Your Opinion on Homeschooling

[Kieransmom]

I have received the best advice from all BBB members so DH thought I should throw this one at you to help us out.

We currently live in Delaware where the public school system is terrible. Moving out of state is not an option which would be my ideal. I've been told by friends of mine who are either teachers or have had children go through the DE private school systems that in order to get into a decent private school you "should" get your kid into a great preschool. This is why DS is only 14 months old and I'm discussing this already. :-)

DH thinks I need other opinions because he says I am jaded to homeschooling because of my upbringing and previous experiences. I grew up in a township where kids were very spoiled and privelidged, not to mention total brats. (not all of them but most of them) So it was tough to fit in there. My only memory of homeschooled children was of a family who arrived to High School after being homeschooled their whole lives and they never ever fit in. This may not be the norm...or is it? I don't want to homeschool DS and have this happen to him.

I need to know if there are any of you out there who were homeschooled and what was your experience when you went to public/private school and/or college? Both DH and I are leaning very much towards private school but it's so expensive. We don't want to feel like we're selling our souls to send DS and our future children to school and college.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I'm pretty certain we are homeschooling. I am not homeschooling for the school duration, but I do think I will for the elementary school age. North Carolina has a HUGE homeschool network though.

My husband works for the largest private company in the world and evidently the story goes that the owners wife wanted a private academy so he built her one. It, at this time, doesn't take children until they are like 11 -12 and I would ideally like to get our children in there.

I have many reasons to want to homeschool, but I think adopting internationally has thrown me over the edge to do it.

It is such a personal decision that I couldn't dare convince or not convince anyone it is for them...


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Marisa6826]

We're kind of in the same boat here. I would have never chosen to have live in the town we ended up in because of the schools. But we ran out of time, needed a place to live and the neighbourhood itself is wonderful. The schools just SUCK.

From what I understand, the elementary school here is OK, but the middle and highschools are horrible. Currently, according to the School Report, only 40% of graduating seniors in this district go onto a four year college. That is appalling when you consider that 60% of my over $11K taxes go to fund the school.

So we plan on sending Sophie and her sister to elementary, see what happens, and unless things change big time, bite the bullet and send them to private school.

Have you looked into Charter Schools? They unfortunately don't have any here (they were HUGE in Hoboken where we moved from). It's not appropriate for us, but what about parochial schools? I know that some of them offer scholarships based on your income.

I personally wouldn't home school. It's my feeling that the kids need social development as much as mental stimulation and book schooling. I also don't trust myself to do it properly. Besides, I think I would lose my mind if I had to stay home for another ten plus years ;).

-m

[AngelaS]

We homeschool. Last year Adrienne was in kindergarten and I'm getting excited about starting first grade with her in a few weeks.

Our city has a HUGE homeschooling network. The schools here are decent, but very liberal which we are not. I know many people whose kids have been homeschooled a few years, until high school or all the way thru and socially and acedemically they're almost ALL great kids. One of the options here is that you hs your child in the courses you want and they can go to 'enrichment' classes put on by the school or participate in the school's sports/music/arts stuff. Right now we're not doing that but may when dd get's older and we want her involved in music.

Socially, the homeschool kids I know are doing great. I can think of one family who's children are not, but their parents are social misfits too (oops, I said that outloud...lol). When I was in school, we had to be careful about 'peer pressure' and who we let influence us. I frankly see no difference between 'socialization' and 'peer pressure'. Both can be either good or bad. :D

[redhookmom]

My first thought is that there are many children who do not "fit in" when they get to highschool despite spending 9 years in the system. I do not think that a child's ability to socailize is dependent upon the amount of time they spend in a structured school setting.

A friend of mine just sent here dd to 9th grade after homeschooling for grades k-8. She loved her freshman year and has many friends. She is one of the nicest kids I know and can carry on a conversation in a social setting better then most adults.

My friend has 3 other children that will be homeschooled until highschool as well. They are very social kids and a pleasure to be around.

Why don't you attend a local homeschool meeting and get a feel for the network in your community?

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

You actually sum up my thoughts 100% there in the no difference between "peer pressure and soicalization". I couldn't have said it better. Every child who I have ever met...with no exception...who has been homeschooled has been a child that I enjoy being around.

They seem level headed, confident and very well adjusted...but we are in a huge neighborhood and are very active so my children couldn't escape being social if they wanted to.
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[MommytoDylan]

Before staying home with DS, I worked for the Dept. of Education as a consultant to homeschooling families. I wasn't really very "pro" homeschooling when I took the job, but my time there really changed my mind. I think how successful it is really depends on the child and the parent that will be doing the majority of the teaching.

The most successful cases I've seen have been with an enthusiastic, growing, learning, and emotionally stable parent. Homeschooling is alot of work for the parent and one must be organized and constantly learning to keep up with all you'd want to know to give your child a solid education. Also, if a parent is choosing it for the wrong reasons (ie. to keep the child dependent and accessible to meet the parent's emotional needs--I've seen this more than a few times) the results are disasterous!

If you are involved in a homeschooling network there is no reason that socialization would be affected. We had classes all during the week, sports, music, field trips, hands on labs, etc. Kids were involved in clubs and camps too.

HTH,
Meredith

[Kieransmom]

I know this sounds naive but what is a Charter School? I know there is one in the north part of Delaware but the concept is new to me. Can you explain? I didn't want to look dumb so I never asked anyone!

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Marisa6826]

It is my understanding (and there are some parents who are teachers that can better explain) that Charter Schools are primarily founded by parents who create the school's "charter" and who determine the curriculum. Real teachers are hired, and it's kind of run like a private school, but funded by public dollars.

I asked here once before and Jamie (Kayla's Mom) was much better able to explain it.

-m


ETA - I found this online: http://www.uscharterschools.org/pub/uscs_docs/o/movement.htm

[Judegirl]

We're pretty sure that we plan to home-school. My friend's sister home-schooled her children and proved to me that home-schooled kids can be bright, outgoing, socially successful, well-adjusted and well-behaved.

The socialization issue is up to you; home-schooling does not mean that your children are recluses. Many school districts allow home-schooled kids to be involved in the same extra-curricular activities, and if that's not a possibility, home-schooling networks are popping up all over the place and can provide the same opportunities.

I'm very much in support of home-schooling, when it's done by qualified and relatively well-adjusted parents! (We like to think we're close enough to both...LOL)


Jude

P.S. Is it my sleep deprivation again, or does "homeschooling" look awfully funny when you type it over and over again??

[llcoddington]

I was homeschooled from grades third through seventh. I HATED it! I cannot even express that feeling strong enough. I was one of those kids who loved school. The structure, being in a classroom, the competition, etc. I did fine socially and academically when I went back to school (private 8th grade and then public high school).

I have a younger brother who needed to be homeschooled. He has some pretty severe learning disabilities and the one on one that my mom was able to give him got him to the place he is today. Living on his own, driving, etc.

We do not plan to homeschool based on my experience. Our first choice would be private elementary (if there is a good one in our area) and then public high school. HOWEVER, if Lauren or any of her siblings need to be homeschooled for any number of reasons, we will do it.

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[redhookmom]

I thought of this thread when I read an article in a local paper today. "Does Homeschooling Really Work" The reporter interviewed an admissions counselor at a local college. The counselor said that 1 percent of applications come from homeschooled students. Her experience has been that these people are wonderful students. She said that she felt homeschooled children have studied more areas in depth and that matches the way students are taught in college.

[Kieransmom]

Does it state the total percentage of homeschooled kids that go off to college? (not just her college)

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

Does it state the total percentage of homeschooled kids that go off to college? (not just her college)

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

Thank you Lana. I'm definitely interested in this side of the spectrum.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

Thank you Lana. I'm definitely interested in this side of the spectrum.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[emilyf]

We are giving a lot of thought to homeschooling as well. A few months ago I was one of those people who thought it was kind of odd, worried about socialization, all the general stereotypes lots of people have. But, I did some reading and research and totally changed my mind. There are some terrific books out there-I found plenty at my library-that opened my eyes a lot. There are so many things to be gained by homeschooling, as far as self directed learning, family involvement, travel and independent study opportunities etc. that more than make up for some of the things lost by not going a more traditional route. I have 2 cousins who were homeschooled while living on a boat, and they are now in highly competitive academic private schools and doing just fine, academically and socially. I think if you are doing it for the right reasons and with enthusiasm, it can be an excellent choice and not just one of last resort either. There are rumblings of a charter school in our area, which we may consider but I think at this point we are leaning strongly towards at least giving homeschool a try.
Emily \r\nmom of Charlie born 11/02

[jubilee]

I just wanted to say that my 12 year old son (7th grade) has a few friends that are homeschooled. In our area, you can even do a part homeschool- part public school situation. One of the boys goes to public middle school for math, science and physical ed but then leaves midday and his parents homeschool him for the rest of the subjects. Another boy is homeschooled and still participates in the public school sports- he has done basketball and football. Since your tax dollars already go the school, they let you personalize what you want to get out of it.

Another thought is to look at private schools and see if they discount for volunteering at the school. I know a mom that works in the school library everyday for 2 hours and gets half off tuiton.

[AngelaS]

No the percentage of HS kids that go to college is FAR higher than 1%. I know of the 10 kids I can name off the top of my head that were hs, only 1% DIDN'T go to college.

In our city, I know of one 14 year old boy who's starting college full time this fall. He's been in the national geography and spelling bees too....

[ddmarsh]

If you do enough research there is loads of information, including stats, on homeschooling. Not too many years ago college admissions offices weren't quite sure what to do with a homeschooling applicant but in recent years have actually been courting many of them. On average the SAT score of a homeschooled student is a few points above others.

[MartiesMom2B]

If Martie doesn't get into the local magnet programs, I will definitely think about homeschooling. I don't want to send her to private school, because I don't want her going to a religious private school and we can't afford her to go to the other private schools.

My aunt homeschools my cousin and will do so until my cousin goes to highschool. My cousin is very mature, has impecable manners, has great values, and is extremely bright. I think that the only problem that my aunt was having was when they started to get into higher level math, but my cousin was enrolled in Kumon and has excelled in math.

Sonia http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/character/1/character03.gif
Proud Mommy to Martie

[ginalc]

Hi Michelle,

This is a GREAT topic!

I've been learning about homeschooling for 4 years now. I've attended local homeschool conferences, subscribed to a homeschool magazine, and asked tons of questions. I've learned alot and STILL have tons of questions but it's interesting and I think it's making me a better parent. Haven't actually homeschooled my 13 yr. old but I've considered it and I plan to homeschool my little ones, ages 3.5 yrs. and 19 months.

I'll repeat what Angela wrote above, and say that I, too, find our local (Iowa) homeschool support groups to be very organized and helpful in accessing information. Many ask that you sign a Statement of Faith to join. By joining you receive the newsletters and group information, and you can attend the local conferences and Share- Fairs. All are helpful in choosing curriculums and gathering information. This past year one of the monthly meetings allowed parents to hear from high school age homeschoolers who had been homeschooled. They discussed the various reasons they were homeschooled, and their own experiences. Very cool!

I've really changed my opinion and perspective. When DD started school some of her friends were pulled out to homeschool. I thought "Well gosh, why don't homeschool parents just devote their time at the local schools, place those GREAT kids in the classroom setting, and then our public schools would be better!" Since then, I've devoted much of own time at my daughter's schools, sent my own great kid into the school setting and realized that I was wrong. Many of the classrooms I've worked in have SO many problem students, other basic needs are difficult to meet.

Some parents homeschool for only one or two years. I have pages and pages of information I've gathered, all in a 3-ring binder. I list local phone numbers, interesting websites, curriculum choices I like and may fit my needs. I've read several books and suggest that you do the same. I'll include an interesting article for reference.

Only you can decide if this is the correct choice for you and your family. If your DH doesn't support you now, attending a conference with you, gathering information and discussing the choices may help him see your side.

Good Luck! :)

gina, mom to 3

www.home-ed-magazine.com

Article: How to Start Homeschooling in 8 Easy Steps: http://www.homeschoolingtoday.com/HS101.htm

[kristine_elen]

We are thinking about it, too. I think it used to have much more of a stigma. I think in the past it was mainly done by very religious people who didn't want their children exposed to the things they'd be exposed to in regular schools. These kids also were never allowed to see any movies (even Disney) or listen to pop music, etc. (Not really making a judgement call here, just stating what I observed.) Now I think it's done by people who are more in the mainstream but who are just not satisfied with the education provided in their local schools. I think if you can network with other homeschoolers for field trips, etc. (and have your child maybe do sports with local park service or whatever) then socialization will work itself out.

[llcoddington]

Michelle,

I wanted to add that we had a large homeschooling network and I had lots of friends. I also played city sports- basketball and softball. For me, the problem wasn't lack of socialization. I just enjoyed going to school!

Every child is so very different. I had friends who loved being homeschooled.

As far as academics, homeschooling does usually produce students who excel. Two of my homeschooled friends went to college at 16 and one got into med school at 19 and is now an ob-gyn.

My honest opinion is that homeschooling should only be done if you are sure your child will thrive in that environment. Some children do and some don't.

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[Dscvrlifewith3]

Dear Michelle,

My husband and I grew up polar opposites it seems when it came to education. I had a very expensive private school education in a very fundamentalist christian school, he was from rural Alabama, went to a small public school. We both recieved excellent educations, but his prepared him better for college than mine did in many ways. My husband in his former life was also a school teacher, working mainly middle and highschools in the inner city. So when we built our home, we moved to an area that was outside the city limits with good schools. We decided with student loans, medical expenses, and other bills, private school was not a luxury we could afford and were really not impressed with.
Two years ago I packed my little girl up to send her to one of the best elementary schools in our area. We had a wonderful year. A teacher than every parent would want their child to have. A former reading specialist, still young and with the times but with 20 years experience. My daughter flourished under her and for what she learned in K5 has been the foundation to her reading success. Then last year I showed up for the first day of school and met the teacher and took a look around the classroom. The teacher, burned out, older and this was her last year teaching had been stacked with students who had failed first grade, transferred from the inner city, and she had more than five boys who had adhd/add or other learning problems. I was the room mother and was able to see first hand on a weekly basis the lack of attention my child received because she was a good student. In fact my daughter had the highest scores in reading and math and all standardized tests in her classroom. While her counterparts, were below the 50% mark. My daughter was bored and I could not get anywhere with the counselor or principal at the school.
I've never been opposed to homeschooling. In fact I support it and wish more parents would take an active role in their children's education. The decision almost seemed too easy for us, when at the end of the year, I decided that I was no longer and neither was my husband going to let a government or failing education system educate our daughter. We were bright, intelligent people and we definitely wanted to have our hand in the pot when it came to our children's education. So now we are homeschooling. I have to say that there is something that pushed us over the edge, that was No Child Left Behind. A decieving education bill signed by the majority of our representavis without fulling reading or understanding its implications. Afer fully investigating NCLB, there is no way I would continue to put my child in public education where the exceptional child will be left behind or the child who struggles with the work is lost in the shuffle. (something that politicians say does not happen)

Our current plan is to create our own curriculm under a cover school that will allow this. (cover schools are required by our state) Most of our guidance has come from The Well Trained Mind. I highly suggest it if you consider homeschooling. Also both my husband and I read "Dumbing Us Down" by John Taylor Gatto which confirmed everything we had read, or that my husband had experienced in his own teaching career. Right now our intetion is to homeschool our daughter until grade 5 or 6 and them put her one of the private schools here. With our boys, we are undecided on if we will homeschool them from the beginning or try private or public school with them. Luckily, we have a few years until we have to decide for them.

Take care,

[kransden]

Where I live the public school system is beyond horrible. I don't have the patience to home school, so dd will go to private. Where I grew up, only people that were home schooled were religious weirdoes, and more importantly the kids didn't get a very good education. Now there are large networks of home schooled kids. My neighborhood was having a large fight with city hall. Several of the moms were able to bring their kids to watch the process because they were home schooled - civics in action so to speak. I personally feel if you are up to the task of doing it right, home schooling can be very good for your kids.

Charter schools I am not as impressed with. The learning might be better but the socio-economic problems are still there. My friend's dd, and I am not making this up, was having a pretend game of slitting people's throats with a plastic knife. Maybe I am being naive thinking 5 yr old girls don't normally do that, but I was horrified. I know she didn't get that from TV or cartoons either. It is so hard to be a parent.



Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[starrynight]

I haven't read everything. I am homeschooling my kids for as long as they and I both enjoy it. At any time when I can't do it any longer or my kids ask to go to public school I will stop. I don't like the current public school state and I don't really want to put them in private school either (not that I can afford a good one anyway!). I don't agree with the NCLB act and the constant testing etc so I am doing things my way :).

[Kieransmom]

Hmm....DS is a people person. He's happiest when he's not home. Not to say that he's not happy at home but if he gets restless at home I jump in the car and go somewhere. That entertains him for a while.

I could only imagine that it's pretty hard to teach a child. I don't know if I have the patience for it. I'll have to ask around town and see what they all do.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

The pressure from my family is going to be tough. In the school system that I went through the top 5% of the class (wasn't a huge graduating class-168 kids) usually goes to an Ivy Leage School. Not all the time but usually. At the end of the school year they handed out a newsletter that let the class know where everyone was going to college. I think only 1 person from the whole class was undecided. There was a lot of pressure to perform and my family is very much in that mindset. I know I will be under a great deal of pressure no matter what I decide.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

Thank you thank you thank you all. I didn't realize the school situation was nationwide. Delaware is terrible because the taxes are so low here. (believe it or not our property taxes last year were $650...yes, you heard that right) And no sales tax. And what suffers? Yes, the schools. DH and I had a nice talk last night and we're hearing that there is a large homeschooling network in Delaware. We had pretty much crossed homeschooling off our list but now we're really considering it.
Thank you all so much! I knew I could get some great answers from some great Mommies!

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03