Poll: Do you send out a holiday letter or "update" in addition to a card and/or photo?

[LucyG]

I'm one of those people who loves to get holiday cards with a letter telling about what the person/family has been up to all year. So, DH and I have always sent a letter with our holiday photo. We do a cute format for it. Kind of dorky, I know, but that's just how we are. This year, though, I'm realizing we don't have much to say that is different from last year. DD is older and doing new things, of course, but I don't want to send out a boring and ho-hum letter if we don't really have anything new to say. And, I DON'T want the letter to be a "isn't our daughter smart and cute" kind of thing. We do live a long way from most family and friends, so it's not like we see them all the time. What do you do?

[brigmaman]

We have a friend of the family who sends the letter from the POV of her cat. It makes it a bit less pretentious than some others we've received.
ETA- didn't mean to sound like the letters in general are pretentious. It just happens that the one other one we get each year is from a family who I already know IS pretentious and the children are fully grown and yet the parents give us updates as though they were still in grade school.

[houseof3boys]

Never have done it but am thinking of doing it this year! I think I will do it from our dogs, Gordon, point of view though since I think that is adorable and it could be hysterical. :)

[steph2003]

I do - I have a large extended family that I don't "talk" with much. I only include letters to family & friends that I correspond with a couple of times a year versus my best friends in another state that I email several times a week (they already know what is going on in my lives) I keep it short & sweet - only 3 paragraphs. 1 paragraph this year highlighting DS's birth, 1 paragraph summing up our jobs & 1 paragraph highlighting travels/holiday plans.

I personally enjoy getting updates from people I don't talk to much but still like to hear from (ie some old college friends) The letters I find obnoxious are the ones that highlight every little detail (we bought a brand spankin new BMW, a 5,000 sq foot house, blah, blah, blah)

[Marisa6826]

I'm personally not a fan of the "update" letters. We receive a couple of them from people that we NEVER hear from and I think they're pretty obnoxious.

My feeling is that if you're not close enough to maintain a reasonable amount of regular contact, then you shouldn't be sending a Christmas card, KWIM?

My rule for sending cards (based on what my wedding planner taught me about wedding invites) is that unless you'd be willing to have the person over for dinner, you don't send them a card.

Saves me a LOT of money!!! :P

-m

[mudder17]

I've done it a couple of times and MIGHT do it this year--that is if I get the time, LOL! But as Marisa said, most of the people I would send it to already get e-mail from me, so they pretty much know what's been going on in my life. But I am one who enjoys reading them from other people, so I might try to fit it in this year. Of course, with all the time I've spent putting together a calendar (will be my x-mas gift this year) and holiday card (lol), I might not get around to it. And I don't think people will be disappointed, either. :)

However, a holiday letter from the POV of one of my cats sounds quite hilarious and may be worth pursuing. :) We have received a couple of gifts/cards from the POV of our neighbor's cat and I love them!

Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
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http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[steph2003]

Marisa -

excellent tip about cutting down the list!!! I need to employ that although the problem is most of the people on my list I would want to have over for dinner (or in my case at least meet up with them for dinner out!) if they were passing thru town. I do use the 2 year strike rule, I actually track who I send cards to & who I get them from....am I a dork or what?! If I don't hear from you 2 years in a row you get cut from the list :) I guess I look at holiday cards as a once a year check in with distant family/friends - now where I draw the line is sending them to all the neighbors. I like the majority of my neighbors, but I see them nearly all the time - should I be sending them cards too?! if so, my list just grew again & my DH is going to kill me!

[Marisa6826]

No, I don't send them to neighbours. I guess if they sent them to you, you might feel obligated to reciprocate.

Are you close enough to them to vote on a moratorium? ;)

We went back and forth big time about whether or not to send the neighbours Amelia's announcements. Since they all know I'm obviously preggo, and we're kind of new here, we chose to do it despite my protests. Jonathan's feeling is that we're going to live here a long time and we will never know when we might need them on our side.

Strange mentality, but what are you going to do? ;)

-m

[KBecks]

I've done them in the past, but keep it pretty short. The year I did it, I put two letters on an 8.5 x 11 page and cut them down.

I like getting letters, though the really long ones can be a bore to read. We had our baby this fall, so there's more to talk about, but basically the letter is going to be a brief, cheerful and maybe humorous update on our family.

We have out of town relatives we don't see and don't communicate with often, but would love to see when they're in town and would visit if we're in their area. Maybe I'm a big introvert, but I only talk with my best friends every month or two, so there are opportunities to update a little, or share a brief story about our family.

I might write a brief personal note in some cards too. This may be tacky, but I put post-it notes with little personal messages in some of Alek's announcements to relatives and friends who I hadn't communicated with in a while, (some who didn't know I was pregnant.) I received friendly congrats phone calls from some of those folks, so I think the extra notes were appreciated.

[steph2003]

Actually we do know them well enough to say let's agree no cards....problem is I wouldn't mind exchanging them with a handful since I enjoy their kids & our kids play together (well eventually they will when they are all mobile) but then if you do one neighbor you almost have to include all of them because so & so talks to so & so....it gets out of control. I'm hoping if I just don't send out any to neighbors they'll eventually get the point & ax me from their lists too.

ok, I guess now I'm hijacking this thread. But I am interested in other's response as to how do you decide who gets cards & who doesn't? maybe I should start yet another thread?! :)

[KBecks]

We did not send birth announcements to our neighbors, but my DH took cigars and chocolate to offer to each neighbor on our small street the night Alek was born. He also had the digital camera which had some photos to share.

Later when Alek and I were out for walks, we visited a few neighbors, and a few neighbors stopped by after we were home to see the new kiddo. Many of our neighbors brought gifts for Alek, which I didn't expect at all.

[MamaKath]

If you didn't want to do an update letter, how about a photo collage? A friend of mine does this. She picks about 6 good photos from various events throughout their year and creates a page complete with details about the photo or event. Like a scrapbook page. She has it color photo copied. Some years she has also had her family's letter on the back, other years there has been nothing on the back.

For us, I like to send them out. Doesn't always happen though. Last year cards didn't go out at all. :-( This year I am not sure they will either. I may be on no one's list if they all follow the 2 strikes rule. I do send them usually to friends and family, and use a letter (if I put one in) to highlight our families changes, visitors, travels, etc. but also to share our family's reason for celebrating Christmas. My mom sends them every year, and I always thought they were kind of dorky until a friend called me out of the blue to say her folks got Mom's letter and they were so glad to hear from us and what was going on, etc. Changed my perspective I guess.

Some formats I have done in the past-
*Written by a pet
*Newspaper style with articles about happenings and in a column format, photos, etc
*Regular letter from us

HTH~

[egoldber]

Well, we don't celebrate Christmas, but we send holiday cards because we like to get them. A couple people we exchange cards with send us newsletters. Maybe its just the people that we exchange cards with, but the newsletters we get are always super religious (thank the good Lord that He allowed us to to do XYZ this year, etc.). The really odd thing is that neither of these people talk like this in person (even though they are obviously quite religious), so I find it strange that they word their newsletters like this. But anyhoo....

ETA: Just to clarify, it doesn't bother me that these people are religious, I just find it odd that their newsletters are not reflective of how they actually sound in real life. I like letters that sound like people sound, IYKWIM.

I don't mind getting ones that are newsy, breezy updates. But we never do it. I do include a lengthy personal note for people that I still like a lot, but don't have the time to maintain a regular correspondence with.

[KBecks]

I think cards are for people you can't see in person. It seems odd to send a card to someone you can say hello to anytime.

I think a wave and a Happy Holidays is fine, or a brief chat if it's warm enough outside. If you're ambitious, you might want to make brief visits to your neighbors or invite them over for a drink.

KBecks

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

and I hang my head in shame over it...
I still have the pretty cards from 5 years ago to put a picture of steve and I in when we got married to send out as christmas cards...

with that said I do enjoy newsletters...I know my mom finds them a faux pas of sorts as she spends her free time between thansgiving and christmas hand writing all of her cards. I personally wouldn't care if a faux pas or not I find that is the best way to spread our news then that is how I'd do it. I can't imagine spending money and time just to sign our names.

However I did just get a card from my college roommate who lost her hubby in a helicopter accident with a 14 month old and 6 months pregnant with number two when it happened. Her newsletter mentioned every road trip they had been on and people names they stayed with etc... and I tuned out quickly...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of sharing news via the critters...might steal that idea if I ever send out cards...


Neve and Tristan born Feb 25, 2003
* EDD 3/19/05 Baby girl BRONWYN
* Adopting siblings in Ukraine 12-10-04
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan

[LucyG]

Okay, I'm curious to see some letters from the POV of family pets! If you've done one of these and would be willing to share, could you email it to me, or post a little snippet here? I love this idea!

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21 months and counting!

[Marisa6826]

We have the same core of about 50 people that are on our mailing list. It started out with our wedding invites, then Sophie's birth announcement, then our moving announcement, Jonathan's big 40th birthday invite list and now Amelia's announcement.

Most of it consists of immediate family and close friends. People that, as I said, we'd have over to dinner without a second thought.

I have axed a few and added others as time has progressed. I have no guilt about dropping ones I've lost touch with, or have not responded when I've asked for updated contact information. If they can't bother responding to my phone message to do something as simple as giving me a new addy, I can't be bothered spending the time and money to continue them on our list.

I've finally gotten Jonathan trained about dropping people he doesn't hear from. He's very nostalgic and continued to send stuff to his old college friends/roommates. We'd regularly get the stuff returned by the post office. Since I"m the one writing and mailing them out, he doesn't know the difference anyway ;).

We haven't done Christmas cards the past two years (this one will be baby announcement and last year, it was change of addy), but I don't forsee sending holiday cards to more than two neighbours - there are two others that we "know" but they don't bother with us, and we don't bother with them. In fact, they don't even wave when we drive by them. Not card worthy!!!! :P

I will be interested to see if they send US anything. There is an elderly couple right across the street from us that regularly sends us Hannukah/Passover/Yom Kippur cards, which is kind of odd, because I'm pretty certain they're Christian. But they are very, very sweet and would definitely be on our list.

-m

[kitmama]

I love to send holiday cards, (even halloween! :) ) because I love to get them. I am a big fan of snail-mail correspondance anyway, though- I like sending letters and thank-you notes whenever I get the chance. I have sent update letters at Christmastime before, but don't do it every year.

This year, I'm putting together something a little different. I STILL have Simon's birth announcements from Oct 2003 (hanging head in shame) that I just never quite managed to address and mail out. So what I have decided to do is mail them along with a recent picture of Simon and a holiday letter- a sort of "look how far he's come in a year!" idea. The letter will be from his perspective. It's a way for me to have not completely wasted the money on those announcements, while sending a fun and memorable holiday update at the same time. Plus, the mere fact that I'm sending them over a year late will probably amuse (but not surprise, I'm afraid) my friends and relatives.

[billysmommy]

Last year I did a letter from Billy's POV, complete with little (2"x3") pictures of when he was born and dressed up for Halloween. It came out really cute and we actually got a couple of phone calls from friends we hadn't heard from in awhile saying they were glad we thought of them and we ended up renewing some really good friendships from high school and college :) I am in the process of writing this year's and am now trying to decide which 2 "happenings" deserve pictures. I think we're going with his 1st b-day and him on the beach in St Thomas.

[Saartje]

I'm the same way, Neve, though I'm not sure I'd ever have had the nerve to confess it if you hadn't said so. I used to never see the point, but I wasn't all that big on holidays anyway. DH is very enthusiastic about holidays, which gets me a bit more excited; but I've still never cared enough about the holidays to send out a card. That said, I've been considering getting a family photo made to send on a Christmas card this year; but I haven't yet, and may not get around to it.

As for newsletters, I've only ever gotten them from one relative, who every year sends out a long cutesy letter with very small margins on all four edges of the paper, and little space between the lines -- dense, hard-to-read text. And she details every little thing her children or grandchild have done, all year long... I don't like newsletters much, though the concept of them doesn't really bother me; so this is probably why. I will say that I do dearly love this relative and enjoy getting to catch up with her when I see her.

[redhookmom]

I love getting the newsy, chatty letters. I do find the updates on grown children kind of wierd.
Last year we got a Top Ten list from a friend which was funny.

[mamahill]

I love love love cards. I send them to anyone I feel like. Last year I think we sent out around 75. This year it may be more, maybe less - depends on how I'm feeling. BUT, I'm a stickler for card etiquette - I hand-write the addresses/returns and include as much of a personalized message as I have time, if I can avoid the hand-cramping. I'll include a basic family update to those people we don't have as frequent contact with (extended family, college friends I correspond with less, etc.). My feeling is that I would love to get a card from them and know how they are doing. The letters/updates that go on and on can be annoying, but I still like reading most of them.

I look at cards as a small gift - a heartfelt wish from one to another, and as such I love picking out cards (this takes up more time and money than it probably should over the year). I also keep all the cards I receive. I look at it as a way to say, 'I was thinking of you and hope you're well.' That's why I don't really like printed addresses and nothing but a signature inside the card - well thank YOU for taking the time. Again - just my personal preference.

[C99]

If I include a note, it's a personal note, not a form letter. We get a couple of form letters (I call them "brag letters") every year from distant family members and one in particular is the subject of much ridicule (among other family members, not just those in our household) because it's so over-the-top "we have the Midas touch." I think that if I don't see or correspond with someone regularly, they aren't really going to care about what happened in our lives in the last year.

[Mommaof2]

I do the same thing with tracking who we get cards from and "cutting" them after two years. My list is up to 90 so I look for ways to cut each year. I do send to two neighbors. Those who sent baby gifts get cards.