How much time between babies?

[jamsmu]

How did you, or are you, or will you, space your kids? DH and I had a talk last night. (following my pill crisis in a previous post). I thought we both wanted to wait until winter to TTC, but he was all for starting tonight. He didn't see the point in switching pills, etc. and said "whats a few months?"

But I'd really like to wait and have about 2 years + a month or two between the kids.

What do you think/plan?

[MelissaTC]

I thought I wanted 2 years apart but after experiencing the two's, I am glad DS will be at least 3 before another child is born.

[Kate888]

I opt to have them 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 years apart. DH wants to have the second sooner. He said his biological clock is ticking (he's six years older than me) LOL! However, I don't think my patience is enough for 2 under two. Another reason is that I really enjoy the one on one time with DD. It's very nice to just take it slow and focusing having a good time with her. She is 2 year and 7 months now and I can reason with her most of the time, so I hope this will make it easier when we have #2.

This is our play so far :)


Kate
Mama to Maya 2-17-02 and Polo (my big black dog)http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/dog.gif


http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/ptrose.gif

[Calmegja2]

Our kids range from 24 months apart to 30 months apart. We had a time limit for when we had to be done having babies, so we didn't have a huge amount of choice in the matter. We had to be done by a certain age, we wanted 3/4 kids, so....voila...our spacing.

There's been no big difference in that spacing for us. Around 2-2.5 years worked just great for us, and for our family plan, and I'm still sane.

Most days. **wink, wink**

[JElaineB]

Based on my experiences growing up I want a minimum of 3 years between kids, though 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 will be more likely. My sister and I were only 2 years apart and we did not get along (I bit her the day she came home from the hospital!) Her and my other sister were 3 years apart and they get along great. I know it is different in every family but that has really influenced my decision.We're only planning on 2 total.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[jk3]

I would've liked to have 2 under two years apart but it doesn't look like that will happen. Hopefully, we will have two about 2-2 1/2 years apart. Ideally, I'd like to have a third about 3-4 years after a 2nd. Some people are lucky enough to be able to plan these things but it doesn't always work out so easily. My motto at this point is anytime is a good time.

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[Raidra]

I'm ready to TTC any day, but my husband wants to wait. Every month when I go to start a new pack of pills, I say, "Are you sure you don't want to try this month??" ;)

[Marisa6826]

Amelia and Sophie will be exactly one week short of two years apart.

We didn't necessarily plan it this way, but that's the way the fertility drugs worked this time around. ;)

I think I might have planned it closer to three years apart if I had my choice, but I needed to get in under that 35 wire and Jonathan just turned 40, so we knew we'd have an even more difficult time getting preggo if we waited.

-m

[C99]

Julie,

My husband was exactly like yours -- he didn't want to wait. We still haven't decided if we will have 2 or 3 and he also has a "deadline." All I know is that I don't want the spacing my parents had w/ us. My brother is 6 years younger and my sister is 15 years younger.

[lizajane]

schuyler and dylan/elliott/bennett/??? will be 22 months apart, or maybe a little less. i am due exactly one day after 22 months apart, but i think i will go early.

we choose this spacing because:

we wanted them to be super close and have things in common so that we didn't have to drive a 10 year old to soccer on one side of town and a 5 year old to soccer on the other side of town, or so they could ride the same rides at disneyworld, or so they would have the potential to be best pals and do things together-not only playing at 5 and 7, but also at 15 and 17, or so they could share a room without being too far apart in "stages" of development, etc etc.

we wanted to do the "baby thing" and then move on to the rest of our family life

we were really excited about having our "whole" family and couldn't wait to make it all happen!!

i am 2.5+ years younger than my sister and felt like we were ALMOST close enough in age. we got along really well as children, not so much as teens (she was mean!!) and great as adults. we get along great with my baby brother who is 19 (i am 29) but he is just now becoming more of a brother and less of a "baby" who we care for.

[tinkerbell1217]

My first two are 18 months apart. It was rough!! I think ideal spacing is 2.5 or 3 yrs apart.

[pamela mom of 3]

Well the first thing i learned is it's hard to actually "plan" these things ;) i'm sure for some it works out but anyhow....

My first two were going to be 18mths apart, looking back now i realize that was probably too soon. Anyhow the reality turned out to be 2.5yrs apart and then well three was "surprise" and so the middle and last are 2yrs apart.

Now almost 4yrs later with having three kids, i think i would like 3-4yrs apart, probably more pushing to 4yrs actually. It lessens double stuff..you know two in diapers etc and even the gear and usually you can have one in school full time quicker that way, to help you have more "alone" time with baby.

Of coarse this is just my opinion, many factors fall into what somebody is comfortable with and what works best.

good luck! :)

~Pamela Mom to the Trio Of Trouble http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/otn/angels/newangel.gif



http://lilypie.com/baby4/010103/0/5/3/-6/.png

[barbarhow]

26 months if all goes well with our little sprout. Might have waited a little longer but given my age.....(41) couldn't.

[mamahill]

We're planning on 3 kids, each 3 years apart. As you can see by my sig, we're right on track. I'm 3 years older than my sister and we always shared a room and activities. Yeah, we fought sometimes, but what siblings don't? Mostly, we were great friends. We're extremely close now. Like Kate said, I wouldn't have the patience to have 2 under 2. It has only been recently that I've thought, "ok, NOW I can handle being pg, and in a 9 months I'll be able to handle a newborn and a toddler."

But really, there isn't a right answer. There's only a right answer for you. Do whatever you are comfortable with. Everything will always work out. Afterall, I haven't seen any of the ladies here put one of their kids up for adoption ;).

[MartiesMom2B]

We are planning on having two children about 4 - 5 years apart. I had horrible morning sickness during my pregnancy and I do not want a toddler running around at home while I am sick. I also do not not want to have two in diapers at the same time, and I think it'll be nice that Martie can entertain herself and even help out when she's 4. We have some family goals that we'd like to accomplish before having another child.

Personally, I don't think that having kids very close together means that they'll be the best of friends. I really think it's the personalities of the siblings that count.

-Sonia

[Jeanmick]

We knew we wanted the kids about 2-3 years apart, so we started trying for our second child when DD was 18 months old. Since it took a few months before we were pregnant the first time, we thought it would take a while before we got pregnant again. Uh, no. We got pregnant the first time! It was okay with us, because we also figured that a few months wouldn't have made any difference. We really like the age difference (a little over 2 years) between the them.

Good luck in your decision!

[m448]

I'm following the WHO guidelines for EBF (at least 2 years or more until self-weaning) so that takes care of space for me (the term is ecological breastfeeding).

He's almost 11 months and I haven't had an AF since Jan. 2003. I'm guessing the spacing will be 2-3 years and we're shooting for 3-4 kids.

[murpheyblue2]

I think we'll start TTC again when DD is about two. DH is a SAHD and he doesn't think he can handle them any closer together than that. By that time DD will be 3-ish when the next one is born and likely doing some pre-school to give him a break.

[Momof3Labs]

At least three years. But now that I'm living the terrible twos, a four year difference is starting to sound good. But with DH's age and the fertility treatments that we require, it will probably be closer to three years.

[stella]

I had never thought about giving one up for adoption - the problem would be which one to pick - on some days it would have to be Wade, but lately it would be Anna. She is coming into the two's full force!

Mine were 17 months apart and that was a big surprise! There's no way to describe the feeling of discovering a positive pregnancy test when you have an eight month old baby!!

But it has been a lot of fun. There have been a lot of days when I just had to surrender to the chaos and realize that we were going to eat cheerios and stay in our pajamas all day. But we seem to have muddled through the first three years all right.

And the best part has been how much they really do enjoy each other! They are lost on their own and ask for each other constantly when not together.

[egoldber]

I used to be so into dialing in the spacing. Now I realize that any spacing has advantages and disadvantages associated with it. I really wanted 3 years, then got a bad case of baby fever and decided on 2 1/2 years. Well, fate had other plans for me, and at best our children will be almost 4 years apart. So go with your gut feeling. If you think its too soon, then its too soon for you. If you think its fine, it will probably be fine.

I can definitely see the upside to a wider spacing though. There is a huge difference between a 2 year old and a 3 year old in terms of their maturity and their ability to reason. You can discuss emotions and fears with a 3 year old in a way that you just can't with a 2 year old.

[nohomama]

Lola and Astrid are just 3 weeks shy of being exactly 3 years apart. 3 years was the spacing we where aiming for and we just lucked out that that's the spacing we got.

[lisams]

Well, when DD was younger (not a toddler ;-)) we were thinking 2 1/2 -3 years apart. Now that we are in total toddlerhood we are thinking 3 1/2 - 4 years apart. I am enjoying my time with her so much, that I'm really not desiring another right away, although all of the recent announcements are giving me a case of baby fever :-)!!! We'll be happy with whatever happens I'm sure though!

Lisa

[smilequeen]

I would love for it to be 3 years...My husband would like less than 18 months (he and his brother are 15 months apart).

We are compromising with probably trying again soon after his first birthday. For one, I just turned 30, and we may want 3, so aiming for 3 years seems to be pushing it, mostly b/c we already didn't get pregnant super easily. We learned trying to have Simon that we have absolutely no control over when we get pregnant. We did the charting, ovulation tests, everything, and it still took a year doing everything right...so we no longer have any belief that we can make the babies exactly so many months apart. It will happen when it happens, but I don't want it to happen any earlier than when he's a year old myself...and THAT we might have some control over ;)

[psophia17]

DS is 8.5 mos, and I'd be totally happy having another one tomorrow - so would DH. However, I had a C/S and four months later an appendectomy, and dr's orders are to wait 12 months after major abdominal surgery...

Our original plan was for about 2 years b/t kids - that's how it was with DH and his brother, and how it was with the 3 kids my parents had. Also, I want 4, DH wants 2, so if we have two good ones, maybe I'll get a 3rd, and if we have 3 good ones, maybe a 4th...so far we have one really good baby, which is why we're both totally wanting the 2nd already.

But still we wait...

-Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[slknight]

That's great that you're EBF, but I wouldn't count on it for birth control. There are plenty of people who have gotten pregnant while BF, even without having AF!

[llcoddington]

I would love to have babies 2 years apart but this is not a possibility with Lauren and a sibling due to some health issues I need to have addressed. DH and I both want a big family but we are both close to 30 so we know that we don't have forever. So, I am guessing that Lauren will be close to 3 when we have baby #2. However, we are also hoping to adopt so maybe we will adopt baby #2 sooner than that and then baby #3 will be right behind baby #2!

Honestly, I have found that my timing isn't always reality. We would have had our first baby 3 years ago but God had other plans. So, I hope and pray for a big family with children close together.

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[DDowning]

It took 2.5 years of fertility drugs and inseminations to conceive Carson. Since DH is 37 and I'm 33 and knowing how long it took us previously, we decided to start trying for baby 2 when he turned 1. Ironically, the first attempt worked. Shocked the heck out of us. So our son and daughter will be about 20 months apart if she goes full term. We haven't ruled a third child but I will say its much harder trying to enjoy the pregnancy when you're trying to keep your 15 month old from climbing on the fireplace mantel and stop pestering the cat.

[sbjf]

Yeah, don't count on that for rock solid birth control, look at me!!! Full time breasteeding and got pg when ds was only 3 months old. Granted he went through a period of sleeping 10-12 hours a night, so that explains a lot, but still!!! Luckily dh and I were open for a surprise so we are happy. We would have been on birth control if we were not open to a surprise.

[hez]

Hmmm... Anywhere from 2-4 years. We won't start actively trying 'til DS is at least 15 months old, and we'll go with the flow from there. Still haven't seen AF yet, either, so who the heck knows. I'd like to be done with having children by the time I'm 35, so the most we really should go is 3 years between if we want to have 3. We're undecided on how many-- if we have a second boy I may have the need to try for a girl :) Ugh-- all this talk about babies is giving me baby fever, too!

[jubilee]

My two are 11 years apart, and I actually HIGHLY recommend it! :) I doubt that spacing is what you are wanting, but whatever life deals you, I'm sure you will feel blessed!

[Torey]

Well, we'll probably have 3 years btw. #1 and #2. Although most of my friends have their kids spaced around 2 years, I think I would have been exhausted running around after DD the past 5 months if I had been pg. So I'm kind of relieved that we didn't have them that close. However, after #2, I'll probably shoot for no more than 2 years apart since we'd like to have at least 4 (or more if God gives them to us). I feel kind of behind since I'm in my late 20s and only have one and most of my friends have 2, 3, or 4 already. Believe it or not my sister's DH comes from a family with 13 kids. I think his mom had her first at age 22 and the last (twins) at age 46.

[m448]

It's actually no problem since we're not avoiding pregnancy at all. However, ecological BFing implies no bottles, no pacifiers, BFing on demand (and for comfort) as well as extended BFing. He's almost 11 months old and still exclusively BF (besides a handful of tastes in the last month).

I also know for sure I'm not PG since I do test periodically.

[TahliasMom]

Well our little girl is only 4 months and we're just starting to enjoy parenthood. Since my brother and I were almost 4 years apart, he's older, we fought all through our childhood and we still don't get along. He liked being the only kid for so long. So my thought is no more than 2 years apart. I'm hoping that will make them closer. Also, we're not getting any younger!
have a blessed day,
Katherine

[amp]

I think ideally, if I had all the time in the world, I would have waited to TTC until DS was about 2 or thereabouts, so he would have been 'around' 3 when a sib came along.

However, my Advanced Maternal Age dictated to my gut that we should not wait. So we started TTC when Jacob turned 1. As you probably read earlier, we are expecting another little bundle of joy just before Jacob turns 2.

God, I hope I can handle it! :o