "no gifts, please" on the invitations until the child is old enough to understand (begins with 4th b'day for us also). We have plenty, plenty, plenty of toys and don't need our friends to buy more! Our house is absolutely overrun with them. We occasionally have someone bring a gift anyway but I just graciously say "thank you" and put it aside to be opened later (to avoid embarrassing the other guests who followed instructions!).

But, I would totally understand wanting to have the party at a restaurant. Although the cost would irritate me, it sure would be a relief to not have to worry with things! If you're up for it, I say go for the home party but if the work will get you down or drive you crazy, skip it and do the restaurant. :)

[lukkykatt]

I voted for restaurant. We are having DS' party here at home this weekend and I so wish that it was going to be someplace else! I bribed him with everything under the sun to have it someplace else, but he wanted it in his new playroom. It's his birthday, so I had to go with the flow (but wish I didn't).

BUT, I am going to have 8 4 year olds and their younger siblings, plus even more adults. At least with the one year old set, things should be relatively calm!

The one thing that I would say if you are having it out is to make sure you can stay at least 3 hours. We have been to parties where the room has been rented or reserved for 2 hours and it is really not enough time - everything ends up being rushed - that is if you were going to have cake and open presents there. If not, 2 hours should be plenty.

Now, I am off to shop for this party :) Whatever you do, everything will work out fine.

[MelissaTC]

I voted for the restaurant. If you are tight on space and feel more comfortable, I say go for it. $300 is a great price. If you start to add up the cost for you at home, I bet it would be close and then you have the pleasure of preparing and cleaning up. Enjoy your guests and your DS's first birthday!

[marit]

I voted for "home".

I think home parties are nicer and better atmosphere. At a restaurant everyone sits around the table, munching on their food, and hardly get to socialize with people other than their spouse. At home, it's more a buffet kind of thing, so people take their plate and stand and talk with other people (because there are never enough chairs...).

I would skip the lunch thing because it is too much work, and have people around 4 pm for cakes and coffee/tea. You can serve the cakes on paper plates so the clean up is not a big deal.

But of course, what ever you choose, the most important thing is that you and your baby have fun!

Congratulations!!!

[C99]

I read back through some old threads on 1st birthday parties last week when I was trying to decide what to do. One question that I thought was helpful was: is the birthday party for you or for you baby?

I was on the fence about inviting relatives (mostly adults) only, or including those people and our playgroup. I decided that it will be more fun for Nathaniel (and probably, really, for me) to invite his "friends" and make the party about him rather than making it an adult party where he is the star attraction. Accordingly, we're having a very simple baby birthday party at home. Cake and ice cream and maybe some chips and dip, and balloons and bubbles. We're inviting 22 adults and 8 kids.

[Elilly]

We had the same problem. 30 family members in our house in November (Indiana not sunny Florida). We had a party for Colleen in the afternoon after she woke up from nap and then adults stayed and we had a pig roast (catered)for dinner.
FWIW, Colleen hated the cake and screamed b/c it was mushy. She would have made a huge scene had we been in a restaurant in unfamiliar surroundings. HTH!

[csa12]

This is a timely post b/c DS will be turning one on the 24th. DH and I decided to have a small party at our (tiny) house. We will invite his family and my brother and his wife and maybe a couple of close neighbors. Hopefully my mom will come down for a visit as well. We decided to keep it low key because DS won't be aware of what's going on and we can have a bigger party when he is two (and hopefully in a bigger house). The best part to me is serving DS his first piece of b-day cake, so I'm more comfortable with him diving in at home where I can clean him up better.

The day after though, I plan on taking DS to a clown show that he absolutely loves--will be a nice treat for him and a good way for him to enjoy something special for his b-day. So in the end we will celebrate in both our home as well as a public setting.

edited to add that I voted for having it at home.

Have fun planning the party!
Cheryl

[vikivoly]

I voted for home. We had DD's 1st at home and it was a lot of work even though I had pizza delivered. We have a large family with a lot of kids and I think they enjoyed being able to run around the house a bit. Plus, I think it was a little easier on the baby since she was in familiar surroundings.

[peanut4us]

Laura, you evil thing, you! You can't bring this topic up yet... William's in the same month as Sara... and MY BABY is simply not almost 1. that's all there is to it! There, I feel better.

Anyway. I would do it at home. I don't want to even think about cleaning Sara up without a sink or hose! And I know the cleaning is a bugger, but it really doesn't have to be. Dust the week before in the downstairs... or whatever MAIN areas you want people to be in. Then vaccuum the day before. Oh and clean the bathroom a couple of days before. DH is a SAHD too... and I totally understand about the cleaning still being your domain, sigh. Different topic. Anyway. Your house does NOT need to sparkle so that 19 people and 4 kids can demolish your hard work.

Since I've gone back to work, my theory with company is... I'll make it presentable before they come... then I'll really clean when i clean up their mess, so that I can enjoy it! Let us know what you decide.

I'm trying to decide if I want to risk a BBQ. We live in central texas and most years it's pretty nice about the end of March... unless it's raining. This last summer we had about 30 adults and 12 children to the house after Sara's baby blessing... it was a buffet/BBQ kind of thing with seating inside and out. It went quite well and I didn't really have as much mess as I thought to clean up. Of course being able to HOSE down the deck helped a lot! Good luck.

Edited to add: Maybe I am just tacky... but I would also use only paper products... cups, cutlery, plates, bowls, napkins, etc... And have 2 big garbages in strategic positions. No cleanup there. But then, i HATE doing dishes.

[Dcclerk]

Maybe I am reading more into your post, but it sounds to me like you are leaning toward the restaurant. But maybe I read that because I am in the restaurant camp;) I think working full-time will only make it more stressful for you to do the extra work to get your home ready for the party. Then, it is a ton of work to clean up after the party, even if you only use paper products. Maybe I'm projecting here, but I would be getting more and more resentful of DH and all the stuff I had to do after work, if the party were at home.

Another alternative I could think of is to hire a cleaning crew a day or so before the party, so that some one else takes care of it. DH would be in charge of straightening up and some one else could actually do the cleaning. It probably would still be a little cheaper than the restaurant and you would have the benefits of being in a particularly clean house for a while. Then, DH gets to clean up after.

Another alternative that might work depending on where you live and what the weather is like is to have it at the park. No clean up for you, plenty of space and activities for the kids, and you can have cheap catering, too. I've had a couple of friends have birthdays at the park and they LOVED it.

[kransden]

If the restaurant has a separate room for your party, I vote on it. You would be spending at least 150.00 for food at home, plus all the cleaning etc. The one thing I would do is bring a lot of toys for the kids and some blankets etc. so they can crawl around on the floor and have a good time too.

I don't believe that people will expect it every year. The first birthday is special just like the 16, 21 and the x0's. I had dd's at home but the weather was great and we could go outside. I was even "told" by several of my friends that it was expected that I have a big 1st bd for dd. It is the local custom to get her own "smash " cake too. So do what makes you happy, your not going to be able to do that ever again for a bday! :)


Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[LD92599]

Thank you to everyone for your suggestions! We weighed everything and decided to splurge on the restaurant for this year ~ I made the reservation last night!

DS is VERY used to restaurants..ranging from McDonalds to The Palm and everything in between. He's always well behaved, so I'm not too worried about that. Besides..a sippy w/ EBM and he's happy as can be!!!

I thought about the cake aspect..I'll be sure to bring extra clothes plus those JnJ wipe things w/ the built in soap (head to toe cloths?!).

It was definitely a toss up...pros and cons to both home vs. restaurant. I think I'm going to get the day off for his actual birthday so we can just hang out together and not worry about the running around, etc to prepare.

Now that DS goes to sleep at a normal hour, I have some time to do stuff around the house in the evenings and learn more w/ Photoshop...thanks to someone here on the boards for this idea (sara/mamahill), here's the invite...i added white bold text on top of the photos in a "kiddy" font for the party info...left off here for obvious reasons!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/1864.jpg

DH went to Costco today and had them printed on 5x7 lustre finish paper :-) I'm thrilled how they turned out!

Laura
mom to William
3.5.2003

[justlearning]

WOW!! I LOVE your invitation! William is adorable in every picture, and it's so great to see him through the various stages. I'm now stealing your idea and doing this for my son's birthday party.

[vikivoly]

Laura,

That is such a great idea. William has such a cute little round face. It looks like it's been an exciting and happy year!

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

If I steal you invitation idea right out from under you????
I love it!!!
William is a cutie pie!!!
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Sarah1]

Laura--that is ADORABLE! What a clever idea for an invitation...think I'll do something like that next year!