Roll Call : Moms of SPIRITED children.

[papal]

Here.

If mine misses or gets a delayed day-time nap, we are rest-assured we will have a meltdown in the evening and have a hard time getting her to go to bed at night. So much so that i have decided to cancel my trip back home. Without dh to help me, i will be a wreck and not have a relaxing time at all.

My dh's niece goes off to sleep in a restaurant, car, wherever. I was truly amazed that some babies do this.

Anyway, anyone else? I know you are out there!

[jbowman]

Ellie is definitely a spirited child!

She has NEVER taken a nap reliably. I just can't count on it--today she had two good naps, but those days are few and far between. She will, however, nap in the car. I don't know how many times DH and I have driven around and chatted while she napped, just b/c she so desperately needed sleep! Dozing off in a restaurant--no way, not my kid!

Everyone mentions to me that Ellie is the most "alert" baby that they have ever seen (which is one way of saying "spirited" I think). Even in her newborn pic at the hospital, both eyes are wide open!

BTW, Rashmi--Ellie and I spent a month in my hometown earlier this summer (nowhere nearly as fun as where you would be visiting!). I stayed with my parents and my in-laws and I have to tell you that the "vacation" was absolutely exhausting w/o DH! It was really fun and I was thrilled to see my family and my friends, but relaxing was the last word that I would use to describe the trip. That said, if you took your trip with Leela, would you have family members who could help you? I just mention that b/c I know that you miss your family and it would be lovely for you to see them.

[jec2]

What?! Rashmi, you're not going home? Oh, I am sad to hear that.

I haven't done a lot of reading on "spirited" children, but have thought that is Finn for sure. He has always be a very demanding baby and yes, I don't like to go do a whole lot during the day because he doesn't seem as portable as other babies--fragile napper, won't sit in a restaruant high-chair, grocery cart, or often his stroller. He has just now started to nap and that too can be a struggle.

But, when were you scheduled to go (this fall, right?). Leela will be a wee bit older and that might be better for travelling. She might be walking and more tired and more likely to sleep. I do completely understand, however, the displeasure of thinking about 2 or 3 weeks with a cranky cranky baby all by yourself. I'm sort of wondering what our trip to Oregon holds and DH will be with me! But, what about your parents? Will they be there to help (or will they just add to your stress?).

Oh, big hugs to you and the little bug. I wish I had better advice but I delay errands to the market so I can't even think about the air travel to India.

[pixelprincess]

We have a spirited boy too.

His naps and night time sleeping are so much better since we did CIO... it used to be he'd nap all over the map. He falls off to sleep in the car quite easily, which can mess with his bedtime. We have recently ventured out to eat with him, and I go in and pre-order the meal before we seat down to eat as it has to be a quick affair.

I haven't had the stomach to go on my own to India without dh for the same reason (even a 4 hr domestic flight is scary). Personally, I feel it is easier when they aren't mobile...they might sit still. With him walking it seems harder, as he changes course frequently, hates being in the stroller and even tries to leap out of my arms... lil bugger is pretty strong too.

Are you mostly worried about the flight or just being dh-less in India? Cause if you can stomach the flight... you should have help out there, right? I am thinking of hiring an ayaah out there to help since my parents are quite old and not as able.

[rrosen]

Me! Me! Me! I am!


I am so chained to DD's schedule that I get almost psychotic when it gets messed up. When one nap get off the whole rest of the day and night are shot.

Yesterday, I *messed up* and had the audacity to run an errand too close to a nap time. Gabrielle fell asleep in the car for 20 mins and would not go back down to finish her nap in her crib when we got home. So she was cranky in the evening, difficult to settle to sleep for the night, and woke several times before finally falling asleep. I have MANY friends who can carry their sleeping child in from the car and just plop into the crib, no sweat. Not my sweet angel.I wish someone would invent something that I could use to keep her awake in the car. Like a motion sensor pad that would vibrate if she were still for too long!

Fortunately, for the most part, I have a very happy kid. She is spirited in that she is VERY active and inquisitive. Strangers comment on the fact that she seems *older* than she is all of the time.

I am actually looking forward to the time when she needs only one nap a day so that I am not such a slave to her schedule. It is very hard getting things done outside of the house. I live in the boonies and it is a *drive* to get anything done.

Rashmi- Please don't cancel your trip home. I know you have been looking forward to it! Want me to come and help?

Hugs from a Mama who understands!

[cinrein]

Rashmi,
Do you really think Leela is spirited? I think the meltdown with missed naps is pretty much normal baby behaviour.

Anna was a terrible napper until she started walking. Then something magical happened and now she is a reliable night sleeper and napper. It gets better every month and I'm so relieved. I spent too many hours (probably days) holding that child and patting her butt so she'd sleep. Still I wouldn't say she was a spirited child. My friend's son is definitely a spirited child and he was a good sleeper. It's more of a personality type than a sleep issue.

I hate to see you cancel your trip home. Maybe delay it a little bit in hopes that Leela will handle things better when she'd older? It's so much easier once they cross into that phase where they sleep so hard and soundly that you can move them around and they don't wake up!

Cindy and Anna February 2003

[jk3]

My DS is very difficult if he misses a nap. He isn't what I would call a spirited child since he's generally on the calm side but he definitely does better when we stick to his routine. This can be difficult at times since he is still napping 2x every day.

I know it's difficult to think about but I hope you reconsider + do not cancel your trip. We've taken DS on many trips-not as far as India-and he has fared pretty well. If you are visiting family then you might have some help. Even when we travel I make sure he takes regular naps. My DS certainly would not fall alseep in a restaurant but he will fall asleep in his stroller or a car + I can transfer him MOST of the time. He wasn't great with any of this until about ten months old when he suddenly became more active-crawling, standing, cruising, etc. Now that he's walking, he sleeps even better.

Trips can definitely throw off your routine but you might regret not going. I know it can be very tough not to get crazed when one's baby is off schedule but the times I have actually tried to relax about it have been better than the times I am so focused on it. I hope that makes sense!

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[llcoddington]

I think Lauren would qualify! I get the same comments that Jill does (post above) about Lauren being so alert. We have gone to friends' houses and thinking she might go to sleep, brought along the pack n play. Midnight rolls around and Lauren is still wide awake, hopping around the room, no yawns or eye-rubbing in sight. Thankfully, when we are out and about, she is happy.

We have the frequent melt-downs at night. I think that might be more normal than not.

I have two nephews who sleep anywhere and nap nicely in the car. When we go visit them, I have a REALLY hard time because both boys will take morning naps and then 2 or 3 hour afternoon naps and my SIL will nap too. I actually broke down crying a couple of times because I was so dead tired and Lauren was no where near going to sleep!

Rashmi, if you can at all do it, take your trip home! Everytime we go on vacation, I about have a melt-down myself, thinking I can't handle it. But, after every trip, I am glad I went. (Granted, I have DH with me.)

We have let Lauren CIO lately and it has helped. Thankfully, she only cries for a few minutes. I have come to believe that sometimes CIO is the best thing for both mom and baby.

I have found that with Lauren, I cannot be as flexible as I would like. I don't go anywhere until after that second nap!

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[jbowman]

Lana,

Maybe it is b/c Lauren and Ellie were born in early December 2003, LOL? Most people think Ellie is older b/c of her alertness.

Fortunately Ellie is fine in restaurants/social situations outside of the home--so we can go out frequently. I don't know what I'd do otherwise!

[papal]

I get the 'Alert' comment a LOT too and did from day one... when we went to the post-hospital ped checkup.. almost everyone commented about how ALERT Leela was.. wow.. good to know that you guys get the same comment.

The thing about going to India is not the trip itself... i can live with the fact that the flight and stuff will be traumatic. Leela will be walking by then and i visualize her running up and down the aisles because SITTING in the car-seat for 7 hours and then 9 hours and then 4 hours is just frightening to think of! :) Oh, my mom will be travelling with me but STILL!
Once we get there there is the jet-lag to deal with. Basically since there is an almost 12 hour difference in time, our nights and days get switched! It takes ME a week to get into the rhythm of things so I can't imagine what will happen to Leela!
My mom and dad would give and arm and a leg to help out and they have tried while they were here... Leela only gets MORE hyper when someone else tries to put her down for a nap. She is an angel when she wakes up and loves to play with everyone. But naps are either me or dh. And since she takes naps every 2 hours and HAS to be swaddled in her Miracle Blanket, it is a difficult situation.. i can't exactly go out all day and hang out with my friends!
To be honest, i am a bit of a control-freak when it comes to her naps and general schedule.. this is because i know and have to deal with the consequences of her missing them! Sometimes i feel like other people don't understand this... like i am just a crazy person and i should LET GO. I don't know.. maybe i am... i just don't get why this is so HARD sometimes!!
My mom has a lot of servants at home to help out... so i won't be doing house work or laundry or ANY other stuff.. just dealing with Leela. I could probably even hire someone to follow Leela all day long so she does not get into trouble in my mom's HUGE house.

Hopefully with her walking soon, she learns to sleep through the night. Right now dh helps out at night, bringing her to bed or whatever...
Sigh... I so want to go and maybe i should just not think so much and just GO.. i have become a nap-planning junkie seems like sometimes. arrggh.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.. feels good to know that there are a few of us in this camp!

[llcoddington]

"Maybe it is b/c Lauren and Ellie were born in early December 2003, LOL?"

Must be! I have a younger brother who was born in December and he was the most spirited baby ever. Wild is more like it! Speaking of wild, years ago my mom bought a book called "The Strong-Willed Child" to help her deal with my brother. She started some new disciplining method and my brother asked, "Did you learn that in "The Strong-WILD Child" book?!

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[llcoddington]

Don't worry about being a control-freak about naps and schedules. There are LOTS of us out there! And you know Leela best.

Hmmm...servants? I think I could use a servant in my two bedroom condo!

We are not to sleeping through the night yet either. Well, we got two sleep through the nights last week and then this week top teeth are starting to come in, so no more sleep! I think I am seriously delirious most of the time!

I hope you can go home...My mom has only seen Lauren once and I haven't gone home since Lauren was born so I know how it feels to want to go home! (I really have no excuse. Texas is just a 4 hour plane trip.)

P.S. I made those Ghirardelli brownies last night and OVERCOOKED them! Total waste of gooey yummy chocolate! We just ate the middle out that was still soft!


Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[jbowman]

Lana--

And my twin sister and I (and one of my best friends) are December babies--and we have always been wild/spirited! Crazy Sagittarians!

I'm taking a student to lunch at Potpourri House today--thought you'd appreciate!

[miki]

Rashmi,

I so hope you go on your trip. We travelled from west coast to east coast 2 times -- granted it's not a 12 hour time difference -- but Lorelei adjusted to the time change faster than we did. And I was really paranoid that the hub-bub at my parents' house would throw a wrench into her sleeping but she was fine. When she wasn't, my mom or my younger brother helped me entertain. And if you can have someone follow Leela around for the hours she's awake, I think that's pretty luxurious compared to what you do day to day at home.

I don't even go out to run quick arrands if we are within 30-45 minutes of a nap. I don't want to risk missing the magic window! But I'd rather have DD rested and happy than go out and about with a cranky kid.

[marinkitty]

Rashmi:

My two cents . . . I was really worried about the time change when we took Mia to Portugal in June (though admittedly only a 6 hour difference not 12) but she actually adjusted much better that either DH or I did. So did the other couple's baby who we traveled with. She slept through the night except for one very restless 90 minute period the first night and all was fine with night sleep the rest of the trips. She did have a few days where she only took one nap, but it didn't seem to mess with the nights as much as I thought it would. I think she got so exhausted from only getting a short night's sleep on the way there that she got on track right away.

Coming home took a bit longer, but still only about 3 days.

Leela might surprise you!

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03)
Another March baby EDD (3.22.05)

http://lilypie.com/days/050322/0/0/1/-6/.png

[chlobo]

Well I have a November baby and she's very spirited. I get the "alert" comment all the time as well. Everyone comments on how wide she opens her eyes, as if she can't take it all in unless her eyes are very wide.

I've also had trouble with her sleep. She is quite difficult to get to nap. And only recently we've had success with her night time sleep. Even still, she'll only sleep 10 hours at night, even though it appears she needs more. It usually means she needs 3 naps instead of 2 as the first one is catch up and usually has to happen an hour and a half after she gets up.

[tarahsolazy]

OOH, are you coming to Portland? Want to meet up for a chat? I'd love to meet you IRL

[jec2]

R,
Go! If you have the ability to have help once there, just go. I'm totally the sleep police around here and I have to try and be more chill about it, but I understand how you want a break and want her to have a break or else you'll both wind up crying :) But, with the ability to hire somebody and not have to tend to laundry, cooking, cleaning....aahh, sounds like a wonderful getaway.

As for the time-adjustment. I don't know much about that in baby's. Have you done any reading on how well (or not) they adapt? That would kind of stress me out too. But, ya know, our worries tend to be worse than the way things usually turn out, thanks to our creative imaginiations I guess.

[daisymommy]

OH GOSH!!! SIGN US UP!!! I swear she wrote this book after being a fly on the wall in our house!

I read the book once, am reading it through once again with a highlighter (although the entire book is starting to glow yellow at this point ;)). And then when I'm done I plan to type up some very brief main points to remember from each chapter to hang on my fridge--because I cannot possibly remember it all.

Sigh...If it helps at all, my brother and DH are totally "spirited adults" and I can see that so much has changed for the better since they have gotten older. That's not to say that living with either one of them is ever easy :)

[jec2]

Ooh, let's chat about meeting. baby just woke..gotta run. But I'll pm you later.

[cchavez]

Great point! Diego was a terrible napper AND is a spirited child....just ask my other mommy friends!!! But he is adorable just very spunky!!!:)

[ethansmom]

My initial response was "yes, it will be difficult and you will be tired", but after reading your second post, I say go!

Friends went to visit family in India over the holidays and their 14 month old did great! I was dreading the trip for them, especially since it was rather last minute and they didn't have a seat for the baby! He slept for most of the flights and adjusted to the time change very quickly. BTW, he is a very spirited child!

I know when I travel with DS, it's hard for me because not only does he get less sleep, I don't sleep! I'm so worried he will wake someone up at night, I jump at the first noise! I find it's SO much harder for me to handle DS when I'm tired! If you'll have servants there who can follow Leela around while you catch a quick nap, that might really help your outlook.

[JenCA]

I'm here, I'm here! I have an extraordinarily spirited child. She's been this way since birth. Couple the spiritedness with three months of colic, and suffice it to say that the first few months of her life left DH and me in true survival mode. ;) But, she has grown into such an incredibly bright little thing with the cutest personality. I know that she's going to run us ragged when she's older (heck, she turns one tomorrow, and she's already doing that!), but I think it's going to be brilliant watching her grow!

Oh, and she has NEVER napped anywhere but in her crib (or in bed with mama).

[Kieransmom]

Lol...Kieran and I are here!

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030509/1/5/0/+10/.png[/img][/url]

[Puddy73]

Count me in!!! CIO and a regular schedule have greatly reduced DD's daytime fussiness, but we are slaves to her schedule. I've heard the "alert" comment many times. It often sounds like a euphemism for "screaming brat." During DD's colicky months I would stare longingly at other babies that seemed to sleep anywhere, anytime, convinced that I was a horrible mother. When I asked my pediatrician if I was doing something wrong, he laughed and said that in his experience babies with this temperament grow up to be bright, fun, outgoing kids. Good news for us mommies of "spirited" babes!

Rashmi, I hope that you decide not to cancel your trip. I know how much you are looking forward to it, and even though there may be some difficult moments, think of all the precious memories that you and Leela will make with your family.


Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle Mae 9/8/03

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

[jpang]

Hi, Rashmi,

We've been on three plane trips with Lena. She is also a spirited child who has never once fallen asleep in our arms or on our shoulders. There's just too much to look at if mom and dad are around. She's been alert since day 1 and is trying her hardest to walk already (can successfully crawl up and now down the stairs)-- at not even 10 months.

We do find plane rides exhausting. When she was younger, she slept. Now that she's awake for longer periods, however, we have to entertain her constantly on the plane (or she gets bored and lets us know it). On the last flight, DH walked her up and down the aisle whenever the pilot didn't have the fasten seatbelt sign on.

That said, I'm still glad we've traveled with her. Since you're traveling to see family, it sounds like there would be many hands to help once you arrive. Let them all baby you : )-- and who knows, maybe you'll have an auntie or grandma who has that special touch with kids and can get Leela to nap without you. Wouldn't that be great?

Good luck.

[Aarohismom]

Hi Rashmi,
I too have a 21 months old spirited dd :)I have been to India with my dd twice.First time when she was 2 1/2 months old(it was great!) and second when she was 14 mnths old with my dh.At my second visit she did have little problem with jet lag but after 4-5 days she got used to her new schedule but it took her a month to get used to being around lot of people and noise(I stay in Pune).Then she started catching lot of cold and cough.It was a very hectic for us.She just wanted to be with me or her dad.But it all changed when her father left for US.She became more outgoing,she became very attached to her grandparents.It gave me a chance to meet my friends and go for shopping without her.(what a relief!!!)For colds I started giving her homeopathy and really worked for her.Well,the first month of the trip was tough on dd but after that she became completely Indian and it was difficult for her to adjust here after coming back because she was missing her grandparents and all the 'hallagulla' and friends from India.:)

[jec2]

Skip India & come to Cali so we can celebrate the little monkies' birthdays together :)

[papal]

Hey Vrunda!
I studied in Pune.. love the place! :)
Thanks for your input.. i am rethinking it again.. i really want to go and maybe if i offer enough coconuts to ganapati then leela will be okay! :)
I am worried about the cough and cold part too.. along with all the other things like malaria, typhoid and what not. Have to ask the ped about shots for these things. AND i still have to get her a passport... arrghh.. so much to do!

[papal]

You KNOW i would love to do that Jec! Or maybe we should meet somewhere in the middle so neither bugger has to sit in a plane for more than 3 hours! There are some good spa resorts in AZ i hear! :)

[papal]

Hey Janice.. our dd's are almost the same age.. and yes, my little bug is trying to walk desperately! Any day now! :)

I am so glad to hear that your travels were a good experience... everyone's stories are making me rethink my decision to GO and have FUN!

[papal]

Jec.. come with me! I promise you will have a FUN time.. we can hire one person to watch Finny and one person to watch Leela and we can go shopping all day long! :)
Now if only my boobs could stay behind at home while I am gone all day! I have to start weaning her from 11am to 6pm. So many things to plan! So overwhelming!

[papal]

>>Are you mostly worried about the flight or just being dh-less in India?
Mostly being dh-less. I think i can handle the flight somehow and the jetlag thereafter. I know i can hire help but i am such a freakin control freak... i would be following the help to make sure they were properly watching Leela.. i am so paranoid that something will happen to her if I am not there. Am i the only one like this? Does it get easier? Feeling overwhelmed again. :(

[Aarohismom]

i really want to go and maybe if i offer enough coconuts to ganapati then leela will be okay!>>LOL
I am worried about the cough and cold part too.. along with all the other things like malaria, typhoid and what not.>>I think typhoid shot is a must.I gave it to dd in India.My friend's kids did pretty well while in India.They just had one round of cold.So my advice will be don't be afraid.Take it easy with Leela.Ask your family member to find a good ped. near your home.Drink bottled or boiled water and avoid chaat temptation for initial few days and everything will be OKAY :)

[papal]

CHAAT!!!!!!!!! Ok, that's it.. i am booking my tickets tmmrw!! LOL.