Are you an only child?

[kristine_elen]

We are contemplating trying for baby #2 soon, but I'm having reservations. One of my main reasons for wanting a second is that I was an only child and I often wished I had a sibling.

To the only children out there, do you wish you had siblings? (Did you wish for them when you were a child and/or do you wish for them now?) Also, are you outgoing or shy? I tend to be shy and always wondered if it was because I was an only child. Any other comments on the matter?

Thanks so much!

[Tori_s mom]

I definitely wish I had siblings. I really enjoy watching my DH and his brother and sister. I feel like they are kinda my sibs, but there is a difference. I also had 2 cousins who acted like my big brothers. They were very protective of me. A little too protective sometimes, IMHO :).

I'm pretty shy, too. I have a friend who is the opposite. She is an only and very outgoing. I'm planning on trying for baby 2 as well (in a year or so). I love Tori so much and love being a mom that I can't imagine not having more!

Tasha

Tori (3/11/04)

[smallestangel]

I'm an only child and I've always wished for siblings. I always thought it would have been nice to have a big brother looking out for me. Or to have a sister to share things with when I was a teenager

Also, my dad passed away two years ago. My mom was devastated and so I had to make all the arrangements myself. I wished so badly that there could have been a sibling with me.

I tend to be shy too. I did (and still do) have a great imagination though. I chalk it up to all the solitary playing.


We're having one more and a lot of my motivation to do so is to give J.D. a sibling. I had wanted four children, but I had a nightmare L&D. It really scared me off of having more, but I don't want Jacob to be alone.

Amanda & Jacob :)

[pritchettzoo]

I am an only child. I was definitely lonely growing up, especially since my parents divorced when I was 2 1/2. Younger siblings would have just been more people to take care of, so I'm glad in some ways that I didn't have any, but an older to take care of me might have been nice. I'm shy until I get to know people, and I am very uncomfortable in groups of people my age. I am much more comfortable in a group of older people. I'm really dreading my parents aging because I am the ONLY one to take care of them. My dad remarried when I was 5 and is still married, and my stepmother has no children, and my mom is remarried to someone whose daughter lives far, far away, so I could be stuck with FOUR elderly parents to care for. My mother and I took care of my grandmother, and I was glad to do everything I did for her, but no matter how much you love someone, it's an incredible drain.

I would like 3 children, and we'll see what happens.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03)

[jd11365]

Shy, um, no. I have to say I'm pretty darn outgoing. I always thought it was overcompensation for not having siblings.

Growing up, I always wanted siblings...until I was a teenager and then I was thankful not to have them after watching friends w/ siblings. It was selfish really, I didn't have to share a car or clothes.

Now that I'm an adult I wish I had siblings. Both my parents, who have been divorced since I was 3, are only children, so no aunts/uncles/cousins for me. Once my parents pass, I'm on my own, so I figure I have to make my own family...and one for Kayla. Had I had more family Kayla might be an only child, but I would like one more so she can have a sibling, and maybe some nieces and nephews when she's older. I wouldn't want more because I want to be able to afford to send both to college and provide some travel too.

My mom's philosophy is do one, do one well...which I totally understand. Providing total attention and resources to one is the idea. But in my case I want her to have some family which to me is the best resource!

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
May '03

[jk3]

I was lonely as a child despite the fact that I had good friends + tons of cousins nearby. As an adult, I often think about how my life would be different if I had a sibling. I feel so strongly about this issue. I know I've missed out on many levels throughout my life. I wish their was someone who shared my childhood. My mother + MIL are also only children and I've watched them deal with the sole burden of their aging parents. It's difficult though I know not all siblings pitch in to the same degree.

I wouldn't say I'm shy but I think I'm slow to warm up which I think is partially due to the fact that I'm an only child. I'm definitely not as assertive as I should be since there was always an adult to pick up the pieces for me as a child. I think sibling reltationships- good and difficult- are so important. I will do whatever I can to ensure that my DS has at least 2 siblings!

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[August Mom]

I'm an only child and liked it for the most part. There was one brief phase when I was about 9 or 10 when I really wanted a little brother to take care of, but that phase passed. What I found neat about being an only child was that my parents and I always did things together -- all 3 of us went to the movies, went out to eat, etc. Sure, I did things with just my mom or occasionally just my dad, but it was easy to do things all together. Plus, both my mom an dad were able to come to my school events (there weren't conflicts with other siblings' events).

I married into a family with 5 siblings. Family events with DH's family are a little crazy. It's fun when everyone is together, but it is also a little overwhelming at times and I definitely wouldn't want that many kids. One BIL and SIL have 4 kids themselves and although they are great kids, that's too many for me. Just the logistics of having that many are too much for me.

My best friend from law school is an only and has hated it her entire life. She is really worried about being all alone when her parents die and the responsibility of taking care of them by herself.

I was a very shy child growing up. I think I came out of my in high school. I have known only children that were shy and also those that were outgoing. It just depends on the person.

[californiagirl]

I'm an only child (of two only children) and never wanted a sibling.

[Melanie]

I am an only child...as a child I wished for siblings and as an adult, I still do. I see the support my mother has from her sibling while going through difficult times of parental illness, I see the support my friend has from her close-knit siblings whenever she does or needs anything.

While I do feel content with our family, I swore to myself I would go to the ends of the Earth to make sure our child was not an only, and that is what I will do.

As a child I was extremely shy...I've worked through that for the most part...mostly in college and since.

I also detested the stigma of being an only that was placed on me by society/friends/etc. I'm sure you know what I mean. I felt it was very unfair. Classmates would say things like "You are so spoiled b/c you are an only child...you have this and this and this."

[s7714]

I am an only child. I cannot say there was ever a point in time when I was young that I really wished for a sibling. I know I questioned my mom as to why they didn't have more children a couple of times when I was young, but it was more out of curiosity than a "I wanted a brother/sister" complaint. Now that I'm older, the only disappointing aspect for me on the issue is that my children will not have any aunts or uncles on my side of the family. Both my parents came from large families, so I had a lot of aunts and uncles growing up. My kids will have some from DH's side, but it still makes me a little sad there won't be any from my own side of the family.

I really don't think of myself as shy, although people often accuse me of it because I am so quiet. I am admittedly a introvert, but I have never had a problem taking charge of a project, speaking in public, etc., which is why I don't consider myself to be shy. I think perhaps I spent so much time as a child in the company of only adults where I was playing quietly by myself and watching what was going on, that it's just second nature to sit quietly and watch things now, IYKWIM.

ET fix typo :)

Jennifer
Mommy to
Annalia 03/03/03
DC #2 EDD: 6/05

[Sarah1]

Hi Kristine,

I'm not an only child, but my mom and my MIL both are. Both of them are very social and outgoing. :)

[amazz]

When I was really little I wanted a sibling b/c my parents were always too tired to play with me, but other than that, I never did. I liked having my parents attention and now that I'm older I really like not having to share my mom with anyone except Kami!!!! I know that sounds horribly selfish, but I had a hard time growing up and needed that attention from my mom.

I've never really been shy at all. I do like being by myself or just around a small group of people better than a big crowd, but I can put on a show for a big crowd if need be. :)

I think that if you love your child/children and make every effort to do what is best for them in every situation (like I know all of us strive to do), then I honestly don't think it matters if you have one child or 10 children. Every family dynamic is different and I think you can make the best out of whatever dynamic you choose!

BTW, I do plan to have more than one child, but it has nothing to do with my being an only child. I'm young, I love kids, and I have the opportunity to be a SAHM so I think my life is set up to have more than one. :)

Good Luck!
Angela
Mama to Kami Allyse (10/10/04)
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. ~Carl Sandburg