JUDE, I was thinking of you last night; and, ATTACHMENT??

[aliceinwonderland]

SO, Erik may well forget who his mommy is. I'm at school morning till night, and it will be this way for exactly 2 more weeks. I do not see him at all during the day, only early in the morning and in the strange hours of the night.

I think he is having some attachment problems. He woke up last night at 1230, and was ready to play. Normally, he nurses and goes right back to sleep. I could not figure out why he wasn't going back to sleep, so I figured I would change his diaper...the SECOND i put him down, he was screaming like I poured hot water on him. I mean sobbing, tears streaming down, I have no doubt the whole neighborhood heard it. I pick him up, STOPS, automatically. He finally went to sleep in our bed.

I was thinking of Riordan and her strange hours last night--has it gotten any better??

Finals will be over soon and I will have 3 full weeks to be at home with my son...Cannot wait...

[wagner36]

Hi Eri - You're almost done with your first semester!

I know I'm not Jude, but I wanted to give you a little moral support - Erik is NOT going to forget who is mommy is - even when I miss Charlie during the day for days and weeks in a row, he never forgets! He is, however, a terrible sleeper at night, because he wants to spend time with me, which I can't complain about, really. He reverse-cycled like mad last year when I was super busy in December, but it got better when I was home more again. I actually don't mind the night-time parenting and cuddling, but I also don't have finals to take! Good luck on your exams! Don't forget that time-management is the most important factor in law schools exams. If it is an issue-spotting exam, and there are 300 possible issues and 100 gets an A, then divide your exam time by 100 and spend only that amount of minutes on each question. Con Law will be a little more touchy-feely, but on some of the pure issue spotting exams, some profs at the UofM didn't even require that you write in complete sentences. Are there old exams with graded answers on reserve at the library? It's always helpful to see what a professor grades as a really good exam - but copy those early, because I swear that people would steal them from reserve!

Good luck - you'll do great! Just remember - exam time management is the most important thing. If you can bring outlines in, I never bothered memorizing stuff, I would just color code everything with tape flags. Sometimes I swear that tape flags are the reason why I did well in law school! I'm totally addicted to them at work, too.

[Saartje]

Kudos to you, Eri, for working so hard both in school and taking care of that beautiful boy you have! Keep up the good work -- Erik will not forget his mommy, and it will all be worthwhile.

[aliceinwonderland]

Thanks Tara--I must be really bad at time management, because this first semester KICKED my butt, and I still feel "behind". I have friends/family I have not called in MONTHS, I swear I have DH call people to tell them I don't hate them, I'm just under a very big rock.

At this point I am convinced I will get mediocre grades, I just want to get through the whole thing without a destructive anxiety disorder!!

At any rate, yes, all our exams are open book. Civ. Pro. is open everything, commercial outlines included. And past exams are on our intranet as well as paper files, so no worries about sabotage.

Thanks so much for your support. It really is appreciated. Off to my date with Glannon :) :)

[Jacksonvol]

Get out! Open book exams?!? Man, you are so lucky. I only had a couple of those and they were in my "seminar" classes my 3rd year. I endorse the colored tape flag method for those!

And don't worry about feeling despondent at the end of your first semester. That is completely normal. You will be fine. And I am so jealous of your three week break. The office is only closed the 23rd & 24th this year, because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a lawsuit.

Good luck!

[wagner36]

You get the 23rd off!?!? I have a closing the 24th even, even though we're officially closed that day!

[aliceinwonderland]

Hehe. I'm "shadowing" a NYC partner in January, and she scheduled our day for a Sunday...I'm thinking it was inadvertent, but with those hours, who knows!! And I'm afraid to ask, LOL :)

[dowlinal]

I was just thinking about how much I miss that nice little winter break from law school!! I work for a Justice right now so I get the 24th AND the 31st off, unless she decides she needs something.

What firm are you looking at? Big firm hours in NYC are not pretty. The firm that I am supposed to be going to has showers so that you can clean yourself up if you are there all night. Clerkships are definately the way to go. My justice is wonderful. She lets me leave at 5:30 and work at home after Madeline goes to bed. She also lets me work from home on the court holidays and is totally cool with my husband bringing Madeline into chambers for lunch.

A

[aliceinwonderland]

I'm just shadowing a Penn alum to see what it's like (they have a program here that does that).

I'd love to clerk, but the reality of my school loans, etc. is that I'll jump into BIGLAW as soon as I graduate (providing I don't fail this semester!). We're most likely going back to Boston. I miss it so, and, well, I can't do the NY thing.

I know all about the hours, etc. Fully warned :):)

[dowlinal]

FYI - If you really want to clerk but need money there is still a way to do it. If you work at a big firm for a year and then clerk for the federal court system, the court will match your salery up to a certain amount. I believe its somewhere in the neighborhood of 85K. Plus, clerking counts as a year at the firm so you would go back as a 3rd year associate with the corresponding salary increase and many firms give clerkship bonuses. I know that for NYC firms you're looking at 10K in your first paycheck for being a clerk.

[aliceinwonderland]

I thought one clerked right after graduating (after maybe receiving a firm offer as well)?? But you say you actually work for a firm and THEN go clerk??

The market we would be looking at (Boston) is rather saturated I'm afraid--Harvard, BC, BU, etc., so the fed. ones would be VERY hard to come by (and doesn't MA only have one district??)

Where are you clerking now?? DO you love it?? I really want to clerk this summer, because if I go into BIGLAW after graduating, who knows if I'll ever set foot in a courtroom...

I need to get on the ball with the summer search....Stress, more stress...

[Judegirl]

Hey, Eri! Thanks for thinking of us - though I'm sorry it was under those circumstances! It does sound like separation anxiety, probably exacerbated by his not seeing you much lately. I'd guess that when things go back to normal he'll ease up a little...and congrats on being almost finished with the semester. :)

Riordan is still wanting to play when she wakes up; once she opens those eyes, it's a guaranteed 2-hour stint if it's before 4am. Her lately looks like this:

6:30 pm - sleep
8:00 pm - awake and hyper and wanting to play, fussy if we leave her in her crib alone. We sit in the room with her and try to keep her in the crib, unless she's really bouncing off the wall. (bumper.)
12/12:30am - asleep (just when Erik's waking up now??)
1:30/2:00 - awake and hyper, laughing etc.
3:30-4:00 - asleep
8:00 - I wake her up (We're moving toward 7am, but it's hard for US to get up then!)

She's getting about 9-10 hours of sleep every 24 hours. I'm trying not to worry myself sick over it.

If she had done what Erik did last night, she might have ended up in our bed too - and there's no room for her there! Thankfully, the crying is still very minimal. She's never been a crier, so when she starts now I have to try very hard not to freak out and assume there's a tack in her diaper or something. (Egads, if there were actually TEARS I don't know what I'd do!! I'm very spoiled, I know!) But I can tell it's about us leaving the room, or that she knows it's bedtime because when I look at her and say her name in that "Hey, knock-it-off" tone, she grins at me. Hmmph!

Hang in there, make the most of the moments you do have over the next 2 weeks, and good luck getting some sleep!

Best,
Jude

[aliceinwonderland]

Erik's is

830--sleep
1230-1--wake up, USUALLY nurse and back to sleep, sometimes major drama, singing, etc.

1am on--anyone's guess. Ranges from sleep till 630 am (BLISS!), or, on and off awake every couple of hours.

I call him drama king: he absolutely breaks your heart with the SAD face, lips, streaming tears, and LOUD wailing...good times ahead, for sure...

I find he sleeps better when in the middle of the bed with us...but I am so OUT of it these days, I worry about that being unsafe now. He woke me up this am by pulling my hair. Cute.

[jesseandgrace]

First Year first semester exams are the worst, but you will find that you have done much better than you think! I worked for a big firm in Boston when I was in law school, Hale and Dorr, and it was a fantastic place to work - but it is definitely true, the hours were endeless. On the other hand the money was incredible! I mean incredible! I found the work interesting, and the people smart and great to work with. I chose not to take a job there because I could not imagine never seeing ds (and now dd), but i have friends that have made the opposite decision and it works well for them. Obviously it is important to work as a summer associate at your top choice firm, as that is the best way to get an offer. Yes, there are many law schools in Boston, but that might make you stand out!

[aliceinwonderland]

Did you know they merged with another firm recently??

That's one of the firms I'm interested in. I remotely know a partner there(he may not even remember me, we worked on a project a long time ago), and he is in real estate (I'm not interested in that).

What route did you end up taking(if you do not mind me asking?? In-house?? I have to do the firm thing for a couple of yrs, so I can pay my Penn loans...then who knows.