SASM
12-04-2004, 11:45 AM
I am apologizing in advance. I know that I am not here as much as I used to be but I have nowhere else to vent: I recently moved to a new area, my girlfriends suddenly have seemed to take an email vacation, and DH CLEARLY does not understand :( So...I am sorry...
BRIEF BACKGROUND: I gained 50# during Ian's pregnancy and finally was back down to 20# less than pre-preg weight a year and a half later. I worked out for an hour and a half 5 days a week for over a year, logged and calculated calories for EVERY bite that I ate, and it was VERY HARD!! I was so proud of that accomplishment. We have moved twice since finding out about the pregnancy and my workout/eating schedule went down the toilet as soon as I moved back to my hometown for 4 months :( At 29 weeks gestation, I am at a 30# gain and the butt jiggle is back with a vengeance :(
Okay...here it goes. Two days ago I found out that we have to attend a "black tie optional" event for DH's new group. I knew the inventory in my half of the closet wasn't going to cut it. Yesterday, I was on a mission to find the perfect sexy outfit to show off my beautiful, albeit flabby, belly. I went to all of the maternity stores that I could find. Scary options for long black dresses, or any long (needs to be long thanks to the newly HUGE varicose veins haunting my lower legs) dresses for that matter. So, after shopping with a very tolerant Ian, I came home with two black Gap Maternity tops to pair with some basic black pants. In the evening, as soon as we finished getting Ian settled into bed, I told DH to sit down in the BR while I showed him what I came up with. I hadn't seen the combinations yet myself. The two tops kind of worked with the pants (DH liked the one that I wasn't leaning towards) but they didn't make me feel "sexy" or dressed up enough for a "black tie optional" affair. So...then I had a brainstorm. We went to a black tie affair last NYE and I still had that dress, which was a long black velvet thing with a long slit up the front and from my still-overweight collection. So...I tried it on and looked in the mirror. It was tight but from the front, due to the opaqueness of the fabric, it seemed to have hidden the flaws, the hem looked even, and I actually looked "voluptuous" and hippy :) Then, I turned to the side and WHOA!!! All I could see was black velvet boobs and a belly!! I stepped out so DH could see and he burst out laughing :( Okay...so maybe my view was somewhat skewed :( Then...I remembered another favorite stretchy dress of mine...an Anne Taylor V-neck and V-back dress made of a black chiffon-ish type fabric. I tried that on and thought that it looked pretty good. No high slit, appealing V's in front and back, very classy style, looked decent form the side although it gathered somewhat around the middle. Stepped out so DH could see and the laughter was much more than the velvet dress :( I went back into the closet and started crying that I wish that we had the expendable cash for a little pampering, that I felt fatter than with Ian at 9+ months, my hair has lost its natural curl and I am looking like the Bride of Frankenstein, and my complexion is HORRENDOUS!!! I started talking about the photos from the Forth of July when I was "buff", thin-faced, even-complexioned, and radiant. DH was looking at me like I was from another planet. Maybe I was at that point! You know...those ugly hormones that wreak havoc on the emotions and logic. He asked what I was talking about...that I looked normal and everything is fine. YOU DO NOT TELL A WOMAN WHO IS PREGNANT THAT SHE LOOKS NORMAL!!!! Geez...I want to cry again just thinking about his reaction. He says that the women at work are telling him that I do not need to go out and buy anything, but I do not want to go in there dressed differently from everyone else and have a belly out the there to boot!! So...now I have an event in two weeks that I am not going to look fabulous for AND I feel HORRIBLE about my appearance as well :( I only wish that my hair stylist didn't live 8 hours away!!! :( That would be a possible quick "fix". This AM DH was saying that I could wear one of the back tops with the black pants and "we'll get a white shawl and a nice necklace". It is a start, right? :)
So...sorry about the ranting... Sorry about the novel... Gotta run now...Ian is screaming for me. Thank you for "listening". So...maybe this had something to do with my insomnia episode last night. Now...what to do about the rest of my insomnia problems!! :)
BRIEF BACKGROUND: I gained 50# during Ian's pregnancy and finally was back down to 20# less than pre-preg weight a year and a half later. I worked out for an hour and a half 5 days a week for over a year, logged and calculated calories for EVERY bite that I ate, and it was VERY HARD!! I was so proud of that accomplishment. We have moved twice since finding out about the pregnancy and my workout/eating schedule went down the toilet as soon as I moved back to my hometown for 4 months :( At 29 weeks gestation, I am at a 30# gain and the butt jiggle is back with a vengeance :(
Okay...here it goes. Two days ago I found out that we have to attend a "black tie optional" event for DH's new group. I knew the inventory in my half of the closet wasn't going to cut it. Yesterday, I was on a mission to find the perfect sexy outfit to show off my beautiful, albeit flabby, belly. I went to all of the maternity stores that I could find. Scary options for long black dresses, or any long (needs to be long thanks to the newly HUGE varicose veins haunting my lower legs) dresses for that matter. So, after shopping with a very tolerant Ian, I came home with two black Gap Maternity tops to pair with some basic black pants. In the evening, as soon as we finished getting Ian settled into bed, I told DH to sit down in the BR while I showed him what I came up with. I hadn't seen the combinations yet myself. The two tops kind of worked with the pants (DH liked the one that I wasn't leaning towards) but they didn't make me feel "sexy" or dressed up enough for a "black tie optional" affair. So...then I had a brainstorm. We went to a black tie affair last NYE and I still had that dress, which was a long black velvet thing with a long slit up the front and from my still-overweight collection. So...I tried it on and looked in the mirror. It was tight but from the front, due to the opaqueness of the fabric, it seemed to have hidden the flaws, the hem looked even, and I actually looked "voluptuous" and hippy :) Then, I turned to the side and WHOA!!! All I could see was black velvet boobs and a belly!! I stepped out so DH could see and he burst out laughing :( Okay...so maybe my view was somewhat skewed :( Then...I remembered another favorite stretchy dress of mine...an Anne Taylor V-neck and V-back dress made of a black chiffon-ish type fabric. I tried that on and thought that it looked pretty good. No high slit, appealing V's in front and back, very classy style, looked decent form the side although it gathered somewhat around the middle. Stepped out so DH could see and the laughter was much more than the velvet dress :( I went back into the closet and started crying that I wish that we had the expendable cash for a little pampering, that I felt fatter than with Ian at 9+ months, my hair has lost its natural curl and I am looking like the Bride of Frankenstein, and my complexion is HORRENDOUS!!! I started talking about the photos from the Forth of July when I was "buff", thin-faced, even-complexioned, and radiant. DH was looking at me like I was from another planet. Maybe I was at that point! You know...those ugly hormones that wreak havoc on the emotions and logic. He asked what I was talking about...that I looked normal and everything is fine. YOU DO NOT TELL A WOMAN WHO IS PREGNANT THAT SHE LOOKS NORMAL!!!! Geez...I want to cry again just thinking about his reaction. He says that the women at work are telling him that I do not need to go out and buy anything, but I do not want to go in there dressed differently from everyone else and have a belly out the there to boot!! So...now I have an event in two weeks that I am not going to look fabulous for AND I feel HORRIBLE about my appearance as well :( I only wish that my hair stylist didn't live 8 hours away!!! :( That would be a possible quick "fix". This AM DH was saying that I could wear one of the back tops with the black pants and "we'll get a white shawl and a nice necklace". It is a start, right? :)
So...sorry about the ranting... Sorry about the novel... Gotta run now...Ian is screaming for me. Thank you for "listening". So...maybe this had something to do with my insomnia episode last night. Now...what to do about the rest of my insomnia problems!! :)