When can I feel safe with DS in our bed?

[lrg]

I know there are many of you out there that co-sleep and are comfortable with it. We never were, so my 11 month old (almost) has always slept in a pack n play or in his crib. On the last vacation we took in December, the pack n play didn't work so well - he woke up in the middle of the night every night and cried. We'd bring him to bed with us until he fell back asleep, moved him back into the pack n play, until the next time he woke again.

We may go away this weekend, but even if we don't, we may have other trips coming up. Is he old enough that SIDS is no longer a concern? When do they have the ability to wake up and reposition if their face gets covered?

Neither my husband nor myself are motionless sleepers, and DS is not, either. (I find him ALL over the crib any time I check on him in every direction, on his back, side, stomach, etc) I'm concerned about covers, our pillows, our bodies smothering him, etc. Also, if he sleeps at his grandmother's house, he does the same thing. Goes down ok, but wakes up in the middle of the night and can only fall back asleep in bed with her. It's not a fun game for her, so this last time, she put him in the bed with her for the next 8 hours. (which makes me nervous)

So when can I feel like it's safe?

[MinnieMouse]

From day 1 (okay day 2, day 1 was in the hospital), Beth has been in and out of our bed. Typically I nurse her to sleep in our bed, transfer her to wherever she is sleeping (at 2yo she's had a cosleeper, a crib and is now on her 2nd twin bed). She almost always wakes in the middle of the night and comes back to bed w/ us.

When she was brand new, the cosleeper was next to my side of the bed and she would sleep between it and my. Once she outgrew the cosleeper (at about 6mo) I got a bed rail and she continued to mostly sleep on the outside, but occasionally between me and dh. Once she hit your ds' age, it pretty much ended up wherever she wanted to sleep she did. LOL!

Beth has always been a restless sleeper. I can remember her spinning around in her sleep in her cosleeper when she was days old...and just last week she woke me up in the middle of the night when she turned horizontal in bed and was laying on my head!

Beth never tolerated blankets well, and she's a very warm kid by nature so we just dress her in warm pjs and she rarely wanted the blanket on her at all. Dh and I just scooted down a bit in the bed and Beth slept right up at the head, and the blanket wasn't a problem.

I can't remember a time when I thought our setup was unsafe or I was concerned for Beth at all. She's pretty mobile in the night and will push US out of the way if we are taking up too much of HER room :-).

HTH

Christine

[sntm]

i don't know the actual numbers, but if he still is at risk for SIDS, it's pretty darn low at this point.

we cosleep most of the night, but i am a motionless sleeper, so that isn't an issue for us. he should be old enough to reposition any blankets, etc. pillows might be a little harder, though, so i would just not keep any extras on the bed, only the ones under your head.
jack has slept with a cloth diaper over his face (despite my best efforts to break him of the habit) since he was 5-6 months and could easily pull it off and put it back on.

another consideration is to make the edges of the bed as safe as possible, so he can't roll off or crawl off and hurt himself. jack's a wild sleeper in his crib, but we sleep with my arm around him and he doesn't move all night that way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[McQ]

Here's one I've been wondering about. What if you child is a monkey and can climb over any thing or has no fear. If Declan is ever in our bed, he will go to the edge of the bed, turn around and try to slide off it (just like he does on the step down in the living room). Or crawls to the edge to check out what's on the nightstand.

So I'm worried that if I ever bring him to our bed at night and the little bugger wakes up (and we don't) that he'll find a way to fall out. Or that I'll never sleep soundly waiting for him to make a move.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[Rachels]

It's safe, but it's not the only option. Most hotels have the option to rent a cot, and we often do that and then just put the mattress on the floor by the bed. Abigail will nap there and start her nights there. I can lie down on it with her to soothe her if need be, and then get back up once she falls asleep again. My mom has a crib mattress and a twin mattress at her house that we use in the same way whenever we're not there to be in bed with Abby. At eleven months old, though, he can certainly wake up and move covers (or complain) if he gets stuck, so if you do decide to cosleep, you don't need to worry now the way you did when he was a littler infant.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Melanie]

Well, Ds joined us around 4 or 5 months and I was a touch nervous. I did not feel it was unsafe, but I was still concerned about giving him enough space, etc. We upped our bed to a King and Dh & I were crammed on about 1/2 with his highness getting the rest. LOL. Once he became really mobile (more like a tiny person, less like a baby) it's been very "comfortable." Comfortable in quotes b/c I get feet in my back or face now. LOL. He always crawls up out of the covers, so it's nto a concern. We got him his own pillow when we'd wake up to his face against ours trying to share. He was over 1, but less than 2. The ped. said it was fine as long as not overly-fluffy.

I can't give you SIDS advice from a professional perspective, but I would think 11 months old is beyond the danger area. Just make sure that you and your husband are not under the influence of any altering substances (alcohol, drugs, cold medicine...anything that will make you drowsier or less aware than normal).