What do you do when your child wakes up on the wrong side of the bed?

[JLiebCamm]

For the past few weeks DS (19 months old) has been waking up from his naps miserably! He wakes up crying and elevates his mood to temper tantrum status as soon as we pick him up from the crib. This goes on for 30-60 minutes and nothing works to make him snap out of it. Any attempt that I make to comfort him makes him scream louder, and if I try to walk away and ignore him he also screams louder. No attempts at distraction through food, music, toys, change of scenery seem to work. By the time he's calmed down, his eyes are red and his face looks swollen. I feel so helpless! Is there anything that I should try that might make this easier? And does anyone have an idea why this might be occurring? I should clarify that his naps are a decent length and that he doesn't wake up in the morning like this. Help!!!

[lmintzer]

My DS#1 started doing this at about your son's age and still, to this day, wakes up from naps miserable maybe once each week.

My thoughts about why? "Sleep inertia" (term borrowed from Weissbluth). That yucky, "I'm still feeling heavy/exhausted" feeling that we get when we wake up during the wrong part of a sleep cycle.

Jack's crying goes on from anywhere from 5-20 minutes. Sounds like your ds can go quite a bit longer. Now that he's more verbal, I sit with him, stroke his back, and talk to him. I try to watch his cues. If he pulls away, I know the touch is too stimulating and I back off. I try to remind him to use his words in a very gentle voice. I also talk to him about what's happening (which seems to be most effective). I usually say "You just woke up feeling yucky. You'll be okay in a few minutes. You feel yucky now, but you'll feel better soon". Once he calms down a little bit and can here me more, I ask him what will help, either using yes/no questions or forced choices (usually consisting of a video, me sitting with him, him sitting alone, lying on the "big bed" with me). Usually, these choices plus a little time help. Sometimes, when he's starting to "come to," so to speak, humor helps. I recently quoted a character from the Clifford video that he likes. He was crying so hard that he was drooling, spluttering, and when I said "Yuck--ooohhh, slobber!" he started to laugh through his tears. But this only worked toward the end when he was almost ready to stop.

I know how awful it feels not to be able to help. Jack is pretty spirited, so we have this in other arenas too, but this sleep inertia is one of the worsts.

With regard to comforting not helping and walking away also escalating him, I might try a middle ground. Don't touch him if he seems too stimulated by physical contact. Try some kind of a simple, soothing sentence. If he isn't hearing the words, he might cue into your tone of voice. Then, once he's settled slightly, you can try some of the other techniques like distraction, back rubbing, etc.

HTH a little!

[daisymommy]

Joshua is like this when he wakes up. I used to change his diaper, put on his clothes, go down stairs and start to fix breakfast...all in the midst of a fussing trantrum-throwing child. No fun for either of us!
What I did was stop trying to change his diaper and clothes first thing (I figured waiting 30 more minutes wouldn't kill him). I bring him downstairs as quickly as possible, without talking, opening the shades, or bothering him in anyway. I let him lay down on the couch, with his favorite soft blanket, and give him a sippy cup of milk. I also put on a Baby Einstein video on low volume. I leave all the blinds closed. Amazingly, by the end of the 30 minute video, Josh emerges from the couch a new child, ready to start the day with a smile. I guess he just needed some "mornng coffee wake up time" like his Momma does so to speak ;) After that he'll let me change his diaper, and eat breakfast without a fuss. But I just know now not to "mess with him" in anyway before he's fully awake. I think he's too easily over stimulated by everything when he first wakes up (or when he's tired and needs to go to sleep).

[mattysmom]

This exact same scenario happens to our ds who is 17 months old. As one of the posters wrote, I agree that it happens when ds wakes up too soon or in the middle of a sleep cycle. His "normal" naps are less than 1 hour long and when this is the case, he wakes up miserable and SO cranky! Today he slept for about 1 1/2 hours (since he'd woken up at 5:15 am) and was much better than normal. I wish I knew the secret to making children take longer naps, but the only thing that has worked for us is having a really "busy" morning and tiring him out. Then the chances of him sleeping as long as he needs to is more likely.

I've also found that for my ds a trip outside helps. I might sit on the grass with him, put him in the jogger or on the trike and he'll calm down (he LOVES being outside).

I hope others have more solutions for you - but I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one whose child wakes up miserably from his naps!

[alleyoop]

This happens in our house, too! About once or twice a week DS will wake up just miserable. One thing that is very helpful around here is one of those toddler swings attached to our porch. He will immediately ask for "swing" if he wakes up in a foul mood, and a lot of other days, too. Sometimes, I end up pushing him for more than a half hour, but it always does the trick. He never falls asleep in the swing, but just spaces out. These are other things I have tried:

Sometimes I think that it is due to low blood sugar during growth spurts. If he doesn't eat lunch right before nap, maybe try giving him a snack before he goes down to help him bridge the blood sugar gap?

I had read that if you notice that a certain length nap always leaves them in a pickle... try waking him up 10 minutes before he would normally. It might break the cycle?

Last, but never least... teeth?? I might try a dose of Motrin before his nap one day, just to see if that makes a difference. Won't hurt him if it isn't pain related but at least you could rule it out.

Good Luck!

[Marisa6826]

Sophie does this too. Maybe it's a Capricorn thing? ;)

I have found that if I speak to her quietly, keep the room dim, change her dipe and let her rest with me for a bit before bringing her downstairs it helps.

I'm not so certain that she's completely awake when this happens.

Give it a try and see how it works.

hugs

-m

[amp]

This really isn't quite the same thing, since the degree is significantly less, but DS sometimes wakes pretty cranky and I've found that if I don't change his dipe, but just sit on the couch with him on my lap for a little bit, he wakes up a bit more and is generally fine. Then we have to have a little drink of some sort and then he's cool to play. Before I figured that out, I'd put him down to play or change his dipe and he'd freak out! But you said comforting him doesn't help, so I'm assuming you've tried this. Hope you find a way to make waking up more pleasant for both of you.

[ethansmom]

I almost posted this same question! The naps were long, but he sure wasn't waking happy...After rereading some sections of Weisbluth, I moved his nap and betime earlier. It worked! The nap got even longer but he was actually laughing when I went in to get him.

Good luck!