Toilet Training

[cara1]

Am I *allowed* to post this here? :) I don't like going all the way to the Toddler Forum. My Mom is making me nuts. I nursed DS last night (24 mos), "You're not STILL doing that, are you?" "When are you gonna move him into a bed?" "When will you start toilet training? You were trained at 19 mos, and in a bed, too". I'm not sure what the rush is to have him grow up. But anyway, we got him all naked for his bath, and he stood in front of the tub and he peed all over the bath rug. "See, that means he's ready to start training." How's that? Peeing on a rug when he's not supposed to means he's ready? She implied that he was responding to external cues (water running, being naked). My son is minimally verbal, and only two, and a boy. I hadn't even planned on thinking of training til at LEAST 2 1/2. Am I crazy? Is she?

[KMommie]

I'm not experienced, as DD is only 10 months old, but I thought I'd give you some support. It seems that your mom and others her generation remember that toilet training began at around 18 months. At least that's what MIL tells me. It drives her crazy that her 3 year old grandson is still running around in dipes. :P I have several friends, and they all waited until at least 30 months, more like 3 years old to start. So, you can at least tell your mom you have lots of company!

Jeannie
mommy to Kiki 4/18/03

[brubeck]

You are not crazy! I went through a bad time training Amy and the one thing I learned (that everyone had always said) was that they won't train until they WANT to. So if he's not showing signs that he hates/is aware of a dirty diaper or wants to wear big kid underwear you will have a much harder time of it. I literally taught Amy everything she needed to know to train by 28 months (the ENTIRE process, how to dress/undress, what to do in the potty, etc.) but she didn't really train until she wanted to. If you start too early you will accomplish some small things, but may also give yourself a big headache.

If you want to have some ammo for your Mom though, just sit him naked on the toilet while you are running his bath. Then if he pees it will be in there and your Mom can be satisifed. This is actually what we started doing with Amy just to get her used to sitting there. There's no need to take it beyond that, but then you can officially claim to be 'training'. :)

[Calmegja2]

Every kid is so different. My first basically woke up when she was 27 months old and decided to be potty trained. It was a breeze. I got cocky. What was so hard about this? ;-)

Then came Jake. We started at around 30 months, and it took us almost 18 months untilhe was completely trained. I thought I would go insane. Actually, I was going insane, slowly, and there were visions of pullups to accompany me.

Third child, we waited until she was three, and accomplished it rather quickly.

What I learned is that there isn't a schedule. There's no right and wrong, and for us, we had to wait until the child was really ready, and really interested, before we had a chance of it working..... ;-)

Good luck to you, and tell your mother, that while you love her desperately, this is just something you'll take your own initiative on.

[lukkykatt]

You are not crazy! Things were just different then. My older son did not go to a bed until he was 2.5 (and would have stayed in longer, but we needed it for his little brother), and just potty trained at 3.5. I did things according to his schedule and comfort level.

When he was 2, I got him a potty and put it out and let him get used to it. For a long time, he wouldn't sit on it at all and I didn't force the issue. Your son needs to have the motivation and interest, good verbal skills, and the bladder control before he is "ready" to start. And boys tend to be older than girls when they are ready.

[COElizabeth]

Maybe you could gently point out to her that since she was in such a hurry to get you to grow up then, it doesn't make a lot of sense for her to treat you like a child now by telling you how to raise your son! :)

Seriously, I don't think you're crazy at all. My nephew didn't begin potty training until he was 3 because he showed not one sign of readiness before then (not really even then, but my sister decided it was time to start), and I think the process went a lot smoother than it would have a year earlier. No bothering with a little potty, and he quickly went to peeing standing up like Daddy. My niece (his sister) is starting a lot earlier, but it's totally her initiative.

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[doubleL]

You're not crazy and neither is she. It's just a generational thing, imho. I think kids potty trained early when cloth diapers were the norm.

MIL got DS a potty (from a consignment shop... but that's another story :)) when he was 18 months. I accepted it with a big smile and told her I didn't plan to worry about it until he was 3. She was clearly horrified.

I think he's at the point where he could do it now(32 months), but when I ask him if he wants to, he shows no interest or negativeness, so I'm not pushing it.

Good luck with Mom!

Lou
~David 5.01
~Elisabeth 6.03

[cara1]

Thanks for the feedback. Ew, a used potty?
I know you guys are all right. I guess what took me aback was her thinking that peeing on the rug was a sign of readiness. I still just don't get that...