Valentine's Day relationship advice for mamas...

[brigmaman]

Because it's almost V-Day, I thought we could share some advice on how to keep our relationships with our significant others healthy even in the crazy baby/toddler years.
I thought and thought and decided that I would ask my mom. She and my father just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary on Feb. 9th and have raised 5 children. I'll start off by telling you a few simple things she had to share.
Her first advice was something her mother used to say, "Never go to bed angry." I can actually remember her saying this when I was little, but can appreciate it more now.
Next she said, "Never let your husband leave without saying (kissing him) Goodbye"
These two bits of advice are things I have taken for granted, but things I have carried from my family to MY family (dh and ds). I guess it's all about appreciation. It is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and take things for granted.
So now, please share your thoughts. :)

[bluej]

Well my advice comes from my dad, so clearly this has a male slant to it. Schedule sex for at least once a week (same day, same time) otherwise it's easy to use the later, not now, I'm tired, I need to do this, do that, etc excuses. Once you get into a rut of not having relations it's hard to get back into well, having relations. So basically make it habit and the more you do it, the more you want it. Yeah, imagine this conversation w/ my dad and two sisters. Btw, DH knows about this conversation and he's wondering when the more you do it, the more you want it is going to kick in.

[starrynight]

LOL Jen, I think I would die if my dad had that convo with me. Although I have found his advice to be true..

In our house we always say "i love you" when we end a phone conversation, even if he called 400 times that day, and also when one of us leaves.

And try to make time for each other once a week. If you can't go out on a date, stay in and rent a movie or have a late dinner after the kids are in bed and talk. :) We have to get back to doing this, when we just had Alex we did all the time, now we only do that once a month, month and a half instead of weekly.

[jec2]

What a great idea. My parents will be married for 40 years in September and have 3 adult kids. Anyway, one thing that I take from them is, "Don't worry about the dirty dishes, they'll still be there tomorrow!" What they meant was to get on with what's important--each other and the family.

[ethansmom]

What a great post!

My Grandparents were married for 64 yrs and gave us advice on our wedding video tape: spoil each other and don't go to bed angry.

[Jen in Chicago]

My Mom told me we need to have "dates" once a week. Which can be after Jude goes to bed. A date does not mean you have to go out. Can't say we have really followed this, but I want to.

So many things I would like to do!

[Raidra]

I'll have to ask my mom about this.. she and my dad have gone through some rough times, but have stuck together through it all.

My only tip for staying connected is to really make sure you get time to talk just the two of you. For us, this is for 20 minutes or so in bed after Colwyn has gone to sleep. It's the only time that there aren't other distractions and we can really focus on each other.

Oh, and in our family, whenever someone leaves go out, we always say "drive/be safe." This started from my mom being paranoid, but I do it all the time now.. and being the semisuperstitious person I am, I'm convinced that if I don't say it, something horrible will happen. I've even called my husband back after a phone call if I forget to tell him to be safe on his way home from work. :)