For Those Who Have Used No Cry Sleep Solution. . .

[MartiesMom2B]

how well did it work? DD is waking up regularly during the night and it's getting harder to get her back to sleep. Weissbluth/Ferber methods are not working for us at 2:00 AM because I simply cannot tolerate the crying, she will cry for over an hour if I let her and it seems like when I go in to reassure her, it pisses her off more when I leave. I'm trying not to nurse her at night to go back to sleep, which right now is the only way. The night nursing is driving me nuts and makes me want to wean and to never breastfeed in the future.

So what I want to know about the No Cry methods is how fast does it work?

Is it easy to follow?

Is this method good to teach your child how to go back to sleep? Getting her to go to sleep is not the problem.

Please only from those who have used this method.

TIA!!

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[deenass]

Sorry ... I can't say that we've had success with NO CRy (or with any method so far) but I wanted to say that you are not alone in the night nursing driving you nuts (and making you want to wean) I've felt the same way myself.

I'm anxious to see if anyone has any suggestions!

[mharling]

I could have written your post! We are in the exact same boat. :(

BTW, we are going to start weaning at 1 year and I don't think dh realizes how good he has it now in terms of the night wakings, IYKWIM. ;)

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/2303.jpg Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b346cc5b6556 - New pics 1/26

[slknight]

Sorry, no answer for you here either. I'm in the same boat! I posted something last week about all the night wakings we were having. Last week I was honestly ready to give up BFing forever, it was making me so crazy. Alex was waking up and I KNEW he wasn't hungry. I would send DH in to comfort him, and he would just scream until I showed up.

But this week has been a bit better. We have done some of the NCSS. I do try to pull him off a bit while he's half asleep, and sometimes it works. Also, sometimes he is semi-awake when I put him in the crib and I can get him to go to sleep by rubbing his back. (Rather than nursing him all the way to sleep and then putting him down). But it doesn't seem to be too consistent. Some days he is ok with it, and some days there is a lot of nursing to sleep. I can't seem to see a pattern or necessarily any improvement. I think it just depends on his mood.

Susan and Alex (04.18.03)

[shishamo]

Hi Sonia,

I used the no-cry with my DD when she was around 10 months or so. It did makes things better (waking up less at night, 2-3 times, not eliminating it completely) but it took a long time. Maybe about 3-4 weeks?

She really never learned to sleep thru the night until I night-weaned her around 13 months or so, combined with some of the method in the NCSS book. What we did was we put her to bed (she goes to sleep fine), and when she wakes up at night I have my husband go in. I don't, since I have the breast-association. He will try to sooth her to sleep, and gradually he will interact with her less (please see the book discribing this). We pick her up at 7am and nurse her, but I tried not to nurse her right away, to break the 'wake up and nurse' association.
The first night she SCREAMED a ton, but it got much better within a few days. To the extent that she was asking for daddy, not mommy. It broke my heart but honestly I was starting to resent breastfeeding and I firmly believe that both mom and baby needs to be happy in the relationship. I did continue to nurse her a lot during the day.

Good luck! I hope things will get better soon!

[Rachels]

A friend of mine calls it the No Sleep Cry Solution. :) From what I gather, it can take a while. I hear you on the frustration of the night nursing. Some of the NCSS stuff has worked for us, and other parts haven't. FWIW, I've found that anytime Abigail goes through an overwhelming stretch of night nursing, it's followed by the eruption of a tooth or the diagnosis of an ear infection. There's always a reason, but that doesn't always stop me from feeling a little homicidal at four in the morning.

If you're interested in no-cry kinds of approaches, you might check www.drjaygordon.com. His stuff is recommended for babies at least 12 months old, but he has a pretty gentle nightweaning program.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Karenn]

LOL at the "No Sleep Cry Solution!" Unfortunately, that was our experience too. A lot of the methods in this book really irritated Colin. However, he was MUCH younger than Martie when we tried it and I've heard that it works better with older babies.

If I remember right, the author's premise is that if your baby knows how to fall asleep on her own (without nursing) then returning to sleep will inevitably follow. So I think most of her methods are directed at learning how to fall asleep in general, with the assumption that there is no difference between going to sleep initially, and returning to sleep. Again, this turned out not to be the case with Colin. Falling asleep and returning to sleep were two very different things to him.

Still, if you can't take the crying (and I totally empathize!) then it might be worth a try- it DOES work for some people. Good luck!

[kristine_elen]

I used it and was surprised that it worked. I think it took less than a week. I am really not a fan of letting babies cry.

[Imperia]

I just bought this book a few days ago because

1) I refuse to let my child CIO I think that is unacceptabel and cruel
2) She wasn't falling asleep unless I held her pretty much
3) someone on this board reccomended it to me

I have already decided I am not sur eI am even going to use this book (at least not yet) because it keeps telling me how I have to put her down while she is awake and she will "learn to go to sleep". Well, I have tried that from the beginning and guess what--it doesn't work AT ALL (at least with us). Granted my situation is completely different as my child is very young yet.

I know to break the habit of "night nursing" she talks about removing the sucking object (in this case you!) when the child is almost asleep. If they fuss you hold their mouth closed (I found this a little creepy) and soothe them. If they still fuss you give the nipple back, let them suck for a minute, remove...wash, rinse repeat until child stops fussing. That is an example of her techniques. I will say she seems to use (in most cases ) sort of Pavlovian techniques to "train" the baby/child away from their current sleep habits. This is fine, but by it's very nature it will take time to foster new habits.


I will say there do seem to be some positive ideas in the book things such as:

-using a routine
-white noise or music as a sleep "cue"
-introducing a transitional object (ie "lovey")

these to me seem gentle and that they would probably work over time. I also like the fact that the author says you should only use the portions of the book which work for you and your child. So I say try it out, but realize it will probably take awhile to work, the author actually states you need to try things for at least 10 days before being certain they won't work for you. I am not sure there is a "quick fix" (unfortunately) for these types of issues.

Imperia

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one. Martie knows how to fall asleep on her own. She has another sucking object besides the boob which is her thumb. That's how she used to be able to sleep through the night. I've tried soothing her by holding and not giving her the boob and she's ok until I put her in the crib. Then she screams. If DH goes up there and not me she screams. I've tried to wean amount of time nursing starting at 30 second (that's all I used to have to give her to go back to sleep) well after 25 seconds she starts to scream. Last night she was crying no matter what until I brought her into bed with me to nurse. After kicking me several times and putting her hand up my nose a billion times I had DH bring her back to her crib. She screamed again. Maybe I should invest in ear plugs.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[houseof3boys]

Hey. There is a yahoo group for this book (in case you didn't know) that you might want to check out since ALL of those people have tried the "method" and would probably be more helpful.

I am rereading the book now and am doing nothing except the sleep log again since we are also having probs again with going back to sleep. Like Martie, Ryan is a champ at going to sleep at night but the 3 am, 4 am and 6 am wakings are killing us. DH goes in if it is before 4 am to soothe with a tummy rub or paci so that me i.e. the milk truck is not there to tempt him to nurse! After 4, I figured he is hungry so I don't mind feeding him then.

I hear your frustration Frick and hope it gets better! :)

[nat12]

I was thinking of posting about this exact thing too. Today is day 7 since I started using some of the methods. Ds wakes up about 6 times throughout the night and will only fall asleep if I nurse him. I'm a very tired mommy these days and I really hope this book works for me. So far I'm using the gentle removal method and trying to introduce key words while he's falling asleep (although sometimes he doesn't end up falling asleep so I wonder if what I'm doing is futile). I haven't had much success yet, and sometimes I'm too exhausted in the middle of the night to bother. However, I've also tried to follow a better bedtime routine and I do believe his bedtime has become more consistent at a decent 7:30. That's something, at least. I also want to introduce a lovey soon, ds hasn't become attached to anything yet and most of his stuffed animals were gifts and aren't appropriate (they have button eyes or aren't firm enough) so I'll probably have to go out and buy something soon.

I find her methods are pretty common sense and some of them are even things I thought of doing before ever reading the book. But the book has helped motivate me to put these methods in practice. I'm really hoping to see an improvement at my 10 day log, if not I'll just stick with it. This HAS to work. I really want ds to learn to fall asleep on his own, and we want to start ttc #2 soon and I worry that I won't be able to wean anytime in the near future.

Pantley has a website, there are some interviews from the women in the test mommies group and their stories might help you.

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/newsletters/sleepbookann.htm

Good luck to you, and to all of us who are trying this!

Natalie
Ethan 6/14/03

[C99]

Sonia,

Omigod, I could have written this post at various times! We night-weaned Nate a few months ago by using the Burton White method, and it was always my husband who went in there; never me. It worked for awhile, but 3 ear infections and 2 weeks at the in-laws' later, we're back to screaming at 4 a.m. for over an hour. Like Rachels, usually when Nate is awake for that long, he has an ear infection and is in pain. But since he's on antibiotics and ibuprofen, part of me thinks that we need to readjust his sleep routines.

[spu]

Hi Sonia,

I bought this book and have started a few of the tips. I must admit I'm not ready to move them from our bed to their bed exculsively, but some of the tips have helped alot.

The biggest thing for me was teaching them to fall asleep without sucking on me( both initially at night, and for all of the nightwakings). They said to gently break the suction just as they start to stop nursing - you'll hear the baby's breating get into a rhythm too. It may take a few (or 10) times in a row before they will roll over and stay asleep. This helped me get to sleep faster. It didn't necessarily help them fall back asleep from any of their nightwakings, but it did help me get them back to sleep faster each time. Sleeping with me makes it a little easier because they never fully wake. Having my DH go in and try to sooth them is just plain silly in our house - it just would never work. My babies are at an age where when they want mama, they want mama!

I do think when I'm ready I'll try some of the ideas in the book more thoroughly. I like her tone and it seems to make sense. Also, I believe when each baby is ready, the sleep without waking at night will happen in their own time.


susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte + else

http://sunger2.home.comcast.net/bash/nonflash/year.html

[zen_bliss]

i'm not suffering too much (yet) but there will be a day when i want to wake up without having one boob mauled most of the night. so i just read the book on a trip and found it welcome. sounds like it would be worth a read for you. it is not meant to be a quick fix (a month or two is what i think she suggests), but i did see immediate improvement right after i started using some of the techniques. (some i'd thought of, some were doh! of course! why didn't i think of that!) still, forget daddy or a lovey, nothing soothes like the boob. on the up side, the nighttime nibbling has definitely decreased.

then, two things happened: mommy brain short term memory, and we came home and *I* fell into my lazy habits. i really should continue to keep a log to remind/discipline me out of my own unhelpful tendencies.

someone above posted that you are supposed to hold the babe's mouth shut, which is not accurate (that WOULD be creepy, no thanks)-- the author suggests putting your finger under their lower lip as a way of placing counterpressure as a distraction when you slide the babe off the nip. works sometimes, sometimes not...

what is the yahoo group? i'd be interested in checking in over there.

[Melanie]

It's not an instant-sleep-training type of book. It helped us A LOT, but no, our son didn't start sleeping through the night b/c of it. It gave me some good tips and reduced our night-wakings from EIGHT to Three (and less now). I think it helped me a lot with putting my expectations more in line with what was realistic and not what the next CIO-parent will tell you what your child SHOULD be doing.

You will have to do a little bit of back-tracking to reassure her after the CIO attempts, but I really do recommend making time to read this.

Another thing that always helps me is when I try to put myself in our son's place. Remember, they know nothing of the world that we live in, until we show it to them.

[sntm]

we still don't use it consistently but we always see some improvement within a few days, usually decreasing the number of night wakings (including the random night where there are none). i'm not opposed to nursing back to sleep, though, since I think whatever works, works.

i like the philosophy of the book, though. you pick what things work for you. she reminds you not to have unrealistic expectations -- your baby will have good sleep nights and bad sleep nights, learning to sleep is a learning process, babies are not designed to sleep all night in opposition to popular wisdom. i think part of dealing with night wakings is to accept that they will happen, whether you BF or not and whether you CIO or not. if you read Weissbluth, how many of the little anecdotes involve the parents making the baby CIO again and again (after teething, after vacations, etc.)?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[houseof3boys]

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NoCrySleep2/