How do you prep a toddler for a sibling?

[Marisa6826]

(Cross posted in the Toddler Lounge)

We haven't really "told" Sophie about her sister since being only 19m old, I assumed that her comprehension wouldn't be adequate.

However, I was laying down on the couch yesterday in her corral, while she was watching Baby Einstein. She came over to me, lifted my T shirt, patted my belly, and then pulled back down the shirt before walking away.

I was kind of astounded. So when I was laying down (again!) later in the afternoon, she did it again. This time I said, "baby!". So her new trick is coming over to pat the baby. I asked her if she wanted to give the baby a kiss and she did!

We have a Madeline doll for her, but she has no interest in it at all. Sophie's much, much, much more interested in her animals.

Am I supposed to be doing anything else? I rented one of those Stork Radios so I can hear the baby's heart beat (until I can start feeling her move - I know, paranoid Mother). Should I let Sophie listen?

-m

[khakismom]

We waited until I was obviously PG (ie, big round belly) and then talked alot about the baby coming. Someone sent us a book abut "My Baby Sister" and we would read that alot. But that was it. We just talked alot about the baby coming, how she would be a sister, where the baby would sleep, and how she could help with the baby. We never had any problems of jealously or anything like that. Ellen slipped right into Kathleen's life and routine no problem.

Kathleen used to love talking to my belly, showing it toys, reading stories, and kissing it too. And I think it's amazing that Sophie kind of sensed that there was a baby in your belly. Soooo cute. I think she will be a wonderful sister! :)

[starrynight]

That is so cute! Alex knew I was pregnant with Eliza before I did, kids are intuitive like that. :)

Daria was 18 months old when Eliza was born, she didn't really get it up until the very end of my pregnancy and even then she didn't really get it until E was born. But what I did was just mention that I was going to have another baby and bring her home and did a lot of playing with dolls and things like that. Whenver I bought something for E or we got a gift and Daria was curious about the carseat and everything I explained they were for the baby and let her put her doll in there. As soon as E came home from the hospital Daria has loved her, it worked out pretty good!

[McQ]

Declan pats my belly or boob (hey any mound will do!) and says "baby, baby, baby" as he's patting it. But at almost 16 months, he has no clue that his world is about to be rocked. We say things to him about him becoming a big brother, or talk about sharing things with the baby. But other than that, I don't know how to prepare him since he's so young. I'll just try to shower him with love when the baby gets here and try to have him be my helper - not feel out of the loop. Like maybe sitting with us when I BF or something. I'm up for ideas & suggesstions!

We have good friends who just had a baby this week and has a DD is 21 months. The little girl has been to the hospital and gets these big elephant tears when she sees her parents holding her little brother. She even told her parents that she didn't want the baby to come with them. I really don't think I could handle that. Especially if Declan will be too young to communicate that to me.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[cara1]

DS (2 1/2 next month) pats my boob too! But usually my belly. But also his own belly, or Daddy's, or a lot of women. Apparently DS is also pregnant. But he caresses my belly and says "baby". If I ask him if he wants to talk to the baby, he comes close and calls, "Babeee? Babeee?" I bought him a doll (in pink by FP called Little Mommy...what century are we in?). It came with a toy bottle that he put into my belly button to feed the baby. Sometimes he tickles the baby, too. He'll kiss my belly, and say good night to the baby when we say our good nights. We constantly say, "Where's the baby?" "Are you gonna be a big brother?" "Are you gonna LOVE the baby?" "Will you help take care of the Baby?" Sometimes if I say, "Do you want to see the baby kick?" he says no, and puts my shirt back down, but other times he says, "More baby," and lifts up my shirt. He's not very verbal at all, but I'm trying to bring up babies a lot more now. I bought a book by Joanna Cole called I'm the Big Brother or something like that (comes in a sister version too) and he really likes it. (One line says something like, "I'm a big brother, I can sing to the baby", and DS sort of sings at that point. Very cute.) I posted a thread on books a few weeks ago. I also found a Golden Book from my own childhood called Baby Looks that he really likes. Sometimes he's into his doll, sometimes he isn't. But we're also stressing Baby animals, etc. Actually, now anything that is little is a Baby according to him (including small bowel movements..."baby doo-doo!") I also registered him for a "Sibling class" at our hospital a few weeks before my due date, but I'm not sure it will do any good. It's a one hour thing with a tour of L&D and the nursery and a video. They said I should bring a doll and they will go over diapering, etc., and bring a baby picture of DS. It apparently ends with a Q&A which should be interesting since it's geared towards toddlers!

Anyway, since I'm still preggo, and baby isn't here yet, I can't say if any of this has worked, but that's what we're doing. Good luck.

[cinrein]

I am constantly amazed by what kids pick up on. Sooo cute about Sophie patting your belly. You should try for a picture of that.

No advice, other than try your best to schedule some Sophie time once baby is here, which I'm sure you know. My nephew was just 25 mos when his sister was born and unfortunately gave his Mom the silent treatment for a few days. His fascination with breastfeeding won him over and he used to sit with his Mom and breastfeed his beanie babies while she fed the baby!

Cindy and Anna February 2003

[Marisa6826]

> The little girl has been to the hospital and
>gets these big elephant tears when she sees her parents
>holding her little brother.

OH NOOO! That's what I'm afraid of!!! Sophie will get a lot of extra Mommy/Sophie time. Last time poor Willy (one of the dogs) was completely upset. Now I have to worry about TWO pigdogs getting displaced plus Sophie!

Oh, and Sophie was patting my boob yesterday. Apparently she likes the feel of the lace. D'oh!

-m

[brubeck]

I have heard of that kind of thing. When Amy came to see me at the hospital DH called from his cell just before they entered the building. This gave me 5 minutes to make sure that Andrew was in his bassinet and the bassinet was not next to the bed. Amy came in and sat with me for a few minutes, then I took her over to show Andrew to her. After a few more minutes she was running around the room wanting to play and then I picked up Andrew. She didn't seem bothered so I started to nurse him. She was curious but as long as she could sit on the bed with me and talk to me she didn't seem to mind. I did the same thing the next day when she came to visit so that her first views of her brother were NOT of his taking my attention.

[StaceyKim]

My DS is almost 15 months and I am with due with #2 VERY soon. He would come over to me when he was a little over 12 months and touched my belly and I said "Be gentle, there is a baby in there" and ever since that day he comes over and pats my belly and says "bay bee". I ask him where the baby is and he runs over and touches my belly. He also lifts my shirt to see my belly. He knows what a baby is when we are out and about he'll point to a baby and say "bay bee". So, who knows what he understands but he will soon find out! I take him into the new nursery and show him the crib for the baby. He loves going in there before bedtime.


Below is a good article about preparing your toddler for a new baby:

http://www.parentsplace.com/expert/family/qas/0,,240125_105929,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=9567050

ETA:grammar!

[McQ]

I like Helen's idea about the hospital. And I've also heard that when the little one comes home to make sure that DH is the one to bring the baby in the house. We'll be doing that one too.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[beckyr88]

I am so worried about this too. A lot of good advice here--looks like I could get a big sister book and a baby doll for her.

Stella is also in *love* with my belly. Sometimes I think it's her substitute for nursing, but she really will come and hug me and put her cheek on my belly and kiss (or lick! ) it. So maybe it's something else! It is cute to hear about the other little ones so interested in the belly.