preparing for a c-section, how can I bond with baby right away?

[cdlamis]

Just in case this pregnancy also ends in a c-section, I want to be able to bond right away with the baby. I had some bonding issues with Julia and I feel like it had a lot to do with the first 4 hours after I gave birth. I did not get to BF right away or hold her since she was in the NICU for a while. I also requested medication to "calm me down" which was a big mistake. It made me very emotionless during the whole ordeal.

Anyway, I want an ideal c-section experience this time. Considering that all is alright with the baby this time, can I ask to hold her right away? Can I BF on the surgery table or do I have to wait to be in recovery? Can the baby be with me the whole time- while I am still being stiched up, etc? I really don't want to lose any preciuos bonding time this time.

What else should I request that the OB may not offer? Any suggestions? I read a lot in Dr. Sears book about what to do/not to do after a vaginal birth but what applies to a C/S birth?

Thanks so much! With only 6 weeks to go (if I have a C/S) I really want to be prepared.

Daniella
Mom to Julia 6-13-02
And another little girl EDD 12-30-04!!

[cdlamis]

Just in case this pregnancy also ends in a c-section, I want to be able to bond right away with the baby. I had some bonding issues with Julia and I feel like it had a lot to do with the first 4 hours after I gave birth. I did not get to BF right away or hold her since she was in the NICU for a while. I also requested medication to "calm me down" which was a big mistake. It made me very emotionless during the whole ordeal.

Anyway, I want an ideal c-section experience this time. Considering that all is alright with the baby this time, can I ask to hold her right away? Can I BF on the surgery table or do I have to wait to be in recovery? Can the baby be with me the whole time- while I am still being stiched up, etc? I really don't want to lose any preciuos bonding time this time.

What else should I request that the OB may not offer? Any suggestions? I read a lot in Dr. Sears book about what to do/not to do after a vaginal birth but what applies to a C/S birth?

Thanks so much! With only 6 weeks to go (if I have a C/S) I really want to be prepared.

Daniella
Mom to Julia 6-13-02
And another little girl EDD 12-30-04!!

[dowlinal]

Daniella,
First of all, talk to your hospital and find out the rules. Then, once you know the rules, make sure that you and DH insist that they are followed.

Where I gave birth, they are supposed to let you have the baby in the recovery room for a little while as long as your baby is ok. You were not allowed to hold the baby in the OR. From other moms I've spoken too I think the no holding in the OR rule is standard but hospital policy afterwards varies alot. Even though I couldn't hold her, the whole time they were stitching me my husband was holding her up next to my face. So I was able to kiss her and see her, just not hold her.

Afterward the nurse took Madeline to the nursery and would not bring her back so I did not get to hold her/nurse until almost 3 pm (after a 7 am c-section.) I had told her that I wanted to the baby in recovery but she apparantly "forgot" and in all of the excitement at the birth we didn't realize that they were taking her someplace else. I have since learned that this happens a lot so you need to be really vigilant about it.

One idea for bonding that I think really helped me. We had a digital camera and a video camera with us and DH kept going down to the nursery and shooting Madeline for like 10 minutes and then he would come back to me and play the video. So I felt like I was there with her.

Good Luck!!

[dowlinal]

Daniella,
First of all, talk to your hospital and find out the rules. Then, once you know the rules, make sure that you and DH insist that they are followed.

Where I gave birth, they are supposed to let you have the baby in the recovery room for a little while as long as your baby is ok. You were not allowed to hold the baby in the OR. From other moms I've spoken too I think the no holding in the OR rule is standard but hospital policy afterwards varies alot. Even though I couldn't hold her, the whole time they were stitching me my husband was holding her up next to my face. So I was able to kiss her and see her, just not hold her.

Afterward the nurse took Madeline to the nursery and would not bring her back so I did not get to hold her/nurse until almost 3 pm (after a 7 am c-section.) I had told her that I wanted to the baby in recovery but she apparantly "forgot" and in all of the excitement at the birth we didn't realize that they were taking her someplace else. I have since learned that this happens a lot so you need to be really vigilant about it.

One idea for bonding that I think really helped me. We had a digital camera and a video camera with us and DH kept going down to the nursery and shooting Madeline for like 10 minutes and then he would come back to me and play the video. So I felt like I was there with her.

Good Luck!!

[Jeanne]

Daniella,
I think a lot of these things depend on your Hospital's policy and procedure. But I know that I wasn't in any shape to hold my second while being stitched up. I doubt they would have even allowed that. I just don't remember it to even be feasible. My arms were at my side beneath the drape. Also, there were so many surprise sections on the schedule that day that once the baby was out, she was getting scored, prodded, poked, and examined while they were closing me. Once I landed in recovery, I was there for two hours with really bad shakes. I could in no way hold Claire. My hospital also starts a morphine drip as soon as feasible and I can tell you that it didn't kick in soon enough. I was in a ton of pain so again, couldn't even focus to hold her.

My DH never left her side and met me up in Maternity once I was moved from recovery. Once I was in my room, he brought her down. I didn't get to hold her for those first two hours but did hold and nurse her once I got to my room. But once the morphine kicked in, I wasn't in any shape to hold her again. The good news is that morphine drips are routinely only left for about a 12 hour max. And not every hospital uses morphine. I was still dopey the next day but able to bond as normal. However, I was not allowed to have her in my room unsupervised for 36 hours because of the morphine. That meant that when I sent DH home to sleep that first night, Claire went to the nursery. But the truth is, I needed to sleep and get past the worst pain (morphine pump was dead for three hours so I had nothing in my system)!

Not sure if others have had a better experience, but from what I understand from many women that I know who have had sections, those first two hours - provided that everything is fine with you and the baby, are spent away from one another just because of the surgical procedure and logistics involved.

Wishing you wonderful delivery vibes!

[Jeanne]

Daniella,
I think a lot of these things depend on your Hospital's policy and procedure. But I know that I wasn't in any shape to hold my second while being stitched up. I doubt they would have even allowed that. I just don't remember it to even be feasible. My arms were at my side beneath the drape. Also, there were so many surprise sections on the schedule that day that once the baby was out, she was getting scored, prodded, poked, and examined while they were closing me. Once I landed in recovery, I was there for two hours with really bad shakes. I could in no way hold Claire. My hospital also starts a morphine drip as soon as feasible and I can tell you that it didn't kick in soon enough. I was in a ton of pain so again, couldn't even focus to hold her.

My DH never left her side and met me up in Maternity once I was moved from recovery. Once I was in my room, he brought her down. I didn't get to hold her for those first two hours but did hold and nurse her once I got to my room. But once the morphine kicked in, I wasn't in any shape to hold her again. The good news is that morphine drips are routinely only left for about a 12 hour max. And not every hospital uses morphine. I was still dopey the next day but able to bond as normal. However, I was not allowed to have her in my room unsupervised for 36 hours because of the morphine. That meant that when I sent DH home to sleep that first night, Claire went to the nursery. But the truth is, I needed to sleep and get past the worst pain (morphine pump was dead for three hours so I had nothing in my system)!

Not sure if others have had a better experience, but from what I understand from many women that I know who have had sections, those first two hours - provided that everything is fine with you and the baby, are spent away from one another just because of the surgical procedure and logistics involved.

Wishing you wonderful delivery vibes!

[Saartje]

I have NO experience for the hospital part of C-section recovery/bonding, but make sure your DH understands you'll need plenty of time just to be with the baby when you get home -- time when he'll need to take care of things around the house and Julia, not just because you're still recovering, but because you need that time to strengthen the bond between you and the new baby.

[Saartje]

I have NO experience for the hospital part of C-section recovery/bonding, but make sure your DH understands you'll need plenty of time just to be with the baby when you get home -- time when he'll need to take care of things around the house and Julia, not just because you're still recovering, but because you need that time to strengthen the bond between you and the new baby.

[suribear]

Daniella,
I had a c/s with #1. awful experience and I was separated from her for five hours initially, for no reason other than miscommunication and shortstaffing. I only saw her for a moment before she was whisked away (she was fine, btw - no health issues) and she was given supplements against my wishes. we did have a heck of a time establishing nursing, and I was drugged out to the hilt.

I tried for a vbac but ended up having another (scheduled) c/s. This time I had a birth plan and a doula, and this was definitely a better experience, though I won't sugarcoat it - the post-op pain is no fun.

I also worked with midwives. They were my angels :) In my birth plan I specified that I wanted to see the baby ASAP, and I got to see him after they pulled him out. They did do some clean-up, but I got to hold him for a little while fairly soon thereafter. After my first experience, this is a moment I will always cherish. I STILL think about it and get goosebumps :)

They then took him away for a little while (standard procedure) but my doula and midwives got him back asap to nurse (also in my birth plan). They helped with the postitioning, etc... He latched on relatively easily.

Anyway, you CAN have a good bonding experience with a c/s, but it takes some work and preparation. Let your provider/s know your wishes via a birth plan - make sure you go over it with them.

Actually, here are some excerpts from my birth plan (I left out the labor stuff):
In the event of a Cesarean
I would like my husband and doula present at all times.
If my baby is not in distress, I would like to hold him right after delivery and avoid any unnecessary separation.

After delivery
I would like to have my baby examined in my presence.
I do not wish my baby to receive any antibiotic eye ointment or the hepatitis B vaccine.

Breastfeeding
I do not wish to have any supplements given to my baby (including glucose water or plain water) unless there is a medical necessity, and with my permission.
I do not want my baby to be given a pacifier.

HTH

ETA: We also had full rooming in, and I wouldn't have it any other way. DS was pain medicine for me - I was so happy to have him nearby :)
HOWEVER, this time dh stayed with me the whole time, or my doula. The first time I couldn't have any overnight help and they were very strict about the hours. It was like maternity boot camp!! With #2 I made sure I had help the whole time, except one time dh went to the restroom and the baby was gagging (fluid from the lungs - poor thing had a heck of a time with that the first few days) and I tried really hard, but I couldn't get to him fast enough, due to the post-op pain and my stitches. Dh didn't hear me call for him, so I did eventually try to pick him up. That was definitely the worst experience this time around, but it's hard to have someone around ALL the time! I needed a lot of help with changing positions to nurse and going to the bathroom initially, which is why I switched health plans/hospitals to make sure I could have someone with me!

Kris

[suribear]

Daniella,
I had a c/s with #1. awful experience and I was separated from her for five hours initially, for no reason other than miscommunication and shortstaffing. I only saw her for a moment before she was whisked away (she was fine, btw - no health issues) and she was given supplements against my wishes. we did have a heck of a time establishing nursing, and I was drugged out to the hilt.

I tried for a vbac but ended up having another (scheduled) c/s. This time I had a birth plan and a doula, and this was definitely a better experience, though I won't sugarcoat it - the post-op pain is no fun.

I also worked with midwives. They were my angels :) In my birth plan I specified that I wanted to see the baby ASAP, and I got to see him after they pulled him out. They did do some clean-up, but I got to hold him for a little while fairly soon thereafter. After my first experience, this is a moment I will always cherish. I STILL think about it and get goosebumps :)

They then took him away for a little while (standard procedure) but my doula and midwives got him back asap to nurse (also in my birth plan). They helped with the postitioning, etc... He latched on relatively easily.

Anyway, you CAN have a good bonding experience with a c/s, but it takes some work and preparation. Let your provider/s know your wishes via a birth plan - make sure you go over it with them.

Actually, here are some excerpts from my birth plan (I left out the labor stuff):
In the event of a Cesarean
I would like my husband and doula present at all times.
If my baby is not in distress, I would like to hold him right after delivery and avoid any unnecessary separation.

After delivery
I would like to have my baby examined in my presence.
I do not wish my baby to receive any antibiotic eye ointment or the hepatitis B vaccine.

Breastfeeding
I do not wish to have any supplements given to my baby (including glucose water or plain water) unless there is a medical necessity, and with my permission.
I do not want my baby to be given a pacifier.

HTH

ETA: We also had full rooming in, and I wouldn't have it any other way. DS was pain medicine for me - I was so happy to have him nearby :)
HOWEVER, this time dh stayed with me the whole time, or my doula. The first time I couldn't have any overnight help and they were very strict about the hours. It was like maternity boot camp!! With #2 I made sure I had help the whole time, except one time dh went to the restroom and the baby was gagging (fluid from the lungs - poor thing had a heck of a time with that the first few days) and I tried really hard, but I couldn't get to him fast enough, due to the post-op pain and my stitches. Dh didn't hear me call for him, so I did eventually try to pick him up. That was definitely the worst experience this time around, but it's hard to have someone around ALL the time! I needed a lot of help with changing positions to nurse and going to the bathroom initially, which is why I switched health plans/hospitals to make sure I could have someone with me!

Kris

[ellies mom]

Where we had DD, rooming in is the norm. Since DH spent the nights with me I was able to keep DD with me just about the whole time even though I had a scheduled C-section. DH held DD near me the whole time they were stiching me up. We also got to keep her with me in the recovery room which is where we started trying to nurse. They took DD to the nursery for all the check up type things while they were getting me settled in the post-partum room. DH was with her everytime they took her to the nursery for the wieghing type stuff. The reason we got to keep her in the recovery room was that the nursery was busy. If the baby is fine, I don't see why they wouldn't let you if you requested it.

A warning though, don't expect nursing to go smoothly in the recovery room. Remember you can't move from the chest down. You don't realize until you try but it is pretty hard to get your body and the baby all set up. Give it a try but just focus on enjoying your baby.

I think I had a pretty good c-section experience, but I had a few weeks to get myself ready for it.

[ellies mom]

Where we had DD, rooming in is the norm. Since DH spent the nights with me I was able to keep DD with me just about the whole time even though I had a scheduled C-section. DH held DD near me the whole time they were stiching me up. We also got to keep her with me in the recovery room which is where we started trying to nurse. They took DD to the nursery for all the check up type things while they were getting me settled in the post-partum room. DH was with her everytime they took her to the nursery for the wieghing type stuff. The reason we got to keep her in the recovery room was that the nursery was busy. If the baby is fine, I don't see why they wouldn't let you if you requested it.

A warning though, don't expect nursing to go smoothly in the recovery room. Remember you can't move from the chest down. You don't realize until you try but it is pretty hard to get your body and the baby all set up. Give it a try but just focus on enjoying your baby.

I think I had a pretty good c-section experience, but I had a few weeks to get myself ready for it.

[muskiesusan]

It really depends on your hospital. With both my c/s, neither scheduled, I was shown the babies after delivery and they were cleaned while they stiched me up. This was all done in my view with dh standing next to the nurses. I was then handed the baby to hold on the trip back to my room (my hospital doesn't have a separate recovery room). I was bfing both of the boys within 30 minutes of their birth and they never left my room the entire stay.

I would talk to your dr to find out what is standard at your hospital. If you don't like something, ask the dr what can be done to help you out-I have discovered that if the dr leaves specific orders for your care, the staff tends to follow those directions despite what might be the norm.


Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01/01
& Alex 04/27/04

[Marisa6826]

As soon as Sophie was born, they took her over to the little warming tray, weighed her, etc. Jonathan took pics on the digital camera and brought them over to me. That was the way I first saw her, since the tray was behind me and I couldn't see anything.

They wrapped her up and put her on my chest while they were sewing this Humpty Dumpty back together ;). I don't think that you will be able to breastfeed if for no other reason than you can't sit up, and that drape will be over your shoulders.

Then they took her to get her first bath. Jonathan went with her, I took a little nap and the next thing I knew, I was in recovery. They won't let you leave recovery till you can move your feet. He brought me more pics though.

Once I was in my room, they brought her in about a half hour later and she was ours to keep! I think all tolled, it was maybe 2-3 hours from start to finish.

One thing I specifically asked my OB was that they not put the silver nitrate salve in her eyes until after I saw her. I wanted to make sure she could see me without that goo in her way.

The other thing I made glaringly clear to the OB was that they weren't allowed to put in my foley catheter until the epidural was in. :P

-m

[amp]

I don't know anything about preparing for it or how to accomplish that, but I will tell you that I made it very clear that I wanted to hold my baby as soon as possible and start trying to BF. There were no complications. DS was first shown to me, but I couldn't touch him. They cleaned him up, so I was watching, and DH got to touch him, talk to him up close. They did the stuff they need to do and weighed him and then they wrapped him up and brought him to John and me. I didn't get to hold him until they finished closing me back up, but that was maybe only 15 min. They handed him to me and he never left our sight again! So, for us, bonding started happening RIGHT away, although we didn't hold him for a few minutes.

[egoldber]

It will depend on your hospital's policies and how you feel. I had some very minor complications following the C-section, but it took almsot an hour for them to finish closing me up. I was also very woozy from the epidural (I had been in and out of consciousness during the surgery). So there was no way for me to hold her in the operating room or breastfeed her.

In recovery, I got to hold her (and she stayed with me from then on). But I was so weak and woozy, I didn't feel comfortable trying to breastfeed her until a couple hours later when most of the epidural had worn off.

I totally recommend the video camera route. My DH had our video camera and he taped all the stuff I would have otherwise missed. The operation, the weighing and apgar score stuff, etc. I got to watch all that in recovery while we were waiting for me room to be ready so that was nice. He also taped me and Sarah together for the first time in recovery and that still tears me up every time I watch it.

[hez]

Like others, our hospital gave DS to me after I was stiched up to carry in my arms to the recovery room while they wheeled me down the hall. I asked the nurse to help me latch DS on while down there. In retrospect, while that was a great idea overall, I was slightly out of it (got a 15 minute 'trip' during the surgery) so I'm sure we were doing it (BF'ing) wrong! The nurse seemed really surprised that I was asking already. I know I got her up from her exciting magazine article, so maybe that was the problem ;)

I think we bonded quickly-- DS roomed in for the most part, and the only part I didn't enjoy was that I couldn't get up to get him when he was crying-- DH had to do all that for me. In fact, DH can still out-swaddle me in a heartbeat! If we *had* to do another C/S I would hopefully not need to be put on another 'trip'-- that's all I would change in that circumstance.

[pritchettzoo]

I can only tell you my experiences, but I think things went pretty smoothly for us. We had a failed induction and knew we were going to do the c/s about 15 minutes before it happened, so there was time to think about it and call people but not time to THINK about it, KWIM? Anyway, I got the epidural and was taken into surgery. Gracie was born. They brought her over for me and DH to see, I got to kiss her and look at her for a couple of seconds, and then they took her away to be checked. DH followed her and they closed me up, which took longer than normal due to some complications, but I was out of the operating room in 45 mins or so after DD was born. While they were closing me, DD was being weighed and measured and APGARed and de-gooed ;) and DH took a video of everything I missed. That was very neat to see. I was wheeled into the room with DD and able to hold her immediately and try to start nursing immediately. I didn't let her go after that!

I can't imagine them letting you BF in the operating room. For one thing, your boobs will be covered by the gown and the curtain, and it would interrupt the sterile operating field.

Ask your OB what to expect at your next appointment. Good luck!

Anna

[calebsmama03]

Daniella,
No experience with c/s here, but wanted to wish you luck in having an experience you will be happy with (that sounds funny re-reading it, but I think you know what the sentiment is ;) )

Kris, I too was going to recommend a doula. Mine also did c/s births and I had similar things written into my birth plan for emergency c/s re: doula being present, someone (DH or doula) always being with DS, etc. I think I may copy some of yours for this time :) Good for you for putting the "no eye ointment" in there! I never understood why a c/s baby would get that. After all, it's done to prevent gonnhea (sp?) infection in baby's eyes, which would be transmitted through vaginal secretions. If your water isn't broken, baby wouldn't come into contact with it.
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
Oh my!! #2 5/05

[psophia17]

When DS was born, it was hospital policy for the father/coach to stay with the baby while the mother was sewn up and brought to the recovery room (they were in transition and the L&D was on a different floor than the maternity ward).

I had a spinal block that didn't wear off for HOURS, and so I stayed in recovery for a lot longer than usual. DS was born at 9:51am and I didn't get to hold him until close to 4pm, after they brought me to my room, got me settled, and DH came back from home, where he was calling all the relatives (conveniently, we lived across the street from the hospital, so that was really easy).

I think the best thing that we did as far as bonding goes was that DS was to be BF on demand with no supplements or pacifiers. So at 1am, when I was all alone in my room (rooming in was not allowed due to construction and cramped space), they would bring me a crying DS and I would BF and hold him and sing and everything else. Since I couldn't stand up or do anything because of the surgery, I had to deal with moving DS around and getting comfortable with him, and he had to get used to me. It was pretty great. By morning, when DH came back to the hospital, I felt very empowered and knowledgeable about my baby already, and that helped to make me feel really close to him.

HTH, and I hope you have a great experience! :-)

[tarahsolazy]

Make sure you discuss it with your OB, and find out hospital policies. And, if they are dumb, question them ahead of time!

I had a failed induction, and a C/S. I delivered in the hospital I worked in, but I don't think my treatment was different than others. My doctor pulled Forrest out, and immediately showed him to us over the drape. My mentor neonatologist was there, and he dried him off, and they quickly weighed hiim, because my neo buddy Joe kept saying, this kid is HUGE, he's gotta be 4kg. 4350 g, to be exact! He was wrapped up and handed to DH, who held him up by my face while they sewed me up. I BF him in recovery, but needed help with positioning, because I was a little shaky. I held him while they took us to our room. Then, while the nurses settled me, DS and DH went for his bath.

These multi hour separations for healthy babies people talk about are ridiculous in this day and age. (Not the parents, the doctors and nurses are being unreasonable)

My most treasured pictures, though, are the ones taken of him being pulled out, and immediately after. My twin sister was there, and caught it all!