Discipline help/ideas needed!

[spencersmommy]

Hello everyone! I am in need of some discipline help. My sweet little 10 month old is starting to throw fits when I dress him and refuses to understand no! I have tried to be firm, stomp my foot, even swatted his had when it was a dangerous situation (bath time), but he doesn't seem to get it. he usually just laughs and keeps doing whatever. I move him away and that seems to work, but when do they start understanding no? Is 10 months too early? What works for you? Did you read any good books on discipline? Thanks in advance for help!!
Amy
Mommy to Spencer 6-4-03

[redhookmom]

I liked:

Positive Discipline: The First Three Years-Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child by Jane Nelson.

It really explains age apppropriate expectations well. Your DS may not understand "No" yet and diversion and redirection would work better according to Nelson.

[kaitlinsmommy]

IMHO, your 10-month old is acting totally normal. While he will soon understand "no" he doesn't yet have the capacity to prevent himself from doing something he wants to do.

I have the Dr. Sears Discipline book & LoVE it. You might not agree with all his views, but I'm a big fan and I find reading this book always gives me more patience as a parent and helps me understand toddler behavior.

Just try to keep calm & keep saying no (you'll be doing this a lot). Your child will come to understand the boundaries you are setting. Good luck!

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Tristan didn't seem to understand "no" at all at that age either, and though he would give me a sneaky look out of the corner of his eye like he might have, he too didn't respond to it. I can say at 13 months I think he does know what it means...

He threw a toy the other day and I said "Tristan be nice...no throwing" I turned my head and another toy came flying...when I turned to him he petted a toy and said "NICE" :)...
I share just so you know we too were in the same boat...and it appears it is just now that he is grasping it...

I look forward as what folks have to say ...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[mmaimp]

I few weeks ago I read the "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp, M.D. We used the practices in the "Happiest Baby on the Block" and they worked great when DS was a newborn. We use the Toddler-ese style of speaking to DS and it works! I feel strange speaking this way but don’t do it constantly. Diaper changes are smother now as well as shoe tying time. I still say no in dangerous situations but I use a stern louder voice and remove DS from area. I found that swatting his hand just caused him to swat at me at other times so I don’t do that anymore.

This book may work for you too.

[barbarhow]

Jack is a bear to get dressed and to change diapers. Sometimes its a 2 man job. Unless we sing to him during the task-then he settles down and listens/is distracted. He definately did not understand the word "no" and I think like to replicate actions that got me to say it. He seemed to like the response. He had no clue that it was a negative response. He liked the reaction and it didn't matter whether I thought it was a negative reaction. Burton Whites book-"Raising a happy, unspoiled child" is also a good reference.
You aren't alone.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[spencersmommy]

I am glad to see I am not alone! :-) Thank you for your replies! I am so glad I have this group to go to. I have friends with babies, but it is nice to get a mix of ideas and opinions from this group.
I think we'll work on redirecting and also singing during those diaper changes!
One thing that is helping a little bit during diaper changes is a baby tummy time gym that also stands up. I lay DS on the floor (easier for me than the changing table!) and put the gym above him. He likes to bat at it and watch the colors when the music plays. I had it by the door b/c it was a give away, but now it is staying! You may have one laying around...it's worth a shot! :-)
Thanks again!!!
Amy
Mommy to Spencer 6-4-03

[nola]

My husband and I had just a couple rules that were simple for her to follow, like "no eating kitty food". I think she was about 9 months. When she would eat the kitty food, we would banish her to her crib for 5 minutes, saying to her "no, no, no eating kitty food." (We had to consistant.) She cried so mournfully. I felt terrible. But, she caught on quicker than we expected. It took maybe 5 times for the kitty food rule. But the 3 rules after that required only 3 banishes. And it really worked - like she just does not do it anymore.
She throws fits when I dress her, but I haven't made a rule about that. I just ignore her enough to get her clothes on, but try to sooth her a little by talking to her. I think she has pretty much moved out of this stage anyway.
Added: For diaper changes, we had many problems until we began stashing board books where she could reach them.