I'm having trouble getting back to church

[lmariana]

I've always loved going to church, and hubby and I have been going to that church since we were dating.

Since the baby was born, we've only been back once! We just can't seem to get out the door on time. We have no real excuse, because our church offers 3 services (8:30 am, 10:30 am, and 12:30 pm), and they have WONDERFUL nurseries and great child care people.

I guess I just need encouragement. Has anyone else had trouble getting back into the swing of things post-baby?

Mariana
www.heinzandmariana.com
Mother of Gabriel, 08/14/2003

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030814/1/5/0/-5/.png[/img] ([img)

[DebbieJ]

I hear ya! We weren't part of a church before B came along, but have tried since. It's just so hard. Then to try to work it around nap time...ugh.

~ deb
Mommy to my sweet boy
B born 12/03
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10023.jpg http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[luvbeinmama]

You CAN do it. Really. Aim for either the 8:30 or the 10:30, then go to the next one if you miss it. Go. It will be worth it.

Blessings!

[jubilee]

I had a tough time going to church when I was nursing. Now that DS is weaned and the separation anxiety is greatly reduced, we all love going. I always leave church feeling so upbeat, filled with the Spirit, and ready to take on another week! We are active in our church, and in fact that is where DH and I met. And if I have to miss a week because DS is sick or whatever, my church videos the sermon and it is shown on cable TV here. But working around DS's naps is still an obsticle, we have to wake him up from nap in order to get to the 11am service. But a short nap once a week won't hurt anyone! I'll be praying that you are able to attend this Sunday :)

[himom]

We had a problem much like this one. I always drag on Sunday mornings and after DS was born I ended up making one excuse after another as to why we couldn't go. But on the Sundays I was there, I was always so happy! I love my church, I love the people, and I love being able to worship, fellowship, etc. It was just being home and comfy in bed that made me lazy.

The problem resolved itself after I resumed teaching a Sunday school class that I had taught pre-baby. Once I knew I HAD to be there and I was responsible for something, I was motivated enough to get DS & DH up and out the door. The more time we spent there the more we remembered how great it was. Now we are happily attending every Sunday.

So maybe you could volunteer in the nursery or another class? Even if you only do it one Sunday a month you may find that the additional friends you make while "working" kind of keep you longing to be there.

HTH!

Jodi

[AngelaS]

DH and I are both very active in our church (he's in music and I oversee the nursery) so skipping more than one week isn't easy to do! I'd consider volunteering in some way so that you're held accountable to be there. :D

You know, if you go, you'll be blessed! :D

[llcoddington]

Our church has Saturday night services and this has helped us get to church and mostly on time! We occasionally go to a Sunday service and it's harder to get out the door. But, somehow my mom and DH's mom managed with 4 kids to get to church every Sunday and on time, so I know it is possible! :)

Like some previous posters, DH volunteers (camera crew) so he has to be there Sunday morning. We are interested in a new Sunday morning class for parents, so we may start going Sunday morning instead.

You know, the Sundays (or Saturdays) I do miss church, I miss it so much. It's like a breath of fresh air!

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[mamicka]

The only reason I'm able to get going on time is because my DH is an on-time freak. I'm upstairs still getting ready in the bathroom, & he's downstairs calling-up the minutes I have left. Needless to say, just about every week, DH & DS are waiting for me in the car & I'm running out the door with mascara in one hand & shoes in the other. But we get there on time (or early) every week.

You always seem like a pretty organized person so you probably already do this, but it helps to have all the clothes & "stuff" put together the night before. I at least get this done for DS, if not myself.

It isn't easy, but you'll get there.
Allison

[Karenn]

Getting back to church was really hard for us for the first 18 months. Between naps, various colds, and seperation anxiety it was really hard to show up on a regular basis. We didn't even have DS dedicated until his first birthday, and that was something that was really important to us! Some of our friends at church have had the same troubles. It seems to be a season of life that will soon pass.

One thing that worked for us was deciding the night before which service we would go to and then wake up with a plan to get to that service. If we tried to make the decision in the morning, it was too easy to lay around the house and say, "Are we going today? I don't know, do you think we should?" until it was too late to go.

Good luck!

[Jen in Chicago]

All I can say is make it a priority if you want to go. We do! In Chicago we loved our church, and had a group of friends we would meet up with after mass. In addition, I was active in the church. Few things you could do...

Pick a time that would allow you to add another event to you list (10 am church, then Brunch, 5pm church then dinner, 12 am church then naptime for babe and Sunday paper for Mom and Dad....)

Pick a time that your child will nap during church (Father is OK with this)- not an issue if you utilize the nursery

Make it an event! Church and a park, or Church and shopping, or Church then pizza,... When I met my husband he said I went to church just for the post-church dinner we would meet up with family for.

Going up we had Sunday School, Church, social hour (kids played on the play ground equipment after a donut hole) then the car wash. Once a month we went to a nursing home and delivered flowers from church.

Going to church recharges me for the week. It allows me to thank the lord for all of the blessing in my life, and the strength to make it through the next week.

We just moved and need to shop around for our church home, which is discouraging b/c we loved where we where.

[Dcclerk]

I do understand. Especially with naps, it is hard. For us, pre-DS, we always went to the 11:00 service. It is still our favorite one, but just doesn't jive with DS's schedule. So now, we go to the 8:30 a.m. one. I totally agree with a PP that it helps to make a plan the night before and just go with it. For us, the earliest service means that we wake up, do our morning routine and are out the door. DS still can have a nap after the service, and we didn't have time to ponder whether we should go or not. Good luck finding your church groove again!

[trentsmom]

Yes, it was hard to get back in the swing of things. Once I got out of the habit of going every Sunday, it's been hard to get back in the habit. My parents live close, so among the 4 of us we would "tag team" watching DS for the first few months. My mom would come over about 9:15 and watch the baby while we finished getting ready, and then we would go to 9:45 service. My dad would come over after the 8:30 service so that my mom could go to the 11:00 service. Once winter was over, we took DS into the service with us. It's a contemporary service with lots of other little ones, so it didn't disrupt too much if he made noise. When he became a little more active, we started leaving him in the nursery. He has a great time in there watching the other children!

If I think I'll be rushed on a Sunday morning, I'll wash my hair the night before and blow-dry it straight knowing I can use a curling iron or hot rollers to finish it up in the morning. Then I only have to wash my body. This also helps me not to be so hot and sweaty when I'm ready. (I never cooled down after my pregnancy.)

Sometimes I think I don't have time to go to church. Then I think about all the time I have to spend on the computer or watching TV - and I don't have an hour or two to worship the Lord? The One Who has given me everything? Humbling. Going to church sets my week. I feel lost and don't feel like I know what day it is if I don't go.

I hope you make it to church this Sunday! Let us know.

[hez]

Sending encouragement! We're like some of the PP's in that we get really involved. DH runs the team responsible for the sound/media, and I run another team. People notice when we're not there, and most of our close friends here are church friends. We often go out to lunch together after services, so having the social aspect to look forward to helps as well. Plus, most of our friends have kids so we all tag team on getting them fed, held, changed, burped, etc.

That all said, it took me at least a month to get back to church after DS was born (DH kept going), and it took me 'til he was about 5 months before I left him in the nursery during the services. I was too attached to him :)

You can do it! Go, even if you show up late (we've got lots of friends who do!).

[MamaKath]

You can do it! You sound like you are one step ahead in that it sounds like you have a great church. I know it can be very hard after having a baby to make worship/church a priority. Let's face it, you go through a period of time where getting a shower (your standards lower by child number 2, it becomes teeth brushed, lol) by 3 PM is your biggest priority and you may not always meet that! Get ready the night before (pack diaper bag, pull out clothes, set alarm clocks, etc), plan for an early service and catch the next one if you miss it. Bring a sling (or stroller if your church allows it and he'd be more comfortable), a couple favorite toys and snacks for the baby in case you choose to keep him with you. And as a pp poster said, plan a special event (love the car wash) for after each time so you all look forward to it!

And you are not the only one! My biggest encouragement comes from my 5 year old these days who loves church and Sunday School. We go to a small church, 1 service, and no child care. Dh's shift switched recently (gotta love the raised terror alert- 6 days a week, 12 hour shifts) so he is no longer able to go. It is like pulling teeth for me to go with "Screamin Steve" my 2 yo without him. And we are always late!!! Lol! :-( I long for the days with a younger child and a church with child care! ;-)

[JLiebCamm]

I had this problem. My solution was to join the choir. It gives me more of a reason to show up every week knowing that my presence will be missed as part of the group. Even if you don't sing, sign up for something that will keep you more involved.

[mudder17]

I understand...when DD was born, I actually stayed at home for the first 4 weeks (except for her 2 week pede appt) under doctor's orders. The pede also said DD would be ready to go out after 4 weeks, so I made that our deadline. When she turned 4 weeks old (she was born on a Sunday), we went in and she was welcomed with open arms. :) DH and I are both in the choir and I'm also in the bell choir, so it felt really good to be back. The funny thing is that she was in the nursery downstairs and in between the choral pieces, I zipped down to check on her and see if she needed feeding. Each time she was sound asleep (LOL how I miss those days!). We also started going to Wednesday night suppers and choir rehearsals at that time, and just brought DD along, since she was still in her portable stage. It was so much fun and felt like going home, in a way.

We also did an infant dedication when she was around 8 weeks old and during the dedication, we talked about how the babies in the church are being brought up not only by the parents but by the people in the congregation. Part of our responsibility as parents is to bring them to church and show them that it's an important part of our lives. Hearing that really made me realize that it's one of the things we can do. And like a PP, if my parents could do it with 4 children, we could certainly do it with one! Other than choir, DH and I are also involved in many aspects of our church, which really brings us there every Sunday and Wednesday. I think the hardest part was just doing it in the first place. But as a PP said, once we got there, we realized just how much we missed it. And I think aiming for the 8:30 or 10:30 will help you so that if you're not ready until 9:30 or 11:30 or whatever, you can still make the next service.

You can do it! And you'll be so blessed. :)


Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya
born 22 February 2004

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http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_garnet_6m.gif Breastfed 6 months and counting

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[luvbeinmama]

I sent you a pm...

[MamaKath]

Right back at ya!!! ;-) :-)