Reality TV goes too far

[C99]

Did anyone else hear about this?? My husband just sent me this link.
http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/19700.htm/

How does this become entertainment?? Wasn't there a Law & Order episode that mirrored this? Yuck! I am surprised at Barbara Walters.

[mharling]

It is very shocking. Definitely yuck.

There's been a recent conversation about this down in the Adoption forum too.

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
[link:www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b370a2992536|Birthday Pics!!]

[Sarah1]

I agree...that's bad. I saw the previews tonight during The Bachelor, and thought to myself, that's really a new low. And this coming from someone who watches The Bachelor--so my standards for decent television are already pretty low :)

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

well just so you know that preview was by far more sedate than the old ones trying to advertise for this same show...they took it down a notch or two...on friday when they advertised for it it made me sick to my stomach it was so gross...

I didn't click on this link, but when Barbara Walters was metnioned I am only assuming that this is about what got me all worked up on the adoption forum Friday night...

I hope everyone writes 20/20 and tells them what they think...

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[papal]

Wow... that is very shocking... they are exploiting that poor baby, who does not have a voice! What will he think if he sees this show, 10 years from now. Truly sad. And doesn't Bubba have an adopted daughter? How could she participate in this??? Ridiculous!

[JenCA]

From what I understand, this is a documentary focusing on one girl's struggle to give up her child for adoption and choose from among five anxious set of prospective parents. It is NOT a reality t.v. show, although apparently that's what the commericals were playing it up to be.

[new_mommy25]

I just got a pit in my stomach reading that. It's outrageous and sad.

[suribear]

No matter what it is, I don't think it's right to involve a baby. I mean, with shows like The Bachelor, they can break up after the show. In this case, that child's life is at stake and you can't tell me that having cameras around doesn't affect your judgment or add undue pressure.

If they had followed the adoption of a baby after that decision had been made, fine, but somehow this bothers me.

Kris

[JLiebCamm]

I watched Barbara Walters on the View and she clarified that this was a type of adoption that already takes place and that 20/20 was just documenting it. That being said, I definitely think that this should be a private matter and not something for all of America to watch. I know I won't tune in.

[Rachels]

How awful! And did you see that baby?! He's not a newborn. What is this mother thinking?!! I understand when children are relinquished at birth and placed much later, even though it breaks my heart. But to yank a child from one home and place him in another beyond the newborn stage is going to be pretty traumatic for him. That they've hyped it as a competition just sickens me.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I'm totally sickened by it so this is in no way a defense of them...
But I think the baby was given up as a newborn and they have followed them for a year or two as an OPEN adoption, so that is probably why the photos of birth mommy and toddler.
It is gross to hype it up as a game show and to show this toddler non the less...it is the child's story and not for these adults to determine that it be shown...

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[kijip]

I am sure that this has already been filmed so the baby was given up at birth.

But even if not, lots of older babies and children are adopted from orphanages. There is still plenty of time to bond with the adoptive parents.

While open adoptions are already done, it is not the type of adoption that is offensive it is the marketing hype as well as the fact that we would WANT to watch such a personal story.

It is during sweeps...the network expects lots of viewers. Stay away and thwart their plans!

What's next? I don't know if we can sink lower TV wise.

[cerrena]

"Jeffrey Schneider, head of ABC publicity, blamed the controversy on the misleading promotional spots."

Let's hope so. I'm sure a thoughtfull documentry on open adoptions could be informative and interesting. But dressing it up like a reality show is so clearly in bad taste it's amazing that anyone would even consider it.

[StaceyKim]

I am a reality tv junkie and this REPULSED me. How disgusting!!! This is really low class if you ask me and the poor little kid doesn't deserve this publicity. I am surprised at Barbara Walters!

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

My problem is totally with the hype...and that hype includes showing the baby in a way that they are a prize and that there are winners and losers...

I think a better job could have been done to protect the babies image, what I don't really know but agree that it is the tacky tacky hype...

I know in Ukraine that total sibling groups are put up for adoption at times and that they are toddlers if not older...since we want a sibling group that will probably be the scenerio (if avaialbe) that we will walk into...

20/20 had/has a chance to open the idea of adoption up to many...they have a chance to educate folks that in many cases you adoption and the tax credits, compnay reimbursements etc... almost can pay for the cost...they have a chance to educate and it appears that they are chosing to just get ratings and to make a mockery out of this...
I am certain they are scrambling aorund, so I can only hope with all mite that they are changing this tacky approach.
Even the showing of the graphics of blocks and stuff for some reason has my panties in a wad...they should be gracious, and treat this with the utmost respect..."baby block" graphics and too many icons that "reak" baby to those hungry for a birth, or baby is just yuck to my stomach!!!!
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[jasabo]

It's nauseating. I hope that, when that little guy grows up, he doesn't find out that he was auctioned off on public TV. There are ways to "educate" the public about adoption, and this sure doesn't seem to be a good one. It's all about ratings and money...I hope ABC isn't rewarded with good ratings for the show. Sadly, though, I bet a lot of people will watch it for the "shock value."

Lisa - mom to 10 month old twin boys

[khakismom]

I may be in the minority here, and I obviously haven't watched it, but it doesn't sound like this program is showing the baby "auctioned off to the higest bidder". It sounds like the hype has overpowered the true purpose of the show, which was to follow this mother along as she chooses the parents for her child.

I am curious how it will be shown, and I hope it is shown with respect to all parties involved. That may or may not be the case. But the simple fact of the matter is that when you are a birth mom, you spend much of your time trying to find the best parents for your little one.

ETA: Thank you Neve and everyone else for explaining the promos--I am clearer on the vulgarity of them. I honestly hadn't seen any of them and was unaware of this show until the link posted here.

[Rachels]

Good point, Neve. I didn't think of that. And Katie, I certainly know that there's plenty of wonderful bonding that can occur when an older child is adopted. I have a cousin who is a Korean adoptee, and all is well. :) But it's certainly not ideal for the child if there's an alternative, KWIM?

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Initially ther terms "win" "lose" and "who will win this baby"...were used...I think without a doubt and all of the uproar that the story and the way it was marketed have to have been changed dramatically from the initital story and the way it was to be marketed.

They have no choice but to have a better way of doing it, so we can't judge their poor choice on what is seen tomorrow as much as what they aired to drum it up last Friday night.

It really was gross...I posted here in the adoption thread almost immediatly I was so disturbed...
It really was worse than an "auction" to me...it seemed to market the inner core of desire etc... I can't explain it but I do beleive anyone who saw that schpiel last week would be disturbed...
It really was gross...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[tinkerbell1217]

I think thats terrible!! I am all for adoptions in the right circumstances, but making it a contest is just terrible!! Yes, I saw that Law & Order episode and it broke my heart!!!


Kelly

[smkinc]

Maureen,

I couldn't agree more with this statement.

>But the simple fact of the matter is that when you are a birth mom,
>you spend much of your time trying to find the best parents for your
>little one.

I really wish ABC had put the emphasis on this in their promotions because I think that they had a tremendous opportunity to educate the general population about open adoption. I watched Good Morning America this morning and the only quote they had from the birthmother was something along the lines of ...'I basically get to decide if these people will become parents...' No--she gets to decide who will be the parents of her child and I'm sure that's more in her mind than whether or not the people she's interviewing will become parents.

I think ABC is trying to respond to the backlash this has created and so far, I don't think they're doing a very good job.

The Hallmark channel had a weekly show on a couple of years ago called Adoption. They did an excellent job of showing the multiple issues faced by both birthmothers and adoptive parents in many types of adoption (both domestic and international)--it was very tastefully and respectfully done. I wish the show was still on because it would be a much better alternative for information than this 'documentary'.


Mary
Adoptive Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03
and our 'first' Curie (6 year old Golden Retriever)

[sweetbasil]

I saw that spot after The Bachelor last night, and was sickened. Too bad that they posed it the way they did in those promos- I have absolutely no desire to tune in!

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

last nite was very very tame compared to last friday...
so you can only imagine how bad it was...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[khakismom]

...do you think you will watch it? I plan to, but we'll see.

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I'm not certain...
In all honesty it doesn't interest me anymore than any other topic that they could present. I am not doing a domestic adoption nor does an open adoption interest me (edited toc larify the word "interest" to mean we are not doing it not that I am not interested in it, so I don't feel any "bond" in this program anymore than if it was on something else...
Nothing against either they are just not the way we have chosen to go, and we aren't even using an "agency" in the sense that they are known by...

So I don't know...I feel like I should send a message and just say NO, for it would not be hard for me to skip. I really have little interest in watching 5 nice couples poor out their hear and soul and to be notified they they were not selected...

So I shug...for I really don't know, but kind of doubt it...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[JenCA]

I'm planning to watch it. It seems like many can't get past the misleading t.v. promos to realize that it's actually a documentary about the adoption process.

[calebsmama03]

I was actually just coming to post about this - DISGUSTING!! Shame on ABC and shame on Barbara Walters...
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03

[starrynight]

I haven't even read the article just read the caption under the photo and I'm disgusted. That is too far and plain wrong imo. How do they choose, the one with the most cash??

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

The only resemblance to it was the blocks with the couples onthem and the baby was still shown. But it was very tame, and had it been like this last Friday I never would have questioned it, well maybe the baby's face on there are recognizable as can be...

But it was still a wierd ad it said "an adoption like you've never seen before"....hmmm what does that mean???? Why would they beable to go around a full system that is in place to do things that so unique to the situation and the adoption world????

Anyway they obvioulsy couldn't take the heat and attempted to get out of the kitchen...and I notice it is not Barbara Walter's voice doing the ads anymore I suspect they are trying to distance her fromthe hub bub as much as possible to protect her...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties