Before you were a parent what did you say you would NEVER do?

[kijip]

That you now do?

I thought I would never have those big, plastic toys around. Yet I do.

I thought I would not need a stroller but I got a baby who is not always happy in a sling and who LOVES riding.

I also thought that I would not use formula but alas, I ended up needing to.

I thought I would never spend $25 on baby shoes. But I do!

[wilelm]

I said I wouldn't use formula either, but had to.

I said my child would never use a pacifier, but they gave her one in the hospital without asking me, and she loved it. Although she only wanted it until she was about 5 months old.

It's funny how you plan everything ahead of time, and it never turns out exactly like you think it will.


Sheila
Mother of Miriam, 03/10/03 and
Oliver, due 01/17/05

[McQ]

I've heard myself say "no running with <that>. you'll poke your eye out." D'oh!

Allison
~ mama to Declan 3.24.03 and Meghan 8.26.04

[marit]

I thought there is no way on earth I would nurse a toddler (1 year was my upper limit) and yet at 22 months we are still nursing happily. Of course, my DH reminds me of that every single day...

[candybomiller]

Oh you name it!

I'd never put my son in daycare.

I'd never make Matt drink formula.

We'd never use a kiddie leash. How cruel!

Then there's the stuff about me.

I'd never let myself go like some of the mothers I'd seen. HAH!


Actually being a mother was quite the rude awakening. :)

[bluej]

Buy my kids matching/coordinating outfits! With such a wide age range you would think I'd be able to avoid doing this! But no, I still manage to do this and gleefully so!

Drive a mini-van. Now it's my favorite vehicle and I may very well never part with it.

Wear 'mom' (or as my BIL calls them 'granny') shoes. Who was I kidding?

[MelissaTC]

I swore I would never...

breastfeed. DS nursed for 13 months.
drive a minivan.
wear a Hanes Her Way sweatshirt in public. Yes, I look like my Mom.
be a stay at home Mom.
feed my child things like chicken nuggets or fish sticks. He loves both.

[brubeck]

I swore I would never cut my hair short (I've manage to live up to this one).

I swore I would never use my own spit to clean my child's face. My Mom used to do this and I HATED it. I haven't yet, but it is sooo tempting at times! I can't believe how much I want to do this!

[egoldber]

Oh my, the list is long....

use formula
let my child watch more than an hour of TV a day
feed my child chicken nuggets for dinner
drive a minivan (LOVE my van, LOL!)
buy a toy in a store to keep them quiet (I've only done this a couple times in desperation)
my child would not throw tantrums (oh how naive I was)
not let a child interfere with my lifestyle (again with the naive thing....)

and undoubtedly countless other things I can't remember off the top of my head, LOL!

[laretce6]

Number one for me is use a pacifier, she loves that thing.

Also swore I wouldn't use a baby swing or other baby devices at least not very often. The aquarium take-along swing was one of our best purchases.

I have a longer list when you add in things I thought I would do and haven't.
I didn't swear not to use a crib, but I thought we would cosleep and love it. While DD sometimes ends up in our bed in the wee hours of the morning she's in her crib more often than not and so far we all sleep better that way.

I didn't swear not to use a stroller, but I thought I would use my slings a lot more than I do. haha maybe I just need to try a few more carriers. I have my eye on a maya wrap or a zolo ;)

Caroline
Mama to Eleanor Katherine 8.2.04

[californiagirl]

Oddly, I thought the whole sling thing looked too hard, I was sure I'd use a stroller. We didn't own a stroller until she was over 6 months and now have a jogging stroller so DH can take her running and I can sleep in, plus a cheap Graco I use mostly as a very portable high-chair/nap device.

I was also never going to nurse in public -- I mean, maybe in a friend's house or a quiet
restaurant corner, but not anywhere really public. Like, in the middle of a business meeting, in the control room for a Titan missile or any of the 4 million other places
I've ended up feeding her.

[Momof3Labs]

Swore I wouldn't use a pacifier. Colin is still addicted to the "plug" (bedtime and naptime only, though).

Swore I wouldn't nurse past a year. Colin self-weaned at 19 months.

Swore I wouldn't raise a picky eater. *snort* I have a toddler!

Swore I wouldn't cloth diaper. I love 'em!

Swore I would raise a flexible child. He's pretty good, but we are a lot more flexible than he is, lol.

[Elilly]

What a great post! Here are some off the top of my head:
Drive a minivan
Serve chicken nuggets
Work full-time
Have a not perfectly clean, picked-up house
Go to bed by 9:00 pm

If I'd only known then....

[kijip]

Ahh the kiddy leash...I can add that to my list! We used one in a crowded airport so Toby could walk like he wanted to but not get eaten a sea of legs.

[LucyG]

I didn't think I'd ever grab a bag of Goldfish crackers off the grocery shelf and open them to keep my child happy while I shopped. Along the same lines, I never thought I'd give her cookies on a regular basis. Yet the moment we walk into Kroger, she signs and says "cookie" before I can even get her in the cart! Off to the deli we go for a free sample . . . :-)

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
20 months and counting!

[octmom]

Swore I would *never* co-sleep. DS has been in our bed every night since sometime in June.

Jerilyn
DS, Sean 10/03

"Baby makes days shorter, nights longer, home happier, and love stronger."

[amp]

My "Never's" echo those of others....

Drive a minivan - so far so good, but I see it on the horizon!

The rest I've failed miserably at....

Let my child throw a tantrum, including in public
Buy or let kids carry stuff around in a store to keep him quiet
Let my kid play with what they want in a public place (store, hairdresser, etc to keep them quiet.
Use formula
Dress myself only in sweats, tees and althletic shoes!
Put my kid in hand-me-downs
Forget to put sunscreen on my kid

I'm sure there are so many others I will eat my words on. I've eaten crow more times than I can count since becoming a mom!

[lisaE]

I swore I would never:

Give DS a paci
Co-Sleep
Buy one of those grocery cart cover thingies

We do all of these now!

[tarahsolazy]

I would NEVER use sleep training methods of any kind! Constant BF and cosleeping would obviously work great. After 7 months of hourly, yes hourly wakings, during which he did NOT want to be nursed, and after crying himself to sleep in our arms for 30min each night, we did Ferber. After ONE night, during which he cried a total of 23 minutes, he sleeps all night, and falls asleep without crying.

Oh yeah, and I'd never nurse a toddler. If they can ask for it, they're too old! Now, I'm hoping we make it to TWO, and am actively trying to teach him to sign for milk!

[starrynight]

What I swore I would never do/buy:

a dvd player for the car (haha then I had Daria, miss let me scream and fight on long car rides)

a tv for any of my kids' rooms (we did buy one for ds's room to hook up the ps2 but I will never hook up cable to it)

I won't let my kids sleep with me (haha that one lasted 2-3 days with ds and all of them co-slept with me and the girls still often do)

I won't spoil them (done)

I would never consider not vaxing or alternative medicine (after various turns of events we are down that road now)

I would never lose my temper like my mother did (done :(, not often but done)

I would never let the house go (was I crazy when I said that one???)

[candybomiller]

Lol Andrea. I'm really glad that you're the one who listed putting kids in hand me downs! I SWORE I'd never put Matt into clothes that had been previously worn. *snort* What an snotty brat I was!

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Tristan was going to be a scheduled baby...I was convinced this was the way to go for my friend scheduled hers since before they popped out and I thought they were the best kids (can I whisper now that I realize it is because she told me they were so good...now that I have a child I am not convinced they are any better than anyones elses).

Tristan was not going to sleep with us...now I can't stand the thought of him sleeping anywhere else, honestly even a few months ago I was more ready for him to leave our bed then now. But now he takes everything in...and even last night when he woke at 5:00 I brought him out on the sofa and we we have a house full of windows in the back, the moon is always just perfect there looking in...he points "oooon" :)

I guess my list isn't too long...but I know others will pop in my head...

and of course "MY child" was never going throw tantrums in a store etc... I would gleefully whisk him up and go my merryway!!!! (yeah right)....

I must admit though many of the things I have stuck to pretty well...


Neve and Tristan born Feb 25, 2003
* EDD 3/19/05 IT'S A GIRL
* DOSSIER IN THE HANDS OF TRANSLATOR

http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan

[amp]

I know! I used to think...man there are so many cute clothes out there! Why would I ever want to use used ones!? Sheesh....'cause the new ones don't grow on trees!

[Judegirl]

Breastfeed.
Cloth diaper.
Spend a lot of money on baby clothes.
Pick her up the minute she starts crying. (But I have SOOO many good excuses for this! :))

We also swore she wouldn't be exposed to t.v. at all, but we can't figure out how to keep her eyes off of it when it's on, and we're not willing to give up Sunday football. She does have to contort herself pretty significantly in order to see it, though.

I swore I wouldn't cut my hair, but I find myself thinking about it lately.

Jude

[Judegirl]

and now do: What changed your mind? What appealed to you?

I ask because I'm still swearing I'll never drive one, and I want to know what to watch out for! :)

Thanks!
Jude

ETA: Should this be another thread? I never know which is more polite, to start a sub-topic or to ask everyone to start reading an entirely new thread! LOL

[icunurse]

I think that, for the most part, we are actually sticking to our plans (but maybe we also don't have too high of expectations :) ) I know I promised myself that I would read at least one book to DS every night (ummm, actually happens a few times a week). The one thing I can think of that is affecting us right now: I swore that I would never dress my child like any kind of animal or character (other than at Halloween). Well, he has the cutest little mouse hat for winter and I have an elf outfit with matching hat all ready for Christmas. What has happened to me?!
Traci
~Connor's Mom~
http://lilypie.com/baby1/050204/1/0/1/-6/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[papal]

Great thread.
Let's see:
I swore my kid would:
NEVER wear hand me downs.
NEVER watch TV (now when she is climbing INTO the dishwasher, Elmo or whoever the heck is on PBS distracts her).
NEVER eat french fries. She had some at Wendys yesterday, along with the chicken strips. Her first fried food. Yes, she loved it.

Oh Oh, the best one... yesterday, I mixed rice cereal in her sippy cup of cows milk. I swore I would never do that. hahaha. Desperate times leads to desperate housewives.

[smomom]

One of my mom's favorite expressions has always been, "you'll end up eating those words" so she made me very hesitant to say "I'll never...." when it came to raising kids.

That being said... I do still have a couple of "I'll nevers" for later in life....

I will never let my child play with toy weapons (don't blast me for this, but with all the other toys out there I don't think Sage will be deprived by never having a toy gun or sword.)

I will never lie to my kids. I don't think the little lies like "mommy's not drinking diet coke - that's just colored water" or "gee... sorry sweetie, there aren't any more cookies left" really count, but I do hope to be honest with my kids about the big things in life.

I've also said that I will never drive a minivan.... so far, so good with that one.

[aliceinwonderland]

I did not want to, but have done these things
--Supplement with formula (here I did not have much of a choice)
--secretly(as in, in my head) compare Erik with babies his age
--did not want to co-sleep, we still don't do this full time, but only when he is especially clingy I bring him to bed with me.
--give jarred baby food(for the most part I make my own, but he has has th occasional jar).

I do not feel too bad for any of the above. I think, considering my circumstances, I've stuck to most things I wanted or did not want to do pretty well.

[lisams]

My list could go on and on but these are the ones I can think of right now:

I thought I would never:

breastfeed past a year (I thought it was odd back then)
use jarred baby food (I was going to make every morsel that went into her mouth, didn't happen)
use disposable diapers (had good intentions...)
let toys take over my house
let DD watch more than 1 hour of tv
impulse spend on baby clothes
ever consider using one of those toddler "leashes", now I wish I had one, but I'm too paranoid about other's reactions!
give (bribe!) DD food in the carseat/stroller to keep her content

I know there's more. I will say that being a parent has made me WAY less judgemental.

Lisa

[Marisa6826]

Lick my finger and clean Sophie's face!!! I HATED it when my Mother did that to us growing up.

And damn if I didn't catch myself doing it a couple weeks ago. D'oh!!! ;)


But I will NEVER EVER drive a minivan. I will be pulled by a team of donkeys on a wagon down the NJ Turnpike before that happens!!

-m

[aliceinwonderland]

LOL, Marisa --I echo the minivan sentiment.

[bluej]

The space! As soon as you need to fit in two carseats, a stroller, enough luggage for 4 people for an extended weekend away, etc you will understand the need/desire/love of the mini-van! And did you know that you can fit all of that AND an antique armoire that you fall in love with when you are on vacation into a mini-van? The shopping possibilities are endless as long as you have the space and a creative packer!

[crayonblue]

Give my baby chocolate. Lauren had a few bites of Ben & Jerry's chocolate icecream at a party recently. It kept her quiet and happy. I couldn't believe myself.

[JacksMommy]

I thought I would never...

...feed my child any junky food
...lose my temper when he had a tantrum, I would always understand that this is an age-appropriate expression of independence and deal with it the right way. Ha!
...say "You need to finish your broccoli if you want desert (yogurt)"
...use the TV as a babysitter
...compare my child to other children

Oh well!

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
EDD baby girl 12/24/04

[tippy]

LOL! You too, huh? Nice to know I'm not the only one :)

[luvbeinmama]

My really big one was the toddler leash! So I didn't need to with DS, but this one was totally blown out of the water for DD! Now I love this contraption! LOL!

I would never use the tv to babysit my kids. Okay, I'm pretty good about this one, but never say never! I've done it a few times now. BUT it is a video/dvd, not broadcast stuff which we don't get anyhow.

I would NEVER have one of those bratty kids that run up & down the store aisles grabbing stuff off the shelves. HAH! I now have an almost 5 yo. Although he's not as bad as some I have seen (some are really destructive), he does run up & down the aisles & grab a few things he wants.

[leeming]

Love this thread! Before I had my baby, I swore I would never:

1) cosleep. Now, we sleep with him every night and LOVE it.
2) have so many toys that it takes over the house. Now - well, we don't have a HUGE amount, but somehow they're all LARGE.
3) nurse baby to sleep all the time. I still feel guilty about this one.

And I thought I would use/have a lot more hand-me-downs, both equipment and clothes - I've found that I'm really picky, though, so most of our stuff ends up being new just because I want something particular.

So far, two things I'm still holding firm on is no formula yet and no tv!

(and on the minivan front - my DH wants one SOO BAD. I figure as long as he's the one driving it ... ;-))

[Saartje]

Hm... There's not a lot, and probably won't be, because my big motto has always been "Never say never!" That said:

I didn't expect to cosleep (though I had nothing much against it). We partially cosleep; he starts the night in his crib, and DH gets up and brings him to me when he wakes in the night. (I seldom wake for this.)

I expected to use a lot more hand-me-downs for toys and clothing, because that's what I grew up with. I didn't take into account that Ishie's male cousins are at least a decade older than he and several states away, and that we no longer live in garage sale territory. I think we'll wind up with some more hand-me-down toys as he gets older; but I also find I'm pickier than I expected about his clothes. (Yes, it was thoughtful of you to buy some clothes for him at garage sales this summer, Mom. Thank you. I still don't know what you expected me to do with the stained, faded 80s-style aqua sweatshirt on which one sleeve has shrunk and the other hasn't, though.)

I hope no one minds a tangentially related gripe here: I don't have cable. I don't expect to have cable in the future, but I recognize that I may change my mind a few years down the road. I've never missed having cable yet, though. So WHY did everyone and his brother feel the need to give me that snotty "You'll see what it's like when you've got kids" look while I was pregnant and tell me that I'd *want* cable once I had kids? Um... It's not like I'm judging you for letting your kids watch TV!

So ask me the question at the top again 10 years from now, and see what I say. ;)

[jk3]

Too many to list but here are some highlights:

Never drive a mini-van (really want one now)
Never co-sleep (did this off and on for the first ten months)
Never want to stay home full time (dreading returning to work next fall)
Never alter my life drastically (HAH!)
Never use hand-me downs or used toys (love finding used toys at tag sales)
Never placate a screaming child (Often)
Never let my house turn into a child's playroom (Hah again!)
Never let my children have tvs in their rooms (Will live up to this one)
Never cut my hair short (Will also live up to this one)

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[Jen841]

Put my child in front of the TV- we are now going on week 2 of no Baby Einstein (DVD player not hooked up after the move yet) and it is driving me nuts! I am trying to get him into the Wiggles.

Feed by child fast food/mac and cheese/chicken nuggets.... Fast food he gets in a jam 1 time every 1-2 weeks. Mac and cheese I try to limit to 1 time per week and chicken nuggests he has had only 1 or 2 times.

I would not be crazy about a sleep schedule... I am, or at least I try to be. A 7pm bedtime kills me, but it works best for him.

The list could go on and on...

[alkagift]

I said I would never:

Let toys lie all over the floor overnight
Let my child eat anything that was processed
Get my hair cut short (did I really think I would have time for HAIR?)
Be a SAHM
Go anywhere without makeup (ok, I still put lipstick on)

Allison
Mommy to Matthew Clayton, 5/19/03

[jpang]

Well, like a few others, I didn't make any hard and fast rules for myself. But these are the things that have surprised me:

How much I spend on baby clothes
How much having a baby has limited travelling. (I used to think I'd be one of those parents who takes their infant everywhere. Ha!)

And yesterday I opened a bag of Pirate Booty and let her have it in the grocery store so I could shop for dinner in peace.

Sigh.

[american_mama]

I have only read half the posts, but am I the only one who swore I would not spank, yet have done it a few times?
Or never speak harshly to my child?
Let my child be a picky eater (as though I could control it)
Let my child have a tantrum in public (see above)
Be nervous about simple elements of caring for a newborn, like changing a diaper or giving a bath. I, after all, was not a nervous Nellie and had seen these things done before, so of course, I could do them, right? But doing them myself for the first time with a screaming newborn caused a near meltdown in both of us!

[tinkerbell1217]

I said I would NEVER drive a minivan! Like alot of moms, I have owned 2 in 4 years and LOVED them most of the time. I will be getting something else next time though!

[JacksMommy]

Karen, you are definitely not the only one, I have spoken much more harshly to DS than I ever pictured myself doing. :)

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
EDD baby girl 12/24/04