Bare pregnant bellies in public... how do you feel?

[mamicka]

& have you done it yourself? I, personally, did show my belly since I was HUGE in summer. Plus, I was blessed with no stretch marks so I felt OK about it. I've since heard people talk about it negatively (nobody who saw me do it, that I know of) but it never really occured to me before this that there would be anything wrong with it. I'm talking about at appropriate times only. I didn't (wouldn't) do it at church or work & I'm definitely not talking about the WHOLE belly, just a few inches of midriff.

Is this OK or am I way off?

[egoldber]

I have no issues with it personally. I wore a bikini when I was pregnant, and I would never wear one when I was not pregnant. But when pregnant, I felt free to show my belly! :)

[Marisa6826]

Well, being that I have the gift of stretch marks, AND quite a layer of padding over the belly, it's not happening here.

However, when I do see women doing it, I think they look fabulous. Good for them to feel confident enough. They're so beautiful to begin with, that the confidence makes them glow even more.

-m

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I think it is GREAT!!!!
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[C99]

I think there are times when it's appropriate and times where it isn't (for example, when no one else has a bare midriff, it's not OK to show off your pregnant one).

[flagger]

I think it is absolutely disgusting. I will admit that I am not a fan of bare mid-riffs period. And I see lots of people who bare their mid-riffs who are not pregnant who really should not be baring it.

[StaceyKim]

Well since none of my cute maternity tops cover my entire belly...yes I show the bottom part of my belly (ETA not the belly button just the very bottom and since I am petite you probably have to be a child to even see it!). I am ALL belly. It literally sticks out like a basketball. I do have dressier longer tops but I am mostly casual...

[StaceyKim]

>>And I see lots of people who bare their mid-riffs who are not pregnant who really should not be baring it.>>

there outta be a law against this! some people must not have mirrors. but cute pg women showing a little is....well, cute. JMO

[tinkerbell1217]

I would not do it and have not done it, I have stretch marks galore (thanks to 3 pregnancies and not so strecthy skin!)BUT, I think all pregnant women are beautiful and should be proud of their bumps (to borrow an English slang word!). I don't think its "disgusting" at all! If you have a great belly with no stretch marks, go for it! I don't mean your whole belly, unless you are wearing a bikini during the summer or something. But, a bit of belly peaking out from underneath a t-shirt? I think its just fine!

[Melanie]

I think pregnant women and bellies are beautiful, but for me, like with all bare midriffs, it depends on the time/place/style of clothing.

[flagger]

The worst example of is was some commercial for a drug called Zelnorm? All these women baring really ugly bellies. Not something you want coming on at dinner time. Puuuuuuuuuuuke!!!

[candybomiller]

I think pregnant bellies are adorable.

Unless they are covered with fat, like mine was. I did not show my belly in public.

[tarahsolazy]

I think its fine, in casual or beach situations. Pregnant bellies are cute. Flabby ones, hangin' over your pants waistband, emerging from ill-chosen belly shirts, are not.

[JenCA]

I wore a bikini last summer when I was pg, so I obviously wasn't worried about showing too much. I don't have a problem with seeing bare pg bellies as long as they are exposed in appropriate situations (i.e., at the beach).

[jubilee]

I don't feel comfortable to do it myself, and wish the general female population wasn't into exposing as much skin as they do.

[llcoddington]

I think it looks nice on some. For example, Kelly Rippa showed a little belly when she was pregnant and looked cute. But, no way for me. But that is more to do with the fact that I do not tan and have no desire to show a white belly, pregnant or not!

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[brigmaman]

I was just thinking of Kelly Ripa and her pregnancies on TV. I just read an interview with her where she admitted to getting mail during her pregnancy saying that it was inappropriate that her belly button was showing (through her clothes, I believe it was an outie...). I was surprised about this myself.
With Brig, I never exposed my belly. With this pregnancy I've worn a bikini but only in fairly private settings. We saw a woman with a cute little tan belly showing just a bit. It looked great on her,but I don't think I could pull it off!

[nohomama]

"This is the bath of birth, this the merge of small and large, and the outlet again.
Be not ashamed women, your privilege encloses the rest, and is the exit of the rest,
You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul."

-Walt Whitman

Pregnant bellies are beautiful whether clothed or bare. I haven't worn a bikini since I was in my early twenties and weighed 25 pounds less (than my pre pregnancy weight, of course). Like Beth, I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini in a non gestating state but I did just order a maternity bikini the other day. It's gonna take some chutzpa to wear the thing but whether or not others "approve" of me doing so doesn't concern me. I am, quite literally, full of life right now and I'm gonna flaunt it.

[Raidra]

If I had a nice, tan, pregnant belly, I definitely would. I think it looks great in the right situation. Pregnant women are gorgeous!

I do have to say, though, that when I was working at a women's health clinic, I saw a pregnant woman come in with short-shorts and something that resembled a sports bra. Her clothes were ratty and her hair was a mess, etc. It looked so horrible, and I felt so bad for her poor child.

I definitely agree with everyone about exposed non-pregnant flabby bellies hanging over the waistband being gross, though. My husband and I were just talking about this today at Six Flags, and we decided that if we have a daughter and she wants to wear something like that when she's, say, 16, that we'll have a 1" rule, i.e. no more than 1" of belly showing. And I would sit down and have a talk with her if she was overweight and wanting to show her belly.

[luvbeinmama]

I haven't, BUT an acquaintance of mine is a RAIL usually, and she showed up to a MOMS Club Luau with her skirt below and showing off her large pg belly. She is one of those that can pull it off! She looked just GREAT. I was wishing I could, but not in this body! LOL!

[westchicagomom]

I totally agree - one of the reasons I miss being pregnant (not feeling self-conscious about my stomach)! We have a really cute picture of me w/ my 7 month pg belly peeking out from behind 2 tiki statues in Hawaii. It is priceless!

[gour0]

I think if you are comfortable, you should go for it! I think pregnant bellies are beautiful.

http://www.babystyle.com/images/product/15000_MID_l.jpg

http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregnancyphotos/l/blbelly0227i.htm

[Rachels]

>I think it is absolutely disgusting.

Well, then, don't look.


-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/character/2/character39.gif

"We have a secret in our culture...it's not that birth is painful, it's that women are strong!!" - Laura Stavoe Harm

[brigmaman]

Ok Sarah, clearly preggo hormones have taken over my emotions! Your post is making me cry! (Happy tears ;)) That's a great quote. Enjoy the summer!

[brigmaman]

Julie, it's amazing the outfits that 6th and 7th grade girls would wear to the school I subbed at this year. The majority seemed to wear tops that either just hit their waists or were belly shirts. In addition, pants are cut so low that more skin (and many thongs)shows.
As a totally crazy side note, it drives me crazy that Dora the Explorer's shirt shows her belly. I'm not sure what the point of this is. Isn't she just a little girl?

As for being preggo and hot, it's more about keeping cool this summer than showing skin for me!!

[flagger]

>>I think it is absolutely disgusting.
>
>Well, then, don't look.

Hmmm. The title of this post is Bare pregnant bellies in public... how do you feel?. I answered exactly how I felt about it. There really is no further need to debate this. A question was asked, and I answered. Case closed.

[StaceyKim]

I think it is much more repulsive to see your cable man's hairy naked butt crack in you face while he is hooking up your cable and plenty of men expose their disgusting beer bellies in public all the time! Now that is something to puke about.

I happen to think those women have nice stomachs but it is a stupid commercial.

[MartiesMom2B]

What a beautiful picture. I love seeing belly pictures. I think it's fine. I didn't bear my belly, but I was pregnant through the winter. In fact, friends and relatives asked for belly pictures when I was pregnant.

Sonia http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/character/1/character03.gif
Proud Mommy to Martie

[kijip]

I don't really care. I certainly am not offended by it. BUT I do prefer a more modest standard of dressing than is normally accepted right now. I am more comfortable with a peek of a pregnant belly, with or without stretch marks, than I am with a peek of any other kind of belly, buff or flabby. Having had a very cute buff belly, then a pregnant belly and now a shrinking (finally!) flabby c-section belly I can say that I have never worn things designed to show off my belly that were not specific to the pool or to vigorous physical activity.....and that is mainly because I have a VERY long torso and one piece suits are impractical. If not flabby when I get pregnant again, I would consider wearing my racing 2 pc suit again since the cheapie Old Navy tankini from Toby's gestation is falling apart and rides up my belly anyway! But no bra tops for out to dinner!

[murpheyblue2]

You go girl!

[gour0]

"I definitely agree with everyone about exposed non-pregnant flabby bellies hanging over the waistband being gross, though. My husband and I were just talking about this today at Six Flags, and we decided that if we have a daughter and she wants to wear something like that when she's, say, 16, that we'll have a 1" rule, i.e. no more than 1" of belly showing. And I would sit down and have a talk with her if she was overweight and wanting to show her belly."

This paragraph made me sad. I don't know if I can articulate it well, but I'll try. I know that I too look at some people and think "I wouldn't wear that if I looked like that.", but that is me not being comfortable in the skin I'm in. I wish everyone was able to feel beautiful, without this unreal standard hanging over our heads. And, while I wouldn't have any problem telling a teenager that they couldn't wear something because it was not modest enough, I would not want to send the message that it wasn't okay because her body was somehow not beautiful enough for the world to see.

[Rachels]

Well said. I agree, Stacey. I worry VERY much about the messages we're sending to young girls about their bodies. I have worked with a ton of kids with eating disorders, and most of them had parents who somewhere along the way conveyed their impressions that these girls didn't look quite okay enough. It's a very painful message that they internalize and really use to destroy themselves. Better to let that inch and a half show than to convince her that her body isn't acceptable.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/character/2/character39.gif

"We have a secret in our culture...it's not that birth is painful, it's that women are strong!!" - Laura Stavoe Harm

[egoldber]

Thank you for saying this Stacey. I too was really surprised by the number of comments in this thread that were along the lines of women above a certain size should not wear certain clothes. In my opinion it is one thing as a parent to not let a child (and a teenager is a child :) ) wear clothing that sexualizes them. It is quite another thing to say that my child should not wear certain clothes because they do not conform to an arbitrary body image.

Having a daughter, I try to be supremely conscious of not making comments about her size or appearance, even at this age (for example, things like "what a good girl, you're so beautiful", linking being good and being pretty together). I hope that as she grows up, she will know that she is beautiful and wonderful not because of how she looks but because of who she is. And if she feels condident and proud enough of herself to wear a midriff baring top (when she is oh, say 30 :) ) regardless of what shape her body takes, then I think I will have done my job well.

[redhookmom]

I LOVE pregnant bellies in any shape or form, exposed or not exposed. I especially love tight clingy tops that show off that belly. I thing showing skin is wonderful in any setting that it would be appropriate for a woman who is not pregnant to show some skin.
I WISH I could think about my body the same way now as I did when I was pregnant. I loved every curve.

[nigele]

Go, Sarah! I think it's awesome that you'll be showing off your beautiful belly in a bikini. I never felt more comfortable in my skin than when I was pregnant and wish I'd taken the opportunity to show it off!

[mamicka]

Sarah, your post is beautiful. Thanks for sharing this.

>I am, quite literally, full of life right now and I'm gonna flaunt it.

That's exactly how I felt as well.

[mamicka]

>I especially love tight clingy tops that show off that belly.

I do to. I found myself wearing a lot of my non-maternity tops just for this reason.

>I WISH I could think about my body the same way now as I did when I was pregnant. I loved every curve.

Ditto. I didn't always feel great (nausea, etc), but I loved my body while pregnant.

[Raidra]

I haven't read all the posts in response to the original post, just glanced to see if anyone had replied to what I said, so forgive me if someone else has said the same thing.

I was always overweight as a child (still am). My mother was overweight growing up, too. Her mother let her wear horrible, disgusting clothes, and she was made fun of all through school. It wasn't that my mother had bad taste, just that her mother wouldn't buy nice clothes for her. She always talks about how one year she only had two pairs of pants, one of which was maroon and a size or two small, so her belly hung out over the waistband. She was teased mercilessly, and even when she became thin over the course of a summer, when she went back to school one boy commented, "Weren't you that fat girl with the maroon pants? You must've lost 100 lbs!"

I don't recall being teased a whole lot in school, but there were definite instances. I'm not very smart when it comes to dressing well, so I've always relied on other people giving me gentle advice about whether something looks good or not. I think because my mother made such an effort to make sure I always dressed well, despite being overweight, I didn't get teased as much as her.

If I could do something to ensure that my children don't get teased because of the way they look, I most certainly will. I've had friends that were anorexic whose mothers commented incessantly on their weight, when they weren't fat at all. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, when you're heading out the door and you see that your daughter's clothes don't fit well, you take her aside and very nicely suggest that she change into something else. I know I would like someone to tell me that I should change, rather than looking like a fat slob while out in public. My mother did that for me, and she also made sure I knew that it was who I was inside that was important. She made it clear that she had no objection with me, but that kids are mean and she was trying to spare me some pain.

I think this may be similar to the over-praising we're doing with our children. I read an article recently about how everyone gets trophies and people praise their kids for every little thing, so that children stop feeling the need to try their hardest. If they expect that they'll get praise for the tiniest effort, then why should they make a big effort? These kids will be in for a rude awakening when they get older. I think it's the same thing with wearing inappropriate clothes.. parents don't want to hurt their children's feelings, but someone will sooner or later. I'd rather it be a gentle comment made by a loving parent than some jerk on the street.

I do appreciate everyone's right to feel the way they do.. I just wanted to clarify what I was trying to say in my first post.


ETA: I also want to add that a lot of my objections with young girls wearing skimpy clothes is the fact that older men are oogling them. I see it all the time with my young (15) cousin who wears very revealing outfits. I see men in their 40s staring at her, which is so disgusting. That's why I'd never let my daughter show more than 1" of belly (and have similar restrictions on other body parts), regardless of her weight.

[sntm]

Sarah, that's beautiful! I'm going to copy the Whitman quote, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[gour0]

"(for example, things like "what a good girl, you're so beautiful", linking being good and being pretty together)."
It seems that here in the South they skip the link and jump to the finish! I have heard more than one admonishment to stop BEING ugly. And, used to have a friend who said, "Be Pretty" as a farewell. Like saying, "Be good."

[sweetbasil]

>It's gonna take some chutzpa to wear the thing
>but whether or not others "approve" of me doing so doesn't
>concern me. I am, quite literally, full of life right now and
>I'm gonna flaunt it.

Good for you, Sarah. I applaud your attitude and perspective, and might just get my own maternity bikini the next time around ;)

[kitmama]

"Ugly" in the south not only means unattractive- it is also used to describe bad behavior. This stems from the belief that bad behavior IS unattractive. Hence, when you hear a Southerner admonish a child "don't be ugly", they aren't talking about physical ugliness- they are talking about behavioral ugliness.

I grew up with my Southern Grandmother telling me not to "be ugly", and I always knew what she meant. I never ever equated it with physical attractiveness, except in the sense that my bad behavior was MAKING me unattractive, so I'd better cut it out.

Now, "be pretty"? I've never heard that one before.

[NancyJ_redo]

Love them. Is there anything more beautiful than a pregnant woman? 'Nuff said.

[macassi]

To this day, my mother will tell me "that's not the most flattering color on you" or "it's time to throw that shirt out -- it's looking worn." No one else will tell you the truth quite like your mother. Like many have said, I don't want to develop an image problem with my daughter, but I would like her to know that she can get an honest appraisal from me. I know that if I ask my mother "do these pants make me look fat?" she will answer whether the pants enhance my image or hurt it, regardless of my size. And, yes, I do believe that some people can choose clothes that are more flattering for them -- there are people who shouldn't bare their bellies in the way that they do. There are other styles that would enhance their look.

[tippy]

In my opinion there is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman. If she happens to feel more comfortable having her belly out then so be it. Then again, I also think women should feel free to breastfeed wherever they chose. Remember Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair? There was a lot of flack over that at the time and she was STUNNING!!!

[McQ]

6th and 7th graders with thongs??? Call me uptight but you've got to be kidding me. I am so not ok with that.

OMG - I just turned into my mother!

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[jubilee]

My son is a seventh grader, and I can't believe some of the clothing I've seen some girls wear. And these are the same girls that years from now will complain that they are viewed as mindless sex objects!