Book to encourage a woman to leave a bad marriage? (long)

[kristine_elen]

My MIL is in a bad marriage but doesn't want to have a second "failure" on her hands, so she is staying with her (second) husband. My husband and his sister and I all think she should leave him. My MIL will admit at times that she wants to leave, but then she says he's not a bad person at heart and she backtracks and stays with him. (He's not physically abusing her, but he can be very verbally abusive. She says he's getting better, but mainly I think she's just sticking up for herself more. I don't call that happiness, and she is in fact not very happy.) Anyway, I think she's read a lot of books about how to "cope" when I think she really needs a kick in the pants that says "Don't cope; leave." She even visited a financial planner that said she would be perfectly comfortable living on her savings. Not extravagantly so, but certainly comfortable enough to not have to stay in a bad marriage.

Anyway! I've been looking on Amazon but I can't find any such book, at least not with the searches I've been doing. Anyone know of one? (I'm going to make my SIL give it to her. It won't be from me.)

Thanks so much!

[trumansmom]

How about "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood? Here's the Amazon link: http://tinyurl.com/6fvs6

I read it years ago, and it made a huge difference in the types of relationships I had. I seriously doubt I ever would have married DS if I hadn't read it. I was too busy dating abusive jerks to make time for a nice guy like him.

Although I don't remember a specific "get rid of him" component to the book, while reading it, it became the logical course of action and I ditched a seriously abusive man who had pretty much controlled me for a couple of years. I still have nightmares about him.

Sending good, strong, powerful woman vibes your MIL's way...

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04

[jubilee]

When I was in counseling right before my divorce from my first husband, my counselor had me read "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. Although the reviews at Amazon talk about it healed the marriage of many, it actually helped me let go of an impossible marriage. Dobson is a Christian and referrences the bible quite a bit, so that may or may not suit your MIL. Like I said, this book was very interesting and helped me "get over" the loss of my marriage.

[lmariana]

I've never read it, but my counselor recommends "Codependent No More". The title is a little blunt, so it may not be a very subtle hint.

I'd certainly recommend some counseling just for her to get her feelings out in the open to someone who can really help. I love love love our counselor, and I don't know why we didn't start going sooner!

Mariana
Owner of HappyDayBaby
Mother of Gabriel, 08/14/2003
www.heinzandmariana.com (personal site)

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030814/1/5/0/-5/.png[/img] ([img)

[MommytoDylan]

I was going to post this book also! I've heard wonderful things about it!

Meredith

[kristine_elen]

I'll check it out. You know, they've done "counseling' through books and exercises at home. (He's probably too cheap for more than that.) The bottom line is, she married him totally on the rebound from her first marriage and they just don't click. He doesn't make her laugh. They see the world differently. They want different things from life. So even if they can get beyond his verbal abuse, there's not a lot there. She said to me, "I never should have married him, but I did, so..." So she needs to regret it the rest of her life and suffer along? I'm not advocating divorce as a first course of action, but I think it can be a lifesaver in certain situations.