Anyone hedge on gift giving because you are afraid it won't be appreciated?

[MamaKath]

I am wondering this lately. My sil had a baby a few weeks ago, and I am so excited. I am in the process of making a blanket and some other items for her for the shower. Some of you may remember her tragic loss last year, so this is especially big, a true miracle!

I can't help but be a bit concerned though that she will dislike the gifts I am making. She is very particular, researches things, and would rather not have something if it is not going to be "just so". I know many of us here are like that to a point; researching toys is one part of these boards, and I know we all end up with a mental list of the perfect item and can easily be disappointed if things are not exact. What if my handmade gift is not "good enough" or as good as store bought that she registered for?

I am so nervous about attending her shower because I have this feeling in the pit of my gut that she is going to be upset, dissappointed, or just less than gracious over my gift. What if she hates the color (I did pink for her, now I looked at her registry that was done and nothing is pink, NOTHING), the overall look, the style, etc. Meanwhile my hands are so swollen from crocheting this blankie that I am wondering if my Christmas gifts I need to work on will ever be done. And my gut is even sicker that the only people I will know there besides her are my other sil and mil, both of whom I am on less than friendly terms. Someone please reassure me. I am not usually this nervous about things like this. :-(

[C99]

I can't speak for your SIL because I don't know her, but I do know how you feel and I do know that even though I think I was picky about some baby products, I also totally appreciated the unexpected, handmade things. In this day & age, I think they mean so much more than the dime-a-dozen storebought things -- and I hope for your sake that your SIL discovers that she feels the same way!

[redhookmom]

I think handmade things supercede anything bought in a store! After all of your hard work I hope your SIL appreciates the gift. Maybe you write something in the card like you enjoyed every minute it took to make the blanket because you were thinking of her and your niece.

[ellies mom]

Handmade gifts are wonderful. I love all the handmade things made for DD. Even the quilt MIL made that was completely wrong for the nursery, ended up being the perfect lap quilt for our "new" living room. Yes, I'm bummed if someone gets me a crappy plastic thing when I was really hoping for a nice wood one, but handmade gifts are a completely different story. If she is less than gracious or dissapointed, that is on her. At least you made a wonderful effort to welcome the child with love.

[KBecks]

It's OK, you're very generous to make a special blanket for your SIL.

If she doesn't like it, frankly, that's just too bad.

I'm a person who sometimes doesn't like gifts I receive, but it has never been a big deal. Life goes on, and presents are not that important in the scheme of things.

You're giving the gift out of caring, and you have a giving spirit. I doubt that your SIL would show disappointment at the shower, but if she does, then just don't worry about it. It's not your problem, its hers.

As for the shower where you don't know people, try to strike up a conversation or two, and if it doesn't work, than just have some punch and cookies, and leave as soon as the gifts are all opened. If you want to be sweet, you can offer to help clean up, but as a guest you are certainly not obligated to. Tell the host that it was a good party.

[wreckgirl1]

As previous posters have said, handmade gifts are a whole different animal than store-bought gifts. Even if it doesn't go with the theme of the nursery, it is an expression of love for the new baby for you to spend time to make such a creation, and a one-of-a-kind gift. Every time I see ANY of my daughter's handmade gifts, it makes me smile (including the knit sweater, hat, and bootie set that was too small for my 9-lb baby!) If she is anything BUT gracious about it, shame on her! (For that matter, shame on her if she shows disappointment about any of her gifts.)

Once you give the gift you should just not worry whether it is used. My DD has a different blankie for her crib, the car, grandma's house, and her play area (she likes blankies, and we received several). So just because it isn't seen by visitors doesn't mean it isn't loved & used. Assume that it is or eventually will be used, and be happy about it.

As far as mingling at the shower goes, smile at everyone you see, and if you see someone not in conversation, go up and introduce yourself. "How do you know the new mommy?" is a good conversation starter, as you can then talk about work, church, social groups, etc. Come up with an excuse to leave early if you think it is going to be unbearable.

Cynthia

[dr mom]

A handmade gift is a wonderful way to welcome a child into the world. Some of the baby gifts I treasured most were handmade for me by friends and family, including two beautiful blankets - neither one really matched our nursery color scheme, but that didn't matter - they have been well-used and loved for tummy-time, keeping warm in the stroller or the car, and snuggling together on the sofa. Everytime I use them I am reminded of the dear friends who generously gave their time and talent to make something truly special for my baby boy.

I think a handmade blanket is a WONDERFUL gift, and can even become a family heirloom. I still treasure a very special afghan that my grandmother made for me 25 years ago, not because of what it looks like, but because of the care and love that went into it. :)

[new_mommy25]

I know that I will treasure a homemade blanket for the rest of my life and will likely never part with it. I could never say the same for a storebought blanket. I always prefer homemade gifts. To me it says that the person was truly thinking of me and that the gift was from the heart.

[westchicagomom]

I had a friend make DD one of those fleece no-sew blankets in a print that I would not have chosen (winnie the pooh - we really don't do such themes around here). She gave it to DD for Xmas last year at which time I was already one of those people like your SIL who is particular, researches things, etc., but I was overjoyed w/ the gift and the fact that she took the time to do that for DD as we are not that close of friends.

I think your SIL will love it, and unless she is a completely rude and tactless person, you will never know if she doesn't love it, KWIM?

And if she didn't register for anything pink, this will be a color she doesn't have! Personally, I don't think you can go wrong w/ a blanket either. They are so useful.

I hope the shower is a lot better than you are anticipating - fortunately I haven't had to go to an in-laws shower as they were all done having kids before I met DH. I am sure it will all be fine and your handiwork will be admired by everyone there.

[papal]

Kath.. i am SURE a handmade blanket will be saved and treasured for many many years to come. Hardly anyone has time these days to make a handmade item... don't worry.. she will love it!