Is it okay to be graphic?

[psophia17]

A woman I used to work with just had a baby, and she had her assistant, who is a friend of mine, email around some baby pictures.

Several of them are pictures of her baby crowning, the head's out, the torso, and then there's a really great shot of her feminine parts immediately after her son came out (umbilical cord was in the picture, baby wasn't - just a shot of a big, floppy vulva with a bloody rope going in).

I'm not grossed out by the nature of the pictures, but feel that this was TOTALLY inappropriate for the general populace (read, all the people at work, more than 60 co-workers, many of whom hardly know this woman).

ETA: I'm not bothered by most of the pictures, and had several taken of me while I was BFing DS in the hospital, but just don't get how anyone would want the vulva picture out there...

What do you think?

[cdlamis]

I think it would be ok if she brought them to the office but showed them in person-and warning people that they may be graphic (bloody or of certain body parts).

But I would not e-mail them around to everyone. While I personally am ok with seeing someone's parts in this case and I don't get squeamish with blood, I can't speak for everyone and would have been more discreet.

Just my opinion~

Daniella
Mom to Julia 6-13-02
And another little girl EDD 12-30-04!!

[deborah_r]

Wow! That's a little much for a "bulk" email, I think! Maybe just to my closest friends, if I had such pictures, which I don't. I was a little wary of sending Kai's first picture, naked on the scale, to too many people.

I would be pretty shocked to receive such pictures in an email!

[kijip]

I frankly did not feel that my delivery was a Kodak moment and would prefer not to see a random co-worker's birthing experience.

I received a Christmas card last year with an in detail account of a woman's labor complications complete with gross photo. We barely know these folks.

[westchicagomom]

You definitely lose a lot of your modesty once you go through labor in front of people you have never met before, but that is pretty unbelievable.

What happened to just showing a picture of the baby and mom/dad?

[jubilee]

With all the sick, twisted people in this world, I'd never show any pics like that and I'd never pass another person's pics along either. I wonder what this woman will think (or what others will think of her) when she comes back to work?

[TahliasMom]

No Kodak moments here either. We took head up shots, no video, no spectators. Just DH and I. I lost all my sense of dignity during labor: it was awful, long, complicated and excruciating, and I rather not remember it, let alone share it with my co-workers.
GROSS>>>

Katherine

[starrynight]

I have a strong feeling the new mom doesn't know which pics were passed along. I would be extremely ticked and embarassed if someone shared a pic like that of me with anyone I worked with. I refused to take pics like that because I didn't want them getting passed around. Head shots and baby shots that's it!

[Melanie]

That's what I was thinking...perhaps she doesn't know. Sent private ones to a close friend who does not have one of those mental filters about what is or is not okay to pass on. LOL.

[papal]

That is what I was thinking too.. poor thing.. she is going to come back to work and wonder why everyone is staring at her.
But yes, I would be grossed out if I got pics like that.. even if it was my sister!!! We did not take pics till the baby was out and about. :)

[JLiebCamm]

I think it's totally innappropriate! I had similar pics taken and put a sticker over my private parts just to show them to close friends and family. I know the birth process is natural and non-sexual in any way, but some things should be kept sacred!

[jojo2324]

I wondered the same thing as Melanie and Rashmi. When DD was born, DH sent some pics to friends from our digital camera. Nothing as telling as what you've described, but I still didn't see them first. (I don't think my DH would have been conscious long enough to take pics of my feminine parts in that state. He's a bit squeamish.)

Or, maybe she did want to have them shared. I guess if she's comfortable with it. But I wouldn't want pics like that of me floating around the internet.

[candybomiller]

In my opinion, it's really inappropriate to email such private pictures. I would have no problem with a picture of the baby, but I think there was a line crossed when vuvla pics went out. JMO.

[psophia17]

The new mom knows - the assistant, who thought that they weren't appropriate to pass along, either, forwarded the entire email with instructions from her boss. It clearly said, "please send these pictures around to the following list, so they can share in our birth experience."

[pritchettzoo]

Holy cats! Did she send out pictures of the conception too?

Non-sexual does not equal non-private. That's really inappropriate--people opening the email thinking they're going to get the generic parent(s) and baby pic or baby in an isolette pic and getting the graphic pics. Especially the one without even the baby in it. Damn! Do you think her assistant was trying to get her back for something?

Some people just have no sense of privacy. An acquaintance of mine from high school was hit by a car in college--very bad accident that she barely lived through. I ran into her mom at a Christmas party and her mom whips out this photo album and asks if I'd like to see pics of Farah. I say sure, and she flips open to Farah buck naked in the E.R., barely recognizeable for all the blood and tubes and whatnot. It went on from there to document pretty much every medical treatment and rehabilitation. Her name's not Farah, is it?

Anna

[psophia17]

Nope, not Farah.

No conception pics that I know of, either, but she was on a sabbatical when she got pg, so maybe some other lucky crowd of people got those pics. Her assistant is innocent of anything, she forwarded the exact email she got from her boss post-delivery (I posted about it above).

I didn't mind any of the pics with the baby in it - I can understand the excitement and watched enough deliveries on TV that I'd seen it all before, but the vulva pic was just over the top. It was a close-up, too...blegh!

[kristine_elen]

Totally inappropriate. I might pass out if I opened my email and found that. Did she send them to men, too? If a man emailed photos of his privates, I think that would be considered harassment.

[psophia17]

Yup - several men got the pictures, including the pres and vice pres of the company. I think she's friendly with the veep, but that doesn't make it right.

[JulieL]

are you in adverising?

[deborah_r]

OMG, Anna, you are killing me! Laughing so hard Kai came over and started laughing with me!

[psophia17]

Nope, publishing, although I have been in advertising in the past (as an intern). Why?

[starrynight]

Ok then if the mom knows that is a bit um over the top inappropriate kind of thing IMO. It's one thing to send the crowning pic if she really wanted to share the birth experience but just the vulva pic sans baby was a bit much and I wouldn't want to get that pic in my email from family, nevermind a co-worker.

[jbowman]

Petra--

That is really offensive--asking your assistant to mail out non-business related pictures, LOL!

Seriously, I don't think any of it is appropriate. JMHO.

[kelly ann]

I agree that this could be construed as harassment. Where I work now, all it takes is one person to report this to HR and the one sending it would most likely get fired. Unfortunately, in this case it would have been the assistant.

[mamicka]

I think it's totally inappropriate & actually, a little sick. I don't have a problem with taking the pictures & sharing with family & friends, even if those might also be people you work with... but to send it to all the people you work with? I guess I'm assuming that it was through work email. At my last employer, that would be reported as sexual harassement & I have no doubt someone would have been fired.

Share whatever pictures you want, but keep it out of the work environment.