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View Full Version : I am a geek. I found this mildly funny.



papal
05-20-2004, 11:18 AM
Hope you have not read it before:

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

---------------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System! Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

rrosen
05-20-2004, 11:24 AM
Hilarious! I a forwarding this to a few friends.

bluej
05-20-2004, 11:35 AM
LOL! So very true!

cuca_
05-20-2004, 11:41 AM
Love this! Very funny.

Carmen

Dcclerk
05-20-2004, 12:02 PM
Apparently I am a geek, too, because I'm very amused :)

NancyJ_redo
05-20-2004, 12:27 PM
Very funny, especially the virus/MIL stuff :)

flagger
05-20-2004, 12:33 PM
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it"s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications.

Child-Processes

He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Incompatibilities

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He"s finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Version 2.0

Some features he"d like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.

1. A "Don"t remind me again" button
2. Minimize button
3. An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
4. An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

Girlfriend 2.0

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0.

Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn"t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

Work around

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.

Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name.

Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

Kate888
05-20-2004, 12:53 PM
ROTFL!! Hilarious! http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif

You guys crack me up!! http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif

Kate
Mama to Maya 2-17-02

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/ptrose.gif

mik8
05-20-2004, 03:46 PM
Rashmi, thanks for sharing this. This cracked me up. WHoever wrote this must have some ingenuity in computer lingo.

kransden
05-20-2004, 03:56 PM
ROTFLMAO!
I am going to spam all my friends with this!

Karin and Katie 10/24/02