Desperately need help with sleeping!!!

[HHCs Mom]

DS is 6 months old. He is still waking 2 - 3 times/night and sometimes more --- this week it's been 4-5 times/night. He doesn't just whimper, he wails until he is fed. When he was smaller, he'd sleep one long 5 hour stretch after he first went to bed and then wake every 3 hours after that. It wasn't too bad, but now it's every 3 hours and sometimes more often than that. This newer, more awful version has been going on for over a month, so I would think a growth spurt can be ruled out.

I have read a million articles on sleep and even read Elizabeth Pantley's book (No Cry Sleep Solution). I am not excited about CIO since I've tried it and the child will *literally* cry for hours on end if that's what it takes.

We are still swaddling since it helps him to sleep better and longer. He naps beautifully during the day, goes down with no problems, sleeps great. We always put him down awake for both naps and at night, so he puts himself to sleep all the time. He still uses the pacifier for naps and night time sleep, but won't accept the paci when I try to give it to him rather than picking him up and feeding him in the night.

I am literally losing my sanity due to the exhaustion. Now I know why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device for POW's! I would gladly give up state secrets for a few hours' sleep! :-) It has had a negative impact on my marriage --- we are both so cranky and tired and have started arguing more. I am in tears and so frustrated that we can't get him to sleep for longer periods at night. We just can't figure out what the unknown variable is that is causing DS to wake at night...

ETA: He goes to bed about 8 and sleeps until 7 or 8 the next morning, it's just the 4 or 5 times he wakes during that time that is killing us. We cannot keep him up any later than 8 --- he is fussing and crying to go to bed at that time, so we let him.

PLEASE help!!! Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Kim
~~ Harrison 04/06/04

[lisaE]

Oh, you poor thing.

DS did this for a while. I would pick him up and comfort him, rocking, etc. but not feed him. He would fall asleep pretty quickly after that. I knew he didn't *need* to eat, so I wouldn't feed him. One night he just qiut doing it. He still wakes up once a night now to eat, but it is wonderful compared to where we were.

Not sure if this will work for you- just an idea of what we did. Hang in there Mama. You're doing great!

[HHCs Mom]

We tried this but quit since it was much easier to just feed and get him to quit wailing. I keep thinking we should go back to it again. The problem is that he wails so loudly that it wakes DH up too and then no one gets sleep. I also *know* that DS does not need to eat --- he's 18lbs and 27 1/2" long --- well past the stage for needing to eat all night long. About how long did it take your DS to quit waking after you started doing this? We didn't stick with it for too long, which I'm sure is part of the problem. We need more consistency! I see you've been breastfeeding, too, which I am also doing. I would give anything for just ONE waking a night. It is feasible for a baby who sleeps 11-12 hours a night to need to eat once, but not 2 or 3 times. I can deal with once, but not multiple times! :-)

Thanks for your advice!
Kim
~~ Harrison 04/06/04

[psophia17]

I don't know if it will work for your baby, or if it was just a fluke thing with mine, but anything's worth a shot, right?

When DS was just starting to sleep through the night, he would occasionally start whimpering for a few minutes before he fully woke up and howled. I was a really light sleeper from all the night feedings still, so I was often able to get up, pick him up without waking him fully, pop the paci into his mouth, and get him back into his crib without him realizing he was awake.

The other thing that it might be is hunger - are you feeding solids yet? In "Your Baby and Child," by Penelope Leach, it said that as a baby gets to a certain size, he needs more calories to continue growing adequately than breastmilk or formula alone can provide given the avg. size of a baby's stomach. If your DS is at that point, maybe giving solids would help. We started DS out on mashed banana and pureed fruits and veggies when he was about 4 months, and although he was never much of a night waker to begin with, we have no reason not to think he might have been had we not already started him on solids. As he got older, we added a little cereal into the fruits to thicken them, but given the number of horror stories about babies not being ready for cereals, I'm glad we started with fruit.

Good Luck!!!

-Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[lizajane]

at 6 months, i would try solids.

i would also try motrin. schuyler popped his first tooth right at 6.5 months, and the wakings starting exactly 2 weeks before the tooth came out. but the second tooth took a whole month to appear (but i could tell it was coming long before it appeared).

finally, i would try feeding once or twice and rocking the other times, even though it is much harder, i know. maybe feed the first and last waking, or the 2nd and last and see if you can elimate one or two wakings at a time.

ETA: Oh! i almost forgot- try an EARLIER bedtime. you said he was fussing because he was so tired. try getting him to bed BEFORE he is that tired.

[HannaAddict]

I think this sleep thing just has natural ebbs and flows. Maybe even try to put him down earlier. It seems counter-intuitive, but when we moved my son's bedtime up he slept longer. My son was a great sleeper with no "training," he just nurses and then usually goes to sleep about 7- 7:30 pm. He was sleeping for 7-8 hours at a stretch but then started waking up multiple times when about 4 mos. We were exhausted, but after seeing this board and babycenter.com boards, all the babies his age were doing the same thing. Then another blissful month of once a night wake-up call. Then about 6 months (he's 6.5 months), he started waking up at about 11 or midnight to eat then back to sleep, then 2 or 3 am (brutal), then 4 or 5 (zombie tired at this point and nursing him in our bed), then 6 or 6:30, then 7ish. AAHH. That lasted off and on for a few weeks. Now he's back (with no intervention) to sleeping from about 7 to 5 am. Hurray. He's a big guy too, over 28" and 18 and half pounds at his 6 mos. visit. Our pediatrician said go ahead and feed him at night (he's breast fed), he is growing like a weed and needs the calories. We started solids, just cereal, a couple of weeks ago but it is really for texture. Solids really doesn't "add" calories, it takes a ton of rice cereal or baby food to equal the calories in breast milk. So you don't feed solids because they are "hungry." Breast milk is much more caloric. I would try and get up as soon as you hear him and know he isn't going back to sleep, feed him a bit to go back to sleep and ride out this stage. Good luck and I hope he is back to letting you get some sleep soon. I know how hard the sleep deprivation is.

[nwaddellr]

I just wanted to add my experience to the mix. I've also found that sleeping seems to go in spurts. My DS has been all over the board as to how many times he wakes up at night. I had decent luck with a white noise machine - we actually got a week's worth of sleeping through the night (7:30-4:30) and then he started working on six teeth and that went out the window. I just feed him and put him back to bed, and eventually he seems to wake up less often, but nothing I've done (besides the white noise machine) seems to make much difference in how many times he wakes up a night!

[mharling]

I agree with starting an earlier bedtime. It sounds like he's happy when you put him down, so I would try earlier in the hope that he's in the crib by the time he gets tired enough to fall asleep rather than after that time. I suspect he needs more night sleep than 8 to 7 minus being awake 4 or 5 times. Good luck and keep us posted!!

Mary
Lane - April 2003
Little brother or sister on the way - EDD March 2