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lizajane
03-15-2004, 08:16 PM
we get obnoxious looks when we say that we are ready for number two!!
i think having kids 2 years apart is pretty darn normal. but everyone has to say junk like, "already?" or "you sure are brave" or "let me know how THAT goes."

and i can't tell you how many people told me BEFORE i had him that i would change my mind about wanting two kids after i had one. like i was some kind of idiot and these folks with one kid were some kind of baby decision geniuses. well, so sorry that YOU can't handle it. but i have a great kid and a great spouse and we can't wait for another.

TaChapm2
03-15-2004, 08:46 PM
I totally agree! I was ready to have another baby right after having Jackson. If we had been able to get pregnant the month after we would have. We got so many strange looks when people found out that we weren't using any birth control (not that we needed it). I think that having our children close in age will benefit us all. Jackson will have a playmate and we are already sleep deprived so why not just add to the craziness. We love our life and think that out happiness will just be multiplied with the addition of another baby. I do understand that some people are just not up for it and are happy with just one but I don't feel like I would be complete if we didn't add to our family in one way or another. We are going in to have our frozen embryos implanted next Monday so hopefully we will be adding to our family very soon. That would have Jackson being 2 yrs and 1 month. I don't think this is too close, but many people disagree. Oh well, we are happy about it.

Tara
Mommy to Jackson (11-10-02)

Calmegja2
03-15-2004, 08:51 PM
Me, too. That's exactly how we felt.

Perhaps that's how we ended up with 4... ;-)

Rachels
03-15-2004, 08:52 PM
I know what you mean! I am not quite ready for a second baby, but I'm definitely getting some baby ache. The comments you name here are so insulting, because they suggest that mothers just have no ability to reasonably assess what they're getting themselves into. Um, I have a child, thanks, I think I'm vaguely familiar with what mothering is like.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

NEVE and TRISTAN
03-15-2004, 08:54 PM
OH I hear it too...but in this case I honestly think a lot of it is just "conversation"...I too think 2 years is very normal...

As we know I wish I could have mine even closer in age!!!
...and Liza I KNOW you could handle it...(and then some) :)...

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

momathome
03-15-2004, 09:17 PM
Oh, man, are we getting this right now! Only with us, it is for going from 2 to 3, especially since we are now having ferility issues. One "friend" flat-out said to me "why are you bothering to go through fertilty treatments, particularly since you already have 2. Can't you just be happy with the girls???" Of course I am happy with the girls - this has nothing to do with my desire to have another, even though it is proving to be hard work!
-Lauren

jesseandgrace
03-15-2004, 09:27 PM
I think people are always wondering what the best space between kids is - the best answer I read is that the best space is what is best for you and your family. There is no right answer. I definitely was not ready to have # 2 until we decided to (they are about two years and nine months apart - both conceived on the first try without birth control so we are careful). As for # 3, we are considering much sooner because I think we will be ready sooner and because I will be 35 this summer so for me I wouldn't want to wait much longer. My sister decided to only have one and she gets questioned on when she will have another all the time. On the other hand, my DS is very high energy and dd is very attached to my hip so I know people will think we are crazy if we decide on a third. But, only we know what is best for our family and I kind of like the idea of one more and I know dh and ds do too.

nathansmom
03-15-2004, 09:32 PM
Well if I had my wish I'd have 6 kids but thats not going to happen. I really wanted Nathan to have a really close sibling. But I totally know where your feelings are coming from.

shishamo
03-15-2004, 09:37 PM
I think people are going to say whatever they want to say no matter how many you have. I remember all those "so, when are you going to start trying?" comments, followed by "when are you going to try for another one?" comments, followed by "Wow, you have a boy and a girl, now you are all set!" (I'm so peeved by this one BTW: what's wrong with boy/boy and girl/girl!) I haven't gotten obnoxious one yet for my #3, but my friend who is also pregnant with #3 told me of people telling her, "why are you having a third one? You already have two!"
Sigh.

brubeck
03-15-2004, 09:38 PM
Well you can see from the ages of my kids that I agree with you on the spacing! I think the problem with people is that they look at your 14 or 15 month old baby and imagine the new baby arriving NOW. They can't see the 2 year old toddler your child will be when #2 arrives.

Not that this makes their comments right, but it may be where they are coming from.

g-mama
03-15-2004, 09:59 PM
I don't know why people feel they have the right to voice their opinion on such personal issues. We've told a few friends that we plan on ttc #3 this summer and they look at us like we're nuts. Our second is only 6 months old, and yes, that does scare me a bit, but I am 34 and don't want to wait much longer. And I also feel like I want to get the baby years behind me (I love them, but they're quite challenging!) and then move on from there. I think 2 years is a very "normal" time frame.

Kristen

Paolo 11-21-00
Benjamin 8-21-03

MelissaTC
03-15-2004, 11:34 PM
I had people tell me that I wouldn't want another one after I had Matthew. I can understand why they said that somedays as we closely approach Matthew being 2. But the challenges of toddlerhood don't stop our desire to have children.

My MIL would tell me that I was "so young" to be having kids. And on who's timeline is that? Most people get married and after a few years, have kids. THANK GOD we started trying when we did. Imagine me waiting until I was into my 30's only to learn that I have problems! What would she have said to me then?

I guess this belongs in the bitching post...sorry...

I agree with what Neve said in that I think a lot of people just say dopey things out of trying to make conversation. I even said something dopey myself, like I could never imagine having a newborn right now with Matthew being in the full throws of toddlerhood...LOL. DUH. The truth of the matter is, I would gladly go crazy with a house full of kids. I love having my son and hope that we are blessed with more, be that natural or adopted children.

MamaKath
03-16-2004, 12:09 AM
>followed by "Wow,
>you have a boy and a girl, now you are all set!" (I'm so
>peeved by this one BTW: what's wrong with boy/boy and
>girl/girl!) I haven't gotten obnoxious one yet for my #3, but
>my friend who is also pregnant with #3 told me of people
>telling her, "why are you having a third one? You already have
>two!"

I know everyone is telling me that I have a "matched set" (g/b), why would I want more? I love my two so much, I would love to have a third! I wonder if I'd ever leave the house alone with them, if I'd ever be done wiping tushies, or go to the bathroom alone again, but people also always say you won't know until too late that you should have had another! Now I just remind folks that after this its all "gravy"! ;-)

My kids may not have as much, our vacations will not be as great, they may end up working for scholarships, etc. but they will always know that they have each other and how important that is to us and them! They (and any other blessings that head our way ;-))will be fully and completely loved!!

sbirmantaz
03-17-2004, 08:23 AM
I agree! That is a great way to put it! I wanted 4 kids originally and reading your post makes me want them again! I have a 4 month old and an 18 month old, and the 1st 4 months have been extremely difficult. Now though, things are starting to run smoother. They will have a built in playmate growing up (something I wish I had had). If we do have more I will wait a few years, probably a 3 year spacing so that I can enjoy the newborn phase again and not be so burnt out... Anyone with 3 or 4 want to share their thoughts on how it changes your life from having 2?

ddmarsh
03-17-2004, 09:57 AM
Having more children is IMO not really terribly difficult. People picture it with 1 or 2 and think it is *soooo* :) many but it really isn't hard b/c you just adjust to the work, etc. as each one comes along. What gets more difficult is when they get older and the homework and activities comes into play - that really makes things hectic but it is still terrific. Not only am I crazy about them all but I am just as crazy about seeing them with one another - it's truly one of the best things about having more children.