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View Full Version : Addiction or Separation Anxiety? What to do? Need advice!



McQ
11-30-2004, 11:32 AM
Up until a few weeks ago Declan watched little to no tv - I'm talking less than 2 hours a week. When he did watch it was usually Signing Times, Wiggles or JoJo. In the past couple weeks he's started asking for the TV buy pointing to it and saying "Leah" or "JoJo" or bringing me the ST DVD and saying "Leah". And then I made the mistake of tivoing Sesame Street so he could watch Elmo, big mistake.

I think he's now either addicted to Elmo or he's experiencing some sort of separation anxiety. I say this because when Elmo is not on the screen he asks "Elmo, Elmo, Elmo" - like a worried where did he go type of thing. But the kicker is the other night he runs into the kitchen crying - a sad upset cry - "Elmo, Elmo". I turned to him and asked him what was wrong and when he saw me coming he ran back into the living room pointing to the tv which had the credits rolling. He was crying that Elmo was over. I told him that Elmo was going to have his dinner and that we'd watch Elmo later. This is happening now a lot, many times a day. Even when the tv is not on he gives me the sad cry asking for Elmo. Or if Elmo is on, I get the sad cry when the credits roll or when it's not an Elmo segment.

What do you think this is and how should I handle it? I've gotten him a stuffed Elmo to pal around with but it just doesn't cut it like the tv one. I try to redirect to other things, tell him Elmo is going to bed/nap/have dinner and will back later/tomorrow. It's really bothering me that he's getting so sad about not having Elmo. But I don't want to cave and turn him into a tv zombie. Has this happened in your house and what did you do?

Thanks
Allison
~ mama to Declan 3.24.03 and Meghan 8.26.04

Marisa6826
11-30-2004, 11:37 AM
Sophie is FOREVER asking to watch "Aiiiiii" a/k/a Oswald. Usually I've found that the big hysterics happen when she truly needs a nap.

We tell her she's watched enough of him for the day and just leave it at that. Sometimes she will deal, other times she has a total meltdown.

Granted, she's watching waaaaay more TV than she should be at this point, it's exclusively Noggin or Baby Einstein.

I think you should just let it slide. He will get over it.

-m

McQ
11-30-2004, 01:33 PM
I'm such a wuss. I can't stand to see my little guy so sad.

Okay, who's Oswald?

Allison
~ mama to Declan 3.24.03 and Meghan 8.26.04

cinrein
11-30-2004, 02:01 PM
Anna asks for her "Count Bat" dvd (Sesame Street's 25th Anniversary Celebration) all day long. When she is watching it she can't even enjoy the last track because she knows it's almost over and she starts asking for it again. I only let her watch it once a day and when it's done tell her she's watched enough for the day. She still asks for it, but I redirect and she gets over it. I wouldn't say she's really sad about not having it though. I did find her some cute little 5-page Sesame Street board books at BJs that are an acceptable replacement. Anna loves to read almost as much as watching that damn dvd, so we read books about her SS friends a lot.

Could it be Declan has learned how to act? I only ask because I recently discovered that Anna is quite the actress. She can turn on the tears like Meryl Streep. Her Mommy thought her baby wasn't capable of doing that yet and got played like a fool. :)

FWIW, my Mom said I used to cry like my heart was broken whenever the credits rolled for Lassie. LOL!

Cindy and Anna February 2003

papal
11-30-2004, 02:01 PM
Allison, what if he had a real stuffed Elmo? Maybe he wouldn't be as sad then? Or would it be confusing to see two Elmos?
Or my other thought is that maybe he is 'playing' you? He is a clever little booger for sure (in a good way)... i do think it might be a start of an addiction if this goes on though. You know me though, I am not so fond of the tv myself... so my take my thoughts with a fist of salt!

Also, Meghan is looking very delicious in her new avatar!!! But I miss Declan! Want a flashing one?

cinrein
11-30-2004, 02:13 PM
Oswald is a blue octopus. I know he comes on Noggin at 5:00 pm. He has a really soothing voice. There is also a penguin on the show and the actor that played Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley does his voice. I find it kind of funny to hear Squiggy in a penguin. :)

Cindy and Anna February 2003

slknight
11-30-2004, 02:15 PM
We've got a similar thing going on here, but with Thomas. So maybe this is normal behavior? Alex wants to watch Thomas often. Fortunately, the main tv is in the basement where I work and he spends most of his day upstairs on the main floor (no tv in the living room). So he only watches early in the morning or before supper. If we had a tv up there, I think he would be begging for it more. We do have one in our bedroom, but again, he's not in there much.

We spent the weekend at BIL's ski-house in Vermont where there was a tv in the living room, and he kept brining the remote to us. He's not talking much, so he just stands in front of the tv and signs "train" over and over, with this sad little look on his face.

We have been trying to redirect, by either reading a Thomas book, or by playing with our actual trains. Sometimes we just tell him that all the trains on the tv are sleeping. No major tantrums about this *yet.* <crossing fingers>

Marisa6826
11-30-2004, 02:21 PM
Oswald's voice is Fred Savage from the Wonder Years.

Lorraine Newman from SNL does a bunch of voices also.

It's really a nice show. Not annoying for the most part, although Daisy works my last nerve.

Can you say PESTICIDE?! Muhaahahahahahaaaaaa :P

-m

JLiebCamm
11-30-2004, 05:11 PM
We've been going through the same thing with Bob the Builder. Up until September, Nate had no interest in TV. Then POW- he wanted Bob constantly. Usually when it's on he does other things, but if we try to turn it off he throws tantrums. One thing that we do is set the oven timer, and tell him that he can wtch again when the timer goes off. Every time he asks we take him to the timer and remind him that we have to wait. In the meantime we let him tote around the box that the DVD came in. We also redirect him to other activities that we know he loves in rooms away from the TV. He doesn't think about it as much if the TV isn't nearby.

marinkitty
11-30-2004, 10:23 PM
Allison - Funny that you are going through this since Declan is just a week younger than Mia and we are battling something similar here. With us it is the Wiggles ("Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy" to be precise). She has watched a Baby Einstein or Signing Time (usually once a day or every other day) for a long time and we never had any problems with TV addiction. I opened the Wiggles DVD about 2 weeks ago and created a monster. She now goes over to the TV repeatedly during the day, turns it on and asks for "more" - which is basically what she says when she wants anything. She cries when the show ends, cries if I say no - and sometimes it is an absolute meltdown.

So my solution a week ago was to nix the TV altogether for awhile. We went cold turkey for a week and as the week went on she asked much less often. Yesterday I had to get something done and she wasn't cooperating so I caved and put Signing Times on - she cried when she saw it wasn't the Wiggles but got over it fairly quickly. So back to no TV today. I'm hoping if we just take a break for awhile when we resume watching I can talk about it being a special treat and hopefully she'll have passed out of this obsessive stage. You can't even mention the names of any of the songs or god forbid, sing them, or she just loses it wanting to watch right then.

Good luck with Declan - I hope he gets past this soon. I know it is hard to see them so upset and in my case, I felt guilty, because the reason she'd been watching DVDs more often (and that I cracked the Wiggles DVD in the first place) is because I've been needing more couch/rest time during the day feeling so crappy with this pg. Let me know if you find a magic solution!

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03)
Another March baby EDD (3.22.05)

http://lilypie.com/days/050322/0/0/1/-6/.png

McQ
12-01-2004, 02:42 PM
Funny you mention singing. I often have the unexplained urge to break out into "Hey JoJo, what do you say..." and if I forget and eek out "Hey" his face turns and he calls for the tv.

I guess it's just something normal our little ones are going through. Hopefully they'll be on to something else soon.

Oh, and just wait until the new one gets here and you want to cook dinner. A near impossible task which is why Elmo has been on a lot more these days!

Allison
~ mama to Declan 3.24.03 and Meghan 8.26.04

COElizabeth
12-01-2004, 03:04 PM
It's so funny to read all these stories and see that others are going through the same phenomenon! At our house it's the I Love CAT Machines video. James used to watch very little tv, too, but now he is completely obsessed with the "guck" (truck) video and wants it on all day long, even when he is playing with something else or eating. I also think it's interesting that a lot of the people who have responded are either pregnant or have new babies! When James was in the grandparents' care while I was in the hospital, they actually moved his chair to a different spot at the table so he could see the tv screen from the kitchen. And there it has stayed. Great. I think I need to crack down a little and try some of these strategies of the timer and having the trucks go to sleep! :)

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02
and Charlotte, 11-04-04