When do I tell boss at new job that I'm pg?

[mommy_someday]

Hi, I'm a first-timer here and quit my job of six years last month in part due to how they treated me when I told them I was pg (they decided I was not manager-material anymore and demoted me, although I had no prior warnings and had been a GOOD mgr for nearly two years. Of course, they came up with some other bogus reason, but I saw through that...)

Anyway, I've been hunting for a job since I quit over a month ago and I finally found one (hooray!) at a local hospital. I talked to several people (friends, placement agencies, and a labor & employment lawyer), all of whom said NOT to tell anyone I was pg at interviews because they would unconsciously discriminate. So I didn't. I start my new job next Monday 7/26 and I am just past the 3-month mark, so I'm not really showing yet (things are just fitting a little snug! :O) I don't know when is a good time to tell my new boss that I'm pg and due in January. I'm stressing pretty hard about this one since I've felt less than truthful the whole time I've been interviewing.

Any advice or suggestions?

Erica, EDD 1/18/05 #1

[C99]

I told them when they offered me the job and I accepted. At that point, if they rescinded their offer because I was PG, they would have been screwed. Frankly, I was amazed that no one guessed, as I was 5 months pregnant and very definitely showing.

[jk3]

Personally I would wait. I told everyone at work at the 5 month mark for many reasons. I wasn't really showing until then anywat so I waited until the last possible moment. You do not need to disclose personal information while interviewing and I believe they can't ask about your family either.

Jenn
DS 6/03

[babymama]

I don't have experience in a situation like yours, but wanted to let you know that I was similarly stressing pretty hard about this very same thing about a year ago when I was pg. So I'm sending you hugs. In the hopes that my experience might be helpful, I'll share a few details.

I told my boss at about the 5 1/2 month mark (give or take a week, can't totally remember). I started showing late so that bought me some time, but I was VERY nervous about sharing my news bc some of the other women in the office had horror stories about their experience.

I didn;t know how much time I wanted to take and wasn't sure when I wanted to start my leave. So I wasn;t even sure how to have the conversation. The way it worked out is that I called my personnel dept contact and asked what my rights were re: maternity leave, FMLA. She helped me calculate the approximate max. time I could take with my saved up annual/sick leave (which I had to use in order to be paid during my leave). So I knew that I had about 14-16 weeks available, and decided to take 14 in order to have a cushion for dr.s visits, etc when I started back at work. I was mostly worried that my boss would ask really specific details about when I was going to start the leave, when I would return, what kind of work schedule I'd have upon the return (all of which I didn;t know the answers to).

On the day I decided to tell the boss, I watched his office for a time that would be good to pop in (when no one else was in there). So I just basically sat down and after some chit-chat about how he was preparing to be a grandfather said, "I have good news to share....I'm having a baby." Got a happy reaction from the boss, he asked when I was due, gender, etc (and compared that with his daughter). Told him I wanted him to be the first person at the office to know. And let him know I was thinking of taking 14 weeks and that I would work right up until I had the baby (without giving a date). That was it.

Don't know if your situation is similar, but another dilemma for me was deciding which boss to tell first. I have an immediate boss or "team leader" (who approves my leave) and an overall big boss (my boss's boss). I finally decided to talk to the overall big boss first, mainly bc my team leader (a mother herself) was the one that other moms in the office had problems with (she's been rigid and uncompromising with other maternity leave requests). I decided that rigid-uncompromising lady has to answer to the big boss, so told him first hoping to get him "on my side". it worked out well for me in the end.

All of this is very hard. I wish you the best, and please update us!

Mama to Santiago, born 11/16/03

[amp]

Like some of the others, I stressed about when to tell my boss too, but I got a very positive reaction and didn't sense any problem with it once I told. Also, I worked with a gal that got pregnant and then took a new job. They didn't even bat an eye when she told them she was pregnant that first week. They may not have liked it, but they couldn't do anything but be happy for her at that point. Tell when you feel comfortable doing so.

[mommy_someday]

Thank you so much for your responses! I have never been in this situation before and it's scary and stressful (I'm not the type of person who likes creating waves, and to me, this is a huge wave!). I feel a little more comfortable with waiting until I'm established and have had time to prove that I am a hard-working, valuable employee. Your responses have help ease some of the guilt I've been feeling.

Thanks again!

Erica, EDD 1/18/05 #1

[jennifer13]

One thing to keep in mind, it's been my experience as both a manager and a pregnant employee most employers are not completely surprised when a woman tells them they're pregnant. Especially if it's a high-volume employer like a hospital, frankly, they're probably used to it. My POINT is, don't feel guilty. I would suggest waiting until you get going at the job and prove yourself valuable, then they will be more invested in negotiating the terms with you. Good luck!


Jennifer
Mom to Norah 5/23/03

[lukkykatt]

I got pg about 2 months after I had started a new job, and I was stressed about telling too! I waited as long as I could to tell - in my case that was around 15 or 16 weeks.

I would wait as long as you could. And whatever you think you are going to do, when anyone asks you if you are coming back, the answer is "yes"! That is what I found to be the first question asked.

I also had the dilemma of who to tell first (like a pp had mentioned). I worked "for" someone, but she was not my boss. My "boss" had nothing to do with me, other than the fact that she was my boss. Then there was her boss - that is who I told.