JulieL
01-23-2004, 05:59 PM
Change our cities to yours!
> Mattel has announced the release of these new Limited Edition Barbie
> dolls
> exclusively for the San Antonio Area:
>
> TERRELL HILLS BARBIE: This princess Barbie is only sold at the Quarry
> Market Shopping Center. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade
> handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a
> freshly-remodeled
> house. Available with or without a tummy tuck and face lift.
> Workaholic Ken
> sold only in conjunction with the "augmented" version.
>
> STONE OAK BARBIE: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your
> choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and
> has
> no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell
> phone
> sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
>
> WESTSIDE BARBIE: This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm
> handgun, a
> Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark-tinted windows, and her own Meth
> Lab
> starter kit. This model is available only after dark and must be paid
> for
> in cash. Preferably in small untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop.
> Then
> we don't know what you're talking about.
>
> DOMINION BARBIE: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
> sports
> car or souped-up Hummer2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit
> card,
> and Country Club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
> Ken
> and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
>
> SEGUIN BARBIE: This model comes dressed in Wrangler jeans two sizes
> too
> small. She sports a NASCAR T-shirt and has a tattoo of Tweety Bird on
> her
> left shoulder. She has really big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Lite,
> and
> a Hank Williams Jr.'s greatest hits CD set. She can spit over six feet
> and
> regularly kicks Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pick-up
> truck
> separately and get the Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely
> free.
>
> ROCKPORT BARBIE: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears
> leopard-print beach outfits and drinks cosmopolitans while
> entertaining
> friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.
>
> ALAMO HEIGHTS BARBIE: This doll is actually made entirely of TOFU, has
> long
> gray hair, archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup, and a
> mutt.
> She prefers that you call her "Willow."
>
> BOERNE BARBIE: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has dark red
> lip
> liner with your choice of lips covered with sparkly pink or no fill-in
> at
> all. Her ensemble includes low-rise, acid-washed jeans with assorted
> colored G-strings that stick out the back and white see-through
> halter-top.
> Accessories include a CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a rusty old
> Ford
> pickup.
>
> BONHAM EXCHANGE BARBIE: This is really Ken in a beautiful long blonde
> wig,
> with great legs and swimsuit model boobs. Heavy make-up to hide the
> 5:00
> o'clock shadow is included. Her outfits include feathers, sequins and
> beads, bright pastel colors, and big clunky costume jewelry. She can
> lip
> sync to any Bette Midler or Cher song. Her boyfriend doll is borrowed
> from
> GI Joe.
>
.
> Mattel has announced the release of these new Limited Edition Barbie
> dolls
> exclusively for the San Antonio Area:
>
> TERRELL HILLS BARBIE: This princess Barbie is only sold at the Quarry
> Market Shopping Center. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade
> handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a
> freshly-remodeled
> house. Available with or without a tummy tuck and face lift.
> Workaholic Ken
> sold only in conjunction with the "augmented" version.
>
> STONE OAK BARBIE: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your
> choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and
> has
> no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell
> phone
> sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
>
> WESTSIDE BARBIE: This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm
> handgun, a
> Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark-tinted windows, and her own Meth
> Lab
> starter kit. This model is available only after dark and must be paid
> for
> in cash. Preferably in small untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop.
> Then
> we don't know what you're talking about.
>
> DOMINION BARBIE: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
> sports
> car or souped-up Hummer2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit
> card,
> and Country Club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
> Ken
> and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
>
> SEGUIN BARBIE: This model comes dressed in Wrangler jeans two sizes
> too
> small. She sports a NASCAR T-shirt and has a tattoo of Tweety Bird on
> her
> left shoulder. She has really big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Lite,
> and
> a Hank Williams Jr.'s greatest hits CD set. She can spit over six feet
> and
> regularly kicks Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pick-up
> truck
> separately and get the Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely
> free.
>
> ROCKPORT BARBIE: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears
> leopard-print beach outfits and drinks cosmopolitans while
> entertaining
> friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.
>
> ALAMO HEIGHTS BARBIE: This doll is actually made entirely of TOFU, has
> long
> gray hair, archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup, and a
> mutt.
> She prefers that you call her "Willow."
>
> BOERNE BARBIE: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has dark red
> lip
> liner with your choice of lips covered with sparkly pink or no fill-in
> at
> all. Her ensemble includes low-rise, acid-washed jeans with assorted
> colored G-strings that stick out the back and white see-through
> halter-top.
> Accessories include a CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a rusty old
> Ford
> pickup.
>
> BONHAM EXCHANGE BARBIE: This is really Ken in a beautiful long blonde
> wig,
> with great legs and swimsuit model boobs. Heavy make-up to hide the
> 5:00
> o'clock shadow is included. Her outfits include feathers, sequins and
> beads, bright pastel colors, and big clunky costume jewelry. She can
> lip
> sync to any Bette Midler or Cher song. Her boyfriend doll is borrowed
> from
> GI Joe.
>
.