Decisions, Decisions...What would you do???

[McQ]

Well I have a bit of a decision to make here. At first I thought it would be a no-brainer but now, well...

We just won this big project at work that I was a part of. So now I have to decide if I stay on my current assignment or go to the new assignment. The current assignment is better for my family/state of mind. The new assignment is better for my career/mental stimulation. So I choose to stay right?!? as family comes first. But the thing is I just hate what I'm working on now. It just doesn't excite me in the least. I dread working on things. It's a struggle every day to be creative and act enthused on some thing that just bores me to tears. But the new assignment is what my background is in, it's challenging and some thing that I would love to do. Argh! What would you do?

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[barbarhow]

When you say your current assignment is better for you r family/state of mind is that because of hours and work demands? If you hate what you are doing right now maybe it would be better for your state of mind to be mentally stimulated. Is is possible that it might balance out? That is the creative outlet would allow the daily work to be less of a struggle? Just some thoughts.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[McQ]

When I say better for family it's a better commute, better hours, better boss, less demanding work schedules and I work with friends. The only thing I don't like about this assignment is that the work is boring and I just can't get jazzed up about it. I'd love the work on the other assignment but the rest could be awful. I'm hoping I can make it work but I think I'll always be fighting to go home at a reasonable hour and have piles upon piles of deadlines.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[Dcclerk]

Well, I should make this a caveat that I don't love my job, so I don't have a counterbalance, but I figured I would just give you my not-so-quick take...

I have a job with long hours, 45 min+ each way commute, lots of mental stimulation and tons of deadlines. I often get in really early before DS wakes up and come home to play with DS for an hour before he goes to bed. I then get back to work until 10-11. I also work with friends (though they seem to be dropping like flies) and switch between superiors who are wonderful and ones that are hellions (and sometimes these are the same people).

There have been a couple days when DS has come to back-up childcare right by my office or I have gotten home really early. Those days have been amazing. I honestly didn't realize what a difference just being together makes. Quality time is important, but I do think that quantity time, for working moms, is pretty key, also. They can tell if you have deadlines and are thinking about a project while you are with them. They can tell when you are frazzled from a long day or bad commute. I honestly think that I do a pretty good job of letting everything else go during the little time that I have DS, but there is still an appreciable difference. Most of my friends with kids have left my job for less interesting, but more predictable and less time-consuming work. They are all happy they did. I'm looking to go that route myself, at least for a while.

On the other hand, I do believe in the "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" theory of life. So if you are not happy in your current position, and believe that you would be happy and enthusiastic in your others, even despite the other detractors, then that new position sounds great.

Good luck in whatever you choose!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

honestly, I say take care of *you* and the rest will fall into place.

assuming it is not totally unworkable at the new assignment as far as childcare etc.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[houseof3boys]

Tough one Allison. I say choose the project that will make you happy. But I would hate it if that meant less time with Declan! I think the reasons you named as far as your current project are good ones and it will allow to just keep status quo. The new one will be more challenging and exciting but do you want the extra pressure?

Of course, I am now a SAHM so who the heck am I to answer but hey I was on that corporat ladder not that long ago! I chose to stay in my current position instead of taking an offer for a promotion since I knew that would mean less time for Debbi and more challenges when I wanted nothing to focus on except trying to conceive (IVF struggles). Less stress is a beautiful thing especially when you have Declan to think about. And he is on his way to Harvard now that he mastered the step.....

Tough decision and you'll probably get tons of confusing opinions so I would say do a pros/cons list for both and then make your choice! :)