View Full Version : Dr. says to wait a few more months
annamaria
08-08-2004, 12:33 PM
Hi,I've never posted on here before however i've read alot of things that have helped me either get through a rough day or make me smile a little. You guys seem to give great support to each other and so i figured I'd Post. My name is Anna and I'm a mother of 4 Angels. I'm concerned something is wrong. any advice would be appriciated. DD is 19 1/2 month old and hasn't developed the same was that her siblings have. Walking, talking,paying attention, just plain learning. I know all kids learn at thier own pace but i cant help feel that someting is wrong. She only says mamma, dada, and a few animal sounds. It upsets me when we go out to the park, pool, gym class, or to playdates because she isn't interested in anything that the other kids are into.( even the ones her own age) she keeps to herself and the kids that try to play with her end up giving up because she kind of tuns them out.
I have this problem at home too with her older brothers and sister. they would get right in her face saying SARA!! SARA!!! and she just ignores them. I've never seen this before with my other kids. Sara doesn't do it all the time but enough to make me feel something just isn't right. She loves music. That always gets her attention. the other thing is, My 3 other childen are and always were very happy babies. Hardly ever cried, content with everything and everyone around them. Sara is just the oppisite. Always cranky, cries all the time. it seems as if she's always tired. You know when kids are exausted and they get real cranky? Like that. I just don't know what to think. her Dr says to wait a few more months. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Am i getting carried away thinking somethings wrong? Thank You All In Advance.
anna, al-7 dominique-5 michael-4 and my little angel sara 19 months
kfcboston
08-08-2004, 12:36 PM
Welcome, Anna! My DS has been displaying some speech delay and this state (Mass.) offers excellent speech and development therapy in-home that's 100% covered by the state. Maybe your ped could recommend a specialist to have her evaluated?
Good luck!
JElaineB
08-08-2004, 02:08 PM
Hi Anna, welcome! I don't have any advice for you other than you use your mommy instincts! Since you are on your fourth child I imagine they would be pretty good by now! :) If you truly think something is wrong then I would try to get a referral for a developmental evalution such as what Katie suggested above. Good luck and keep us posted.
Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02
MommytoDylan
08-08-2004, 02:17 PM
Have you ever heard of Sensory Integration Dysfunction? Some children get over stimulated easily and need help to fill in the gaps in the foundation of their nervous system--a very simplified explanation. An Occupational Therapist can work with a child to help "fill in the gaps". A good book to read to see if any of this is your daughter would be "The Out of Sync Child".
Are you able to engage her when it is quiet and it is just the two of you? Some kids are overwhelmed by people in their face or lots of activity. They tune out to calm themselves.
You can always email me if you would like some more specific information.
Good luck to you and your sweet little girl.
HTH,
Meredith
almostamom
08-08-2004, 02:22 PM
Anna,
You could also check with your local school district. I know ours provides testing for speech, hearing, etc. for children who are not yet school age (although I'm not sure just how young they test). Our district even provides services to those younger children who need it. Just an idea - HTH
~Linda~
Baby #1 due Nov 17, 2004
Twin Mom
08-08-2004, 03:38 PM
Anna, assuming you are in the U.S., there is a federal program in every state that helps children with delays from birth to age 3. In Georgia it is called Babies Can't Wait. In other states it may have different names. You should probably try to find out what the agency is called in your state and have Sara evaluated. You don't have to have a pediatrician referral or anything to use the program. The evaluation is free and they will tell you what areas if any they think might be a problem. If you have a vibe that something isn't right with Sara, it couldn't hurt to see what a professional (other than your ped) has to say. I think your sense that something isn't ok is a good thing to go by.
One friend of mine knew about the program because her son needed speech therapy so she had told me about it. Then one of the program coordinators came to my twins club meeting and spoke so I had even more information. Unfortunately lots of moms of multiples have premies with some or many problems so other ladies in the club were familiar with the services as well.
It is sad that most pediatricians don't tell parents about this program since it is available in every state but I've never heard it mentioned by my pediatrician and my kids have been on the late side of most milestones. I actually had my twins evaluated because they weren't walking when the should have been and both have received physicial therapy through the program.
The therapy or whatever services are recommended is cost shared between you and the state based on your income. It is a sliding scale so the more you make the less they pay. It is also provided in your home or can be at a daycare center for kids in daycare full-time so you don't have to take them to the therapist and the therapy is received in a familiar environment.
Sorry this is so long but I want you to know that there are other options out there.
HTH.
lisams
08-08-2004, 05:30 PM
Hi Anna and welcome! I know a few 20 month olds that are now just starting to say more than mama and dada (and they were also saying animal sounds, interesting pattern here!) I know it's hard not to worry about it, but in the meantime could you make an appointment with a speech pathologist just to set your mind at ease. And if by any chance there is a delay, they will give you tons of ideas to help her out.
As far as her all around temperament, it could be just that. I was concerned about DD when she wouldn't repsond to certain people, freak out easily etc, and our ped told us that some children are very sensitive to what is around them, and that it is nothing wrong, it is just their temperament and that we will just need to adjust some things to help her out. Now that we have calmed down about it and are a little more understanding things are much better.
Perhaps you could call you ped and tell him/her that you don't want to wait, that it is bothering you.
Hope to "see" you around more!!
Lisa
lizajane
08-08-2004, 08:56 PM
hi anna! i am glad you are here!
i think if you are worried, your concerns are valid and are worth examining. if you aren't happy with the way your ped is treating the issue, maybe you could ask a friend to recommend someone for a second opinion.
i only have one child, so i really can't offer any advice. but as an outsider just reading your post, i do wonder if she is just overwhelmed by her wonderfully large family. i know that when our 11 year old and 6 year old friend come over, they want so much to play with schuyler, they drive him nuts. he is constantly trying to wiggle free from them. and while schuyler is a very outgoing fellow, he does NOT like for other kids to touch him and make him feel trapped while they "play" with him.
please let us know what you find out! i hope it is just a new personality for you to learn about!
annamaria
08-08-2004, 09:35 PM
I don't know how to thank you all!
This Messsage board is amazing. You all are amazing!! I will let you guys know what happens. We have an appointment tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks again.....
anna, al-7 dominique-5 michael-4 and my little angel sara 19 months
alexsmommy
08-08-2004, 09:43 PM
I'm a child psychologist, and I think everyone had excellent suggestions. My only comment is, if your ped doesn't respond in a way that you are comfortable with, call your school district and ask about the program a mother mentioned above. All states offer an eval for children ages 0-3, and your school district will know how to put you in contact with the appropriate program. I am a BIG believer in "Mommy Sense" and you are not a new Mom. If you think somethings off, it could very well be. Many disorders respond very well to early intervention so I'd get some outside eyes looking at your daughter as soon as possible. It's almost impossible for any of us to give you any concrete answers without knowing/seeing your daughter. Best of luck.
Alaina
Alex 2-4-03
tippy
08-09-2004, 12:44 AM
Hi Anna,
I am actually waiting for a phone call from early intervention. I contacted my Dept of Health (that's the first step in my City) and they took my info and said I would get a call to set up an in home evalution. They also asked for my insurance info. I questioned whether of not it was free of charge (which I understood it to be in my state) and the answer I got was that they always try to recover some $$$ from insurance if you have it. If they are unable or if you are without insurance it is completely free of charge. Maybe this varies by state, i'm not sure. In any case, ds is 19 mo old (today) and also only says dada, mama, this (dis) and Bandit (one of our two cats, pronounced dandit). He was late to walk (17 1/2 mo), didn't clap or do peekaboo till a few mo ago. He doesn't have the social stuff you were mentioning with your daughter and he isn't as iritable. He understands everything though and for that reason I'm not that sure there is anything wrong. I just wanted them to check him for his speech. I figure better safe than sorry.
I know all kids develop differently and what-not but I am a true believer in going with your instinct. You know your child better than anyone. If something feels off to you I would say to check it out. If they say she is fine and it still feels off to you than get a second opinion. Good luck and please keep us posted.
tinkerbell1217
08-09-2004, 10:23 AM
I would look into getting her evaluated for speech and language delays and possibly autism. I do not want to scare you, but the indifference to other children and people in social situations can be a sign, as are the delays. Lots of autistic kids love music. Its therapy for them. It may be nothing and I am completely wrong, but I would want to know so if there is something going on like that I can get therapy and learn ways of dealing with it and ways of teaching her that she will be able to handle.
I apologize if I scare you, thats not my intention. I just know a couple of people who were in denial for years about their kids having autism and developmental delays and it ended up being much tougher once the kids got older.
LOTS of luck and blessings!!!
kcimato
08-09-2004, 10:28 AM
Anna,
As a teacher of special ed and 2 years of working with pre school age children who have delays, I will tell you to ignore your Dr. and go with your insticts. This is your 4th child and you know what is normal.The 1st place to start is with your school district. They should have professionals in place to do evaluations on Sara. In my school district it is called Child Find and the parents can request the evaluation. Those children under 2 who are found eligible receive services through a home resourse teacher. Those over 2 can attend special classes at a local elementary school. Best of all it is free and the children are bussed to school.
.
Another avenue you might try is your local health department . Two of my children received speech services through them. Just remember early intervention is a must.
annamaria
08-11-2004, 03:49 PM
I know I said I had a feeling that something was wrong. But the truth is I was in denial. DH and I took Sara to see a Specialist about 50 miles from where we live and He agreed to Help Sara.
She has been tested and re-tested for Autism. the test results aren't to hopeful. The doctors say it's going to take a lot of work for everyone in our family but especially Sara.
We will manage I'm sure. My children are my whole world. There's nothing DH and I wouldn't do for them. I'll keep you guys posted.
Thanks for all your kind words.
God Bless.
anna, al-7 dominique-5 michael-4 and my little angel sara 19 months
JacksMommy
08-11-2004, 04:09 PM
That's hard news to hear. Good for you for listening to your instincts and taking Sara in for an eval in spite of what your ped said (and I hope he takes this as a lesson not to blow off mommy instincts). I don't think it sounded like you were in denial - you asked your doctor about it and he essentially said not to worry about it yet, so that's what you were trying to do. No one wants to hear difficult news about our precious children, but your whole family will be better off with getting early intervention and support. Mkae sure that you get information about support groups and other resources for your and for Sara's siblings so that you have emotional and other sources of support through this. There is a huge network of people out there going through the same issues (you just haven't met them yet) and they can help a lot.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Laurel
Working Mama to Jack, 6/4/02
EDD #2 12/24/02
Oh, I am so glad to hear that you followed-up on this although the news is probably hard to hear. Let us know how things are going we'd like to hear. thinking of you.
MommytoDylan
08-11-2004, 09:00 PM
Oh, Anna, I'm so sorry to hear you didn't get the news you wanted to hear! Hugs to you and your family as you go through this difficult time of adjustment.
Love,
Meredith
trumansmom
08-11-2004, 09:29 PM
Your family will be in my prayers. Be proud of yourself for catching this so early and going the extra mile to get help for your child. You're a good mother and she is LUCKY to have you.
Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04
tippy
08-11-2004, 10:25 PM
AnnaMaria,
Please don't beat yourself up for "being in denial". It really doesn't sound like you were and even if you had been, it would be understandable and you certainly wouldn't be alone! The fact is you mentioned it to your Dr., brought it to the boards as a topic, AND took Sara to a specialist. That doesn't sound like denial to me. In any case, early intervention is sooo important and that is what you are providing her. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Oh, Anna. I'm so sorry the tests didn't give you the results you hoped for. I AM impressed that your mommy instincts were right on, and that you trusted them. It sounds like you are the right person for this job, and that your little girl is very, very lucky to have you for her mom.
Dscvrlifewith3
08-12-2004, 12:25 AM
Anna,
I normally do not post this type of posts out on the internet about my kids, but I thought it might give you hope and encouragement. I have three children and my two younger ones have what people term "special needs". My oldest son, who we adopted, has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, he suffers from sensory integration disorder a mild case, and he has behavioral and emotional issues. We have had him since he was 20 hours old, and luckily have had a great support in taking care of him. Dylan is very smart, advanced physically, but emotionally and behaviorally he is more than just spirited or difficult. We are now at a point of stability with him and he is fixing to be four. Having Dylan in my life has taught me how to be an advocate, to be tolerant, and compassion for those around me. It has also taught me not to leave one stone unturned.
My youngest son was a surprise full term pregnancy. Born healthy, at around six months I noticed he was different. At a year old he was "floppy", he could barely sit up, he could not crawl or stand and he could not eat solid foods or even drink from a bottle without gagging. He was more than just a little slow, he was way behind! My cousin, born two weeks before him and five weeks premature, had surpassed him in everything, including weight and physical development. Luckily I was familiar with Early Intervention and after a month of contact with them, Jack started occupational and physical therapy. I was thankful to have these people in my home working with my son, and I was thankful they taught me such valuable skills to help him. This therpay helped him catch up physically and he began to eat baby food. He took his first steps around 19 months old, about the time he weaned off me to a cup. Jack is no longer behind physically but he is definitely "slower" and he has a speech delay. He begins speech therapy in September through EI. He falls in the normal range of cognitive abilities, but is slower than his peers. All of his problems are neurological in nature, and they believe he will outgrow some of it, but its wait and see.
I just want you to know that no matter what that you are not alone in this. There are lots of moms out there that are in a similar boat. I know what a difficult time this may be for you, because I was there over a year ago. I will be thinking about you and Sarah, and how you are doing the very best for her and seeking the best help! If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me.
stella
08-12-2004, 12:30 AM
Anna,
I know that the results are not in yet, and I hope that she is not autistic, but I want you to know that there are other mothers of autistic children on this board and so there will always be someone here who understands what you may be going through.
You are obviously a very strong family. As you said, your children are your whole life, and you will be all right. Sara is lucky to have such a big, close family to help her.
Stay strong and know that you are doing everything that you can for her. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
papal
08-12-2004, 12:31 AM
Oh Anna.. sending big hugs your way. Sorry the news is not what you wanted to hear... you are an amazing mom for following your gut and being such a great example for all of us.
jubilee
08-12-2004, 03:06 AM
Anna, I wanted to let you know my prayers are with you and Sara. You are a great mommy! We'd love to have you keep us posted! You will find this board to be a wonderful source of encouragement and knowledge.
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