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View Full Version : How do you do time outs?



casey118
11-23-2004, 05:10 PM
Jumping off of the other thread, how do you do an effective time out? I read there are maybe differing opinions on where to do it, but it sounds like you just don't want to make the time out place a negative place. Are time outs effective because of the separation from the parent? Or because they are quiet time?

I believe that kids are just experimenting most of the time, and if I don't make a big deal out of certain behaviors (that aren't dangerous), DS will move on, and for the most part that has worked. I've also really tried hard not to tell my DS "no" over things that aren't a big deal, but he is 2 now and I need some kind of effective discipline strategy for when he "breaks the rules" that really need to be followed (example, throwing food- and he doesn't do it when he is done, or running into the street).

Thanks for your advice!

jd11365
11-23-2004, 06:47 PM
Well, by all means, I am no expert. We are just starting this stuff ourselves. So far the only time Kayla has gotten time outs has been when her safety is in jeopardy...and she tests it. Like when she climbs on the end table from the couch, or climbs on the table from the chair. I first warn her...and she knows exactly what I'm saying...and then follow through if she continues. She needs to learn if she climbs on the table, she's going to end up in her room.

The time out is in her crib. Light on, standing up, door open...different from bedtime where there is soft lighting, a paci, a blanky, a bedtime story, and a closed door. She goes in for a minute, then I remind her why she got her time out, give her a hug, and that's the end of it...nothing more is said or done. Usually close to the end of the minute, the crying has stopped as she seems to know it's time to calm down, get a hug and be over with it.

HTH!

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
May '03

Momof3Labs
11-23-2004, 06:51 PM
The way I look at it, time outs "reset" Colin. He gets maybe 1-2 or so per week, so we aren't using them all day long. Most of the time we can redirect him (tickling works wonders, go figure) but when he just can't stop the behavior, we put him in a time out. It's almost like it gives him something else to focus on for a minute or two, and it's enough to stop focusing on what was causing the problem in the first place.

So, at this point (we've used time outs since 15 months) I consider a time out to be a way to break the downward spiral in behavior, not necessarily a punishment.

I normally do time outs in Colin's bedroom. If we are out, I'll put him somewhere that he can't get out (like the car seat) and ignore him for the 1-2 minutes. In a pinch, we'll do a time out in a chair or whatever with our back to them, but I prefer to put him in his room where he is isolated from us and, most likely, whatever triggered the behavior in the first place.

If you haven't already, check out the book "1-2-3 Magic". I really like the way that it approaches discipline (gently), and we have had good success with the counting strategy with Colin already. In a way, I think that he is too little to self-limit his behavior consistently, so on "3", he doesn't always get a full time out - sometimes he just gets removed from the situation (e.g. climbing on the chair, so I will take him off of the chair on "3"). I'm sure that will change in time, but for right now it seems to be working for us.