mean comment from manager at Baby Gap...

[spu]

Maybe I'm overreacting, or being too sensitive... but we were in Baby Gap (a daily routine) and found these great pants for the twins. I wanted to try them on Charlotte since she's lighter than Else, just to make sure they wouldn't fall down. When I took her pants off, the manager who was helping us said "Oh my God..." and commented about her skinniness... At the time, I didn't think much of it, but now I'm kind of pissed and a little depressed. How would you feel? Would you say anything or do anything? I know I'm feeding her well. She nurses often, eats lots of high-fat healthy foods (avocado, smoothies, etc.) I don't really want to say anything at the actual store since we're always in there, but I might complain to corporate.. How would you handle this, if at all? I can only liken it to calling a child "fat"... I guess I'm just wanting to stick up for my little stringbean!


susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte + else

http://sunger2.home.comcast.net/bash/nonflash/year.html

[mamahill]

I would have said one of the following:

"Yeah, their metabolisms are amazing. Don't you wish you had that?"

or

"Working in a kids store, you must see all types. But then, to make rude and unthinking comment, you probably haven't been working that long, right?"

Try not to get you down. Somebody's kids have to set the lower bar for the average. I'm just glad Ainsleigh is in good company:).

[August Mom]

Sorry about that manager and that the comment upset you. I get comments like that about DS too. It used to really bother me because I was concerned about his size already. But, now I know he's just small. He's obviously healthy. It's just how his body is. But, a lot of times I think other people don't realize it. And, I don't think that people realize that a comment like that can really hurt the parent. However, personally, I probably wouldn't report it to corporate and just brush it off to the manager's ignorance. You know that Charlotte is healthy. She's just small. Period. Don't let it get you down.

[emmiem]

I am a very petite 3 year old. I got a comment from another teacher at PDO. She said to me and my DD, "My, doesn't she ever grow?". So, I know exactly what you are thinking. Don't let it bother you. Your child has his own body type and metabolism and we can't change that.
Michele

[pritchettzoo]

I would complain. The manager should be sensitive to children of *all* body types. Not only are your feelings a concern, your children's feelings are a concern--they're old enough now to pick up on negativity. She shouldn't be a manager if she doesn't have the maturity or common courtesy to keep her mouth shut about physical appearance. Think of children with scars, birthmarks, burns... No child needs to be criticized and no parent needs to hear criticism from anyone, much less the ignorant manager of the freaking Baby Gap. If nothing else, it's not good business sense in a clothing store!

I'm sorry you ran into such a twerp. Your little girls look absolutely adorable in their avatar. Look at those rosy sweet cheeks!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[JLiebCamm]

I would bet that the manager has no children of her own and no understanding of what this would mean to a mother. I know that I'm horrified when I think of the things I asked other mothers before I was pregnant myself (My favorite being, "Are you sure you're not having twins?" to very pregnant friends). So don't take offense. You daughter sounds quite healthy. But the manager may need to learn that she needs to be less judgmental to enhance her own managerial skills!

[JenCA]

I, too, am sensitive to comments such as the one you received, since I have a sweet DD who is bigger than most babies her age (90% for height, 75% for weight). If I had a dime for every time I've heard, "WOW--she's huge!", I'd be a very wealthy woman, lol. I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you too much. Most people don't have bad intentions when they make those kinds of comments--they just lack the cerebral mechanism that makes them think before they speak. ;)

[wearing pjs]

i've got a string bean, too. i almost feel like i have to defend myself (and him) when people comment on his size. but you know what? who cares!?! some people are big, some people are small. i'm betting that she didn't think it was an insult - i wonder if she would have said something about a really, really fat kid? i doubt it.



expecting second boy in june.....and nothing fits but good ol' pjs.....

[brigmaman]

So sorry this happened. My ds is about the same age as Else and Charlotte, but he always gets the opposite reaction- "Wow, he's a BIG boy!" or "What are you feeding him?" Mostly I think people are just trying to make conversation. Unfortunately sometimes they make ignorant statements and don't even realize it.
My favorites are, "He's almost as big as you!" and "Wow, his father must be a big guy." Well, not really, he's only 5'10" and pretty fit! Hmmm... should I wonder where my freakishly big baby come from!! Yup, that one came from a nurse at the ped's office.
The manager may be, as a pp pointed out, just inexperienced with children and ignorant as to what is and isn't appropriate (or normal with regard to the way babies look in reality!)
I remember thinking (pre-baby and in college as a Gap girl) that women should NOT breastfeed in the store. I clearly remember thinking that. Now as a mother, I've nursed everywhere from restaurants to stores to... well...my point is she was obviously just ignorant!!

[pamela mom of 3]

Oh i have gotten that one tossed at me for years, my girls have always been on the thin/tiny side...

I think in most cases it does fall under the think before we speak group, most are not meaning any genuine harm.

Where i think i am sick of it is when they actually say it to my eldest, ah, she's 8 in a week she does NOT need to hear how small she is lol :P

Of coarse i am small framed too and also heard it most of my life x(

Sorry i have no real suggestions, i have always answered well you know the old saying about nice things coming in small packages and pretty much at this point i have learned to ignore it, you know think of the source. :)



~Pamela Mom Of 3

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/blobflower.gif

[Rachels]

Oopd! Guess I'll have to shop somewhere else! That's appalling, Susan. Charlotte is just gorgeous, and that clod of a manager should be ashamed of herself.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[jamsmu]

Random comments like those are so frustrating. I never know how to respond! Mostly, people will look at ds and say, "My! He sure is well-fed!" The crazy part is that he is about 48% on the height scale and 35% on the weight!!!! So he's underweight! I also used to get lots of people guessing his age... "Let me guess, 7 months!" they say proudly. "Ummm... good try... but 4," I would respond. "My oh my! You sure do feed him well!"

UGGGHHHH You would think that people would learn to just say "how cute!"

[cinrein]

Susan, I'm sorry that happened to you and your girls. I agree with the others, that manager was out of line.

I probably wouldn't complain to corporate. I guess what I would do is prepare myself with a good answer in case it happens again. I would be so upset if someone said that in front of my daughter regardless of her age. It seems like girls are becoming obsessed about their bodies earlier and earlier and comments like that don't help. I'd want to be prepared to defend my daughter and "educate" the manager straight. I think you could do it in such a way as to not jeopardize your shopping relationship.

I bet the ladies here can come up with some great nice, but not really, retorts!

Cindy and Anna 2/11/03

[shishamo]

Susan, I'm so sorry that happened to you! People are always making rude comments like that. My girl is the other end of the spectrum (75% both height and weight, but she used to be off the charts for both), and I had people say crazy things like "poor thing, she's going to have trouble when she grows up (controling her weight)"....and she's not even two!

I would complain to the corporate. Maybe write a letter to the store if you are up to it?

[McQ]

Honestly, I would just blow this off. Or have made a wise crack back. I'm sure the manager didn't mean anything by it. It just falls into the things people say without thinking about other people's feelings. People spurt out all kinds of things just to make conversation that they really don't mean anything by. I'm sure the manager didn't mean to offend you. I'm sure if her legs were chubby there would have been a comment too. IMHO, I think we either need to have thicker skin or a quick wit.

Just last week when I was changing Declan at a friends house and he rolled off the changing pad and tried to run around naked, my friend commented on how skinny he was. Then also last week I was showing a friend a naked picture of him standing at the tub (from behind) and that friend made a comment on how chubby he was. I didn't think anything of either comment.

I'm sorry this is bothering you, but I honestly wouldn't let it worry you. You have 2 beautiful, happy girls.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03