Feeling frustrated and blue

[californiamom]

Yesterday I had a terrible time feeding DD. For those of you who read my posts on the Feeding board you may have read that I've had a few struggles with this in the past.

She is not drinking anything from bottles. She absolutely hates her bottles. To the point I just put them all away. At daycare, they have to spoon-feed her the formula mixed with some oatmeal cereal in order for her to get at least 12 oz/day. God bless those two women in her infant room, they really try hard and they are very patient with Camilla.

I try to give her sippy cups, but she will only drink water from it, and not much. Sometimes I worry she's not getting enough water.

I am still BFing in the morning, after work and before bed time, because I am so worried about her not taking bottles. I wish I could wean her but right now I don't see that happening.

I also think we are very late introducing solids. Because of our chaotic schedule I never had a lot of time to cook her meals, although I did cook and froze a fair amount. The rest of her diet is basically Earth's Best jarred baby food. At daycare she gets Gerber (it's included in the tuition).

She's had Cherrios and the Whole Foods version of Cheerios, veggie puffs, fruit puffs, diced bananas, apples, crackers, mandarim oranges and cheese. She also loves her YoBaby yogurt. But whenever she is eating, she seldomly swallows! She puts things in her mounth, chews a bit and then spits them out. The floor ends up COVERED with tiny pieces of food. The amount of food she actually ingests is minimum. It takes me about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to feed her dinner every night! So that means her bedtime is also later than it should be and that is also affecting OUR bedtime.

Is this normal? What's your 11 month-old eating? Are they good eaters? How much do they eat?

Sorry this is long. If you read this far, thank you.

[steph2003]

Hugs to you!!!

I don't have much advice for you, sorry - but I didn't want you to think your worries were being ignored!!!

I'm at a loss at your DD's behavior although I've got to think she'll eat when & if she is hungry? I know she has to take a bottle at her daycare but hates those so maybe she makes up for it the times you do BF her?

My almost 10 month old son isn't a great self feeder although he swallows what he does get into his mouth. I would keep giving your DD finger foods/jar food when you can to keep exposing her to different textures & flavors - not necessarily for nutritional value. I think at 11 months the bulk of her diet/calories should still come from breastmilk or formula although that seems to be the challenge for you.

Can you talk to your pediatrician too for any input? is your DD losing weight or your pediatrican concerned about her weight?

sorry I'm not much help - for what it is worth my son takes forever to eat meals too & a lot of times I'll just let him sit in his high chair & feed himself finger foods while I get my dinner ready or do other stuff in the immediate area where I can still watch him.

[jbowman]

Super big hugs, Ana!

Ellie is just a couple of weeks older than Camilla. She never really took a bottle well and then completely rejected it around 6 months. I offer her at least one bowl of rice cereal/oatmeal a day (mixed with EBM), just to get her to take more milk. I understand some of your frustrations.

Is Camilla gaining weight ok? If she is, I wouldn't stress out too much about the bottle situation.

Ellie eats a lot of the food that you listed. I think that's an ok variety. I would suggest just setting the food down on her tray and monitoring her, but don't let it be a 2-hour production (of course I know that you have to feed her the Yo-Baby). Offer the food, see how much she eats, and then after 20 minutes or so (when she starts throwing the food, LOL!), I'd clean up. You can offer Camilla nutritious food--it is up to her to eat it though!

And FWIW, I wouldn't say that Ellie is a *fantastic* eater. She will eat a lot of something she likes (watermelon, pancakes--she loves pancakes--I fix them often b/c I know she will eat them), but often rejects other foods (namely veggies) and somedays it seems she eats very little except for breastmilk (which is ok). I have just adapted the foods I offer (frankly I offer what I know she'll eat since Ellie is on the small side and needs as much food and breastmilk that I can get into her).

HTH! I am sure others will have more suggestions/advice. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, Ana!

[lisaE]

This happened to some friends of mine. Their DD had eating habits just like this at that age. Their ped. said that as long as they were offering her food, it was really up to her whether she ate or not. He said, "Are you putting food in front of her? Then your job is done." Still, like you, they couldn't help but worry.

I know this is hard, but try not to worry, and I might not try to force her. Give her a certain amount of time to eat dinner, and then put it away.

Hang in there, I'm sure this is just a phase. My friends' DD is a super eater now. Good luck.

[cuca_]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you tried different kinds of bottles and/or sippy cups? I don't think you are late introducing solids. My DD wasn't great with real food for a while, and ate a ton of baby food. In fact, I still give her jarred food for a few meals whenever I feel she's going though a period when she is not eating well. DD is now 18 months old and is great with table food (and has been for a few months). I would keep offering the foods you are offering, and as someone else said, I would not make it a 2 1/2 hour ordeal (unless she has weight issues).

Have you read Ellyn Satter's "Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense"? I read about it on this boards, and must concur that it is a great book. It really made me much more relaxed about feeding issues.

Hope things get better.

Carmen
DD May 2003
#2 expected in May 2005!

[mudder17]

Hugs to you Ana!!! I'm not sure that I can add any more advice, but I wanted to offer you my support! DD also started rejecting bottles around 8 weeks and we put them away after about a month of trying just about every bottle out there. We started introducing oatmeal cereal around 6.5 months, and gave her sippy cups (w/water) starting around 4.5 months. Since she didn't take bottles, until she started taking a sippy reliably, we gave her milk via medicine droppers when DH had to feed her and I wasn't around. Once she started taking the sippy cup more reliably with water, there were a few times when we put EBM in it and she did take it, although it was a slow process.

I'm not sure if DD is going to be in trouble at 11 months or not, because we usually feed her the yo baby, the pureed veggies, ground up turkey (just started) and the cereal. For actually eating purposes, she doesn't usually self-feed, so I guess she's not getting much practice with a spoon on her own. Since we feed her, actual feeding times don't usually last much past 15 minutes. If she refuses the food, we just stop and try again later.

Finger foods we do give her, usually when we need to occupy her. For example DH and I go to the Chiropractor 3 times a week and often she's with us. So while she's in the stroller, we'll put oatios and wheat puffs on her tray for her to eat. She loves doing that. Sometimes during the day, if I need to occupy her for a short while and she doesn't feel like playing, I'll put her in her high chair and put finger foods such as the cereals, pieces of firm tofu, or maybe small pieces of fruit. Other ways of occupying her is to give her a small (but too big to get completely in her mouth) wedge of pear or apple to suck/gum on. That can occupy her for a good 15 minutes!

Other posters had great suggestions including reading Ellen's book Child of Mine or her earlier book, How to get your child to eat, but not too much.

Anyway, good luck and try not to stress too much, especially if she's doing okay otherwise. And FWIW, I think she's eating quite a large variety of food, even if it appears not enough gets in her. You're doing the right thing by offering her a large variety of healthy foods.

Hugs!

Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://www.babysfirstsite.org/newtickers/ticker/16994.birthday.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amber_9m.gif Breastfed 9 months and counting

[pixelprincess]

Hi Ana,
We had our fair share of feeding trouble and can relate. Things are so much better now at 17m, so hang in there! DS still has a limited palate but considerably better than before.

DS rejected bottles at 8 weeks and I found that a faster flow nipple and switching the bottle rectified the problem. Although, he loved his bottle sooo much, that he refused the sippy cup. He was a year old and had barely started holding his own bottle, so I was hard pressed to switch him to a sippy as suggested by the ped. Does your ped want you to switch to a sippy at a year? If so, it may just be easier to keep trying with the sippy cup.

I got some great feedback on this bb, and Rebecca and someone else (sorry, can't remember) suggested giving him a sippy without a valve, and it worked! I can't tell you how desperate I was getting and the CIO measure by withholding the bottle worked. Since Camilla does drink from the sippy cup, you might have better luck getting her to drink milk from it.

As far as food, he was a very picky eater upto 14 months or so, and ate 4-5 things and that too not consistently. He did like rice so I gave him a lot of mushed rice with lentils. Funnily, I found that he didn't care for bland food so adding some spice (whatever we cook for ourselves) helped him eat. He is finally eating fruit (which he refused too). I used a lot of jarred food too, since it seemed like it was putting some food in his little belly.

I know how hard this is...you always worry if they are getting enough. The well baby visits helped keep me reassured.

[tippy]

Sorry you’re having a rough time in the feeding area! I just wanted to throw something out there for any of you whose children are not drinking cow’s milk after 1 yr. At my ds's one yr check up he was actually drinking at least 2 8 oz btls of cow’s milk daily in addition to BF. He also ate a lot of yogurt and cheese. Somewhere over the yr he stopped drinking the cow’s milk and increased his BF. At 20 mos he was diagnosed with pretty severe anemia. I've been giving him two iron supplements daily (as per the pediatrician) since then and his iron levels are back to normal. My pediatrician said that if they aren’t getting at least 16 oz (?) of milk per day they need an iron supplement because BM has so little iron in it. You might want to check with your Dr. if this is anything you need to think about after her first birthday.
Teva
Mom to AJ born 1-8-03

[Misha412]

Ana, you could be talking about Gavin!! Since he grew out of Stage 2 foods, getting him to eat is torture. He does still take a bottle for us, and I've kept him on rice cereal mixed with fruit puree just so he gets breakfast into his little tummy. After that, all bets are off. If I'm lucky, he'll gnaw on some whole-wheat toast, some mandarin oranges and some cheese before gobbling down his Yo-Baby. Like Camilla, most of his meals end up in his lap!

I talked to the ped about this and he told me not to worry. DS will eat when he's hungry and he'll fulfill his own needs as long as I provide him with food on a regular schedule. He told me never to force him to eat, as that is the quickest road to childhood obesity.
Still, it's hard to watch him eat 10 Cheerios for dinner, then refuse to eat anything else!

From what I've read here, hopefully both of our little ones are going to grow out of this stage soon. In the meantime, I'm going to try the pancake suggestion, maybe adding some banana into the batter...

Good luck and know you've got a eating twin out here in CT!!!


Michele
Mommy to Gavin, 12/4/03

[babymama]

You've gotten some great advice and re-assurance already. I just wanted to add mine (apologies if I'm repeating here).

First some reassurance...The diet you described (Earth's Best, Cherrios, veggie puffs, fruit puffs, diced bananas, apples, crackers, mandarin oranges, cheese, YoBaby yogurt) sounds like a really good mix for that age. Those where the staples of Santiago's diet around 10/11 months (with chopped up deli turkey as another staple). It takes him a really long time to pick up pieces of food and it;s not unusual for his feeding time to stretch into an hour or so. At over 1 year now, Santiago still will not hold his own bottle.

Now for a bit of advice: At around 9 months, Santiago began to prefer self-feeding. An example from last night, in fact, is that Santiago wouldn't eat the mac and cheese I made him from a spoon (closes mouth, moves head from side to side, pushes tray, kicks, screams, pushes my hand away), but when I set clumps of mac and cheese down on the tray in front of him, he went to town eating it all on his own. Here are some other ideas for table food that your DD might enjoy feeding herself (easy to pick up)- bowtie pasta w/ a bit of sauce and lots of cheese, mac and cheese (shells are easier for my DS to pick up ),edamame, peas, sticky rice (I add cheese to make it sticky, rather than overcooking) and beans, pancake or toaster waffles (I slather them w/ butter for him), quartered grapes. I wouldn't worry about her dehydrating, unless you see that she's not making wet diapers and no tears when she cries.

That's all I can think of for now! Good luck! You're doing a great job.
ETA - I forgot to mention that Santiago does that thing you described where he tastes the food and then wipes it off his tounge and flings it onto his tray or the floor. In his case, that could mean one of 3 things: (1) I gave him a taste of some food that was different than the one he already had in his mouth, and he wants to get rid of the second one in order to finish the first (example - adding sweet potatoes to a goldfish). For some reasonm he doesn't like certain tastes to mix, (2) He's interested in the texture, but not interested in eating it. this happens a lot with really messy, crumbly foods like goldfish and cheerios. He'll crunch it and let it break apart outside of his mouth, then spit out the pieces that fell into his mouth. (3) He's not hungry or not interested, and in either case he's ready to move on.

Lydia
Mama to Santiago, born 11/16/03