View Full Version : Did anyone else have this problem and know why?
mommy_someday
07-22-2004, 12:20 AM
Okay, this is going to sound really, REALLY stupid...I cannot bring myself to decide on a girl name for my baby. I already have a boy name picked out and have for a while, but I keep changing my mind on the girl name. I thought that it might be because my DH and I jokingly said we were going to have two boys and then a girl (we know how silly this was!) and maybe I subconsiously feel like I have two chances to "get the name right" for a boy and only one for a girl - even though I consciously know how absurd that would be. Has anyone else had trouble with this? Even if it's reversed (trouble with choosing a boy's name). DH has basically given up asking me if I've settled on something and I'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me. Am I the only strange duck in the pond?
TIA!
Erica, EDD 1/18/05 #1
amazz
07-22-2004, 12:37 AM
I think am at the exact opposite end of the spectrum, thus probably just another type of strange duck. :) I have had some form of my kids names picked out since high school! I always knew I would have kids and so I started picking out names so I would be prepared. :) DH's input has been middle names for boys as he wanted to honor his father and brother. Girls names were left to me entirely. I have 3 first and middle names for each gender. I know--totally neurotic, but that's me!
Don't stress about not having a girl's name picked out (though you can use one of mine if you want :) ). Your baby isn't due until January--that gives you plenty of time. I know lots of people who didn't settle on a name until after they gave birth.
I know this didn't really answer your question, but I want you NOT to feel like there is something wrong with you. There isn't. You want a boy first so it is only natural to come up with a boy's name first.
BTW, did you find those announcements at Office Max?
Angela
EDD 10/15/04
mommy_someday
07-22-2004, 12:48 AM
Angela,
I did find them today! It said they were printed on vellum paper, rather than vellum included with regular cardstock, and it didn't really look like vellum from the pic on the box. But while I was there, I bought gold parchment paper (actually kind of a deep fall yellow shade), greeting card sized envelopes and plain vellum (found that in the aisle with the ink pens - who'd have thought?). I went to Michaels and bought some gauzy ribbon with gold trim and printed a test one today when I got home - very, VERY cute and so much cheaper than my other options. So I didn't end up using the kit from OM, but it certainly pointed me in the right direction - I don't know that I would have thought to go there without your suggestion!
BTW, not that I WILL use them, but what are your girl names out of curiosity?
Erica, EDD 1/18/05 #1
amazz
07-22-2004, 01:07 AM
Girls' names
Kami Allyse (that will be this baby if it is a girl)
Maegan Alexandra (will call her Mae or Lexi)
Whitney Amanda (not crazy about Amanda as a middle name but all the middle names start with A; that one might change if we get to that point.)
Boys' names (just in case you're curious about that too :) )
Nathaniel Alan (this baby if it is a boy)
Joshua Andrew
Kyle Alexander
There is no way I am having six kids but we haven't decided just how many we are having so in case we have 3 boys or 3 girls I want to be prepared. :) I didn't start out with the intention of using all A's for middle names, but Alan and Andrew were a must and I have always loved Alexandra as a middle name so it kind of got of hand. :)
HTH!
Angela
EDD 10/15/04
mommy_someday
07-22-2004, 01:22 AM
Nathaniel is my first boy pick, too! Although, the middle name on that one is Owen (it's a family name on my dad's side). My second boy's name is Logan Rhys (Reece) - DH picked the middle name on that one, and I have to say I was pretty happy with that choice. Kinda proud of him too, since he was open-minded enough to go with the Gaelic spelling!
As far as girls' names, I like Claire, Caroline, Natalie (although not if we have a Nathaniel - too confusing!), Hannah, Norah (although this sorta rhymes somewhat with our last name, so it sounds a little silly - too bad because it was my original choice), Mya and Brynn. I keep going back to Claire because it seems very classy to me, and if I pick that one then the middle name will probably be Ellyce or Elise (Alise - another funny coincidence! :O)
There are probably half a dozen others that I like, too, but I have so many in my head that I forget them. I don't know how people narrow this down!!! BTW I think Whitney is a cute pick!
Erica, EDD 1/18/05 #1
AngelaS
07-22-2004, 07:27 AM
As someone who's giving birth to her THIRD girl, I feel your pain!
The first name was easy. The second time around I said I wanted Gabrielle. Dh hated it. I suggested Cassia. He really hated that. I didn't budge and let him pick of those two. He finally agreed to Gabrielle TWO days before her due date, but he wasn't happy with her name and his lack of input.
So now we're naming number three. I have a favorite and he has a favorite. I think his is going to be the first and mine the middle..... Of course, MY name is the better one..... LOL
We went into the LDR with 2 boys names (we knew it would be a boy). We had waited 'til about 34 weeks before finally narrowing it down to those two. When DS was born, I decided he looked like a Payton vs. the other name, and voila, the decision was made. The only downside was that every nurse I had (7 total) asked what his name would be-- like we were odd for not having quite decided.
You're not strange. I've had a girl's name picked out since 6th grade when my dad told me what he wished he'd convinced my mom to name me. But for boys names... it was tough! Just take your time, and it will come to you!
I completely understand! We have a boy's name picked out but for the life of me we can't decide on a girl's name. Nothing is sticking. And I think it's because I have always thought I'd have 2 boys. But during our ultrasound I thought I saw nothing in the gender region (turned out the tech was looking at the bladder!) but it hit me like a ton of bricks that this baby might not be a boy. So now I'm coming around to the idea of a girl but having a hard time with names.
Good luck!
Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04
lukkykatt
07-22-2004, 09:45 AM
Hee hee - maybe you are having a boy! When I was pg the first time, I had a TON of boys' names, but could not pick a single girl's name. In fact, just hours before my water broke, there I was in bed and pouring over the baby name book. When we found out we had a boy, I figured that was the reason I couldn't think of a girl's name.
The second time around, it was the same thing. Although that time we did find out we were having a boy at my u/s. But up until then, no girls' names sounded good to me.
August Mom
07-22-2004, 09:57 AM
Yes. I thought for sure that we'd have a girl because we didn't have a girl's name. In L*D we were still discussing a girl's name. We had 5 boys' names that we liked. Our problem was that DH and I couldn't agree. I had lots of names I liked, but DH didn't like any of them. I tended toward slightly unusual girls' names, while DH was in super traditional mode. Plus, he refused to consider any name beginning with "k" or with a "k" sound. That wiped out several names I liked. We finally agreed on a name that neither of us was that excited about.
lizajane
07-22-2004, 11:38 AM
if this baby is a boy, i haven't a CLUE what his name will be. i had two girl names picked out FOREVER. dh thought we would have two girls. i thought we would have two girls. if this baby is a boy and we have two boys, it'll be just my luck. (not that it would be bad to have two boys! but that i have two PERFECT girl names and never had ANY perfect boy names until i FINALLY named my son!)
we like levi (long "i" sound), but SO many people have been SO ugly about it. and we like eli, but i just can't seem to get my heart around it. it just doesn't seem right for MY kid. (i love it for other kids!)
so here is to hoping that this one is a girl.
(and by the way, we would have used schuyler for a girl, even though it is a man's name, but obviously we decided to go ahead and use it for our little man!)
marinkitty
07-22-2004, 12:13 PM
This was me when I was pregnant with Mia! We had a boy's name picked out right from the beginning and it never changed. We had a girl's name picked out too but I soured on it and then once I started picking it apart DH did too (now we cannot BELIEVE we almost named Mia that!) and then we could not come up with anything we loved.
We talked about it endlessly. I looked at our baby name book 1,001 times as if a brand new name would pop out of the page at me. I hated all of DH's suggestions, he shot all mine down. I had floated Mia early on and DH thought it was okay and so did I and then it just fell by the wayside. It didn't capture either of us at first. I kind of "found it" again in my 8th month and it started to really grow on us. By the time we were in L&D we knew if the baby was a girl it would be Mia (but seriously if I hadn't been 5 days past my due date we wouldn't have known), but we didn't settle on the middle name (my maternal grandmother's) until about 3 hours after she was born.
I am already totally obsessing over what this baby will be if a girl. And I'm only 5 weeks along. I just feel like I have to get started thinking about it since it took forever last time and now we've used up the one we ended up agreeing on (and, by the way, we love her name and have never regretted it). We still have the boy name from last time! I figure that guarantees me another girl.
Sooo, long winded way to say you SHOULD NOT feel odd. I think it is very common to be stuck on one or the other. And if you have a girl you will figure out a name you love even if it isn't until she arrives!
Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03)
aa2mama
07-22-2004, 12:51 PM
You're not the only one! Very early in my pregnancy, I had a girl's name picked out, but I had a gut feeling that I was having a boy. The ultrasound confirmed that indeed it was a boy. I couldn't for the life of me settle on a boy's name and all of the names that I liked, DH wouldn't agree on. We finally settled on a name while I was in labor on the way to the hospital! Anyway, there's nothing wrong with you. You still have plenty of time to decide and even then, when you meet the baby a certain name might really seem to fit him or her.
mommy_someday
07-22-2004, 12:52 PM
I'm worried that it will take me until L&D to figure out the name! And even though I'm 14 weeks, I have actually been thinking about this for ages! DH and I had the first boy name chosen LAST YEAR!
Speaking of that name, his initials would be NOB - is this a really horrible thing to do to a child? I KNOW I'm not the only one concerned with initials...
Oh, and another question while I'm thinking about it (rambling this morning!): for those of you who found out the sex of your baby ahead of time, did you disclose that to everyone? My cousin-in-law said not to tell because I'll get all pink and blue stuff (which I'm really not crazy about) and people will get cute clothes instead of the things DH and I will really need.
TIA!
Erica, EDD 1/18/05 #1
wagner36
07-22-2004, 01:42 PM
We didn't know that DS was going to be a boy at all - I was pretty sure that he was going to be a girl - in fact, when the doctor said "It's a boy" I apparently had a look of total and complete shock on my face. I'd purchased a ton of unisex clothes that were just slightly girly (i.e. yellow or blue, but with little flowers).
But, thank god he was a boy, because we had NO girl names. Not a one. I was about 10 days early, so it was on our list of things to do, but we hadn't gotten to it yet. Not only could we not agree on a name, but neither one of us could find anything we liked. I was actually in tears on our way to the hospital that we didn't have a girl name, and DH told me that if we couldn't decide, we'd just wait for a couple of weeks to name her! Oddly, that made me feel much better....
So, no - you're not alone!
We knew + told everyone that we knew but we didn't disclose the information. It was fun because everyone had an opinion on the subject + most were wrong!
On the subject of names, we had names for girls but we had the most difficult time with boys' names. Now we have another boy's name ready to go + we dislike the original girl name. Not a problem at the moment but hopefully soon!
Jenn
DS 6/03
lizajane
07-22-2004, 05:07 PM
erica-
don't worry! his monogram will be nBo!
we found out and we told. i LOVE green and we used green for schuyler's room. (also so we could use it for child #2, who i feel right now is a girl, but won't know for 6 more weeks if we decide to find out.) but i didn't want all green and yellow clothes. i don't like yellow. i look horrible in yellow. and schuyler looks horrible in yellow because he looks just like me. and i had a friend who didn't find out and i can't TELL you how many times people asked her about her SON (who happened to be her daughter) because all her gender neutral clothes leaned toward the boy side.
BUT! then some other friends didn't find out, and they both got all this great useful stuff! not just the necessities, but also toys and books and ets. meanwhile, we got 47 blue blankets. i have TONS of brand new, never used blue blankets.
so if you want to know, but you want to surprise everyone else, and you would like to save some $$ by receiving necessities instead of outfits (which, by the way, will be someone ELSE'S taste, not yours) then find out and don't tell! and i realize i sound like a big snob saying that, but oh well. call me a snob, then.
starrynight
07-22-2004, 05:26 PM
Yes, all three times. It turns out the gender name I could come up with was what I was having, so maybe my mind had a natural 'mind block' on the opposite?? With ds I could only come up with a boys name I liked and with the girls it was the same way(well I had one boys name incase but it never seemed right in my head). Eventually you will come up with something you like, you have some time :). Good luck!
dowlinal
07-22-2004, 07:01 PM
Before I got pregnant we had decided on Madeline Irene if the baby was a girl but we could not come up with any boys names. Then 1/2 way through the pregnancy we decided on Alexander Thomas for a boy and suddenly we didn't like Madeline anymore. So for the last three months we seriously agonized over the girls name - we knew we wanted Irene as the middle name but we couldn't find a girls name that we loved as much as our boy's name. We were still debating between Sabrina, Grace, and/or Madeline as they wheeled me imto the c-section. When she was born they asked DH for the name and we looked at her and she was definately a Madeline.
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