daycare question--am I overreacting?

[sdbc]

I know I am prone to freaking out, but would you consider removing your child from a home daycare if the daycare provider brought your 6 month old child out to run errands without your knowledge? What if she had 4 or 5 babies and wanted to take them all out with her as the sole person watching them?

[octmom]

I would be **very** upset. You should know where your child is at all times. What if (God forbid) they had been in accident or something? You have approved your child being cared for in this person's home, not anywhere the provider wanted to go.

Jerilyn
DS, Sean 10/03

"Baby makes days shorter, nights longer, home happier, and love stronger."

[trumansmom]

Not overreacting! Trust your gut. It's your child, and you need to heed your red flags. I ALWAYS want to know where my child is, and would be furious if I didn't.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04

[kensjen]

I would remove my child. You are not paying the day care provider to run errands. Her job is watching your child, and it sounds like many others too. She should have asked your permission at the very least.
JMHO!

[JacksMommy]

I don't think it's overreacting to consider removing your child for this reason, but I don't think it's the only option, either. If you really like your daycare provider and don't want to switch, then it could still be workable, if you make it clear that you want to be informed of these things, etc. But if you are getting a bad vibe anyways and want a clear reason to take DC out of there, then this certainly suffices. Most daycare providers (even private ones) require that parents sign releases allowing kids to be taken on field trips or whatever, for liability reasons and it's a little strange that yours didn't seem to be aware of the need for this.

Laurel
WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
EDD baby girl 12/24/04

[sdbc]

That's what I think, too. I trust our provider at home, but I don't trust her ability to install car seats properly, and I definitely don't trust her moving multiple pre-walking babies in and our of the house and car. I also feel like she should be taking care of the children while we are paying her, rather than doing stuff for herself... i don't think it's a regular occurence, but I just don't trust her judgement now.

[sdbc]

Laurel,

We did sign something allowing field trips, but she said she wouldn't take them on field trips until they were walking, and also that there would be another adult there. Also, field trips, I think, should be for the baby. She was taking the children to a house for an inspection. She's planning on starting a group home for troubled teenage boys--and this was a state inspection for that. The group home is another reason I'm thinking about leaving--it will be an entire second job that she will have to focus on! Not to mention these boys! :(

[babymama]

You're not overreacting. What she did was totally inappropriate.

Lydia
Mama to Santiago, born 11/16/03

[hez]

When we signed all the papers with our sitter (indicating instructions for feeding, sleeping, etc.) there was a section on letting her take DS on errands with her. We chose to allow it and ensured there was a seat in her vehicle specifically for DS (for this case we bought one). She does not take him on errands without letting us know, however.

That said, if I did not expressly give permission, I would be having a very direct conversation with her on the subject, and make my decision on keeping my child in that home day care following the conversation.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

In what state is it even legal for one adult to care for 4 or 5 babies alone??

The max for an in-home daycare here is 2 babies under the age of 2 per adult.

I would not put my baby in a day care where one adult is responsible for more than 2 babies.

...Karen
DS Jake Feb 91, DD Logan Mar 03
http://members.aol.com/khowe14494/superpower.gif http://members.aol.com/khowe14494/borntobebreastfed2.gif

[stillplayswithbarbies]

In what state is it even legal for one adult to care for 4 or 5 babies alone??

The max for an in-home daycare here is 2 babies under the age of 2 per adult.

I would not put my baby in a day care where one adult is responsible for more than 2 babies.

...Karen
DS Jake Feb 91, DD Logan Mar 03
http://members.aol.com/khowe14494/superpower.gif http://members.aol.com/khowe14494/borntobebreastfed2.gif

[s_gosney]

I know that here in OK, DHS regs are 1 caregiver for four babies under 1 year. Crazy if you ask me...


Edited to correct a typo that totally changed what I was saying.

[slknight]

Yep, I believe it's 1 to 4 here as well. DS's old daycare center tried to keep it to 3 or less, but every now and then it was 4. :-(

[lizajane]

in NC, i think 5 children under 5 is the law. but i could be mistaken.

as for the original question...

because she didn't have your permission and she didn't tell you where your baby would be, i do not think you are overeacting. i would be very upset if my child went off somewhere without my knowledge. i like dh to tell me where he is going!!

that said, when i was a childcare provider in college for a one year old, i took him ALL OVER the place. on school errands, shopping, to my sorority house, out to eat... but that was because the mom wanted him to go places and do stuff (i wore him in a backpack) and she traded cars with me or specifically left the carseat for me. it was HER idea that we got out. (when he got a little older, we went to the park, the pool, etc etc. so it was for him, not for me.)

[starrynight]

I would be upset, not to mention concerned how she could handle 4-5 babies in public! I have enough trouble with 3 children in public never mind 4-5 babies. And she is paid to watch the kids not run her errands!! If it's a once in awhile field trip type thing and she has your written permission fine, but no I would not want my children out in the car all the time for errand running during daycare hours.

And if I had another option for daycare I would consider removing my child if after expressing my concern about this issue and the provider not respecting my wishes or coming up with an agreement.

[sdbc]

Liza,

I am also in NC. It is 1:5 here. I did find a really long thing about the regulations for driving multiple children under 2 on the state daycare website. It says the ratio needs to be the same as for the daycare, but if there are 3 or more children under 2, there needs to be a separate driver. So that means 2 adults for 3-5 children on outings, 3 adults for 6-10 children. I printed this out and gave it to her today. I tried to be as tactful as possible. Still, I don't trust her judgement and am looking hard. Does anyone know of any great home daycares with openings in Durham or Raleigh NC?

Sue

[MartiesMom2B]

Sue:

I don't know of any home daycares, but I'll keep my ear open for you. I just wanted to let you know that there are a bunch of us BBers in the Raleigh area. We don't get together as often as we should, but we have a yahoo group - if you'd like to join it.

-Sonia

[sdbc]

Hi Sonia,

What is the yahoo address for the group? I'd love to join!

Sue

[MartiesMom2B]

Sue:

Can you e-mail me through the boards? I'll send it to you through e-mail.

Thanks!
-Sonia

[barbarhow]

You are right on about this one. Trust your gut and start shopping around.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
expecting #2, a Yankee fan, around 5/9/05!

[Joyce]

I usually don't post but I had to say that I would go with my mommy instincts and find another child care provider. I would be concerned. The babies obviously are not your day care provider's main priority while they are with her.

Joyce

Mama to Lauren 3/10/03

[C99]

It would totally depend on what the errand was. Going to Target or the grocery store is a lot different than doing a home inspection, IMO.

[jubilee]

I'd be going elsewhere because of the troubled teenage boys issue. I really wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

[Judegirl]

I haven't read the responses, and I can only imagine how hard it must be to find a good daycare provider, but still I say: I'd take her out in a heartbeat. No questions asked.

Jude

[Misha412]

You are totally not overreacting....you are 100% justified in being upset about this. My DS is now at home with a nanny, and we outfitted her car with a car seat so if she needs to run an emergency errand or take DS to the library she can. That being said, it's only ONE child and she is a very responsible person.

I'd either pull my child out or clearly tell the provider that you do not want your child put in this situation ever again.

Michele
Mommy to Gavin, 12/4/03

[Melanie]

Absolutely and this group home for troubled boys, well, GOOD FOR HER, but I'm thinking it might make it a less than ideal situation for your baby. Perhaps it's time to move on.

[kransden]

I don't care where she was going, you can't watch that many children at once safely in an unknown enviroment.

If she is getting troubled teen boys I can't tell you how fast I would get my child out of there. Often those children are abused and they abuse others that can't defend themselves. There would be nothing she could do or say to keep my child there once the kids were there. Some people might say I am over proctective, but I just read the paper. I never want my child to wind up as a news story.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[Sarah1]

I agree w/everybody--move on. You should definitely have been notified beforehand that your child was leaving her home. I'm sure she's a nice lady, but she sounds like she's spreading herself a little thinly here.

Good luck finding an alternative... :)

[sntm]

I think you are reacting appropriately. I'd be worried that a) she didn't ask permission b) you didn't know where your child was in case of an emergency c) she had 4-5 babies in an uncontrolled environment as the sole caregiver d) how would she transport 4-5 babies safely (in appropriate carseats, rearfacing, in the back seat) e) the troubled boys? RED FLAG.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]
Breastfeeding 17 months and counting

[sdbc]

Karin,

The boys will not be in her home (where the babies are)--they will be at a different house. But yes, the two don't mix. I'm looking hard for new daycare now. Hopefully I will have it before the home opens.

Sue

[sdbc]

Thank you everybody for your input. I am looking for new care now. I would like to get her out as soon as possible, but absolutely before the group home opens. I told her that Rory should not be transported anywhere. If she needs to leave for any reason, call us and we will pick up Rory. Not the best situation, and I also feel bad for the other parents who don't have as flexible jobs. One of the other moms is also looking for new daycare.

Sue

[iujen94]

Hi Sue - I know I'm getting in on this topic a little late, so hopefully you are still checking this topic. I also live in Raleigh (well, work in Raleigh and live in Holly Springs). I can't recommend a home day care, but I can VERY STRONGLY recommend All About Kids, a "traditional" day care in Cary (on Kildaire Farm Road, near Ten Ten, if you know where that is). They are absolutely outstanding (the only bad thing, from your perspective, is that they often have a wait list). DS has been there since he was about 3 months old and I absolutely love the teachers we've met and the administrators are wonderful! I'd be happy to tell you more about them if you want to PM me.

[HannaAddict]

I would remove my child if she did this without permission. I would also remove my child long before the provider opened a home for troubled teenage boys. In a heartbeat. No ifs, ands or buts.

If I wanted to allow permission for a child care provider to drive anywhere with my child, I would want a current copy of her driving record and criminal history and proof of insurance and to know what type of car and carseat they have before granting permission.

You are not overreacting. It is a safety issue.