WWYD? Whose is it?

[jojo2324]

Some background: My parents married and bought an ashtray, a very (I think) nice ashtray. My parents divorced. My father remarried, and the ashtray followed him to his second wife. They divorced. I am *very* close to my former stepmom - I talk to her all the time, refer to her as my mother, we have a business together, I live 10 minutes from her and my half siblings. She has the ashtray now.

I kinda want it because a) I like it and b) it reminds me of my childhood.

What should I do? Is it hers? Does she have more claim to it because she had to (hardy har har) deal with my dad for several years? Or do I, since it was my parents' initially? My stepmom also runs a B&B, and the ashtray is in one of the guest rooms as a decorative piece - not in the main house. Should I just ask? I feel really awkward about it. If I asked and she said no, I'd be po'd.

[Marisa6826]

Since you have a such a good relationship with her, I'd just ask her for it.

She probably wouldn't give it a second thought.

-m

PS- you can always ask for it as a Mother's Day gift ;)

[RwnMayfair]

I'd just go ahead and ask. You're close to her, so it's not like it would be exceptionally odd. And, it never hurts to ask. :) I dunno, if it was me, I'd ask. (I'd feel exceptionally nervous about it, but I would eventually manage to work myself up to asking. ::grin::)

-Melissa

Taran Reed - Nov, 20, 2003

[COElizabeth]

If your parents agreed your dad should have it, and then your dad gave it to your step-mother, then I think it's hers, but I definitely think you should ask if she would mind giving it to you. If she has it in a guest room in the B&B, she probably doesn't feel all that sentimental about it. You can just ask if she is particularly attached to it, and if not, if she would mind giving it to you since you like it and it reminds you of your childhood. I like the idea of asking for it as a special gift for Mother's Day or your birthday or something. If you ask for it just "because," you could offer to buy her a little something to take its place in the guest room.

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02
EDD #2, 10-30-04

[pritchettzoo]

Just steal it. You can always blame it on a guest...

If you told her why you wanted it, I can't imagine her saying no. And if she does, there's always Plan A... :P You could offer to replace it with another ashtray if it's used as such in the guest room.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[mharling]

I would definitely ask. I can't imagine that she's holding onto it for sentimental reasons if it's in a guest room. I would guess there's a good chance that she doesn't realize the sentimental value it has for you. I would however, figure out how you would respond/what you would say if she did say no (but from what you've described, I think that's pretty unlikely).

Mary
Lane 4/6/03

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I'd ask...I'd tell her why ti might be of interest to you, maybe as a child you thought it was the prettiest thing on earth or something...I'm sure she'd be thrilled to give you it if that the case....

Yes ask!!!!...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[urquie]

i'd ask and offer to replace it with another nice one for her guest room.