View Full Version : My baby is a lousy napper
s_gosney
01-06-2004, 06:18 PM
When dd was first born, I wrote a post about her always wanting to be held, and many of you responded that it was totally normal. Now, 2+ mos later, we're still in the same situation. She'll play by herself for 5-10 minutes a couple times a day (I'm not necessarily looking to improve on this time right now) but all of the other time of the day, she wants to be held. I get her to sleep (sometimes this takes a loooong time) and then lay her down and she usually wakes up 20 minutes later if not immediately. I read all of the dr. sears stuff, so I know to watch for limp-limb, but she still wakes up. But, if I hold her continuously, she'll nap for 2-3 hours. So, usually what happens is I lay her down (both so I can do something and to try to get her to sleep on her own), and she wakes up quickly--either right away or 30 minutes later tops. I wouldn't mind these power naps except that she's fussy 30 minutes later because she's still tired. So then I spend another 30 minutes getting her back to sleep and usually I end up just holding her so she'll get a decent nap. So, basically my whole day is spent getting her to sleep/holding her while she sleeps. The up-side is that she does reasonably well at night (she just nurses and goes right back to sleep), but that's because we cosleep which was totally unplanned but necessitated by her refusal to sleep elsewhere. I've actually grown to like it (SO easy for BF!).
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe some reassurance that this will pass. I know that I can't spoil her at her age, but it sure is hard to remember sometimes. The other thing is that she has to start daycare soon :( and I know they won't be able to hold her the whole time.
One last thing then I'll shutup...I noticed recently that she has really irregular breathing patterns when she sleeps (she goes 7-8 seconds sometimes without breathing and then gasps in a big one). I read that apnea seems to be linked to reflux which we know she has. We have a doc appt this week and will be discussing that there, but I was wondering if that is maybe why she awakens so much?
I guess maybe part of me thinks I could handle her demands better if I knew there was a reason or if I had a reason to explain to everyone why I do what I do. I know that's silly though...
I don't really think she's colicky. She fusses (whimpers) a lot, but if you hold her how she wants to be held (this never involves sitting down for the holder), she's fine. She rarely cries inconsolably.
Sorry I lied earlier about shutting up. I'm done now. Maybe I picked the wrong forum for this post since I feel like all I've done is gripe. I just need a listening ear (or 100) and some advice. Thanks so much for listening.
I can commiserate! DS was a terrible napper when he was younger (younger - like he's really old now at 7 mths!). He slept best when being held. I often napped with him on my chest on the couch (I know, it's supposed to be a no-no, but lots of us do it). I wondered how people got their kids onto a schedule and got anything more than a 20 min nap out of them. All I could ever do is nap with him if I wanted him to sleep more than that. I can't say exactly when, but it did change. Now DS does nap much better. He still has days where the naps are way too short, but now he won't sleep on me unless he is completely and utterly exhausted. DH always wishes DS would sleep on him on weekends like he used to (he feels like he doesn't get enough time with him before bedtime during the week), but DS won't sleep that way for more than aobut 20 min. now, whereas he might sleep an hour or two in his crib. Strange how it reversed. Hang in there!
As for the breathing issue, I have absolutely no expertise here whatsoever, but I will say that my son had strange breathing in the early days. They even checked it out at the hospital. His little chest would start heaving and he would breath more rapidly. They found no cause, so we tried not to worry about it. He did outgrow that. It sounds like what Kylee has is different, and since you know she has reflux and that apnea can be related, I recommend you speak with your ped about it. That should reassure you about whether it is something you should be concerned about or not.
And FWIW, when DS was fussy in the evenings (or days for that matter), he wouldn't let us sit down to hold him either. Just hang in there. You're doing a great job!
cchavez
01-06-2004, 06:40 PM
Diego has never been a great napper but it has gotten better. Here are two things that might help:
1)As soon as she wakes up scoop her up and rock her, hopefully she will go back to sleep.
If this doesn't work try.....
2) not going to her when she wakes up. leave her in her crib for one hour...she might go back to sleep.
I did both with Diego. When method 1 worked I stayed w/ that for awhile. Then his naps got better. But then his naps got worse and method #2 worked better. So I stayed w/ that.
hth
Sherri--
I'm no expert--my kid is only a month older than yours. But that month made a big difference in her napping. A month ago, I'd work for 30 minutes to get a 30 minute nap just like you are doing now. But at night, she would fall asleep easily by herself (meaning I could put her down in her crib awake and she would fall asleep without any other assistance) so I knew that she could do it without me. I had also read the Weissbluth book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Because she was not a fussy/colicky baby, I decided at about 12 weeks to use a routine for all her sleep and be consistent as Weissbluth suggests. I make the nap routine a mini version of the bedtime routine. At naps times she gets a dry diaper and gets taken to the very dark room I've set up for her naps. She gets rocking and singing/humming a song for 5 minutes max. If she closes her eyes before 5 minutes is up, I put her down. If she's still awake after 5 minutes, I put her down and she will suck her thumb and take longer to go to sleep. (Note that when I say I'm putting her down, it's in her swing because she likes the seat but she doesn't get the swinging motion anymore.) I also tried very hard to figure out that magic moment of being tired but not too tired. It took about 2 weeks of working on this but now her naps are much better. In the beginning she got more rocking and I decreased it over time. She knows the drill well enough that my husband can also get her to nap well even though she is used to me. She usually has 4 naps a day, one of which is about 2.5 hours.
Now we are working on conquering the next frontier of napping while lying down.
Don't despair. It all works out. As my sister-in-law said to me, babies are a moving target. They change right when you think you've got them figured out. Good luck.
cdlamis
01-06-2004, 08:39 PM
I haven't read the other posts but I will tell you that my DD NEVER napped in her own crib when she was younger- she only napped in my arms or in bed with me. It was frustrating that I couldnt get anything done though- I agree. We co-slept at night so she wasn't used to her crib. This lasted until she was 9 months old. One day we moved her crib into our room right next to our bed and she took a 3 hour nap the first day! Now I don't know if she just moved into a different phase of her life or if it was because the crib was in "her" room now. Anyway, she is now a great napper (2-3 hours) in her crib. I really never thought we would get to this point. I really thought I would be holding her for all her naps until she was 3!
This is only my opinion- but I think I gave DD what she needed until she was ready to nap on her own. 9 months may seem like a long time to some people but I do think that is why she is a great sleeper now. JMHO though!
Anyway, I think it will pass that your DD only wants to sleep in your arms. It seems like you have tried everything else. I don't really have any suggestions for you. Good luck!
Daniella
Mom to Julia 6-13-02
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b35d0802848f *December pictures
Momof3Labs
01-06-2004, 08:52 PM
I'll stick with the original response that you got - that is totally normal!! Colin still napped in our arms at 2 months. Around the three month mark, a huge burst of neurological development takes place, plus the "missing" fourth trimester (a la Harvey Karp) ends. It was about 3.5-4 months when we got Colin to nap in his crib, and he's been there ever since.
Savor this time - I really miss snuggling a sleeping baby!!
sherri, I have no advice, I just empathize as we have been going thru the samr thing! usually ds naps in the bjorn while a) on a walk; b) duing laundry; or c) doing dishes. Most recently we've got him to nap in his stroller while on a walk. Very occasionally I can get him mostly asleep in my arms and then slip him into his "swaddle me," if it's not already on, and he'll nap on the sofa while I am close. Those naps don't last more than 1/2 hr. probably but they are nice since I can maybe do a quick clean of the room. I hope that this changes soon, because I feel like a big oaf around the house and also if ds doesn't nap, it makes the evening much more cranky.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.