Post-partum room-sharing stories wanted!!

[Judegirl]

Both my hospital options charge $300 a day for a private room, which insurance doesn't cover. That's ridiculous. BUT...otherwise, how much rest will I really get?

Some of the rooms have 4 beds. As it is, I sleep during the day and am awake during the night (and baby is used to my schedule already!) I'll be needing to recover from a C-section (and a very difficult pregnancy), and I'm afraid that between other peoples' visitors and crying babies and ringing telephones, I'll go out of my mind.

Not to mention the fact that I'd like my husband to stay with me through the night, which he cannot do unless we have a private room.

Am I being naive? Is this a big waste of money? Any room-sharing horror stories? I don't want to be asked to explain to a roommate why I had a C/S, why I'm EPing, why I picked that name...whatever. I suspect I'll just want to sleep and look at the baby when I stir, knowing DH is taking care of him/her.

Any opinions?

Thank you,
Jude

[mamicka]

I didn't share a room so I can't speak to that directly. I did have a c/s & I would be really leary of sharing a room while recovering. I also wouldn't want to be sans DH. He went home one night so that he could rest & help me better the next day & while that was a good thing in the end, I wouldn't have wanted him gone every night.

Allison

[jbowman]

Honestly I think the extra $$$ for the private room would be money well spent. I had a private room and I can't imagine doing it any differently. I didn't have a c-section, but appreciated the privacy during my recovery. I also liked that DH stayed with me at night in the hospital, and that Ellie "roomed in" with us.

You might want to go the hospital and take a look at the rooms before deciding. We took a tour of the hospital during childbirth class and it helped us visualize the experience better, if that makes sense. HTH!

[Sarah1]

I had a private room and cannot IMAGINE having to share one. I think it's well worth the extra $$, if you can afford it.

[momathome]

I had to share a room when I had Liza and it was terrible. After giving birth at 6am and dealing with a stream of well wishers and phone calls throughout the day, I was exhausted that night. At 2am, a woman moved into my room with her dh and newborn and they were very chatty and I felt like I had to work my butt off to keep Liza quiet so as not to disturb them - more pressure than I could take for a first-time mom experience! I had a private room when I had Kasey and it was so much better - I really felt like I could relax and it was much easier when visitors stopped by and for those early nursing sessions. If you have the money, go for it!
-Lauren

[JenCA]

Spend the money and get a private room. I had to share a room after giving birth to my daughter, and it was a horrible experience. :(

[todzwife]

ITA, If we had had the choice I would have paid for a private room too. :)

[flagger]

From someone who has worked in a hospital, it may be possible for you to get a private room and not pay for it. If you can be placed in a private room because of hospital needs, or medical necessity it may be possible to not pay for it.

I wish you luck.

[etwahl]

my dd was born in a military hospital, so i didn't have a choice (although next baby i am going to look into a birthing center). at our hospital in san diego, they said that they rarely ever had to have more than 2 in a room (although there was 4 bed per room) but they said only on one occasion did they have 2 per room.

well when i had dd, i moved into the room all by myself. great. except that late that night (like 3 am) they moved someone else in. i was there 48 hours total (won't do that again either). first problem, they were LOUD. second problem, who wants to share a bathroom when you're bleeding all over the place (sorry for tmi but it's true).

the next day they had a burst of babies (it was friday the 13th) and the room ended up having 4 couples in there. i almost died. it was horrible. i thought sharing the bathroom with 1 other person was horrible. well try it with 3 and you're looking at lines and waiting. never mind the bathroom was tiny. every time i had to go to the bathroom, i had to then schlep my stuff with me.

OH, and the first came in, she was a young (maybe 18) girl, married to a young enlisted guy. he was in iraq also, and she was there with her mom. well all i can say is the conversations overhead were not fit to repeat here. although there was a moment where i was crying (hormones, crying baby, you know the deal) when a conversation literally made soda come out my nose. so there was some comedy relief.

BUT NO, GO FOR THE PRIVATE ROOM!!!!

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[stillplayswithbarbies]

spend the money for the private room. I wish that had been an option where I gave birth. The only bad things about my delivery have to do with having to share a room. (all the rooms were full the night I delivered, so there was no option for a private room, and they did not offer private rooms for extra money or I would have done it.)

I had the bed nearest the door, the other lady was by the window. So all our pictures are dim and dark and we don't have one good picture of the first days of Logan's life. Her whole family came in every day and brought her dinner and they all ate together. Picture a noisy family dinner, in another language, all carried out in half a hospital room. And everything smelled like garlic. It wouldn't have been so bad if I had been in the other side, but they all had to walk through my area to get to her. And then back again to go to the bathroom, which I was also trying to get to, in my hospital gown, dripping blood all over. I finally decided that I didn't care if her husband, brother, sister and all her kids saw my naked behind, that was their problem not mine.

And then I had to listen to every doctor and nurse come in and speak to her in English and ask her questions which she would reply "yes" to. One time I almost spoke up because I knew she didn't understand the question, based on what I had heard her husband (who did speak English) say to the doctor. And why do the doctors and nurses speak louder when they realize she didn't understand English? It was all very stressful for me, hormonal and exhausted, to have to worry that this woman was going to have something done to her she didn't want just because they didn't realize she didn't understand them.

Get the private room.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[papal]

Jude, unless you have done so already, you might want to find out what kind of rooms your hospital has. Even though the form we had to fill out had options for Private and Semi-Private, ALL the rooms were private rooms. That might be the case for you. With my family, I cannot imagine NOT having a private room.. we had so many visitors and also dh did not want to spend a minute away from dd.. so he was staying in the hospital the whole time too.

[Jeanmick]

Another vote for the private room if you can get it. With my first, I was with Kaiser Permanente, so I didn't really have a choice in what hospital we had. The only rooms they had were semi-private (two to a room). I was fortunate to have a room all to myself the first night, but on the second night, a woman checked in around midnight with her little one. I HATED IT! I didn't like sharing a bathroom (A BIG DEAL FOR ME AS WELL) and just didn't feel comfortable having strangers in close proximity...the curtain between us just didn't cut it for me. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

For my second, the hospital we used only had private rooms for our use (one of the major reasons why we chose them) and I LOVED IT! It felt very comfortable. It was nice knowing that you and your baby weren't going to disturb anyone (and visa versa) and that you can walk around the room without having to be discreet. And I had the bathroom all to myself!!!

If you can afford it, go for it. It'll be money well spent for your recovery.

HTH and Best Wishes! :)

[Judegirl]

Yikes! I'm convinced - that's about what I expected, but I thought I'd be responsible and double-check.

Get this, though - one of the hospitals charges $300 a day and you STILL have to share a bathroom - with 3 other women!!! That's a BIG factor in choosing the other hospital!

Off to a tour tonight, then...wish me luck! Thanks, everyone, for the advice.

What an expense, though - I hope I get out of there in under 3 days!

:)
Jude

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

With the exception of military hospitals I am floored that hospitals still would haouse 4 women in a room...most have gone to totally private rooms. Marketing of hospitals has learned that you keep mama happy duirng birth that the family will more than likely continue to use that hospital.

I think that amount is a lot...my old hospital charged $150 I think...but again bithing rooms were all private.

Is this the only hospital your DR delivers at...
I would call patient relations at the hosital and double check that fee...I wonder if you complain about that fee if they will waive it some.

With that said I would spend it...and my old hospital took credit cards so if it involves that I would use that if you have to.
I think it is important to have this time with DH and baby...it is a special time and I would try to do what you can to not have to share it with others.

Good luck...and call that Patient relations!!!!!!
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[emmaandgeorge]

I delievered both kids at NYU where there were only 4 private rooms. I was willing to pay for the room, but it was impossible to get one. I got one on night 4 (i had c-sections) with DD and night 3 with DS. PRivate was SOOOOO much better. My roommate with DS not only had CONSTANT visitors, when she was alone, she SNORED! I could not get any sleep. My DS was in the NICU, so it was particularly difficult. It is a big expense, but I think it is worht the extra money.

[mamahill]

1) Spend the money and get the room - you'll be glad you did, and kicking yourself if you didn't.

2) Don't count on the baby "knowing" your schedule once it's out - LOL - all bets are off, and you'll sleep when/how you can.

3) Having DH stay in the room would be really great as well, but if you do share a room, I don't think there's a lot of time/inclination to gab with strangers. It isn't like camp ;) . But, I do think you can avoid all the annoyances/sounds by having your own room. Good luck - those 48 hours go by like that (snap) and before you know it, you're home.

Have fun!

[american_mama]

This probably isn't necessary, but if you need/want to go on a tour of a hospital you can do it on your own even without a childbirth class. My husband and I just showed up one night to do it spur of the moment. We started at the ER, and they called up to labor and delivery for us. The labor floor wasn't busy, and a really nice charge nurse showed us around. But the safer thing to do would be to call in advance. I too had to choose hospitals and had just moved into a new town, so I really wanted to see the two choices in person.

Karen

[pritchettzoo]

The $$ is potentially tax-deductible, too. If you can get one, it's worth the money.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[Judegirl]

LOL Sarah - indeed - *solemn nod* I am prepared...at least intellectually...!

[Melanie]

I didn't share a room (hospital had all privates) and I can't imagine having to do so. It was hard enough to get sleep with my newborn baby and barrage of medical people, much less that of someone else.

I will say I had a friend faced with a similiar dilemma who decided not to go private and in the end they had a baby boom that week and even if she had wanted to go private, she could not have b/c they were all full.

[skygoddess]

Get the private room!! It will be worth every penny! I've done it both ways now and will do anything to have another private room next time.

Nancy

[Marisa6826]

Pay the money!!!!

I had FIVE roommates in six days. Two of them were cool. The others were nightmares.

One of them told me that I was "interrupting her recovery" because I was trying to b/f Sophie and she was crying.

Another came in from a vag birth, and THREW A PARTY with GUESTS 10pm. It included champagne. Give me break.

It's also not quite a cakewalk to be sharing a bathroom with another bleeding woman - especially one that chooses to not dispose of her items properly - if you get the idea.


My hospital charges $500/night extra for the private rooms. We're planning on bucking up and getting it. They're first come, first served though.

Get the room !!!

-m

[suribear]

It's worth getting the room. Let me put it this way. I had a bad c/s experience with #1, and part of the reason was the fact that dh couldn't stay in the room with me as it was shared. Lots of stuff I won't go into now, but I switched health plans so I wouldn't have to go to that hospital again. That's how important it was to me, and i wish someone had told me that, especially after a c/s. Some people do fine post c/s, so don't assume you won't! However, it's good to have a private room just in case. With #2 they gave me a deluxe room, dh could stay over, and it was a much better experience overall :)

Kris

[mamicka]

I had a c/s & did really well recovering. Didn't need any pain meds at all, not even ibuprofen or tylenol, so I would say that I did fine post c/s. Still, I wouldn't have wanted a shared room. Even when you're fine, your not comfortable sacrificing privacy.

Allison (Mamicka to Lawrence 6/17/03)

[Chelsey333]

I would not want to share a bathroom after having a baby!! Your body has just been thru a lot after delivery, and the bathroom seems like it would be germy having to share. This is gross, but blood can drip on the floor and that just freaks me out. I had my own private room. 300.00 is a lot to pay, so I don't know what I would do. Bec usually you stay 2 nights, so is that 600.00 you have to fork over? If it is 300.00 I would probably do it, but 600.00 - I think I would just deal with the hassle of sharing.

[suribear]

"Didn't need any pain meds at all, not even ibuprofen or tylenol, so I would say that I did fine post c/s."

Allison, how on EARTH did you manage that???? I have to ask as I can't imagine. Even with all the meds my scar was killing me, even after the "good" c/s with #2!

Kris

[sadie427]

It was only $70/night for a private room where I was, so I don't know whether I would have spent $300, but I have to say I can't imagine not having had DH with me. I actually remember those three days as a special time, even though it wasn't fun being in the hospital and I had been thru a hard labor and emergency C/S. I emotionally really needed DH there, and didn't have to send DS to the nursery to get rest because DH could do everything except the nursing if I was tired. He also could answer the phone, get take-out, etc. Plus the bathroom got gross with just me, I can't imagine sharing!

[twinmama]

Where I delivered, private rooms weren't an option, but even so I had a great experience with a shared room. My roommate and I got along fabulously and we still keep in touch (she also had a c-section, so that helped with the whole bonding factor).

After my c-section, I didn't get out of bed for almost 36 hours, and felt too unsteady and dizzy to take a shower for another 12 hours after that, so sharing a bathroom wasn't really an issue for me. The hospital had very strict visiting rules (no DHs rooming in, no more than 2 visitors per patient at a time, no visitors period from 10PM to 8AM), so that helped a lot. My roommate didn't have her baby room in at night and I really don't remember hearing the phone ring all that often, so there weren't many interruptions because of noise.

I had so much trouble sleeping at night at end of my pregnancy, and I was still on that schedule in the hospital, so I really don't think having a private room would have changed that. I didn't have the girls room in with me at night because I could not physically bend over their basinettes to pick them up (even with all the meds, my incision site hurt too much), so I just had the nurses bring them to me from the nursery for each night time feeding.

One thing I liked about sharing a room was that nurses came in more frequently, so I always got meds, food and had help getting in and out of bed without having to call someone to come in.

I got really lucky in my situation, so I'd almost definately share a room again (of course, I'm also the world's cheapest person, so there's no way I would be able to justify spending $1200 for a private room unless I'm giving birth at the Four Seasons). Is there any loophole where you can get insurance to pay for at least part of it? We can claim things like accupuncture and band aids under the flex spending part of our insurance, so maybe you could do something like that.

Good luck with your decision and the birth of the wee one!

-Lisa

[redhookmom]

My vote is for the private room. Thankfully the hospital that I delivered in had all private rooms. The lady in the NEXT room affected my stay. She was loud and everything was effing this and effing that. She was mad at the nurses, her husband, her other kids. It would of been horrible if she was in the same room as me.

[goosey77]

I had no idea so many others dealt with the pure and utter hell of sharing a room. I wanted a private room but didn't have the choice b/c all the privates were on first come-first served, and they were all full. Not having a private room really soured the entire birth experience in a way that I never could have imagined. I had a c/s but left within 48 hours b/c I couldn't take it anymore.

A private room is priceless.

[Imperia]

My insurance would have paid for a private room, but there was a rush on babies or something because there were none to be had. I was in teh hospital for 3 days after my daughter was born because she was severely jaundiced due to ABO blood incompaibilty. I had to share with TWO different women, neither of whom spoke english, which complicated matters like the phone calls they kept getting and not being able to answer because they had both had C -sections and could not reach for it.

The second woman had a STREAM of visitors ALL day. I was so annoyed, I just wanted to be alone with my DH and my new baby. They have these ridiculous curtains which give you zero real privacy. Her visitors would be trooping in and out while I was attempting to BF my DD who was ill, and I felt very exposed. And when I was trying to sleep they were STILL coming in and out.

My DH stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital (they brought him a special roll way chairbed) but that could be different at your hospital.

If I could change only one thing about my hospital experience it would be the private room. I would have paid $500 a day out my own pocket without blinking, but there just weren't any left =(

Good luck

Imperia

[barbarhow]

Absolutely pay for the private room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If money is an option-do not forget that you can take your time to pay the bill. Hospitals just want you to be making an effort at payment. They will be perfectly happy if you pay $30. a month torwads the bill (or less for that matter). I would not think twice about it-you will think twice (at least) about it if you get the roommate from hell.)
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[Marisa6826]

Barbara-

My hospital wanted a credit card scan to bill daily for the $500 a day.

After what I went through last time, we intentionally maxxed out our flex plan account just to pay for the private room ;)

-m

[kransden]

My hospital told me I might have to share a room, but I didn't have to. Ask what the policy is. Do they make a point of doubling people up, or do they do it if they need to. Do cs people get a priority? Can you pay for the private room if/when they want to move a roomate in, or will they charge you for the whole time? Mine sort of explained it was an insurance deal. No/or poor insurance gave you a roommate. I have no idea if it was true or not. I made it abundantly clear I was uninterested in a roommate. I really needed dh there to help with the new baby. I can't imagine not having a private room.
Warning ****TMI *** Graphic *** Especially when the first time I got up after the cs the next morning and bled a quart of blood on the bathroom floor. It was not a moment I want to share with anyone but the nurse who was helping me.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[new_mommy25]

My hospital had only private rooms. All the rooms also had a fold out chair for DH's to sleep in. I can't imagine sharing a room at all. IMO I would honestly pay the $300. The night DS was born he cried for about an hour straight at around 4 in the morning. I can't imagine that anyone would have enjoyed that. Plus learning to Breast feed is HARD and I needed to have my entire chest exposed. I had no problem with the nurses and LC grabbing my boob and shoving it in DS's mouth but I know I would have felt really uncomfortable and undignified if I had an audience of other women watching me iykwim. Plus once I did finally get to sleep I would have been peeved if other women were having visiters making loud noises and disturbing my sleep. Someone mentioned a champagne party. Haha, with my hormones they probably would have heard a lot out of me.

[kijip]

All three major hospitals in my city only have private rooms..thank goodness. Sharing would have been too much for me. My baby was in the NICU and it was hard enough being on the same floor with all of the rooming in babies much less in the same room! I think that I would have paid cash money for a private room if I had to. One great way to avoid sharing is to pick a hospital from the get go that only offers private rooms. That way your insurance has to cover it...of course that is not much help in smaller cities or rural areas. Dealing with my own visitors was hard enough- I can not fathom dealing with another mother's visitors.

[parkersmama]

I am *floored* by the number of you who had to share rooms! We live in a backwards (IMO) city and have two hospitals who deliver babies and both have all private rooms. Unbelievable.

Jude, I would pay almost any amount of money to have a private room, especially after a c-section. After my c/s I could hardly get out of bed. I didn't want ds to go to the nursery, though. Dh stayed all 3 nights we were there and did everything except b-feed the baby! LOL! I don't think I changed a single diaper until we were home. I can't imagine having to deal with another woman and her family and newborn. Especially with this being your first baby, you'll want that alone time to bond as a family. It will be stressful having so many strangers around and feeling like you can't do your own thing. I'm glad you've decided to go for the private room. For my second & third births, we were at a different hospital that has LDRP rooms so I was in the same room from start to finish (kinda cool). The bed was terribly uncomfortable because it's that break-apart bed they use for delivery. Both times, I was outta there barely 24 hours after birth! Ahhhh, home sweet home. :) The closest thing I could do to a home birth since I was having a VBAC.

[starrynight]

Yikes I can't believe how many of you had to share a room!

I had ds in an awesome hospital that had all private rooms. And both girls were born in a military hospital. Luckily I got private rooms both times. The first time they told me there was a chance I would have to share since all the rooms were semi-private (2 to a room) but they would only double up if necessary. The second time around they had converted most of the rooms to private rooms and there were only 2 semi-private rooms left and those they only used if necessary.

I couldn't imagine sharing a room, it was bad enough that the walls were so thin in the military hospital that I heard pretty much everything going on in the next room, I would have run screaming from the hospital if I had to actually share with those people. I got almost no sleep they were so loud!

[quikeye]

IMO, don't spend the extra money on a private room. I was worried too about it, but I actually had a good (private) experience w/ a semi-private room. Our hospital only has 2 patients to a room, and I got the bed by the window (more private). I had 2 different "roommates" and neither talked/etc to me (which is what we wanted!)-- moms and families there are in their own little worlds. The curtain is a great privacy barrier, as much as it can be. The only time I talked to my roommate was saying goodbye when we checked out.

You can also request to room with other moms who've had c-sections as well, so you may feel more comfortable knowing you're both "in the same boat". You may want to also check about the overnighting-- our hospital's literature said that they didn't allow for overnight stays in semi-privates, but the nurse said they *do* allow it (and my sis stayed 1 nite, dh the next). They even had fold-out chairs for dh to sleep in... That was the one thing that was super helpful, having help-- but ds needed to nurse every 2 hours anyways so it was much more of a comfort thing.

nak...

[lag555]

I did not have a private room after I gave birth, and I really didn't have a problem with it. Each bed had large curtains around it and I felt I had the privacy I needed. Sure, I would have liked to have exclusive rights to the bathroom, but it wasn't worth $300 a day to me.

I look at it like this: You are probably going to be miserable in the hospital anyway. Why don't you just be more miserable by sharing a room and then spend the money on full-time cooking and cleaning help when you get home?

Aggie

[suribear]

To me, the critical point is the c/s. I was unable to take care of my babies for the first few days, other than full time nursing. believe me, turning from side to side every hour was enough work for me :)

With #2 my dh was allowed to stay and it made ALL the difference in my mental state and recovery. With #1 I was at the mercy of nurses who gave pacifiers (against my wishes) and (I later learned) supplements right after birth. We had major nipple confusion issues, on top of everything else. It took me ONE week to establish supply, after constantly nursing/pumping/finger feeding with a tube/top off with formula. AT that hospital, my mom got chewed out for coming a little early (before visitor hours) to help me take a shower. It's not like anyone else was going to help me!

With #2 I got to nurse right away. Dh was there so I didn't rely on anyone else. No nipple confusion. I didn't have to change the diapers (with #1, one of the nurses refused to do it, and I couldn't.) I did have a doula to relieve dh for a few hours each day. The only bad experience with #2 was the time dh chose to go to the restroom at the same time ds was gagging - I tried desperately to reach for him and lift him up, but I couldn't move fast enough - I just got my feet on the floor when dh came back. It was an awful feeling, even though dh was just a few feet away (he didn't hear me calling him). It was excess fluid from his lungs (it took a few days to get over that). Anyway, I had a lot of pain after that episode, just from trying to get up fast. You can imagine if dh hadn't been there - in my experience the nurses don't come right away :(

If you have to share, try to get the bed closest to the window.
Kris

[barbarhow]

Are you serious??? That is unbelievable. Our hospital bills it. Wow.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[StaceyKim]

Honestly the thought of sharing a room never even crossed my mind! I would NEVER want to share a room after giving birth. I would pay whatever it cost to get my own room. To me it would be worth it!