How long did you wait to tell people you were pregant?

[sidmand]

I'm sure this was probably asked before, so if it was recently, sorry!

But how long do/did/should you wait to tell people that you are pregnant? And then how did you tell them?

Thanks!
Debbie

BTW: This is my first poll question, so I hope it works okay!

[Jen in Chicago]

We told my parents at dinner with a question "Dad, remember how you went to FAO and bought me a bear during my foot surgery... well, would you do the same for your grandchild when I deliver him or her at the same hospital...(they were not getting it)... NEXT MAY." Instant tears!

[hez]

I don't know how to vote. We told our best friends the day we found out. We told our parents around 10 weeks. We told folks at work at around 13 weeks.

Most folks we called (both sets of parents are out of town). My folks were on their way home from a cruise with all their friends, so they got to toast us in the airport bar... At work I was found out at a Happy Hour when someone realized I'd been drinking Sprite all night instead of my standard margaritas. The news spread like wildfire after that!

[KrisM]

We wanted to tell our families in person, so my family found out at 17 weeks, and DH's family at 19 weeks. On the other hand, our friends and co-workers knew at 13 weeks. It was weird to tell them first, but co-workers were starting to place bets on whether I was pregnant or not. (Background - my DH and I work together and got married while working there. Our co-workers seem to think they're all part of the family now. They're a great group, of guys, so it's okay.)

[Marisa6826]

Because we did IUI and fertility drugs, we knew at 6w that I was preggo.

Close friends and family (not all family) knew pretty soon, I think I told here at 8w.

My feeling is that God forbid I had a miscarriage or if something went terribly wrong, I would need the support of others to get through it.

Others feel differently. It's your call.

As far as how we told people, I told them Sophie was going to be a big sister! ;)

-m

[amp]

The first time we told only our closest friends (2 or 3 couples) and our parents shortly after we found out. We didn't tell others (coworkers, etc) until after 12 wks. We didn't tell in any special way, but just called or saw people and told them.

With this pregnancy, it's worked the same way. We've only disclosed to the people closest to us so far. We announced it to my mom by meeting her at the airport w/ Jake wearing an "I'm the big brother" shirt, which instantly worked! Then we sent that pic in an email to my IL's and my mom called my dad on the phone to tell him.

[jk3]

With my first pregnancy, my Dh wanted to tell everyone asap so we told everyone at around 8 weeks. I wanted to wait since I had a bad feeling about it + did in fact have a mc. For me, it was not helpful that others knew since that's not how I tend to deal with things. The one saving grace is that no one at work knew which made work feel like a safe haven. The second time around we told our family at 12 weeks, our friends at 14 weeks + I let them know at work at around 18 weeks since I really wasn't showing for some time. Next time around I will probably follow the same protocol with the exception of telling my close friends as soon as we find out.

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[californiamom]

I don't know how to vote either. We told our families and closest friends shortly after we found out. At work I waited 12 weeks...

It was funny. It was Easter holiday and I REALLY wanted to get away (we had made plans to go to a B&B in Canada for the long weekend). I needed it to re-energize and just snuggle up with hubby since I had recently lost my loving daddy...

I took the FINAL pregnancy test (I was in such a shock I took the test 4 times!) the morning of the trip. I knew if I told DH we would end up not going anywhere, so I jumped up and down in the bathroom by myself, then finished packing and we took off. I had bought the book "The Expectant Father" in advance, wrapped it and put it away in a drawer for the big day. I washed the test and wrapped it with the book and put it in my purse. When we arrived in Canada I was starving so I told DH we should go find a nice quiet restaurant to have lunch. The first one we found was kind of too bright and not cozy, and it was crowded so I told him we should "keep looking". We then found this quiet place by the lake, BEAUTIFUL, and it was pretty empty. I thought it was the perfect setting for the big announcement. :-) So we chose a table by the window, I found our waiter on my way to the ladies' room and discreetly told him to give us a few minutes in private after we got our drinks. Then I gave DH his gift, and he was like "you shouldn't have done this, I didn't get you anything for Easter" to which I replied "Oh, yes, you DID!” ;-) He opened the gift and at first he seemed confused and didn't quite understand. He loved the book and said that was great (we were already shopping for pregnancy and baby books because we were "trying" so it wasn’t an immediate given). He stared at the pregnancy test confused... So I told him "you didn't get it, did you?” That MINUTE his face turned red as he asked rhetorically "get what?” It was hilarious. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry in happiness! He was ecstatic. I took a series of very funny pictures of his MANY facial expressions after hearing the big news. From that moment on I wasn’t even allowed to carry my own purse! :-) LOL

For my family, since they live far away, I prepared a PowerPoint show that said "Guess who is coming for Christmas? Santa Claus? The Easter Bunny? No, it is our first baby!!". It was really cute. I sent it out and called everybody as well.

For his family, we decided to stop by his parents place on our way back from Canada (his brother and sister and their kids were there that weekend as well). We bought plastic Easter Eggs and foam letters that spelled "we are expecting". We put one letter inside each egg, hid the eggs throughout the house and told them they needed to find the eggs, open them and guess what we wanted to tell them -- "an Easter message". :-) They tried a few times but were stuck in "except" until my niece screamed "oh my God, you are expecting!!" and everybody was in tears after that! My sweet father in law ran out to buy me a big healthy salad and even chicken fingers from KFC -- my favorite junk food!!

It was truly a weekend to remember. Thanks for reading this and for letting me share! :-)

Ana

[psophia17]

We told our parents the day after we took the pg test - it was Mother's Day, and we couldn't contain ourselves.

People at work started guessing at about 9 weeks. I glowed, several coworkers would look at me funny a few times, and then come to my office to ask me if I was pg. Once a few knew, the rumor mill started and everyone knew.

-Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[dr mom]

We told our parents immediately, at about 8 weeks. Called them and told them over the phone.

I wanted to wait until after 12 weeks to make the announcement at work. Unfortunately, I had terrible morning sickness, and at the time I was working in a nursing home, so the many interesting aromas were overwhelming to my already queasy stomach. I was racing to the bathroom a dozen or more times a day, and after a week or so of this, I finally came clean with my co-workers who said "thank heavens, we thought maybe you had an eating disorder!"

[Saartje]

What a very sweet story! Thank you so much for sharing, Ana.

[rottiemom]

I waited until after the amnio to tell our family. I had had a bunch of mcs and this conception happened about 3 months after the absolute last "I am NOT going through this again, one of us is getting fixed". Sorry if I offend anyone but I've always been uncomfortable when people feel the need to announce a pregnancy as soon as they see the results on the stick. I would have been one to wait to make the announcement even if it hadn't been for my lousy track record. As it turned out I didn't even suspect that I was pregnant because I was under so much stress at work and as it turned out I was nearly 8 weeks by the time I got to the Dr (knock me over with a feather since I was only 2 weeks late!).

This was the easiest, most trouble free pregnancy that I had ever endured but I was in shock the whole time. As my Dr so eloquently put it when I apologized for not demonstrating any excitement, I didn't know how to have a baby, only a miscarriage. She was right, since I spent the first 5 months expecting the inevitable once we did the amnio & saw the healthy, mobile & determined facehugger squirming around inside reality set in & we knew that we had a lot to do in a very short time.

So now to tell the families. It's late September and the baby's due in January. This is going to be the shortest pregnancy on record. I wanted to tell my mom first so I got her a photo album with "Grandma's Brag Book" on the front, wrote "guess what?!" underneath & my husband & I gave it to her as a gift. She was confused by this "gift for no reason", thanked us politely and said that she could use the album for pictures of Natalie (her great granddaughter). I pointed out that if that was the case the album should say GREAT grandma's brag book. She looked at the cover again, looked at the two of us and burst into tears. My mother was the only one that knew about the mcs (well after the fact) so she was ecstatic and positively bursting because she couldn't tell anyone since we had to tell the rest of the family.

I sent my brother a card with the word "uncle" circled (actually it was a Jewish new year card because that was the only one that I could find with "uncle" on it). Inside we wrote "Guess what? Find out in January", and when we went to tell my husband's family we brought a card as well, something about a grandchild being the greatest gift. My husband's father actually got annoyed by the card until we spelled it out for him (sigh...)

The funniest thing about all of this was that I was five months along & nobody had any clue that I was pregnant. I always wore loose tops & since I'm...er...busty my chest kept on outdistancing my stomach until the final month. I was showing like crazy if I had my shirt off but who was gonna see me like that? By the time people at work started noticing I was practically at my due date.

Like I said, I've got to be different!

Nina

[mudder17]

Well, for my parents, I think I told them after a few days. But we told my in-laws as soon as we knew because my MIL was in the hospital at the time and we wanted to give her a bit of good news. I'm glad we did because she passed away a few hours later! It was kind of a shock, but we were so glad that she knew. For the rest of the close relatives, I think we told them a couple weeks later. For everyone else, I think we told them after a month, but my memory is actually kind of hazy.


Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_garnet_6m.gif Breastfed 7 months and counting

[calebsmama03]

With C I wanted to wait until closer to 12 weeks, but we'd had a family reunion trip planned already at 8 weeks, and DH wanted to say something then, so we did. With this one, I again wanted to wait but my mom was staying with us last week and given that my morning sickness is such that I gag mid-sentence, I ended up telling her and my sister but we haven't yet told DH's family.

As for HOW, last time we had a party for FIL's retirement so we gave him a card addressed to Grandpa, but we were so nervous about it that we forgot to write the "and baby" after our names and FIL has 6 other grandkids so he couldn't figure out why we'd made a big deal of giving him this card in front of everyone, LOL! Took my SIL to figure out that "we" wouldn't usually write Grandpa. For this one, I took the idea off this board and got the BRU "I'm the big brother" shirt and will send either a video or an e-mail photo with him in that shirt and holding the first u/s pic, so we won't send till after next week when I GET that u/s pic :) Should be comical since the shirt fits him like a dress :) C wears 12 mos and the smallest they had in the "big" brother was 2T.
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
Oh my!! #2 5/05

[soexcited]

We took the test at 5:00am and called our parents at 6:00am the same morning, waking everyone up! Of course once they found out they weren't too groggy :)


-Lisa

[sidmand]

Thank you Nina (and everyone) for sharing your stories. It's been great to read them. I know three months is pretty standard to wait. I'm so horrible at keeping secrets though. As long as I don't see (or talk to!) anyone I know, I'll be fine. :)

And we are/were in the middle of adopting, so no one would even ask or suspect about anything else.

A big change in perspective. My reality for two years has been adoption and this is all very surreal! Besides the fact that Monday, after talking with a high-risk OB/GYN I had pretty much decided against even attempting pregnancy. But, I was already pregnant at the time. Although really really just barely. (Those two weeks between our third adoption fall through and the time to start taking precautions again were a bit emotional and I figured, why not at least attempt? Who knew?) So I won't be telling anyone IRL! Shouldn't even be telling here, but I figured, what the heck. I totally realize that anything could happen. So I'll hope for the best, but prepare for anything...that's been my motto for a couple of years now.

Debbie

[barbarhow]

I didn't answer the poll because we told different people at different times. With Jack we told our parents and sibs and best friends immediately-like even before I missed my period. I didn't tell work until 17 weeks. Wanted to wait until after my annual review. Crazy, huh?
This time we waited. LOL. Didn't tell Family, sibs and best friends until 6 whole weeks had gone by. Still haven't told work. Another review due and an AH boss-IYKWIM. Will wait as long as possible-but that is likely not to be too much longer as my belly is getting bigger every day.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
expecting #2, a Yankee fan, around 5/9/05!

[jk3]

Congratulations! I'm hoping for the best for you. Wishing you a healthy nine months. =)

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[billysmommy]

I told the 4 people I work with the day I took the test and found out. We are all extremely close and if something should have happened, I would have wanted/needed their support.

We actually waited awhile longer to tell our families. We had an Oktoberfest party planned at our house the next month with all our family invited so we decied to tell them then so everyone would find out together. At the last minute MIL decided that her and FIL couldn't come down. DH told them over the phone to try to entice them down but she still didn't want to come. She never even asked to speak with me. FIL called back a few minutes later to congratulate me. (MIL still doesn't let us forget that we told her over the phone and everyone else found out in person - she seems to forget she was the reason it happened that way)

We thought up a fun way to tell my parents, our sibling and aunts/uncles and friends that came. I made sugar cookies in the shapes of bunnies, ducks, baby feet and baby carriages and frosted them in pink and blue. We set them out to the side so people would see them when they got there but not right away. No one seemed to notice so I mentioned that we had made cookies if anyone was interested and started to hand the plate around. My mom, dad and DH's sister said "ooh cookies, yum" then each took one and ate it. So then DH mentioned that we had a little puzzle for everyone to solve involving the cookies. Everyone looked at the plate of cookies and comments were made like "oh look at all the bunnies and ducks", "those feet look just like little baby feet", "everything is so cute frosted pink and blue". We were amazed no one had gotten it because everyone kept asking us when we were going to have a baby. So I finally said to my dad (a doctor, no less) (he had made the pink and blue comment) "the pink and blue is a clue" And he said "I like those colors together they look really good" So I repeated that the pink and blue was a clue and he said "Yeah I know, I already said they look nice together". So I then asked him what it usually meant when things were pink OR blue? He finally got it but still had to tell my mom. :)
Needless to say there has been lots of teasing about it over the past couple years. Especially because about an hour afterwards my uncle (dad's younger brother, kind of the "black sheep" of the family) came and I brought him the plate of cookies. He took one and said "Congratulations on the baby to be". We have never let anyone live this one down :)

[barbarhow]

What a fun story! I love that your uncle got it.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
expecting #2, a Yankee fan, around 5/9/05!

[trumansmom]

Sending super sticky vibes your way and keeping you in our prayers!

This is just the best, best news!! I couldn't be more thrilled for you. What an amazing roller coaster your life has been lately, huh?!

Take care of yourself, and keep us posted every step of the way.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04

[jubilee]

I waited a *whole* day after finding out. I wanted to wait a lot longer but I had found out on a Sunday, went to work the next day and my supervisor asked how was my weekend. Well, at that question I broke into sobs and shared that I was pregnant. I had a great supervisor and she was happy for me. I was stunned and a bit freaked out, but happy since we were planning to start trying later that year.

[rottiemom]

Telling US doesn't count!!! :) Now I'm so glad that I posted, I had waffled about sharing my story because it fell under the heading of TMI.

I am crossing eyes, fingers & toes for you. The exact same thing happened to my husband's mom. They had already adopted one & were in the process of adopting a 2nd when she found out she was pregnant. Needless to say my husband is one of 3.

I hope that this goes well for you & that the high risk part doesn't end up being too difficult for you. Many, many congratulations!

I have to chuckle at your talking to the OB-GYN while unknowingly pregnant. I remember having a conversation with my boss who was out on maternity leave. Her baby had terrible colic & pretty much screamed nonstop every day for three months. Boy was I relieved that I didn't have a child of my own! Little did I know...

Best of luck to you and thanks for sharing the big news. Your secret is safe with us.

Nina

[starrynight]

Good luck Debbie!

I didn't have much chance to wait to out myself, the first time my mom guessed because I was so tired, the second time she came to visit right as I was puking my guts out and the third time ds knew before the rest of us did and he told her! Other family and friends I waited at least 10 weeks.

[sidmand]

You all are very sweet. I am wavering about every minute from shock to scared to excited...I'm sure the hormones have something to do with it, but I've always been a pretty emotional person and this sure isn't going to help!

DH is in complete shock too. He said something to the effect of "how could this happen?" The way he was reacting, I was almost wondering if he thought it wasn't his! :)

Thanks for letting me share my news somewhere. I wish I wasn't such a blabbermouth. Julie's reaction seemed so much like me...if someone asked how my weekend was, that would be what was on my mind too.

It sure has been a heck of a couple of weeks.

Debbie

[kitmama]

I'd had a miscarriage previously, so we waited three months before telling anyone, just in case. I'm more comfortable handling that loss privately with DH, if it comes to that. We did tell some friends of ours the day we found out though- we were bursting to tell SOMEONE, and this couple had also suffered a miscarriage, and we had all supported each other in our losses. I knew if I had to "untell" anyone, they would understand. Plus, they can actually keep a secret!

It was so much fun when we finally decided to let the cat out of the bag. The only people we did a special surprise for were DH's parents. I printed a "Stork Work Order" with estimated date of delivery, etc. Then I bought a mylar ballon that said "Congratulations!!" with pink and blue baby hand and foot prints all over it, and tied the work order to the ribbon. I put it in a box, wrapped it up and we gave it to them to open so the balloon would come floating out. FIL understood instantly, MIL was quite confused, LOL! It was funny and really sweet.

[s7714]

With our first pregnancy, we told everyone on Christmas day. I was hesitant to tell so soon (at about 6 1/2 weeks), but DH was soooo excited he probably would have blabbed it out anyway. We gave MIL a "Grandma" shirt as a present to make the announcement, and as soon as she opened it, she started crying and screaming "OMG!!!" But, as fate would have it, a few days later at the first OB/GYN apt. we learned the PG wasn't viable, so then we had to go back and tell everyone things didn't work out. I think it was more upsetting have to take away the joy of that holiday season from everyone with the bad news than it was actually having a MC to be honest.

The second (and successful) time around, we waited until after we had seen the heartbeat on the 8 week OB/GYN visit. We emailed off the U/S picture to all the parents, and waited to see who'd call us back first...

Jennifer
Mommy to Annalia 03/03/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif