Japanese Culture Question

[August Mom]

I was an exchange student in Japan when I was 16. I still keep in touch with my host family and we exchange gifts around the holidays. I seldom know what to get them. This year, I bought my host mother a sampler of perfumes. Then I started thinking that this might be a cultural faux pas (like it might be interpreted that she was dirty or smelled bad or something). Because cleanliness is such a big issue there, I don't want to offend.

Does anyone know whether perfume is an appropriate gift to a middle-aged woman in Japan?

TIA

[Saartje]

I don't know about this gift in particular (I'll try to remember to ask DH later); but I can give you a few guidelines, based on advice I was given by Japanese professors regarding gift-giving in Japan.

The best things to give are American crafts; anything more-or-less unique, and connected with your home country, is a good choice. Porcelain dolls in the native dress of your country are also good, or foods not available in Japan: again, something connected with your home country.

Those are specific recommendations I recall for what to bring with you to give to people hosting any gathering in Japan (gifts are always exchanged, IIRC); knowing your host family a little more personally, you may have better ideas. One general rule to remember, though, is NOT to give gifts in multiples of 4. (Hard to avoid if you buy a set of something in the US; many things come in fours: 4 place settings, 12 bon bons, etc.) One of the words for 4 is a homophone for "death," and I've heard giving a multiple of 4 as a gift in Japan would be like giving a dead fish in the U.S.: weird, inappropriate, and a little creepy.

[shishamo]

perfume is perfectly fine! I'm sure she will appreciate it. In general, though, since you are a foreigner (gaijin), Japanese people will not pass any judgement on you, no matter what you give.