Going back to work on Monday :( - need advice!

[ciaobella]

Well, the week has finally come (boo hoo) ... the last week of my maternity leave! I am still in denial, but when I do think about it, I get really stressed out.

I am trying to stay positive and I am looking for a little advice from you all on how to make the transition easier. What did you learn over time that has helped your daily routine? For example, I have NEVER in my life picked my clothes out the night before, but I am going to have to start doing that if I want to keep a schedule! That will really save time in the morning. I will also have my lunch made and Andrew's diaper bag and clothes ready to go ... but what else?

I am BF and will be pumping at work ... which I am also nervous about. I have been pumping to build a freezer stash, but I have never had to pump without my DS around. I just hope that my milk flows as freely at work! I am also stressed about how much milk to send to daycare - I think I am going to send extra at first until we have a more established routine. I am also hoping to see him at lunch to nurse ... it will be the highlight of my day! Any tips on pumping and working full time would also be appreciated!

Anyhow - I have really loved reading thse boards and being a part of this community (even though I lurk more than I post). I am hoping that some of the more experienced moms can give me some guidance.


TIA!

Anne

[McQ]

Scoot on over on the couch because I'm going back on Tuesday so I'm right there with you. But to make things easier on me, I'm going back part time until after Thanksgiving. Easing into it if you will.

Having lunch made and a diaper bag packed is key. I can't think of anything else right now.

Pumping at work: I always had a sweater handy because I got cold sitting there with the ladies exposed. I also kept pictures of Declan in my bag so I could see what I was doing this all for. This time I'm going to get a second set of parts so I don't have to wash them in the office. That was time consuming and they never dried all the way.

Good luck!

Allison
~ mama to Declan 3.24.03 and Meghan 8.26.04

[ethansmom]

{{{{Hugs}}}} It may be a very difficult day, but you will get through it. My cousin told me she cried on her first day back. I thought that wouldn't be me, but I shocked the Director when I burst into tears after she asked how my son was. I was so glad my cousin had told me that because I didn't feel stupid crying...Just to clarify, the Director was great and understanding, just shocked that "I" would have a hard time returning to work.

I kept pictures of my DS on my desk and looked at them when I pumped. Just think of your DC and I bet the milk will flow. ;-)

Not sure what pump you have, but make sure you are replacing any valves etc when needed. I had no idea these needed to be replaced until I read something on these boards, and boy, did it make a difference in output!

BTW, I used Medela's steralizer wipes so I wouldn't need to worry about washing my parts after each pumping session.

Good luck!

[sadie427]

Having everything ready the night before really helps--down to underwear and socks even, especially if you and DS will be alone in the house in the morning. My daycare asked for a full day's supply of EBM for their freezer in case he was extra hungry one day, that made me feel better, you might see if thats an option.

[hez]

This is going to sound really nerdy, but I actually scheduled out my morning to the nearest 5 minutes to be sure I was getting up on time. When I got the routine down better, I figured out I could get up later, and boy was that nice :)

DH helps us get ready now, which is even nicer. He dresses DS while I'm in the shower, and then makes sure DS's milk and lunch/snack food are all packed and ready to go when I get downstairs. That's really helpful-- all I have to do is grab DS and his bags and go.

Be prepared to possibly let down whenever anyone asks you about DS. I was very glad I wore breast pads my first days back.

As far as pumping and working-- The best tip I picked up along the way was that you can't focus on work and on pumping at the same time. Find something else you can do (a magazine, a book, a TV, the internet, whatever) while you pump that takes your mind off work and lets you relax. The more you can relax, the better your output, IME, which then relaxes you even further :)

It can be hard the first day (week). Any of your coworkers who are moms will understand, and the vast majority will probably offer you that knowing look and a shoulder. I didn't hesitate to use the other moms around the office as resources, and I've built some pretty great relationships that I treasure as a result.

Wishing you a good first day back!!!

[Puddy73]

Hugs to you! The first week back is tough. I did a "practice run" the week before I went to work to see how much time it would actually take to get myself and DD ready. Having everything ready the night before definitely helps.

I think pumping helped ease the transition from being at home to work - it allowed me to focus on DD for a few minutes and I felt like I was doing something good for her even though I wasn't with her. It may take a few days, or even weeks, for you to get comfortable pumping at work, so don't be discouraged if you have a bad day. As one of the PP's suggested, it may help to look at a picture of your DS while you pump. Deep breathing always helped me with letdown. I have a small fridge in my office, so I just put all the pump parts in the fridge between sessions. If this is an option for you, it is a great timesaver.

You might want to do a search in the feeding forum for more tips on pumping - it is a common topic.

Good luck!

Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle Mae 9/8/03

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

[ciaobella]

Thank you all for the warm thoughts and helpful hints. I am really in disbelief ... I looked at Andrew tonight and I wanted to cry just thinking about leaving him. I just can't believe that he is really almost 3 months old - the time has passed so quickly!

In reality, I think it will be ok once I get over the initial shock ... I am just used to spending all of my time with him! I am a very routine oriented person, so I know I just need to re-establish a routine and that will be half the battle!

I am definetely going to ask about keeping extra EBM in a freezer - that would ease my mind quite a bit.

Thanks so much for your support.

Anne

[sdjeppa]

It IS hard - I cried for weeks before going back to work. If you can see him at lunch, that helps me so much - it is still the highlight of my day :). I didn't pump, so I can't help you there, but I did nurse him at lunch. His daycare center was great that I could call them to see if he was awake, and if they knew when I was coming, they wouldn't feed him right before, so he would eat.

For me, the THOUGHT of leaving him was almost harder than doing it. And once you are in a routine, its easier. But I still have my (many) days when I would rather stay home with him than be at work.

Jenny, Mommy to Zachary 9-27-03

[californiamom]

Anne,

(((((Hugs))))
I can totally relate. I was feeling the same way 6 months ago when I had to face reality and come back to work. What I can tell you is "hang in there", it does get a bit better...

The week before I returned to work I made a collage of B&W pictures of DD to bring to my office. It was a good way to prepare mentally for my return and also I just stare at her pictures during the day when I miss her terribly. Here's what it looks like:

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/15283.jpg

DH and I share a lot of the responsibilities, which is great. He washes the bottles every night and prepares them for next day. I take care of my pump and pump parts.

Something else that we did that worked really well for us was DH was the one to drop her off, and I was in charge of picking her up (the most fun part of the day!) :-) Psychologically it was the best thing I could have done to ease coming back to work. In my mind I was leaving her AT HOME with DH, not in daycare. ;-) Also, DH goes to work a bit later (around 9:30) and I go earlier and leave earlier (8:00 - 4:00) so this way she also stays in daycare the minimum amount of hours possible.

I don't know what yours and your DH's schedules look like but if this is at all possible I would DEFINITELY advise you to do the same. My boss returned from her maternity leave 4 weeks before I did and she was dropping her DD off in daycare every morning and would burst into tears every day... Not fun.

At that time I was taking four 4 oz. bottles of EBM to daycare with DD and it was enough for her but I agree with you -- take extras ones for the first week or so just to be sure.

I was pumping 2x at work (at 10:30 and at 3:30) and I would look at her pictures (or read the messages here!) while pumping. I would get about 20 oz. every day. Sometimes I would pump once during lunch time as well, if I felt uncomfortable. I also pumped in the morning before leaving the house to go to work, and in the evening before going to bed so I had more than enough for her to take to daycare AND to freeze extra bags.

To be honest, sometimes I wish I had more time to spend with DD at home (and we're working towards me stopping when we have baby #2) but there are great things about being a working mom. I know it is hard for you to believe it now -- I wouldn't either 6 months ago! -- but hang in there... :-)

Feel free to PM me if you want to vent or just chat! :-)

Ana

[californiamom]

Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention that helped me: I enrolled DD in daycare starting the week before I returned to work. During that week I would go in with her and stay there, just to watch her, the caregivers and the other kids for a couple of hours and see how they handled her and the other babies. The last two days I left her there and went out to grab lunch... That helped build my confidence that she would be OK...

HTH.
Ana

[ciaobella]

I just wanted to thank you all for your support. I know it is going to be very hard for me to get back into the swing of things, but I keep telling myself it will get easier!

We went to the daycare yesterday to hang out for a bit and to see the other children interacting together. Honestly, the children seemed happy - which made me feel a lot better.

I think I am going to make it a priority to go see Andrew at lunch to nurse so he can have some Mommy time during the day and I can have some Andrew time!

On the weekends we will stick to nursing only to keep my supply up and to continue that special bond.

Thanks again ... I will let you know how it goes!

I already feel sick to my stomach!