Anyone Ever Have A Toddler Refuse To Talk?

[Kieransmom]

I have to say DS had a double whammy when he was born unto two very stubborn parents but we're becoming concerned about DS's lack of speech.

Kieran will be 19 months old on the 9th of this month. He has been saying a few things and signing a bit for a long time. Recently we noticed that the vocabulary he had he no longer or rarely uses. (he used to say Hot Dog all the time and now he won't say it) Currently the only real words he will speak is *More* (which he generalizes for EVERYTHING he wants) and *Apple* or *What's This?*. He does say *Wow* all the time when he sees something he likes or that surprises him. Maybe a *Hi* every once in a while which he used to say constantly but I don't know what happened. He will sign words before he will speak them. If you ever ask him to say something when you're with him he shakes his head no. He babbles a great deal and uses his hands and body as if he's TRYING to tell you a story or something but nothing you can understand. When he is with my mother he apparently is more vocal with her. She will give me a (small)list of words he has said while with her.

About 2 months ago we saw the Ped and a Behaviorist and they both felt he was very normal and within the limits. Since those visits I've noticed that the words he used to say he is no longer using. I'm kind of starting to wonder if it is because of me that he just won't speak. He has always been a high needs baby so I am always kicked into overdrive and can predict what he wants by facial expressions and actions. Not good...I think this may be making him *lazy* and depending on mommy rather than himself. I read to him CONSTANTLY by his choice and always talk to him and sometimes narrate what I'm doing. Maybe I've been talking TOO much.

Unfortunately my Ped is moving to a new practice and is on haitus for the next 2 months. She's the only one who really knows DS well enough to tell me what may be up. Has anyone experienced this with your child and what did you do to help?

Thank you!

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03
Aunt to Alexandra Juliette, born 12/4/04

[hjdong]

I don't have any experience with my DS but both my brother (now 16) and a friend's 4 year old had this issue.

With my brother, it was plain old stubborness (well, couple with a lot of trauma in his life). My Step-mom took him everywhere and what finally worked was not responding to him unless he talked. Now, I want to make it clear, he could talk but chose to use grunts instead because she knew what they meant. Also, he was whispering things (actually, the whole song Winnie the Pooh), but no one was listening closely enough to realize it.

My friend's 4 year old is autistic. He did say some words but has lost them over time. However, he is mostly non-communicative. He will scream if he doesn't like something, or walk you to something he wants, but that's about it. Also, he interacts with adults, but completely avoids other kids.

If I were you, I would call the behaviorist again. Kids and language to me is a really magical thing. One day the really only say a few things, and the next thing you know you're having conversations and you can't really pinpoint where the change occurred. And it seems like such a wide age range that the change can occur. However, I would be very concerned by the regression. I am by no means a specialist, but it would really worry me. Even though the behaviorist may not know your son as well as you Ped., she is a specialist and would probably be able to give you advice until you can get to your ped.

HTH,

HTH,

[ethansmom]

We are experiencing something similair w/DS. Our ped was really only concerned if he could say two syllables. nana for bananna sufficed.

DS also is/was high needs, and I really try not to push him to talk more since I think he won't due to stubborness. (no idea where he could have gotten his stubborness from!) However, I have not changed my practice of speaking to him, narrating, etc. I was shocked yesterday...he got REALLY frustrated and said "up". I always say "up, please" when I can tell he wants to be picked up, and do so.

[Kieransmom]

Oh yes, you reminded me! Duh! 2 of his FAVORITE words are *Up* and *Down*. He grasped that concept at about 14-15 months and says it all the time. But other than these words I've mentioned above that's pretty much it.

Michelle

Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03
Aunt to Alexandra Juliette, born 12/4/04

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[Jenmv]

I'm by no means an expert in any of this but DD was very reluctant to talk until just recently. She's 23 months. She would also learn a new word, say it clear as a bell and then not say it again for months. There are some words that she used around a year such as milk that she still won't say. Very frustrating and even now that she is speaking more, she has a habbit of mumbling words with her mouth closed when we all know she can pronounce the word properly. She has always demonstrated a good understanding of what was being said to her and followed directions so I've tried to have patience. It's hard sometimes when you compare them to other children the same age who seem more verbaly advanced but I agree that the stubborness can be a factor too. I've had many people comment to me that it was as if she was just refusing to talk. No Kidding! She also refuses to call me mommy. She will point to me when you ask where's mom but when I ask her who I am she looks at me with a devilish grin, says daddy and giggles. With her personality I don't think she'll call me mom until I stop pressing the issue. It's obvious that she does it on purpose. Who would have thought they could have such distinct personalities so early on.

Honestly, DH and I are both stubborn people but I was hoping that DD would not inherit it from both of us.

I don't know if I really answered your question but you're certainly not the only one with a child like this and I will say DD has made a dramatic improvment in the last month or so but it wasn't due to anything we did.

[g-mama]

Michelle,

My older ds, Paolo, was and is a high needs child. His speech was much like you described, and of course, worried me to death. He did not say "mama" til 22 months. He said a handful of words prior to that age, but only at his whim, never repeating them when prompted. And like Kieran, wanted to be read books constantly.

Once Paolo began talking, it really took off. It was like someone flipped a switch and his vocabulary just grew by leaps and bounds every day. I do feel it was stubbornness! And that he inherited from me. x(

I will tell you that as a 4-year-old, oh my, if I could turn the "off" switch some days, I would. He talks incessantly, every minute of every day, barely taking a breath. It wears me out as he wants feedback after every statement he makes, constant conversation.

I'm no expert, and if you feel Kieran's speech warrants it now or in a couple of months, seek whatever help you need, but just wanted to share my experience with you.


Kristen
Paolo 11-00
Benjamin 8-03

[lisams]

I think what you are describing is well within the normal range. When DD started talking, she would say the same few words over and over and then after a few weeks we wouldn't hear them. My theory is that she was practicing using the word (when is it the right word to use, how does it sound best, etc.) and once she mastered the use and sound of it she filed it away in her brain and started working on something new. I think working on new words kind of made her "forget" the filed away words. We wouldn't hear the old words for over a month and then all of the sudden she started putting words together like "baby sad" at around 22 months. Now she is an incredible talker, but interestingly DH and I are very quiet people and I felt like I neglected talking to DD when she was younger but I really don't think it mattered. I think learning to talk is like learning to walk - they will do it when they're ready.

Sorry I have no advice or help, but just wanted to let you know that we went trough a similar phase and DD is just fine now ;-)

Lisa

[cilantromapuche]

We too are having this issue. Our speech person said there are two things you can't control and they can. They are speaking and potty training.
Her advice was to not anticipate his needs and make him ask for food. She said that they will not allow themselves to starve (although I swear DS is so stubborn that he would get pretty darn close). She did mention that a good majority of the time they are holding back and then won't be quiet from then on.
Good Luck!! there is always something to worry about.

Chris:-)