Rachel!!

[Marisa6826]

Any word on your Dad???

Keeping my fingers crossed

hugs

-m

[Rachels]

They just called and he's not doing well. No results on the tests yet, but all the meds they've given him have made him really sick. He sounds awful. I'm upset.

Add to that that although blatant personal attacks are not allowable on the boards but ARE allowable in noneraseable feedback, and I'm not having a great day. An opinion is one thing, but a lie and a slam is another. SOrry for the OT, but these two things came to my attention within five minutes of each other, and they both SUCK.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Marisa6826]

Rachel-

I'm so sorry. I've been on enough cardio meds to know that they can make you feel really crappy. Fortunately they are usually reversible though.

As far as the unforgivable obnoxiousness that's been going on lately, I hope it's short lived.

We're all sick of it.

Please know you're in my thoughts

hugs

-m

[lisams]

What the heck kind of feedback was that? You and Beth made the decision together to lock the threads. Rachel, I am so sorry to hear that your father isn't doing well. I'm hoping they find a med that won't cause him to feel so sick.

Take care of yourself right now.
Lisa

[mommd]

Rachel,

Sorry to hear about your father, I hope he starts to feel better.

I'm also sorry to hear about your feedback. It seems like you've been picked on a bit more than usual lately. Most of us are happy to have you here!

<<<Hugs>>>

[Calmegja2]

Fingers and toes crossed here, Rachel. I hope all is well soon.

[atlbaby]

I didn't have a chance to reply to your post last night, Rachel. I'm so sorry your dad is sick. I hope that the doctors find a med that can help him without ill effects, and that he has good test results.

Thinking of you,

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
and Daliya Samantha, 10/27/03

[Sarah1]

Rachel,

I've been thinking of you, too. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this with your dad (not to mention the incident w/your DH).

As for the other stuff...well, you shouldn't doubt the support and respect you have from those of us who've spent any significant amount of time on these boards. I think sometimes newer or less active members (as you know, I was guilty of this once too) just don't recognize the knowledge, understanding and open-mindedness you bring to this community on a consistent basis.

[Rachels]

Thanks, Renee. I don't mind the negative appraisal-- it happens in life that we like some people and not others. :) But the degree to which it was personal and vicious was uncalled for, especially since it was retaliatory for the fact that Beth and I closed threads BECAUSE they had gotten personal and vicious. And mostly it was rotten timing. I was on the boards when the phone rang from the hospital. Not fun.

I just hope our message was clear to most folks anyway that the threads were closed because of conduct, not content, and certainly not because of judgement over anyone's views.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[cuca_]

Sorry that your Dad is not doing so well. Hopefully they will be able to find the right medication for him soon. I am also sorry about the feedback. Hope the rest of your day goes better.

[wagner36]

I just wanted to add, Rachel, that many of us that are newer or less active members feel the same way too....

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Rachel,
Maybe since you are a mod you can have some impact with this issue regarding the feedback. I for one think points and the plus and minus system are juvenille. I think the feed back system is a nice one and suspect that if it was absent the plus and minus and the points it would not effect ones so much, nor would such a note among an obvious field of great ones really matter.

I would like to tell you to not take this feedback so seriously, I know it happend before and if effected you a lot much the same way and I guess that is reason enough to me for the system of this community not to have it.

I'm not suggesting that the feedback part be done away with for it is lovely leaving folks "love notes" for their help etc... I lost that privledge when I deactivated my feedback, which is nice in that I always felt guilty for not taking the time to leave the feedback so I am a lot more at peace with my decision.
BUT if this can effect you (meaning a community member and you as an example here) this much, it is ashame and maybe this is the time we should as a community come together and decide that a chance to leave negative feedback shouldn't even be there...or the points, or the minus points etc...

For I do feel if it is there none of us can really come and complain about it...for it is there for some odd reason. I guess I feel like if someone does something "bad" then they are dealt...the chance to leave negative feedback to me has no place in such a communcity.

So I say this for two reasons...and honestly I wouldn't say it any different if you were my best friend in life, I am honestly saying this as nicely as I can...
* One don't let this upset you so much, since it is a unfortunatly a way inwhich this set up promotes feedback
* But two maybe you as a moderator can suggest that we only have a kudos "love note" section...and I'd love for it to be minus points and plus signs and negative signs...

As long as this system is in place I really don't know how we can come here if upset by it if that makes sense, for several have gotten negative feedback in the past...I just think it shouldn't be an option...

Edited to add...I guess why this system leaves me not settled is that I don't know how a baby board has any place to give a negative rating on anyone. I mean what is it's purpose
" I am giving Neve a negative rating for letting her son fall off the bed"
" I am giving Roberta a negative rating for letting her son eat a candy bar in his first month of life"

If it is just because you don't care for anyone then why do we need it????
If it is because we want to give trolls negative feedback, well they are dealt with anyway in that if "true trolls" they and causing problems they are disabled.

I am saddened that if your father is in the hospital and having problems, even if it is with medicine, that this system could even be on your mind if that is the case...
There is something clearly wrong with this system if it is upsetting a community member enough to share their mind with that kind of a problem...

Again all for the kudos but we should change the rules on being able to leave negative feedback or points, or a plus or minus next to ones name.


and
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Rachels]

Neve, thanks. My problem again isn't with the negative appraisal-- with 60 people weighing in, a few dislikes are to be expected and are no big deal. (And the first one made me laugh, actually-- I got rated negatively the same day about twenty other people did.) Anyway, my concern is with the degree to which it is personal, inaccurate, and vicious. It's not feedback-- it's an attack. We don't allow that on threads, and it shouldn't be allowed there, either. I agree with everything you said, and I would even if this hadn't happened today.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[etwahl]

rachel, i'm so sorry for your dad. i just read about this just now and feel bad i wasn't there to support you before this. i'm so sorry. please let me know if you ever need to talk. i hope things turn around for him.

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[Rachels]

I just heard from him again. They are estimating that he has about a 30% blockage somewhere, which doesn't need to be treated but does need to be followed carefully. It's good news and not so good news at the same time.

At any rate, it has heightened our awareness of the degree to which he is at risk, and that freaks me out. Everyone in his family lives forever. My grandmother is nearing 91, my great-grandfather died at 103, my aunts were in their nineties. I am feeling shaken by being confronted by my dad's mortality three decades before I really thought we'd face it, KWIM?


-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Marisa6826]

Rachel-

Hmm. No South Beach for him. I'm glad that they've figured out what's going on. At least now he can be treated appropriately.

Is he going for a second opinion? I'd be happy to get names here in NYC for you. I love my cardiologist. She's at NY Cornell.

Please let me know

hugs


-m

[ddmarsh]

Oh goodness I'm so sorry to hear that he's not doing well :(. Hugs to you and best wishes for him.

As for the other, I have four words for you: RI-DIC-U-LOUS :).

[jd11365]

Rachel,
Big, long hugs to you...you have had such a terrible couple of days. It is good news about the 30% blockage...in a weird way. Thank goodness it wasn't anything more serious right now. With good care, he will outlive all of his family!

Go take a long bath, a glass of wine and get off these boards for a day or so. And I completely second Debbie's four words with four of my own...Give Me A Break! More hugs...

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
5-1-03

[pritchettzoo]

Oh, Rachel... I hope the boards are at least a distraction for you right now. Although I think even if you posted "20% chance of rain" at this point, someone would argue with your meteorological interpretation. ;) Maybe it's all a grand conspiracy to keep you busy and your thoughts otherwise occupied? :) Is a nice CIO debate in order?

My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope you get good news soon.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[redhookmom]

http://www.amitymama.com/vb/images/smilies/bighug.gif

My thoughts and prayers are with your Dad and the people taking care of him. I hope you get some good news tomorrow.

[tippy]

YUP

[Rachels]

LOL!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[ismommy]

Rachel,
Sorry I didnt get a chance to reply earlier. I hope your dad continues to improve.
About the other stuff - dont let it bother you I know thats hard but it seems people just arent reading what you are writing and are responding to their own problems.
You are one of the greatets assets to this board.
Helene
mommy to Isabella