How did you break night wakings?

[Jen in Chicago]

Me again with sleep problems- UGH!

We were in a good groove, 1 waking a night. Last week he got the flu and started getting a molar, and since then the sleeping has gone DOWNHILL FAST!

We sort of follow Weissbluth (2 naps (at daycare) and early bedtime.) After the last 2 nights I am strongly considering a consultation with him. I am thinking I would be a better enforcer if I met with him. I have not requested to meet with him before b/c I have not been willing to be a strong enforcer. I am starting to question everything I do regarding Jude's sleeping. Here are our unofficial houserules:
Bedtime routine starts around 6:30/6:45 (hard for a working Mom)
PJ's, diaper change, 3 books and a bottle
He'll fall asleep with the bottle
Crib
From this point on- only change a diaper if it has leaked and Mommy and Daddy are no fun and don't play (we barely talk)!!! We don't leave the room, and we don't turn on the lights

2.5-3 hours later for the rest of the night wakings, then up between 5 and 6 (I have learned earlier to bed, later to wake is the reality for Jude.) The later he wakes the happier he is when he wakes.

Last night he was up at 10, 11:30/12 something until almost 2, 4 then up for the day at 6:05. At 10 he drank 7 oz, and the rest only 2-3 oz. The long time I tried no bottle and let him CIO for 30 minutes. When I came back in he started jumping and wanted to play. We rocked and rocked and he squirmed/snuggled/cried/coo'ed... when I would think he was asleep I would put him in his crib and he INSTANTLY would wake up. Sometimes I could keep him in there and rub his back, but eventually we would end up back in the rocking chair again.

DH is traveling, so it is just me. We no longer nurse.

Any advise would be appreciated. Getting him down at night the first time is not a problem, but the later times are a problem.

I forgot to mention, before being sick last week he and the other May 2003 babies at daycare were on a No Morning Nap Strike, and he would take a 2-2.5 hour afternoon nap. Since being sick he is taking a .75-1.5 hour am nap, and a 2-3 hr afternoon nap. I am wondering if I should ask daycare to limit his afternoon nap.

[cinrein]

Well, we read Weisbluth but did not really follow it. We try to follow the suggested schedule, but didn't CIO at night. I think his information is pretty good, but honestly I think he must have been on crack when wrote that babies don't wake up with teething. Anna sure did/does. The reason I know this is because if I give her Motrin, she doesn't wake up. No Motrin, she wakes up!

Anna has gone through "spells" of the behavior you describe. I think what causes the sleep disruptions for us are teething or working on a developmental milestone. Being sick also will cause sleep disruptions. When she wakes up at night, we'll let her fuss a bit to see if she'll settle back down. We wait about 5-10 minutes, but this depends on your child and you. Sometimes she'll go back to sleep. If not one of us will go in and tell her it's time to sleep. I may briefly pick her up and pat her back, but then I'll put her back in her crib and rub her back a bit. Then I'll sit in the chair in her room until she's asleep. Usually she's alseep again in a few minutes, but sometimes she's in her crib playing a long time before she finally goes to sleep again. Our chair is comfy, so I usually just curl up with a pillow and sleep myself. I would love to be able to leave the room, but she screams bloody murder if I do.

Not sure if this helps you at all, but that's what we do. Hang in there, it does get better.

Cindy and Anna 2/11/03

[Jen in Chicago]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I marked his problems from Sept-New Years as teething (8 teeth during that time.) Recently the problems I think started with the flu and teething (molar). In between things were getting better. For a while he was drinking like a FISH during the night, so I thought he was hungry. Now once a night he polishes off 6-8 oz, the other times he can barely make a dent in a bottle.

I printed out a sleep log and are going to closely monitor things the next few days. I have given the neigbors within possible ear range the heads up that Jude may be crying more at night, and we are not abusing/neglecting him. The question is will I be strong enough the next few nights to allow more crying?

[Sarah1]

Jen,

I know not everyone is comfortable with the role of "enforcer" as you call it, but I am the sleep enforcer in our household! I know this style doesn't work for everyone, but it's worked really well for us so far (we basically follow Weissbluth too).

Audrey's been sleeping through the night since about 6 1/2 mos. Long story short, basically, we did CIO (which luckily for us was not too long the first night--just a little more than 1 hour) and she was sleeping through the night three days later. During that first month she would occasionally wake up crying, but it was never for that long, and we wanted this to stick, so we were really tough about not going in. Ever since then, she has slept through the night very predictably, even when teething (again, I think we've been lucky, although when I know she's teething I give her motrin before bed).

Since then, we've instituted a "15 minute rule" at night. If she wakes up crying (which hardly ever happens), we only go in if the crying lasts more than 15 minutes. Only once or twice has it lasted beyond five minutes or so. She's learned to fall back asleep on her own, which is really important to DH and me, since we value our sleep above most other things! Obviously, if she's sick, or in pain, we can tell and will go in and comfort her immediately.

If you think Jude is waking up out of habit, it's probably a good idea for you to stop reinforcing the night wakings. He should learn sooner rather than later that nighttime isn't time for playing. I know it's hard...but this was one area where I felt like being strict would pay major dividends later on. Even though the inconsistent napping could be a factor in the night wakings, I don't think they're the reason, and if you really do want the night wakings to stop, then you probably will need to be tougher. I know a lot of people on the boards do not like this approach, and it doesn't work for every baby, but it's worked for us.

[lukkykatt]

Jen, this probably isn't what you want to hear but...it has taken DS a long time to consistently sleep through the night. He was well over a year before that happened.

I followed Weissbluth for putting him in bed, but I did not allow open ended crying at night. DS would cry for far too long for me to not go to him at night. Once I realized that, I would go to his room if he cried for more than a few minutes (which was almost always). Eventually, he did start sleeping through the night. BUT, for the most part, he only woke up once during the night.

Usually I would go in and nurse him (while we were still nursing) and/or rock him. If after he was comforted he was still awake, I just followed an abbreviated form of our regular bedtime routine and then put him back in his crib awake, and he was fine with that.

I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck!

[C99]

We went through a rash of night wakings as well. What I did was to follow Burton White's suggestion (as posted by Beth, egoldber) of just opening the door, telling him that it was time to go to sleep and then shutting the door. We had my husband do this at first because if he saw/heard me, he'd go beserk (we're still BFing). When we first start doing this, he would cry for up to an hour during the first waking and less time w/ subsequent wakings. It took him about a week to figure out how to put himself back to sleep w/ little or no crying. If he wakes up and cries now, I will tell him to go back to sleep and he usually does w/in 5 minutes. Once the pattern was established, if he cries for more than 20 minutes or wakes up within a few minutes of going back down, he is sick or teething or has an ear infection.

HTH