4 month old sudden sleep problems

[neeter]

Hi, its 4am and I'm looking for some advice on sleep! This is the second day of DS being unable to sleep!! He is 4 months old.

DS has always slept well swaddled naps and at night, but had been fighting it, so we started trying to wean him from it (one arm out). Sometimes we just let him sleep without it, but DS wakes up within an hour or so. Well we went to the doctor on Thursday, and she said to stop swaddling entirely because it would overheat DS and it was contributing to his eczema. So we've stopped swaddling. But DS is just figured out how to roll, and he's rolling all over the place instead of settling down.

The past two days its just gotten worse and worse. He cries when he should be napping. Its such a struggle at every naptime and nighttime. I've been trying to get him to nap around 1.5 - 2 hours after he wakes up, to prevent him from getting overtired. But he fusses and cries so much that he usually goes over this 2 hour benchmark. We've traded the swaddle for a sleepsack, or sometimes nothing because he just fights it.

And now he just gets hysterical anytime he is lying down...even if we're just playing with him...because I think he's associating lying down with needing to go to sleep. Tonite it took over an hour of getting him to go to sleep, but within a few hours he was up crying - we'd go in to give him a pacifier, which worked at first for a few times, but then it turned into hysterics.

I am not sure where we went wrong!! And I'm worried that he is just going to get more and more sleep deprived! And we're going to fall into bad habits of nursing, holding him to sleep because it seems to be the only way to calm him down. The main culprit could be the swaddling (but again he fights it at every turn). Also he is rolling now. Or could it be he's just more hungry (he's 18 lbs). Or could it even be that we are making him nap TOO much during the day when he's really not tired? Or does he just really need some alone time when he's fussy? I am at a loss -- any suggestions, books I can read, something to try?

Thank you for even reading this! I hope its coherent!!

Anita

[llcoddington]

I don't know the answers to your questions, so I'll just share what we did and maybe it will help you!

Lauren is almost 6 months and we too had sleep issues around 4 months. Well, to be honest, we had sleep issues from day one! But, I think I had reached my wits end around 4 months. Some of the ladies on this board recommended Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I read it (along with some other books) and Weissbluth's methods worked for us. It was hard- for the first couple of days we let her cry to sleep (not hysterical crying, just fussy crying). She did get hysterical a few times and we went and picked her up.

Basically, we put her to bed between 6 and 8 pm and wake her at 7 am if she is still sleeping. She wakes up to nurse around 1 am and then right back to sleep. She goes back down for a nap around 9 am (usually sleeps maybe 2 hours) and then between 1 and 2 pm for an hour or so. Sometimes she takes a late afternoon cat nap. We try to have a routine at bedtime: nurse, rock, put in crib and turn on acquarium. She sometimes cries for a minute or two and then goes to sleep.

I read somewhere that if a baby cannot get himself/herself to sleep by 6 months, then it will be much, much longer before they can do so. So, this is my goal.

I don't have any advice about the swaddling. We only did that in the very beginning. Maybe someone else has advice? I think Rashmi swaddles Leela who is 7 months (I think.).

All this to say, every baby is different and different things work for different babies. Good luck!

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[mommd]

I am right there with you. Maybe it's normal for this age? Sorry, can't offer you advice, just support. My DD used to take two 2 hour long naps a day, and now I'm lucky if I can get her to take one 40 minute nap. She also rolls on her stomach at night to sleep, which freaks me out. Hope you find some help!

[daisymommy]

I'll betcha any money that he's teething! Most babies get their first teeth at 4 months old, and it makes going to sleep pure hell! It hurts them much worse when they are laying down, because all the pressure it in their jaws back-up (kind of like when you have a cold). Also, when they are up playing, it takes their mind off of the pain they are in. Imagine little sharp razor teeth pushing through your soft gums 24/7! OUCH! Poor baby.

I would give him some Motrin, rub Oragel on his gums, and give him some cold teething rings. See if that helps. I know it's hard, but when the teeth pop through the gums, it really does get much better. It's not their fault they can't sleep when they hurt, please be patient with him Mama!

Also, just wanted to add that many babies don't like to be swaddled when they turn 4 months and are so mobile. Learning new activities really gets their adrenaline going too, so it's harder for them to relax and focus on sleeping. I would also wait a full 2 hours before trying to put him down to bed (not 1.5).

Good Luck, and hope you all get some much needed rest soon!

[neeter]

Thanks for your support! This am its been a little more peaceful, so I'm crossing my fingers. He played, nursed, was pretty calm when I put him in the sleepsack, just sort of played around a bit (and I was lying next to him on the bed, but I hid behind a pillow) and he peetered out and feel asleep! Whew! But the first nap is usually the easiest.

I have read Weissbuth but its been a while and need to just go out a buy a copy. So at 4 months, they don't need to be asleep by 2 hours? I put him down at 1.5 because I'm so scared it will be 1 hour to get him down! But maybe I'm freaking him out.

As for teething, what are some signs that he might be teething? I don't see any white spots on his gyms, but he does seem to be drooling alot!!

Thank you!!!!

[papal]

Hi Anita, so sorry you are having sleep issues.

Is it possible for you to turn your a/c down lower? We keep our a/c at 72 and swaddle Leela (7 months). She wears just a cloth-diaper (no cover) at night... i know this is not possible for everyone, but our dd is super sweaty!! We use the Miracle Blanket and swaddle her nice and tight.. we try the one-arm-out once every couple of weeks but she continues to flail the free hand and wake herself up, so we go back to both arms swaddled. Her legs are out of the blanket and we cover them with a cotton blanket. One time, I tried to get her to nap without swaddling her.. and she kept sitting and falling and sitting and falling and rolling and crawling. So no, that does not work for us! We fear we have created a swaddling-monster and at the age of 14 she will continue to be swaddled.. but so be it.. we do what works!! :)

I would definitely say to go back to swaddling your ds and turn down the temperature in your home.

Good luck mama! Things will get better, i promise!

[amp]

I don't have any suggestions for you right now, but I will tell you that you are not alone in dealing with us. Most of us who have had babies have been through this. It's difficult when they are still little. I don't think jake developed a schedule until he was about 6 mths old and I think we were ready for the nuthouse trying to get him to sleep for any length of time. Also, since he has just learned to roll over, he's getting mobile and that can affect sleep for days or weeks. I hate to say it, but he may do the same when he starts crawling and pulling up. Also, Amy might be right about the teething. Try some infant Tylenol (you shouldn't use motrin or ibuprofen until he's 6 mths old) and see if that helps him settle. Also, if you don't already have one, you can try getting into a bedtime routine. That helped us immensely. We made sure to try to do pj's, diaper, and rock to sleep with a bottle all about the same time each night when we knew he typically would start to get fussy/sleepy. This really helped him learn to go to bed.

Hopefully some of this works, but even if it doesn't, just know that you are not alone and that it should pass. Take comfort and suggestions from the ladies here and continue to ask questions if needed. Good luck!

[daisymommy]

Symptoms of teething:
drooling alot
chewing on things (fingers, toys, clothes)
sleep problems
fussiness, crying alot
not wanting to eat as much as usual

There are many times I can't see any swollen tender or white/red areas on DS's gums for quite awhile (we're talking days or weeks). Then bumps appear, and days or weeks later the teeth come ethrough. Thankfully, not every child takes forever for the teeth to push through the gums, but in Josh's case it literally can take a month! :o

[neeter]

Thank you again for all your help and ideas. Well we're still not sure what is going on, but yesterday was okay. He slept fine in the sleepsack, but would stir every so often (and I'm holding my breath!!) When we put him down to sleep, he slept for about 30 mins but woke up hysterical - it took us about 45 minutes to calm him down...we did give him some Tylenol and a teether in case he was teething, but we couldn't be sure. I nursed him, he got drowsy and put him in his Miracle Blanket. He was too tired to put up a fuss. And then we turned the AC down!! (My guy is super sweaty too). And it worked! Ahhh. Up only once to nurse.

Hope today and tonite is the same. I think he's losing the association of lying down = sleep = bad (at least he doesn't freak out at diaper changes anymore). We're going to have to start a consistent routine at night - good idea.

Thanks again!!